Is your home feeling more chaotic than cozy? In this episode of The Fresh Start Family Show, Wendy sits down with style expert and home coach Jen Du Bois to talk about how transforming your space can transform your life! Jen brings a fresh perspective as both a professional organizer and former nurse, sharing how a clutter-free, thoughtfully designed home isn’t just about looking good—it’s about creating peace, joy, and a space that truly supports your family’s well-being.

Jen introduces her DREAM framework—a simple yet powerful method to help you declutter and design a home that works for you, not against you. She and Wendy explore why getting organized can feel so hard, how to break through roadblocks, and why trusting your instincts matters when shaping your space. Whether you’re struggling with overflowing closets, an uninspiring home layout, or just don’t know where to start, this episode is packed with encouraging advice and actionable steps to help you create a home that feels functional, fulfilling, and uniquely YOU.

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Episode Highlights:

• The importance of a decluttered and aesthetically pleasing home extends beyond style—it significantly impacts stress levels, creativity, and social interactions.
• Jen’s DREAM framework offers a structured approach to home organization, focusing on uncovering personal desires and setting up efficient systems suitable for each individual’s natural habits.
• Mindful purchasing and using a mood board as a decision filter helps eliminate clutter and fosters intentional style choices aligned with personal aesthetics.
• Addressing roadblocks such as time, fear, and financial constraints is crucial for creating a home environment that feels fulfilling and manageable.
• Refreshing a home can be a gradual, multi-year process, aimed at aligning spaces with financial goals and ensuring a thoughtful, strategic approach to home improvement.

Resources Mentioned:

Follow Jen on Instagram

Jen’s Website

Catch the full episode on YouTube!

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Unable to listen, or prefer to read along? Here’s the transcript!

0:00:02 Wendy: Well, hey there, listeners, and welcome to a new episode of the Fresh Start Family Show. I’m so happy to be here today with Jen Dubois from home with Jen D. Welcome to the show, Jen.

0:00:15 Jen: Thank you for having me, Wendy. I’m really happy to be here.

0:00:18 Wendy: Yeah, I’m really happy to have you too. And I’m kind of wishing I would have like actually gotten dressed in a cute outfit today. I’m in like athletic gear and you are all, you are like one of the style queens. When I look at your stuff, I’m like, dang, girl. I’m like, everything you do house your just your whole style. Like when I first checked you out and learned about your work, I was like, she inspires me.

0:00:42 Jen: You are too kind. My secret is red lipstick. Just whatever, just put on red lipstick and you’re good.

0:00:48 Wendy: I love that tip. I recently did that for like a Christmas party and I look at the pictures and I’m like, dang. There is like a little sass there on top, but I don’t know about red with like an athletic gear outfit, so. But that’s okay. I just, I’m good. I’m gonna just bounce off your inspiration today. But listeners, I’m really excited to have Jen here today because this episode I think is just a fun, refreshing mix up to I think what a lot of our normal content is obviously around kids and families and behavior and all the things.

0:01:20 Wendy: But I, when I first found Jen, I was just really inspired by the conversation she was having around her. Your work as a life coach and your work as a home coach and really how those two things come together and help us understand some of our behaviors, especially when it comes to staying organized and creating a home that’s really beautiful. And as you as I saw you share once we were actually in a business, still are in a business mentorship group together that I just loved. I love that business mentorship with Carrie Perry so much. I love her.

0:01:59 Wendy: But you talk about how staying organized and building a beautiful home that you love begins with honest self reflection. And I saw you speak on like looking at the underlying reasons that have maybe been preventing us from like changing our home environment or keeping it away that makes our body feel calm, our nervous system feel calm, us feel content and happy and be like, I guess good or okay with like our self expression.

0:02:35 Wendy: Right. And so you talked about how you love to without judgment, provide support for people to just explore like how to overcome the things that cause you to like just kind of stay stuck in like either constant. What I took it as constant disorganization or just never creating the home that, like, makes you feel so yummy and relaxed when you’re in it. And as someone who does a million things, as an entrepreneur, I have two teenagers and I love creating a home environment that is lovely and makes me feel good and is organized and all the things. And Jen, I struggle. I struggle. It feels like I’m constantly under, like, I’m just like, under a pile of, like, things that need to be done in the house. And then I do often look at my house and think, oh, I wish. I wish, like, I could just kind of go for it a little bit more with the personal style or. And I mean, my home’s pretty cool.

0:03:35 Wendy: So that’s kind of what drew me to you because I thought this could be a really interesting conversation because one thing I’ve learned this last year that’s been really fascinating is I actually did a money or financial healing and health program that opened up my eyes to, like, how much financial strain of any type, whether it’s limiting beliefs or scarcity, mindset or just suffering within finances. And that’s not just having a low bank account, but, like, all the things that are wrapped around money.

0:04:08 Wendy: Yeah. I realized just how much they affect us in all areas of our life. Our relationships, our marriage, our careers. Like, just our. The way our nervous system runs. And so then when I looked at your stuff, I’m like, man, this is something that, like, our homes are so important. And the way we feel within our home and in addition to the way we feel within our finances. Safe, relaxed, fulfilled, like it really matters. And I bet you I know now that it has a major effect on our parenting and just the way we live life. So that’s what drew me to you. So that’s. We’re going to have a conversation today around really the three reasons why it feels so tough to stay organized or to create a home that really fulfills us.

0:05:03 Wendy: And so we’re going to get into those three points in a minute. But will you start us off, Jen, by just telling us a little bit more about you and what your story is? How did you become a life coach and a home coach? And why are you so passionate about helping people in this area?

0:05:18 Jen: Sure, sure. So I am a nurse working. I was working in a hospital. I was a stressed out nurse working with other stressed out nurses because nursing working in a hospital is very stressful. Right. But what I noticed is that some of my colleagues, they came to work stressed out. Right. I understand being stressed out at the end of your shift. But when you’re coming to work stressed out, I’m thinking there might be something that’s happening outside of work. There’s an opportunity outside of work to support you, you better in terms of your. Your well being.

0:05:50 Jen: So initially I started out on a and a on a journey to create a self care business. I was like, aha. My colleagues are probably lacking good self care practices. So I went exploring and I thought about bubble bats and candles and all these things, but none of them. I wanted something that was sustainable, something that lasted beyond the experience, but nothing would come up for me. I couldn’t figure it out.

