New Year Kickoff Challenge – Day 1 (Jan. 28th – Feb. 1st)

by | January 28, 2019 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

New Year Kickoff Challenge – Day 1 (Jan. 28th – Feb. 1st)

by | January 28, 2019 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Ready for our first lesson? Remember these lessons are designed to be SHORT & DIGESTIBLE.

Consuming & finishing ALL 5 LESSONS is your goal that we WILL celebrate together on Friday Feb. 1st!.


HAVING THE RIGHT SHADES ON

Let's talk PARADIGM SHIFTING and how seeing our kids misbehavior as communication is essential to having success with this curriculum.

The work of positive parenting is derived from one incredible mid-century doctor by the name of Rudolph Dreikurs.

Dreikurs was an Austrian psychiatrist and educator who developed a practical method for understanding the purposes of reprehensible (cray cray!) behavior in children and for stimulating cooperative behavior without punishment or reward.

His overall goal was that kids would learn to cooperate reasonably without being penalized or rewarded because they would feel that they are valuable contributors to society and their families.

In essence, helping families understand how to motivate kids to:

  • WANT to cooperate
  • WANT to listen
  • WANT to be kind
  • WANT to be respectful and 
  • WANT to be a valuable, contributing member of society 

NOT because they are forced, bribed or rewarded to do so, but because doing so feels right & is completely in line with their moral compass (their heart!).

Imagine that! Sounds crazy, but trust me, it really does work! Kids WANT to behave well, they really do!


I know many of you are laughing, saying, "Yea right, you haven't met my kid...their "moral compass" is questionable"...ha ha! I get it, I've been there, but stick with me, STICK WITH ME!


Above, my daughter at age 3 when I FIRST learned to shift the way I saw her misbehavior.


In order to shift into this type of mindset (that our kids are capable of being influenced to do the right thing because it's right & they were designed to be loving, magnificent, kind humans) we need to start SEEING their daily actions & behaviors in a whole new light.

Dr. Dreikurs teaches us to see misbehavior as communication and guides us to understand that when kids act out, they are trying to communicate to us that one of their needs isn't being met.

Needs such as:

  • The need to feel loved
  • The need to belong
  • The need to feel valuable
  • The need to feel powerful (yes, I promise this is a healthy need!)
  • The need to feel understood
  • The need to feel safe

These needs are the same in kids as they are in adults. That means that adults, just like kids, have misbehavior when our needs aren't met. (Ever been short with the coffee shop barista, or cut someone off on the freeway, or snapped at your spouse? Yes, we ALL have misbehavior!)

So today, we're starting with just seeing things differently.


The world is often not how it really is, but how we have been conditioned to see it.


So grab your "inspector gadget" costume and throw it on because you're going to need it for the next 5 days as we try to understand what's underneath our kids misbehavior!


ACTIVITY:

Take a break from seeing kids as naughty, selfish or "out to get us" and start seeing them as little ones just trying to figure out this thing we call life.

Start asking yourself:

"What could they be trying to communicate right now" and "What unmet need could I try to help them with?"

  • Journal Prompt
    • Write down 1 time from the day when your child started misbehaving and instead of jumping to "You're just being bad", you asked yourself "What could they be trying to communicate in this moment"?
    • Hypothesize which need your child might not have met, that you can help them with (You WON'T have all the answers yet, this is just a guess right now.)


WATCH:

The 10 min. video tutorial is no longer available since this challenge has ended. Stay tuned for the next FREE FSF Master Class, coming soon!


See you back tomorrow for Day #2's Lesson!

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