5 Key ‘Life Changing’ Positive Parenting Areas to Focus on in 2021
5 Key ‘Life Changing’ Positive Parenting Areas to Focus on in 2021
Parenting in busy seasons and during holidays can be nuts, right?
Life can feel really chaotic and off schedule (especially during this weird year of covid), and parenting in real life during a holiday season like Christmas or Hanukkah can be really hard.
Dealing with misbehavior while extended family is watching (whether it’s zoom or in real life meal gatherings – keeping toddlers or bored kiddos at a dinner table can be such drama!) can be so draining.
And there’s always these kinda situations where we do our best to handle with integrity (but in reality get knocked down often):
- Staying patient with preschoolers who are newly nap skipping (gosh this transition is HARD)
- Praying your kids will be gracious & polite when they open their holiday gifts
- Managing different family personalities (ahhhh, that mother – in – law & her advice is sometimes so challenging to stomach)
- Enduring long car rides with kids that literally can’t sit still
- Keeping the peace amongst siblings while juggling cooking, shopping & wrapping (this is the season of peace & joy right? lol)
The list goes on & on, but it’s all stuff that will really test you to your core.
But let’s get dreamy for one hot second ….
Wouldn’t it be nice to:
- See the beauty of the busy season, even amidst the chaos?
- Make beautiful memories with your kids, even amidst misbehavior & imperfection?
- Feel empowered to handle conflict & challenges in healthy ways?
- Make it through busy seasons being thankful for your kids instead of rolling your eyes at them?
- Start a new year feeling empowered, confident & excited? (even if we’re STILL on covid lockdown?)
If you answered “yes” to these questions, I want you to know that your experiences with your kids & life as a parent CAN become more positive … you just need some new ideas, inspiration & trusted advice.
Well heyyyyyyy, that’s where I come in, I’m here to help!
So where DO you start if you’re looking to make some big changes in your family dynamics in the new year?
Let’s start with visioning:
What plans, goals & dreams do you have for your family as we celebrate the next few weeks of holidays & then head into a brand spankin new year???
I know 2020 has kinda SUCKKKKKED, but what if this NEW year is YOUR year?
- What if THIS is the year that everything changes for you & your family & frustration turns into confidence?
- What if THIS is the year that you finally put yourself first & say YES to learning positive parenting curriculum?
- What if THIS is the year that you get FULLY supported on how to work with your kids with integrity, even when they’re pushing your buttons or throwing a tantrum?
- What if THIS is the year that you regain confidence in yourself, that you can handle the most testing trials & the most challenging situations … with kindness, grace, compassion & firmness.
- What if THIS is the year that you find a community that truly gets YOU and your heart & understands how hard you are working to be a great parent, but also how defeated you feel on so many days.
- What if THIS is the year when your levels of patience, empathy, understanding & connection with your children sky rocket leading to everyone in your family feeling more unconditional love & happiness?
- What if THIS is the year that you speak up and stand tall for what you want as far as support when learning how to expand your parenting toolkit to get you the answers you so desperately desire about parenting?
- What if THIS is the year that you start seeing your little strong willed disobedient powerhouse of a child as a courageous, big-hearted & incredible leader and soul that you can lead effectively without consistently relying on fear and force?
- What if THIS is the year that you learn that you’re not alone in your everyday struggles, but instead united with families all over the world going through the same trying time?
- What if THIS is the year that you accept support, trusting that you are STRONG to get help & fill up your own bucket?
- What if THIS is the year that you start to like your wild toddler again because you now finally have ways of working with him in which he responds well?
- What if THIS is the year that your days with your kids are filled with MORE joy than chaos and MORE connection then correction?
- What if THIS is the year that you get a handle on all that yelling & threatening that makes you feel like a big turd at the end of each day? (sorry, just being honest!)
- What if THIS is the year that your family grows closer & more connected as a team than you ever could imagine?
It really CAN be the year that positive change happens for your family, but you’ve got to take action to really start LEARNING MORE through a trusted parenting course like The Firm & Kind Parenting Blueprint. Now, having a goal of “learning more” can seem a bit vague, and even overwhelming.
Thoughts like this are common if they run through your brain:
“Where do I even start?”
“It seems like too much work, I don’t even have time to take a shower most days!”
“There’s so much misbehavior & chaos with my kids … I don’t know how we’ll ever get this under control!”
“I’m overwhelmed already, my brain is toast, learning more right now seems scary!”