0:06:16 Jen: So I really believe in listening. I really believe in listening and getting direction from what I hear, right? So, so I did a brain dump. I was like, okay, I’m gonna take everything that I think I am, all the things that people have told me that I’m good at, the things that, the times when I feel most fulfilled, and I’m gonna dump everything that comes up for me on a paper. So I wrote interior styling, I wrote systems processes, taking care of people, loving people, being efficient, all these random things. And I looked at the paper and I was like, that wasn’t helpful.

0:06:56 Jen: It really didn’t connect. It really didn’t connect. So I kind of just was like, you know what? I tabled it for a little bit and through talking with my friends, I learned of this lady. There’s this lady, she lives in la and they said that something about this lady, her essence, reminds them of me. And when I reached out and I looked this lady up, she was a professional organizer. I was like, what is this thing? Professional organizing, right?

0:07:23 Wendy: Yeah.

0:07:23 Jen: I was like, I’m gonna get a degree in professional organizing. So I went searching to see if what should I major in because I need to get certified. I found that there’s an association that’s called the national association of Productivity and Organizing. That individual, same individual, was the president of the LA chapter. And I was like, I was like, okay, God, I see you. I see you. Yes, I see you.

0:07:50 Jen: Okay, and then so fast forward a little bit. I’m listening to this podcast that I listen to all the time. I know my story is long, but it’s getting somewhere.

0:07:58 Wendy: Please take as long as you want. I love stories. I love people’s personal stories.

0:08:02 Jen: So I, I was listening to this podcast that I’ve been listening to for years and they talked about the pillars of wealth. But holistically, one of the things, one of the pillars is the space pillar. And the podcast host had that same individual on as a guest. And I was like, okay, I got it, I got it.

0:08:24 Wendy: There’s the three. I swear, God always talks to me in three. It’s like, one, two, three, boom. And it’s like, as soon as the third one, I’m like, done. Solidified, right?

0:08:33 Jen: So I got it, I got it. So I reached out to her, and at the time, she was doing a course at the local college in L. A. And I signed up for the course. But then the pandemic happened, so we transferred our relationship to, like, an online coaching type of relationship, and that’s how I started my professional organizing business. I just listened. I listened and this is what I heard. So.

0:08:57 Wendy: And you were in education before too, right? Were you a teacher or what were you doing in education? Because you’re definitely educating people now, so I think it’s cool how God will use, like. I was always a springboard diving coach when I was little. From little, I mean, 13 to the time I was like, 26, I had my own business in Scripps Ranch, San Diego. Jen and I are both San Diego girls. We realized this morning.

0:09:19 Wendy: And it was like I was a coach all those years, right? And then I went into marketing and event planning. But then God brought me back to coaching, you know? So it’s like, what. What did you do in the education space?

0:09:29 Jen: So I’m currently still in education right now. I’m a nursing professor. I’m a nursing professor, so I teach up and coming nurses. Yeah.

0:09:37 Wendy: Oh, that’s amazing. That’s amazing. Very cool. Yeah. Once a teacher, always a teacher, right?

0:09:42 Jen: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

0:09:43 Wendy: Oh, very cool. Well, that’s awesome. And I forget, Jen, are you a parent or no?

0:09:50 Jen: Yeah, I am a parent. I’m a parent of three adult sons. I have a 27 year old, and I have a set of twins that are 22.

0:09:56 Wendy: Oh, twin mama.

0:09:58 Jen: Yeah, all boys. I’m a boy mom.

0:10:01 Wendy: Awesome. And were you blessed really young with this ability to be a style queen? Were you just like, Were your spaces always just rad, like, or is this something you developed? I’m thinking this feels like it’s like a thing you have to have, but I’m thinking you could teach me how to be this. I mean, again, I feel like my home is good, and I do have full style, but good style. But I don’t know, it seems like you’ve got this extra just ability to put things in the right places and you’re just very naturally gifted. Was it always like that for you? Or did you learn this? Did you develop this?

0:10:36 Jen: First of all, Wendy, thank you. Thank you so much like that. You’re making me blush. Truly, you’re making me blush. That’s true. Was I always. And I’ll tell you what, I feel like I was always organized because it just felt good. I didn’t know what it was. It felt good. And it was the way my grandmother showed love. How she made home was her expression of love. Like, home always felt good and what that meant. Our beds were made, everything had a spot.

0:11:10 Jen: So home always felt like love. As it relates to my style, I think I uncovered my style when I started to trust myself. Maybe I wanted to do things, but I was like, that’s kind of out there. I’m not gonna do that. I don’t want to be seen. So when I started to really trust myself, I think that’s when I uncovered my true. My true style. So I’ve always been organized. I may have always been stylish, like you said, but it wasn’t until I trusted myself that I realized my true style. ESS sense. I hope that makes sense.

0:11:48 Wendy: That is so cool. Yes. I feel like I’m on a journey to. To fully listen and fully trust and like tune out or not tune out, but feel, feel, feel through the feeling of fear around what other people think. Like, that’s just such a beautiful part of adulthood. Right. And so how cool that that was part of the journey to just to. To be able to like, fully express yourself and then show up in this. Because, I mean, aura and this light around you that just radiates, like, cool and fresh and just.

0:12:26 Wendy: It’s just really inspiring. So that’s cool. I was thinking you were like the 13 year old who people were like, oh, my gosh. My daughter goes to a high school in Encinitas. It’s called sda. And they are. It’s like the music arts school of our whole area. And sometimes I drop her off and I’m like, oh, my gosh, that kid is so freaking cool. Like, they are just rocking. And there are a lot of times, like, rock and roll kids or like, they’ve got like, just the coolest style. And I’m like, that is so awesome. They are fully owning their style from a young age, you know, and they’re in a school that it is like, really, that’s the norm, you know, like, that’s the norm is to fully express yourself. And, you know, there’s just not.

0:13:08 Wendy: It’s just a really cool place. So awesome. Very, very cool.

0:13:12 Jen: Cool. So there’s a space and it fosters the creativity. I love that. I love that.

