Ever said to a friend, "I KNEW this was going to happen" as your kiddo melts down at an evening open house, or "Seriously? Why do you always act like this in the grocery store?". We all get those gut feelings that maybe we should just stay in tonight, or get the feeling in the parking lot, that it's going to be a dreadful run into target to grab new socks and undies for the kids.
Often, we dismiss this as just annoying aspects of parenting, when actually, these situations can reveal patterns and give us an opportunity to "proactively parent". What is "proactive parenting"? It's simply addressing a situation BEFORE it happens. It involves trusting our gut and avoiding a situation, or making agreements with kids ahead of time when spirits are high and thoughts are logical, then revisiting these agreements when faced with a challenge.
It can look like "We need to grab milk and bread at Trader Joes, but we need to make an agreement about the checkout aisle. I'm ok finding the Lemur and asking for a lollipop, but not begging for gummy candies at the exit aisle, OK? So what is our agreement?" or "We can go outside to scooter as long as we KEEP our shoes on. Should we take our shoes off, we'll need to come inside, OK? So what is our agreement?"
Having these short conversations makes a lot of difference in gaining kids cooperation with small and large tasks in everyday life. Children love to feel valuable and part of the decision making process. And parents LOVE to have kids cooperate more!!
Join me for my next Redirecting Children's Behavior Class starting TOMORROW Oct. 6th (Aspirations School of Learning) or Jan. 15th (Playwerx). Hope to see you there!
Wendy Snyder ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fresh Start Parenting 619-379-9379 FreshStartParentingRCB.com FreshStartParentingRCB@gmail.com
*"Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way!! ~Dr. Seuss"*