New Year Kickoff Challenge – Day 2 (Jan. 28th – Feb. 1st)

by | January 28, 2019 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

New Year Kickoff Challenge – Day 2 (Jan. 28th – Feb. 1st)

by | January 28, 2019 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Hey there {{ subscriber.first_name }},

Ready for our 2nd lesson? Remember these lessons are designed to be SHORT & DIGESTIBLE.

Consuming & finishing ALL 5 LESSONS is your goal that we WILL celebrate together on Friday Feb. 1st.


Communication Tips

So many of you stated in your introduction over on the private challenge facebook group that you are sick & tired of having to tell your kiddos something 10 thousands times before they listen, usually only after you've raised your voice or threatened them in some way.

Uggghhhh, I know that pattern can be so defeating & frustrating {{ subscriber.first_name }}, so let's try some new things out this week when it comes to communication, ok?

I want you all to think of communication as a choice. We are always at choice with how we communicate our expectations, desires & feelings to our kids. Some of the ways we CHOOSE to do it will result in pushback, resistance & feet dragging, other ways will result in our kids' hearts softening & better cooperation.

>>> Ask for what you want, instead of always giving compliance statements.

Often times, we can end up sounding like that teacher from the Charlie Brown cartoons, do you remember her? The kids all heard her as saying "Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah" .... she was talking, but they weren't really digesting what she was saying because she was boring, monotonous & wasn't very good at engaging with them at all!

When we go out into the world each day, we don't head into the grocery store, doctor's office, or preschool office shouting demands right?

Can you imagine how crazy people would think we were if we approached other adults with verbiage like:

  • "Give me 2 pounds of chicken, NOW"
  • "Get behind me in line, I was here first"
  • "Stop making me wait so long, my life is important too"

Ha, pretty sure we'd be asked to leave, or at least get a few dirty looks!

Instead we say things like:

  • "Can I please have 2 pounds of chicken? I'm in a hurry, so can you give me the pre-wrapped package instead of grabbing it fresh from the cooler?"
  • "Pardon me, I think you may have not seen me, I was waiting in line, can I hop back into the place I was waiting?" 
  • "Could you please tell me how much longer the doctor is going to be? I need to pick my kids up at school in a 1/2 hour, could you help me get seen as soon as possible?"

Would you agree that communicating the 2nd way increases our chances of having people cooperate willingly & joyfully with us?

>>> YES!

Asking questions is something strong leaders often do & a great way to engage team members to WANT to cooperate with you. Think about any time you've had a boss who's just told you what to do, vs. the times when you had a boss who kindly asked if you could help support the company team effort in a certain way.

Let's look at how this concept applies with our kids. When replacing compliance statements with questions, using friendly eye contact & loving touch (like your hand on their shoulder while you speak to them) will get you EXTRA cooperation!

Start trying verbiage like this:

  • "Can you please put on your shoes so we can go play at the park?"
    • Instead of "Just get your shoes on already ... why do I have to tell you 50 times to do something, just do what your told."
  • "Would you please help us be a strong team and join me in putting away the legos? I'll grab the small pieces, can you grab the large pieces?"
    • Instead of "Pick up the toys or you're going to go in time out."
  • "Can you please use your inside voice "quiet like a mouse" & wait till your sister is done talking, so Momma doesn't get a headache?"
    • instead of "STOP being so loud, I told you that it is not ok to interrupt others & to be so loud inside".


BONUS POINTS:

>>> Ask a question hinting at what you want your child to do, but don't say what you want.

EXAMPLES:

  • "What do you need to put on your feet so we can take a walk & you don't step on a bee?" 
  • "What do you need to do with your teeth so they don't get furry and filled with cavities?"
  • "How fast do you think we need to hop in the car if our friends are already waiting for us at the park?"
  • "What do you need to do with your homework so you can have 100% playtime over the weekend?"

Asking questions that engage kids' critical thinking skills also helps them feel empowered, which will decrease misbehavior (i.e. pushback, resistance, etc.)


ACTIVITY:

Take a break from giving compliance statements & instead ask for what you want with kindness & firmness. For extra "cooperation points" ask them questions that allow them to use their critical thinking skills & come up with the answer.

**Important, parents, I'm not feeding you magic pills here, this work takes time, please don't expect perfection from your kids, but be willing to take note of the progress you do see.

**Another important note ... I'll be talking about the "17 second rule" in today's live coaching session.. Ask your kids, then walk away for a bit to give them space to respond ... slow down & create the opportunity for them to cooperate!

  • Journal Prompt
    • What is one time today when I successfully asked a question instead of giving a compliance statement?
    • What is one moment today when I was tempted to give an attitude to my kiddo, but instead, checked my tone & asked for what I wanted with a clean, respectful, firm & kind tone?
    • What is one question I asked my kids today that caused them to engage their critical thinking skills & come up with the answer?


WATCH:

The 10 min. video tutorial is no longer available since this challenge has ended. Stay tuned for the next FREE FSF Master Class, coming soon!


See you back tomorrow for Day #3's Lesson!

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