0:13:16 Wendy: Yeah. Yeah, totally. Okay, well, let’s get into our talking points. So when it comes to those of us who feel like we really want to have this, like, beautiful, cool. And. And actually, before we even get into, like, why some of us struggle to keep our home organized and beautiful the way we want it, let’s talk about the perks of. Because I think this can feel like, selfish sometimes. Like, oh, I’m gonna hire an organizer or, you know, have an interior designer help me or something, or invest time into doing this or money into building out. Like, but what are the perks, Jen, of really having a space that is clear of clutter and beautiful, where it just lights you up? And I feel this feeling every single time I walk into a hotel that I love.

0:14:11 Wendy: And I mean, I purposely. I mean, a lot of times we’ll stay on points at places if we travel for our kids sports or something. But, like, when Terry and I go have date nights, like, I don’t want to stay in this. I want to stay in the place that is really inspirational as far as design. And I always am very observant of my body and my energy because it just feels so good and relaxing and like, I feel like my spirit is energized and I’m more optimistic. So, like, is there any science that you have or anything to say about, like, why this is a great area to even care about for?

0:14:48 Jen: Sure. You. You covered pretty much a lot of the benefits of living in a space that’s organized and feels good. So in terms of the science. So things carry energy. Everything that we own has a weight to it. Right. And it’s essentially talking to you.

0:15:10 Wendy: Yeah.

0:15:10 Jen: You’re aware of its, of its conversation consciously or subconsciously, but it’s essentially talking to you. Right.

0:15:17 Wendy: It’s true. Yeah, I can see that.

0:15:19 Jen: So imagine that there’s a constant hum of stress.

0:15:25 Wendy: Just kind of looking at the pile on my daybed right now. There’s like Girl Scout cookies that I’ve purchased for, like, my weekend event in a week and a half. And there’s like piles of a pile paper per. Oh, my goodness, please give me the miracle pill to get out of that. There’s like a three hole binder puncher. My bible. Like, it’s just a pile. Essential oils.

0:15:47 Jen: Yes.

0:15:47 Wendy: And I’m like, I’ll get to that later.

0:15:49 Jen: But it’s.

0:15:50 Wendy: I. I can tell it. I thought many times this morning, and this brings me stress, but I didn’t quite have time to deal with it yet. So this is accurate. Yeah.

0:15:59 Jen: So. So what you did just know you would. You’re being distracted to some degree.

0:16:04 Wendy: Yeah.

0:16:05 Jen: Like these visual reminders of a to do list of things that you were to do, you’re supposed to do. Remember, Wendy, you didn’t do it. Remember, Wendy, you didn’t do it. Remember when you didn’t do it? So living in a decluttered, organized, streamline and beautiful home helps you essentially manage your stress. That’s first and foremost. Right. It also gives you the space to process life. I was sick the other day for like a week and a half.

0:16:33 Jen: Right. I was in an environment that felt good, it looked good. So I had all of my energy could be used towards getting better. Rather than I’m laying in bed, oh my gosh, there’s a pile of papers, oh my gosh, I’m laying in bed, oh my gosh. There’s this other thing that I need to do. So it gives you the space to just live and process life and do the things, all the things related to life. Right? Yeah, it also, you mentioned it too. It also gives you the space, allows you the space to be creative, to be inspired. Like when you go to that hotel, there’s not a lot of visual chatter.

0:17:13 Jen: So you’re like, ah, okay. So you’re. You have the space to breathe and feel inspired, right?

0:17:23 Wendy: Yeah. Yes.

0:17:25 Jen: Another thing that being organized does, it really helps you to be more social. I have clients that they don’t. They don’t invite people over to their homes because they’re embarrassed or if they do invite people over, the anticipation and the anxiety in terms of preparing for that person takes away from the experience.

0:17:47 Wendy: Right. That’s me. And I do invite people over, but that is like it. I. The anxiety and the stress of someone coming over it and it’s like, again, my house isn’t like awful, but it feels like it’s never always ready. Like it’s not. Not always set and ready. It’s like it stacks up fast. But yes, I, I so relate to that anxiety. I just got like into a bickering. I mean, I was in a really low funk anyways.

0:18:14 Wendy: Like, I had like a really low a week and a half ago and that’s just normal. Sometimes it happens. But I was very like snappy with my husband because his mom was going to come over super bowl and I didn’t realize it. So this is spot on. Yes.

0:18:29 Jen: I want to say something. So being organized does not mean your house is always tidy. My house is not always tidy. What it does, it creates the infrastructure. So a structure so that it is easily tidied. Does that make sense?

0:18:43 Wendy: Yeah, that helps. Yeah.

0:18:45 Jen: We’re living in our homes. Our home should show evidence of life. But the times when we’re ready to clean up and reset, it needs to be an easy process. So everything that we own should have a place for it to go, thereby making the cleaning up part of it easy. So it should be easily tidy, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be tidied all the time.

0:19:04 Wendy: Oh, I love that. Yeah. And then that brings in the decluttering, because when you have just too much crap for the space that you have available to put it away, then that signifies the problem where the decluttering needs to happen. Right.

0:19:19 Jen: Yeah. And I’m sure we’ll talk more about that in a little bit, but. Absolutely. It’s a visual acute. You. You’re at enough. So now it’s time to pause and edit.

0:19:30 Wendy: I love that. Yeah. So I think what we were just talking about. And let’s. Let’s just hear you riff on our first point. If, like, when we. When we’re looking at the real reason we have trouble keeping our home organized and beautiful, you know, is it because a lot of us maybe don’t have the vision really strong? So our first point is, like, knowing how we really want our home to look, feel, and function is. Is one of the problems is because we don’t. Are we’re not in touch with that. Like, do we need vision boards and Pinterest?

0:19:59 Wendy: What do we need?

0:19:59 Jen: Okay. Okay. So here’s what I noticed with my clients. My clients are really good at telling me how they want their spaces to feel.

0:20:06 Wendy: Yeah.

0:20:07 Jen: They’re good at telling me, I want it to feel cozy, clear, good. They’re really good. Where the disconnect comes is they don’t know how they want it to look and how it should function. Because. And you mentioned Pinterest. Most of the clients that I have, they have an inkling that they want to make changes to their home. So what they do, they go out and start looking for inspiration.

