In this uplifting episode of The Fresh Start Family Show, Wendy chats with Chandni Clough, a dedicated mom and recent graduate of the Full Mastery Become a Parenting Coach Program, about her incredible transformation. Once stuck in cycles of reactive parenting, Chandni shares how learning grace-based, connection-focused tools helped her move from frustration to confidence—not just as a mom, but in her marriage and family relationships, too.
Through candid stories and powerful “aha” moments, Chandni reveals how self-compassion, mindset shifts, and practical strategies reshaped her parenting. Now, she’s using her journey to inspire and support other parents seeking more peace, patience, and joy in their homes. If you’ve ever felt stuck and longed for a fresh start, this episode will remind you that change is possible—and you’re never alone.
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Episode Highlights:
- Positive parenting strategies can significantly shift family dynamics by fostering a deeper understanding and connection between parents and children.
- Personal growth in parenting often stems from the courage to seek guidance and the willingness to shift longstanding perceptions about discipline and communication.
- Chandni emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, understanding that it is crucial for parents to extend kindness to themselves to effectively nurture their children.
- The Full Mastery Become a Parenting Coach Program provides a comprehensive foundation for individuals seeking to enhance their parenting skills, offering a blend of personal insight and actionable strategies.
- Building a vision of familial relationships not only aids parents in staying grounded but also creates a hopeful future for children that is rooted in love and understanding.
Resources Mentioned:
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Unable to listen, or prefer to read along? Here’s the transcript!
0:00:22 Wendy: Hello, families, and welcome to a new episode. I’m so happy you’re here today. We have the honor of chatting with. With my beautiful student. And, gosh, I would probably call you a friend at this point. Chandni. Chandni Clough. Welcome to the show.
0:00:40 Chandni: Thank you, Wendy. I’m so excited to be here today.
0:00:43 Wendy: Yes, we’re so happy to have you here. And today, listeners, families, we are going to just be talking a little bit about Chandni’s experience with studying with me here at Fresh Start Family, and really finding the courage to jump into our full mastery program, which was just such a delight last year, Chandni, to get to personally mentor and Support you through 7 months of time that we got to spend together in. What would that have been? 2024. Right. Like, I feel like we really got to know each other, even on a deeper level than we had as we were studying through the frustrated experience together and as I was mentoring you in that program. But when you stepped up and really decided that you wanted to become more, even more proficient than you already were with the tools and the tactics and the strategies and the mindsets that we study within Fresh Start Family, it was just a really exciting time because I knew that I was in for a treat to be able to spend that extra time with you.
0:01:43 Wendy: So let’s start off with just telling listeners a little bit more about you, how many kids you got, where do you live, and how long now you have been studying with Fresh Start Family, like, from the first time you found us to now.
0:01:57 Chandni: Yeah, absolutely. So, like Wendy said, I’m Chandni Clough. I’ve got two beautiful boys, one who just turned five almost two weeks ago, and one who is turning eight in exactly a month from now. Happily married to the man of my dreams. I’ve known him for 18 years. We’ve been married for 10, and we live in a suburb of Chicago. And thankfully, we’re around all of our family and all of our friends. So very grateful to be here.
0:02:24 Chandni: And I actually started my journey with Fresh Start Family, actually on the podcast. I was so excited to be on the podcast today because this is where I learned about positive parenting and the Fresh Start Experience. And that’s what started my journey. And I was actually looking back to, well, when did I start my journey here? And I think it was back in 2020, the late 2020, early 2021. And I officially became a member of the Fresh start experience in 2022. And it feels like it’s been forever because of the changes that I’ve made. So it was just so overwhelming for me to just see the amount of changes I’ve made in what feels like such a short period of time, four to five years, but it feels like it’s been so much longer.
0:03:04 Wendy: So cool. And gosh, 2020, I feel like that must have been. I don’t even know when we started this podcast, but it must have been around that time. Do you remember how you heard about the Fresh Start family show? Do you remember someone mentioning it or.
0:03:18 Chandni: It was honestly a Google search. And I remember because this was shortly after my little guy was born and I had my, at that time, three year running around and I was just, I was floored and I felt lost and I didn’t know what to do and I don’t even know what I googled. And I came across your podcast and I started listening to it and that’s what jump started this journey for me.
0:03:40 Wendy: That is so cool to hear. Because business wise, as an entrepreneur, we have tackled so many different ways to meet and get to know new families all across the world. And Google SEO is one thing that we have not hopped into. And so to, to hear that you found me through just simple SEO on Google is just so, so cool. So God definitely wanted us to connect. So that’s amazing. And so you started to kind of go into some of the struggles that you were facing at that time.
0:04:07 Wendy: And I’m going to seize.
0:04:17 Chandni: Bless you. So.
0:04:26 Wendy: I don’t think I’ve ever had a sneezing attack on a podcast before. That’s so funny. Sometimes, you know, they don’t stop, but I think this one’s gonna stop. Okay, so perfect because you started to go into some of the things that you were struggling with when you found us. And it’s funny because I find so many of our students that really fall in love with Fresh Start family and the work we do here, they kind of mimic my journey.
