Fresh Start 2019 Summer Challenge – Day #2

by | June 18, 2019 | 0 comments

Fresh Start 2019 Summer Challenge – Day #2

by | June 18, 2019 | 0 comments

*This free challenge ended on June 21, 2019, but please stay tuned for our next 5 day mini-course happening in January 2020*

In order to get the FULL benefits of this challenge, be sure that you are registered through the official registration page www.FreshStartFamilyOnline.com/summerchallenge.

You’ll be sent a prep kit, notes page & other info that you’ll need to succeed!


Ready for Day 2? Remember these lessons are designed to be SHORT & DIGESTIBLE.

Consuming & finishing ALL 5 LESSONS is your goal that we WILL celebrate on June 5th.

Daily Instructions:

  • Read this email lesson
  • Watch the video lesson (link at bottom)
  • Check into the private facebook group & watch the live feed @ 10:30am (PT) … or watch later on the facebook page!
  • Do the daily assignment / journal prompt (info at bottom)

4 CATEGORIES OF MISBEHAVIOR

ATTENTION, INADEQUACY, REVENGE, POWER

~HOW TO WORK WITH KIDS SEEKING ATTENTION IN AN INAPPROPRIATE WAY~


Now that we’re starting to practice pausing when a stimulus (misbehavior) comes our way, we want to move towards redirecting our kiddos’ behavior into a more positive direction.

Dr. Rudolph Dreikurs breaks down children’s misbehavior into 4 different categories:

Attention

  • Seeking attention from you in an inappropriate way
  • Any attention is deemed good by kids….even negative attention. We want to break this cycle.
  • Kids who misbehave in this category often have a mistaken belief that “the more you play with me or give me attention, the more you love me”
  • Parents will FEEL: IRRITATED, ANNOYED

Inadequacy / Avoidance

  • Not feeling capable of doing a task, doubting themselves, thinking they “just can’t on their own”
  • Often arises when a new task is being learned
  • Kids who behave this way NEED us to hold them in the light when they can’t hold themselves!
  • Parents will FEEL: PITY, THE DESIRE TO RESCUE

Revenge

  • When kids do something or say something that is revengeful
  • Kids who misbehave in this category often have a mistaken belief that “When I feel hurt, I have to hurt back….often because that’s what’s been modeled to me.” (ouch, I know…that one stings huh?)
  • Parents will FEEL: HURT, ANGRY

Power

  • When kids are in this category of misbehavior, they have a strong desire to FEEL powerful, but are seeking power in an inappropriate way.
  • Kids who misbehave in this category often have a mistaken belief that “In order to FEEL powerful, I must overpower others…often because that’s what’s been modeled to me!” (ouch, that one stings too, yikes!)
  • Parents will FEEL: PROVOKED, CHALLENGED

~HOW TO WORK WITH KIDS SEEKING ATTENTION IN AN INAPPROPRIATE WAY~

Step #1: When a stimulus comes your way (misbehavior):

  • Pause
  • Ask yourself, “HOW AM I FEELING?” and “What could my child be trying to communicate right now?”
  • If the answer is “I feel IRRITATED & ANNOYED”….then try these strategies.
    1. With immediate action…soft loving physical touch WITH OUT eye contact or words
    2. Teaching in a calm time how to ask for attention in an appropriate way
    3. Logical consequences – finish your phone call in the bathroom with the door closed.

ACTIVITY:

  • Find ONE time today when your child starts to misbehave, when you stop to ask yourself:
    • “HOW AM I FEELING”

JOURNAL PROMPT:

  • Write down your answer to how you were feeling as well as the misbehavior / stimulus that occurred.
  • Hypothesize which category of misbehavior your child may be in (You WON’T have all the answers yet, this is just a guess right now.)

BONUS : If you think they are seeking ATTENTION: Try one of the strategies from above in Blue!


WATCH:

Click HERE to watch today’s QUICK 13 min. video tutorial


SUPPORT:

10:30am (PT – California US time) Head to the private challenge facebook group for today’s live 15 min. coaching session & Q/A on this topic. Ask questions, be in community, get supported! (once you’ve registered, you’ll be sent an invite for the private group).


See you back tomorrow for Day #3’s Lesson!

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