0:20:30 Wendy: Yeah.

0:20:31 Jen: And they pin all the things, and they find all the things, and they look for all the things and Instagram and social media. And then they get to a place where they can’t discern what they want versus what they’re being told they should want because this color is trending or this design aesthetic is trending or this organizing technique is trending. So you’re like, I want that. I think I want that. So there’s all these messages coming in so you can’t settle and understand and discern what of all the things I think I want really comes from me versus what’s coming from external influences.

0:21:08 Jen: So that’s one thing. We’re just overloaded by the potential and potential and possibilities that we are frozen in indecision because we can’t on Monday. We like pink walls because that’s trending, but then we want rainbow colored books because it’s just too much. So that’s one thing for sure.

0:21:30 Wendy: Yeah. And so as far as like getting in touch with how we want our home to look, feel and function, like you said, the feeling is easier to pinpoint and then the function is easier to pinpoint. I feel like, like it’s, it’s kind of easy for my brain to think. Yeah, I want to have everything, have a place like you said, be able to tidy fast and great, wonderful and then. But the look is the hardest one.

0:22:02 Wendy: And so that’s where I imagine, like it really helps to have a mentor and that someone to guide you to like create the look. Right?

0:22:12 Jen: Yeah. Yeah. So I do have a framework and the first step in my framework, it’s called the dream method. And the first step is desire. Forget the noise, let’s talk. Wendy, you’re me. What is it you desire from your home? Absence of influences, just to your core. What is it you desire for your home? What is it you desire for your life? And be very aspirational. Think, don’t. With no restrictions. Right?

0:22:44 Jen: Start from within, because what you’re doing, you are uncovering without influence what you, what you truly want? When you start with those questions, what is it you want for your space? Generally, what is it you want for your space? Specifically, what are some goals you want to accomplish in life? You want. Do you want to run a marathon? Do you want to travel more? Do you want to lose weight, gain weight right now? How do you want your space to support those goals?

0:23:19 Wendy: Right.

0:23:19 Jen: You want to run a marathon. How do you want your space to support you in being able to run a marathon by the end of June? What needs to happen in your space? Right? You want to entertain more for the holidays coming up? What needs to happen this year so you feel comfortable and proud to invite people over to your home for the holidays in December? So it starts with you. It starts with what you want and what you want and what your family wants.

0:23:52 Jen: So those are the desires we have to uncover. The desires absolutely have to uncover the desires first.

0:23:58 Wendy: Okay.

0:23:59 Jen: Okay.

0:24:00 Wendy: Just. Yep.

0:24:01 Jen: All right. I guess I can just go into my framework. Is that okay?

0:24:06 Wendy: Yeah, let’s do it.

0:24:07 Jen: Yeah.

0:24:08 Wendy: Now I’m. I’m so curious. I’m like, what’s R? What’s R?

0:24:12 Jen: So R is roadblocks. All right, so you tell me you want all these things, so why. Why don’t you have them? Not in with judgment, just with curiosity. Why don’t you have them? Right? And then we start to uncover the reasons why. It could be because you don’t have time, you’re over committed. Is it because you acquire more than you have space to comfortably manage? Right. Is it because you’re not able to make a decision with regard to how to edit and get rid of items? Like, what is getting in the way?

0:24:54 Jen: So, yeah, you told me what you want, but, yeah, so why don’t you have it? What’s been getting in the way? Let’s explore that.

0:25:01 Wendy: Yeah. My mind goes to, like, definitely time. Time is the number one thing. Fear and money. So, like, like, I was like, you know, part of my, like, financial healing program is like, I. I. For so long, I feel like I was numbing emotions with just, like, the Target run. And I was like, if I was just like, oh, my gosh, it’s tough to be an entrepreneur. And I’m just gonna go to Magn, get a new pillow and a rug, you know, because Target is right next to my house and that darn magnolia section. I’m just.

0:25:31 Wendy: My kids know, like, it’s so fun. They’re at the age now where they actually use their own money to buy me Christmas presents, and they always get me magnolia stuff. But it’s like, yeah, it’s interesting because it’s like, I’ll see. Like, oh, the house would be better, right? Like, if we had, like, I ran, like, I was looking at your Instagram this morning, and I was like, oh, my gosh, your silverware drawer is so beautiful.

0:25:55 Wendy: And I want that bamboo organizer because I could just feel my nervous system relax when I looked at your silverware versus my silverware, and I was like, crap. But then it’s like, okay, like, sorry. As roadblocks go, it’s like, you know, financially, like, do you really need that or do you not? Right? So it’s like, confusion. It’s a little bit of confusion now of, like, the. The financial healing program I did is, like, really been stacking my personal bank account because I’ve learned to, like, not just endlessly shop anymore.

0:26:28 Jen: Yes.

0:26:28 Wendy: So I think maybe the the cure there is like, is mindful. Mindful shopping would be smart. Like, I have some guests coming in. Staff is coming in next weekend for in person freedom to be workshop. And so I was like, you know what? I’m feeling good about heading down to Target and maybe getting some new things, but so financial and then fear definitely around the editing. Like, you know, just, am I going to need that in the future if I get rid of it? Like, you know, I’m looking at like all these games that we have right now.

0:26:59 Wendy: Like, we don’t play the games, but what if one day, Jen, the teenagers come over and they want to play Clue? The office that I’m looking at right now, it’s like, how do we. I mean, I think this whole episode is just going to probably turn into your framework. But like, how the heck, like what, As a life coach, like, this is what’s so fascinating to me. What do you bring in to help us with this kind of stuff?

0:27:26 Wendy: And then time, time for me, last one is always like, this is just a joke. God, I’m like, God, what is happening? And I know when my kids go to college and you can speak to this since you’re an empty nester, but like, I know there’s going to be so much time. But right now it’s just, it’s comedic. Like, comedic. How little time there is to be an entrepreneur. Keep the house the way I want it. So what do you have to say to speak to those and especially with your life coaching side of work.

0:27:53 Jen: Okay, so, so I, we approach it holistically. All right, so for example, you talked about the game, right?

0:28:03 Wendy: Yeah, I see it right now.

