There is no doubt that it can be incredibly challenging to keep your cool when your little one(s) is melting down or really having an "off" day. It's incredible easy to get caught up in their emotions and before long, you are also grouchy or feeling sad (or mad), often resulting in blame of our bad day or mood on our kids.
In actuality, our thoughts and feelings are 100% ours. It can SEEM like others MAKE us feel a certain way, when in reality, WE are 100% responsible for our own feelings.
In Redirecting Children's Behavior, we learn a lot about healthy detachment. We practice various ways to do this including the "pause button" and "self-calming". As parents, when we're able to detach our own emotions from our kids feelings and behaviors, we're able to accomplish a lot more from a responsive point of view (think first aid responder), as opposed to a reactive (think volcano) approach. This usually helps our kids receive our guidance with less defensiveness and overall creates successful family problem solving.
Detaching yourself from your child's emotions doesn't mean you don't care, it means you care enough to practice self-control and also trust your child to manage his own emotions. Our little ones might be little, but they are amazing! They have a much greater chance of helping themselves overcome big emotions when we don't hop on board and double up on the sadness, anger, frustration, etc. It takes a lot of practice, but with time (and a strong intention), it gets easier and feels SO good, for both parents and children.
Join me for my next Redirecting Children's Behavior Class starting TOMORROW Oct. 6th (Aspirations School of Learning) or Jan. 15th (Playwerx). Hope to see you there!
Wendy Snyder ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fresh Start Parenting 619-379-9379 FreshStartParentingRCB.com FreshStartParentingRCB@gmail.com
*"Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So...get on your way!! ~Dr. Seuss"*