♪♪ I’ve got the Power! ♪♪
♪♪ I’ve got the Power! ♪♪
… to Prevent Power Struggles in my Home!
Cue the music of that classic ♪ Snap! 1990’s ♪ hit and get excited. Why? ….
Because it’s true! YOU’ve got the power to prevent the amount your kids push back & resist.
But let’s start with some truth dropping:
Showing strong willed kids (aka … power kids or cactus kids) “who’s boss” through external control tactics will only make things worse.
Record scratch … yep, I said it.
Throw the hammer & take the “my way or else” route with these children & life may just become a living hell if you’re raising a strong willed kid (or simply a kid in a power surge stage of life).
Now, don’t panic, I’m not saying we don’t set strong limits & say no often …
… of course we do – we’re practicing positive parenting NOT permissive parenting.
What I am saying is that we if we want our power kids to behave better, we MUST fill up their need to feel powerful on a daily basis.
Because here’s the truth …
When kids are given tons of opportunities to feel powerful inside their home, they DEMAND power less out in the world.
Remember – strong willed kids (or kids who are just in a power surge season of life) are going to push back a lot … it’s part of their natural gift & healthy human development to challenge the status quo, think outside the box & believe deeply in their own voice.
Our job is to teach them HOW to feel powerful in a healthy way … by modeling the same thing to them.
(***don’t forget rad parent raising a spicy one … these kids ARE our next generation of leaders!)
Here’s a few tips to allowing your child to feel powerful. Do these consistently & you’ll start noticing your child pushing back less – promise!
1️⃣ Use choices non stop – every. dang. day!
No, you’re not raising entitled kids by doing this – you’re allowing them to feel powerful consistently which in turn helps them misbehave less. Trust me!
2️⃣ Let your child have the last word when you’re having an argument.
Continuing to teach once things are calm, instead of demand respect in the moment will fill up your child’s need to feel powerful AND put you in a more respected state as teacher later.
3️⃣ Make agreements as often as possible with your kiddo (especially when there’s a pattern of push back).
Shoes always left in the middle of the floor ? Instead of nagging, make an agreement about why putting shoes away is important & then use one word “SHOES (with a friendly smile)” when it’s time to ask for cooperation.
We call this friendly action & it works wonders!
We cover a TON more prevention strategies in our Bonfire Support Program, but these three are a great place to start when you’re just getting started with pouring into your child’s need to feel powerful bucket.
Go give it a go & let me know how it goes!
Want to know what to do when your kids say, “NO, I won’t and you can’t make me…“
These classic power struggle situations (uhh.. picture below look familiar at all??) can trigger us and cause us to dip down into reactive modes that cause us to feel shameful and guilty at the end of the night when we lay our head on our pillow.
Clearly none of us want that.
..but don’t fret. I’m here to help.
I have a free 1 hour parenting workshop that I want to invite you to. Where I’ll teach you 5 positive parenting tips to help gain cooperation and dissolve power struggles with integrity … so you can take a break from relying on fear, force, bribery, and rewards to get your kids to comply (heck yes!).