0:28:05 Jen: Games might be important to your family culture, so that allows it a higher rank over like say a basket. Let’s just, just, just, just, just, just play with me. All right, let’s go back to your desires. We always start with the desires. What experiences and our desires? There’s tons of questions I can ask to help uncover your desires. One of them could be, what experiences do you want to have with your family in your home?

0:28:34 Jen: And then you’re going to list all the things that you enjoy, whether it be game night, cookie making, movie night, on the sofa, whatever it is. We’re gonna write that out even if.

0:28:48 Wendy: It’S not happening now. Like something that you would desire. Because it’s just desires.

0:28:52 Jen: It’s just a desire. Yeah, right, right. So we’ve uncovered, let’s say game night now we’re gonna go to the E, the edit. We’re gonna go through every item and identify and see if it aligns with your desires. So we have the board game. Does it align with how you want to experience living in your home with your family?

0:29:16 Wendy: Right, right, right. Yes. But these darn teenagers are, like always so busy and they’re like, mom, let’s just watch a movie.

0:29:24 Jen: Okay, so it’s like a little bit of. Yeah.

0:29:26 Wendy: Okay, good. Keep going. Coach me off the ledge.

0:29:30 Jen: That’s the professor in me. That just came out.

0:29:33 Wendy: Good. I like it. I like Professor Jen.

0:29:36 Jen: The edit. There will be several rounds.

0:29:38 Wendy: Okay. Yeah.

0:29:40 Jen: Okay. So you’re gonna say, okay, the game potentially stays because it supports my desire for experiencing game night with my family. Let’s go back to desire. When we uncover desires, we’re uncovering desires for everyone in the household. So if, say, for example, everyone gets a vote, you’re the only one that’s voting for the desire to have game night. Then you have to make a decision. Is it truly a family desire and is it worth structuring your home around it?

0:30:17 Wendy: Yeah. And giving one 18. I have 18 cubes here or something like that. Maybe 12. Giving a whole cube to these games that we never play. I like that question.

0:30:28 Jen: Exactly. So then again, we’ll just edit relative to the desires. And the desires can be. Like I said, we can. There’s lots of questions we can ask to uncover the desires. But what it essentially serves as is your decision filter. As you’re editing, you’re like, does this support my desire? Does this support my desire? And then you’re deciding not only with things you talked about. Time, your calendar. Does this commitment support my desire?

0:31:02 Jen: Does me being the person that brings. Because I was, my family, played basketball, I’m a sports mom.

0:31:11 Wendy: Yeah.

0:31:12 Jen: Does me being the person that brings snacks to every game support my desire? Whatever was uncovered in the D. So you’re. You’re editing things. Commitment, potentially. Relationships, mindset, habits. Anything that does not. Anything. Experience behavior that doesn’t support your D. Got it. Thinking about these potentially need to go. Right.

0:31:45 Wendy: I love it. Yeah.

0:31:46 Jen: Okay, so we still do framework. We’re still doing.

0:31:50 Wendy: So. Yeah. We got D, R, E. Let’s go to A. Let’s do it.

0:31:55 Jen: A is AD.

0:31:57 Wendy: Oh, this is fun. This is where I get to shop.

0:32:00 Jen: Maybe not. No, maybe not. Maybe not. Okay. Now, relative to your everything, the desire is the north Star.

0:32:09 Wendy: Okay. So far in my desire, I’ve got light filled, lots of plants, yellow. Travel more. We want to travel the world with our kids more. Every night we say it at dinner. We want to Go to Ireland again. We want to go to Fiji. And then I would like to entertain more, but with relaxation. That’s what I have so far on my desires.

0:32:29 Jen: All right. This is so good. So good. So when we’re looking at adding, we’re also considering roadblocks.

0:32:36 Wendy: Okay.

0:32:37 Jen: Because we’re adding organizational system systems to, like, say, for example, we determined that it’s important to multiple. For multiple people in your family to have game night. So through our editing process, we’re going to keep potentially all of the games. Let’s just start there. Right. What organizational system do we need to invite in or repurpose that’s already existing within the space to house all of our games?

0:33:08 Jen: That makes sense. And it works for the potential for the space that we have. Does that make sense? So you’re adding organizational systems.

0:33:17 Wendy: Okay.

0:33:18 Jen: You’re adding the habit of editing. Every holiday, you’re going to look at your games and any game that you didn’t reach for in the previous year should go. Okay. That’s a hot. That’s a habit.

0:33:32 Wendy: Yeah.

0:33:32 Jen: Actually a system. A part. A habitless system.

0:33:35 Wendy: Yeah.

0:33:35 Jen: Right. Okay. Time. We don’t have time to play games. What time commitment can I release so that I can add game night into our family experience at least once a month? So that works.

0:33:54 Wendy: Yeah.

0:33:55 Jen: So you edit any. Any commitments that really don’t support your desires, and in the ad, you’re going to add that time commitment to something that does support your desires.

0:34:10 Wendy: Yeah, that makes sense.

0:34:11 Jen: So now we have. Let’s. We’re still with the game night. We determined that the family likes game night.

0:34:17 Wendy: And honestly, let’s go with they don’t. I’m gonna get rid of these damn games.

0:34:22 Jen: It’s.

0:34:22 Wendy: I’m looking, I’m like, they don’t. They don’t. Every time I made them do it in the last few years, they don’t. So it’s like my dream. It’s.

0:34:29 Jen: It.

0:34:29 Wendy: I’m ready to get rid of them. So we’re gonna go with they don’t.

0:34:31 Jen: So they don’t. Okay. Let’s just think of. Let’s just say cookies. Making bacon.

0:34:36 Wendy: Yes. Okay. Baking. That is one. Let’s do baking.

0:34:39 Jen: Let’s do baking. Let’s just do baking. Let’s. Let’s do baking. Okay. So we determine. We like to have once a month.

0:34:47 Wendy: Yeah.

0:34:48 Jen: Time to bake. Right. What do we need to add to make that happen? Do we have all of the baking supplies that we need? Do we have the ingredients? Do we have the pretty apron that me and my daughter like, like to wear or whatever, you know, whatever, whatever for the experience that you want, you’re going to add those things with intention. So it’s a mindful. Either repurposing whatever is existing within the home or mindful purchasing because you’re going to target.