“I’m kind of worried that I’m going to be told I suck and have to change or I’m going to ruin my kids .. I can’t handle that intensity right now!”
If any of those that self-talk sounds familiar, don’t worry, I want to break it down into simple guidance & encouragement for you to get started.
>>> Note that I’ve linked our top Fresh Start Family Show episodes below that correlate to guidance on each topic!
5 key areas I recommend you starting with in the new year to kick off the process of Expanding Your Heart, Learning New Tools & Strengthening Your Family.
- Paradigm Shifting: Look at how you’re SEEING your kids, their imperfections, misbehavior & the challenges in your parenting walk.
- Positive Parenting teaches us to see the cup half full, yes, even when things seem like they are going all to hell!
- Learning how to see the light in your kids, even when they are making mistakes, pushing buttons, and testing boundaries is a game changer in how you FEEL as a parent.
- Understanding how your negative thoughts about your kids being “bad” when they misbehave, affects your actions, behavior & communication with them & ultimately, the way they respond to you (or resist you) is eye opening beyond belief.
- Switching our views to embrace Positive Psychology when viewing and assessing misbehavior enables parents to become more effective in leading & influencing their kids.
2. Communication Tweaks: Acknowledge that there may be some communication strategies that aren’t working well for you & need replacing.
- Learning NEW ways to ask your kids to do things instead of demanding, forcing, threatening etc. gives parents HUGE results with better cooperation.
- Harnessing the power of fun & play causes kids to WANT to listen because they want to, not because they HAVE to (or else!).
- Building up our listening skills in ways where we seek to understand what’s happening internally for our kids (instead of assuming we know it all) strengthens relationships & our influence greatly!
- Looking at things like our own tone & tendency to nag and how we can clean that up gives us hope that WE can BE the change we want to see in our kids (and family).
3. Empowerment: Understand how empowering your kids with MORE opportunities to lead & feel powerful in your family dynamic will lead to better behavior.
- Learning how kids who crave power aren’t broken, but instead gifted & a gift to the world brings peace & understanding to parents’ hearts.
- Having REAL tools that fill up kiddos’ healthy needs to feel powerful FEELS so good and really works to give parents true influencing power.
- Understanding how giving kids MORE power doesn’t weaken you as a leader, but instead makes you stronger & causes your children to cooperate more is super impactful on families.
- Gaining tools to dissolve power struggles with integrity instead of force changes EVERY THANG & helps parents feel confident & proud when they lay their head on their pillow at night instead of guilty & annoyed.
4. Redirection: Focus on redirecting your kids UP & OUT of misbehavior vs. making them stop being bad.
- Parents who learn how to guide kids towards the behavior they want instead of focusing on what they’re doing wrong, feel better and see more success in lessoning misbehavior.
- Taking a break from forcing, threatening & coercing to redirect kids towards what you want works!
- Learning to slow down and get creative with redirection options causes parents to build self-control, thus modeling more of what they want from their kids.
- Detaching from intense meltdowns to stay stead & safe instead of reactive, volatile & dangerous as a parent creates massive results with kids who learn to self-regulate & self-calm.
- Building skills to influence our kids to behave well vs threaten builds family legacies of respect, dignity & connection.
5. Teaching with Integrity: Design a compassionate / effective discipline strategy that unites you with your kids, even through tough misbehavior & challenges.
- Filling up your toolkit with effective strategies that TEACH vs. punish help you sleep better at night knowing you mentored your kids with integrity.
- Teaching your kids to self-calm vs. FORCE them to chill the F out.
- Understanding the difference between punishment & discipline and how they influence kids much differently inspires parents to focus on compassionate discipline.
- Fully practicing what you preach (we don’t hurt others, we respect everyone in the family, we don’t talk disrespectfully to each other, etc.) embraces the idea that seed planting & true modeling is the BEST and ONLY way to teach healthy, long term lessons.
Stay tuned for more info about our annual Fresh Start Parenting New Year Kickoff Challenge – a completely FREE 5 Day Mini-Course that starts in mid-January. I’ll be sending out invitations very soon and would LOVE for you to join me! If you’re not on our email list yet, click below to grab our free guide & you’ll be added!
Raising A Strong Willed, Intense or Sensitive Child? If yes, I have a FREE guide for you!
This free planning worksheet will give you ways to build connection & ideas on how to work WITH them instead of trying to change them. Click HERE to get your free worksheet now.