0:35:26 Jen: I don’t think the magnolia section have aprons, but they do have pretty mixing bowls.

0:35:31 Wendy: They might. Yes, yes. And the canisters. So like I’m thinking of my baking area and I’m gluten free, dairy free, soy free. So I’m just a big pain in the butt. But. And when we bake, sometimes Stella and her buddies just love to like go for it. Right. And then other times I’m like, let’s just do something that mama can eat too. Because I love sugar. But when I think about that area, I get all these supplies which are like a lot of supplies I have to have for my type of baking.

0:35:55 Wendy: But it’s like all thrown up there and when I look at it, I feel overwhelmed. So as mindful adding would be like canister that feel a little frivolous, but they are a mindful purchase because they increase the desire or they increase the relaxation to like, like I would feel relaxed if I looked up there and it was like gluten free flour was labeled and it was organized. I see how that’s supporting the desire.

0:36:24 Jen: Yeah. So you’re enhancing the experience of something that you desire and you’re bringing in some style. You’re doing anything, you’re bringing in the organizing system and you’re elevating the experience with style because why not? It is something that is really important to your family’s culture. So you’re going to create that rich, juicy, feel good experience. So you’re adding those things. Okay.

0:36:53 Wendy: I love this way of thinking of it because sometimes I just have guilt around doing that. Like I just bought some new doterra oil cleaning supplies and I just loved it because it was all nicely on these like blocks, these trays that sit behind my sink. And I was just feeling like if it would add to the experience. And like my desire is just to be able to clean up quickly and like have everything there and they’ll like. But I was kind of feeling a little guilty.

0:37:22 Wendy: Like this is an unnecessary purchase because I could just get the method cleaners that go beneath the sink and even though it’s messy, it’s like it’s fine. But this is helping me to feel like more settled in my body. That that’s actually a mindful Purchase that supports the desire to keep the house nice and tidy and clean.

0:37:40 Jen: Mm. And you’re also marrying it with your financial desire. So you’re going to balance and your days can go beyond just organizing and styling your home. Right. You’re like, okay, here’s this thing I want to purchase. It is more costly. What can I edit take away to create the space to add this thing that means so much to me.

0:38:05 Wendy: Fantastic. Yeah.

0:38:06 Jen: Okay. All right. And then the M is maintain. Now for maintain, we’re going to go back to your roadblocks, because right now your bacon area is with no judgment. I’m just going to say this. It’s cluttered.

0:38:20 Wendy: Yep.

0:38:21 Jen: And when you come home from the grocery store, you’re probably just putting things away. Yep.

0:38:27 Wendy: I literally, I literally chuck them up there because I can’t reach it and I’m like, I don’t got time to get out the step stool. So I chuck the gluten free flour up to the top and it lay. If it lands in a place that it’s not going to fall out, I’m like, good. Success. Just being honest here. No judgment, right, John?

0:38:44 Jen: There’s no judgment.

0:38:46 Wendy: Yeah.

0:38:46 Jen: We’re going to back. Go back to add. So with adding, we’re going to create a better system or space or zone within your home for your baking cabinet. Because clearly you playing basketball with your baking supplies, I don’t think it’s working. So we’re going to. We’re going to add a different system. Okay. When we say system, we’re talking about a place for all of your baking supplies to live. A zone.

0:39:13 Jen: So that could be a part of your ad.

0:39:15 Wendy: Yeah, I love it. That excites me.

0:39:17 Jen: Yay. So now we’re at M. Now you have this beautiful baking cabinet with all the magnolia goodness. Everything’s labeled, the pretty spoons, measuring cups, everything. How are you going to maintain this space? We’re going to go back to your roadblocks and we’re going to remember, and I say this again without judgment, remember who Wendy is. Wendy’s a beautiful person with beautiful natural habits. And we’re gonna build our system for maintenance around who Wendy naturally is.

0:39:51 Jen: Okay. So whether it be when you come home from the grocery store, you’re not gonna have time to decant. You’re probably just gonna put items in the baking cabinet in their original packaging. However, every first Saturday of the month, you’re going to do a baking cabinet reset. Like say, for example.

0:40:13 Wendy: Yeah.

0:40:14 Jen: And you’re going to go in and you’re going to intentionally take the flour, whatever it is, from its original packaging, put it in the decanted container. You know, things like that. We don’t know if that’s exactly what’s going to work for you, but with the maintenance, we’re going to go back to the R to see where we’re starting and that we’re gonna build systems around who you naturally are. Does that make sense?

0:40:38 Wendy: Yeah, it does. And, like, I’ve always. I’ve been saying lately how I would love. I am, like, far from executing a full Sabbath day, but I want that. That’s a huge desire for me to, like, be off the device. As an entrepreneur, I kind of work 24 7, so, like, to really create the habit of Sundays, or for, like, meal prepping and just enjoying being in the kitchen and, like, mindlessly watching my little Netflix shows.

0:41:05 Wendy: Working. That is something that really appeals to me. And that being every Sunday, that would be like, this is important to me because we spend so much time in the kitchen, and especially as someone with so much dietary restrictions and stuff, it’s just. It makes it so much easier when there is a rhythm. But I’m just not in that rhythm yet of, like, making sure that whole space is set for the week. So I could see Sundays being, like, a weekly rhythm.

0:41:36 Jen: Yes.

0:41:36 Wendy: And I don’t think that’s work. I think that that would be really enjoyable. It’s something that I would love to do more.

0:41:41 Jen: Yeah. And then you’ll have pretty canisters.

0:41:43 Wendy: Yeah.

0:41:44 Jen: It’ll be a beautiful. It’ll be a beautiful experience. You can play music. You could just make it a whole thing.

0:41:50 Wendy: Oh, yes. Okay. I’m so inspired. I love all that. So. Wow. The dream framework. I’ve heard. I read a lot of, like, decluttering books and. And a lot of things, and this is a really cool way to see it, Jen, and to look at it, and very doable and helpful. So I love that. And we really, like, went over all of the. The other areas. That was, like, in our. We did in our. Yeah, yeah. Trying to think here. In what way? So number two was, in what way should this space support your goals? We talked about that. And then number three, and what steps are required to bring your vision to life? And we talked.

0:42:30 Wendy: So let me ask you this, though. Like, how do we get the style piece? Because I like. I really, like, want your house. Right. Like, Stella and I. One of my things is we love to do. And I would. This is a desire. I would like to do more of this with Stella. She’s 16 now, and we love it when we drive around and see open house signs, especially with, like, new communities where it’s, like, all styled out.

0:42:57 Wendy: I just love. I love good style. Right. So, like, how do we bring that piece in? Because all the organizing and systems and stuff, but, like, then how do we get the style? Because I want your style, Jen. Or like is the answer. You just got to hire you to come put all this stuff in my house.

0:43:13 Jen: First of all, you want your style, and it’s the same thing in your desires. We talked about look, feel, function on the look piece. We talked about yellow. Right. So you. Yeah, same thing. Why? So going back to desires, what aesthetic experience do you want to have in your home? What do you want it to look like? What are the fabrics? What are the fabrics feel like?

0:43:44 Wendy: Right, okay.

0:43:46 Jen: Those are your desires. What are the roadblocks? Why don’t you have these things right now? Right. All right. We’re going to edit. Anything in your home that exists right now that does not support that style or that aesthetic vision you have will need to go because you’re making space. Add the elements that do. Okay.

0:44:14 Wendy: Yeah.

0:44:14 Jen: So that’s.

0:44:15 Wendy: That can be something that just happens over time if you stay at it. So, like, so. So for me, it’s like, it’s, like, very beach, so it’s like, lots of light. Like, light yellow, white. It’s very similar to, like, my brand aesthetic. Let’s say that you would see on Instagram, like, you know, like, light, bright beach, sand, blue, yellow, like organic cotton materials.

0:44:43 Jen: I love it.

0:44:45 Wendy: Yes. You’re like, oh, let me come over, Jen. Do it for me. And then. But, like, I instantly thought of, like, oh, and then I’ve got this water cooler in the corner that’s like, not that aesthetic. Right. So it’s like. And I live in. Because of San Diego, we live in a small home. When you live at the beach, it’s like, it’s a small home. So you can’t, like, put the water cooler in, like, a pantry. We don’t have a pantry.

0:45:05 Wendy: So then I get, like, a little hung up. But then I was thinking, just maybe there’s a way. Oh, I don’t know what you would do with that. Maybe something like that. You just. What do I do with that, Jen? Okay, it’s a sticky question, but you.

0:45:17 Jen: Just clearly explained your desire for how you want your space to look. You want it to look beachy, but more of, like a glowy west coast beachy with the sun rays, with. So now you have it’s kind of like a shopping list. You’ve now listed all the specific elements you want in your space. Where you begin is now you can then go to Pinterest. You can go to Pinterest and sort source images that align with all those descriptive words that you just shared.

0:45:52 Wendy: Yep.

0:45:53 Jen: So you find images, and when you find an image. No more than 10. When you find an image, pause and ask yourself, why did I select this image? Right. And does it align with my desire? Right.

0:46:08 Wendy: I love that. Yeah.

0:46:09 Jen: You select these images, and then you create a mood board.

0:46:14 Wendy: Okay.

0:46:14 Jen: And you label it. Let’s say family room.

0:46:18 Wendy: Yep.

0:46:18 Jen: And as you go out to find elements to add to your family room, you use your mood board as your decision filter. I see. And then you have to trust yourself. What you want. You may not see it specifically on Pinterest. What you want might be termed out of style, not trending. What you want might be criticized by certain segment of the fashion or the home interior community. It does not matter. Trust yourself.

0:46:55 Jen: Use your vision board as a decision filter and start adding elements to your home that support that. And again, the elements that you’re adding not are not only supporting your aesthetic preference, but it’s also supporting movie night, for example. Let’s pick a room that you want to work on. Living room. Okay. Living room.

0:47:22 Wendy: Which is combined because we have an open floor space. So it’s like living room and the kitchen and the water cooler in the corner that has really nice cold and hot water. That’s not, like, aesthetically pleasing. It’s all in the same space.

0:47:33 Jen: So it’s a general family area. So general family area. These are the activities that we desire to have in a general family area. These are the esthetic elements we desire to experience within the general family area. So when I go shopping and I see a sofa, does this sofa support the activities that I want to have in my general family area? Does this sofa support the aesthetic experience I want to have in my general family area?

0:48:02 Jen: Does this sofa support the way I want us to function within the space in our general family area? You’re always going, your D is your decision filter. Does that make sense?

0:48:14 Wendy: Yes. I love that. That’s the driver.

0:48:17 Jen: Yeah. Water cooler you want to have. You want to ensure that water is easy accessible for your family because hydration is important.

0:48:27 Wendy: Yeah.

0:48:27 Jen: So it that it met one D. But it doesn’t meet the aesthetic. Aesthetic experience. D. So now need to go out and mindfully, mindfully find a water cooler that aligns with your aesthetic desires and not Feel guilty about it.

0:48:42 Wendy: And do they exist?

0:48:45 Jen: You can search. Lots of things exist. If they don’t exist, then you get creative. You just get creative. Do you. Can you get a smaller one and put it behind a cabinet? Or could you. There’s so many. You can just get creative. Just get creative. But at least you know now that you’re shopping for what type of water cooler you’re shopping. Go ahead.

0:49:06 Wendy: I was gonna say my entrepreneur mind is going off on, like, how you could create, like, little wraps or something to make these water coolers look better. That’s. That’s a. Like. Yeah, my entrepreneur mind is never. Never sleeps. Never sleeps. Jen.

0:49:20 Jen: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But do you see how that makes shopping you. So now you’re more. You’re more of a mindful shopper. So you can go to Target because you know you’re going to Target with. And Target doesn’t sell water coolers. Just. Just imagine. Yeah, you’re going to Target with the intention of purchasing a beautiful wall or cooler that gives you the vibe as if you’re on the beach. Let’s just say generally, yeah, you’re not just randomly banned because what happens.

0:49:45 Jen: And we didn’t talk about this and think it’s important to talk about this when you’re not clearing your desire, you’re going to buy a random water cooler, you’re not going to like it, you’re going to chuck it in the garage, it becomes cluttered. Then you’re going to buy another water water cooler. You’re not going to like that when you’re going to chuck it in the garage and it becomes cluttered, clutter. And then you’re compromising your financial goals and your space goals when you do that. That’s why it’s important to get clear on your d desires before you go out and purchase, because you’re being more intentional, more mindful, and it’s less likely for that thing to end up being clutter.

0:50:18 Wendy: I love that. Okay, my last question as we wrap is talk to me about, like, I. Obviously, my company is called Fresh Start Family. Like, yeah, I wish. Sometimes I wish it’s never going to happen because we have the best mortgage in the world and we love, like, not being overstretched. So we’re. We’re not going to just go buy a new house right now. But I have this feeling of, like, man, wouldn’t that be so nice if there was just empty drawers and empty space? And then I look at my home and I’m like, well, I could just do one thing At a time over like say two years to like completely refresh the house, like talk, help me feel good about that, like that that matters. Right. Like if we had a two year goal to like really lean into this goal of like creating a space that felt better with all the things we’ve talked about where it’s. You have the organizational systems and you have the style that really, you feel awesome about self expression and all the things that bring joy.

0:51:19 Wendy: But like having a two year goal, that’s like, that’s good. Right. Like that. Because again, I’m never gonna move. So but the overwhelm and then I just don’t do it because I’m like, well if, if I just get, I want to get it all right now. Like I want new pillows, I want new blinds, I want a new table. That’s more like all the things. Does that question make sense to wrap?

0:51:39 Jen: It does. It does make sense. Okay. And I’m going to take you right back to your D. What is your D as it relates to your finances? Which would support why it’s important to do it? Pretty. I’m thinking over two years.

0:51:54 Wendy: Yes.

0:51:55 Jen: What is your D as it relates to your home? Once you’re clear and you have a plan, it takes away the decision making because that’s your decision filter. The guilt comes with the ongoing need to make a decision. So rather than making a decision, you default to what you’ve already determined to be the plan. Does it make sense?

0:52:20 Wendy: Yes.

0:52:20 Jen: And you just, you’re just knowing execution.

0:52:23 Wendy: Yeah.

0:52:24 Jen: So you’re not faced with having to make all these decisions would then get you into a space of feeling guilty for making the wrong decision. Did I answer your question properly?

0:52:35 Wendy: I love it. And, and yeah, that. I think that would give me a lot of guidance if we’re now having weekly financial dates, my husband and I, and so if we, if I was like, hey, over the next two years, like I’d love to upgrade our home. And so we don’t have that random chair anymore in our bedroom that like.

0:52:54 Jen: Yes.

0:52:55 Wendy: I curse it every time I walk by. Like, it’s so interesting how you talked earlier about the things talk to you. I’m like, man, but yet, you know, but when you have a plan, like this month I’m gonna do some pillows. Next month we’re gonna do cushions for the chairs. Like, and then maybe just it wouldn’t that hard to create like a two year plan of like slowly over time. And then you have the full refresh. And so it’s the answer is it’s not, it’s not crazy to have like a two year plan.

0:53:22 Jen: It’s not crazy. And if you do the work and the D and the desire, you can default to your plan and know that I’ve already determined that this is going to be a two year plan. I’m already determined that once a month I’ll buy one thing.

0:53:37 Wendy: Yeah.

0:53:37 Jen: So there’s no guilt. You’re just now executing the plan. Does that feel better? That does.

0:53:43 Wendy: It feels so good. And, and then you do have times when you’re like, no, I’d love to just make an investment and you know, and just have this be something that we do the full refresh. So with that said, Jen, please let listeners know where they can come find you if they are like either maybe moving into a new space or feeling like it’s time that they want to do a total refresh or maybe it is just their garage or their living room or their bedroom. Right. Like how can they come find you and work with you? We have listeners all over the world, so I’m, I’m pretty sure you do like online consulting too. Right? But like tell, yeah, tell listeners how they can work with you. Because this, I mean, I’m now going to, if I get a tax return this year, I’m going to be thinking, I don’t know, like maybe, maybe Jen’s on my tax return wish list.

0:54:29 Jen: All right, so, so home with Jen D. You can find me. I have my website, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, Home with Jen D. So there’s different ways to work with me. So you can work with me in what I call an organizer for a day. That is I come into your space and I help you just get started and I leave you with a plan that’ll take you all the way through completion. Okay, so that’s my organizer for a day.

0:54:59 Jen: I also have a service, just standard professional decluttering and organizing services. And that’s really good for people that are going through a transition. They’re not dealing with chronic clutter just because of a change, whether a downsizing or they’re remodeling their home or they’re now empty nesters or they just move, they need help editing and establishing systems. My flagship offer is what I call my dream space program.

0:55:25 Jen: And that’s why I fully employ my dream space method to really get deep, to help you uncover your desires, identify those things that have been getting in the way. We remove anything that doesn’t support your desires and we talk about anything, talking about being over committed clutter Any. Any old decor that you really like, that chair that really you don’t like, that’ll go. And then we decide what needs to come into the space.

0:55:52 Jen: Right. And then we work to establish a system for maintaining it. I work with clients in person or virtually across the country, and I’m actually now serving my first international client in the Bahamas, so.

0:56:04 Wendy: Yes. Yes. Oh, my gosh, Jen. How cool. Well, you are officially on my wish list, and especially because you’re in San Diego. I could scoop you up, girl, and bring you here for a day, and we could have so much fun. And how cool. Well, it’s. It’s like my body just lights up thinking about, like, what this could do for me. And so, listeners, I don’t know if you have that feeling too, but it’s just really interesting to me how again this year, I’ve really just opening my mind and realizing just how much affects us.

0:56:42 Wendy: And, you know, obviously we spend all this time talking about parenting, but we. When we have a more settled nervous system and more joy in our spaces that we spend so much time, it’s just as easier to be calm and compassionate and patient and a firm, kind leader in our home when we feel really, really good in it. So thank you so much for being here. Jen, you are a delight and just such a light in the world, and this has been really, really fun.

0:57:08 Jen: Thank you so much for having me. Wendy. This is. This. I feel like I want to keep talking to you. It was so much fun. I really enjoyed our conversation. This is so fun. Thank you.

0:57:17 Wendy: Great. Thank you.