0:04:51 Wendy: Not everyone, right? Not everyone. But that’s exactly where I started to lose my mind too. Right. Stella was 3ish when Taryn was born and I was so excited. But then when it happened to, I just really started to feel like I was very frazzled and like, not having confidence, not knowing what to do with this little girl. So it’s interesting to hear that that was the same exact time you started seeking support and guidance to. Right. There’s nothing like going from one to two to really kind of rock your world a little bit. So tell us a little bit more about that time.
0:05:26 Wendy: What were some of the pain points or the feelings you were having inside or the stuff you were dealing with that caused you to kind of start seeking support?
0:05:35 Chandni: Yeah, absolutely. So I think the biggest thing I can remember was I just wasn’t showing up as the mom that I wanted to be. And I felt very guilty every night that I went to bed. And I think more than that, I think what really, really pushed me into looking into getting support was the look on my husband’s face one day when I. I’m not proud of it, but it is part of my journey when I was yelling at my son, the three year old at the time, and shaming him, saying, what is wrong with you? Why would you do this? I don’t even remember all the details, but just the look on my husband’s face and just taking my son saying, okay, Christian, let’s. Let’s go in this room. And never once did he say, why are you talking to him like that? What is wrong with you? Never wants to confront me about it.
0:06:18 Chandni: But again, I’ve known the man for a very long time, but just seeing the look on his face, you know, being somebody I never thought I would turn into after having children is really what stirred something in my heart. Because I can tell my heart was not where my mind was at. The things coming out of my mouth was not what I actually wanted to be saying or doing with my children at the time. And so it was a lot of reactionary parenting, a lot of yelling, there was a lot of shamings, there was a lot of blaming. I mean, I remember putting my 3 year old in timeout, facing a wall when he spilled his cereal one time. And just the things. Now I look back at it, I laugh and I’m like, gosh, I can’t believe I did that. But it makes sense why I did that. I just didn’t know any better. And now I do. And now I make a different choice. I didn’t know differently, I should say.
0:07:05 Chandni: And now I can make those different choices.
0:07:08 Wendy: Oh, I. And we know what a win it is to look back and be able to laugh, right?
0:07:13 Chandni: Yes, we.
0:07:15 Wendy: We share a lot in our journeys, right, of reducing shame like that. We, you know, many Many of our students and you are similar and just like me, it’s like we’re, we are pretty good at being hard on ourselves and we know that when we’re hard on ourselves, we’re hard on our children. And then through all of our programs, Fresh Start family, but especially the full mastery program, we learn to fully accept and have more compassion with ourselves. And when we have more compassion with ourselves, we have more compassion with our kids.
0:07:44 Wendy: But I think even that just hearing you speak about how you’re able to kind of giggle at it now is such a huge change, right? Because that’s something that you have to learn how to do with grace and, and even the words you just said. I don’t know exactly how you said it, Shani, but it was like, it makes sense why I was doing that. Like you’ve learned so much about how. It wasn’t like you were trying to be this negative Nancy or whatever, but it makes sense. Like I can just hear the compassion in your voice that you have for yourself now to just be able to giggle a little bit and be like, yep, I did that. I made my son look at the wall over four minutes of timeout, whatever, because he was four years old or three years old because he spilled his frickin cereal.
0:08:27 Wendy: And there’s something so beautiful about the ability just to be a little bit of light hearted about it. And we know that that helps us make different choices tomorrow when we don’t feel like we have to shame ourselves. Because when you mentioned the look on your husband’s face, first of all, I love your marriage. I feel like I’ve gotten to know your husband just a little bit through supporting you, especially during the seven months full mastery program. And just it, I can just sense the love that you guys have and the utmost respect that you have for him and how much you care about him. And even watching you expand and grow in the way that you up in your marriage was just such a joy, specifically over that seven months we spent together.
0:09:09 Wendy: But when you talked about looking at him and seeing the look on his face, right? And, and like yes, he was probably thinking like, whoa, my love needs some support. Like, gosh, I wish I could help her. But it was probably your reflection of the what’s wrong with you? You know, like we see in other people sometimes what we believe in ourselves. Like what is wrong with you? And we know that if we’re saying what’s wrong, what’s wrong with you to a child, then we’re for sure most likely saying it to Ourselves, like, what’s wrong with you?
0:09:39 Wendy: And at that time that made sense, right? To like question who you are and how you’re showing up and all the things. But it just is a big deal to hear you have grown so much in that and even just saying things differently, like instead of better, just differently, like, I just love seeing, seeing the growth in you. Okay, so reactivity. You’re doing some punishment, classic punishment stuff. Timeouts, not feeling great.
0:10:05 Wendy: There’s definitely some disconnection with your spouse, some sounds like some questioning, some low self confidence within yourself, some disalignment with like, who you want to be versus how you’re actually showing up in your day to day life. And then how about the kids? Like, was there like, you know, misbehavior wise? Was there stuff going on that you were just like, oh, was there power struggles? Was there maybe lack of confidence in your kids? You were seeing like what was happening with the kiddos at the time that felt just rocky.
0:10:41 Chandni: Yeah, absolutely. So I would definitely say power struggles was big. And I definitely saw a lot of inadequacy into this behavior, especially in my oldest one. And I think that was another big reason why I wanted to make the changes that I did. Because I saw a lot of myself in him when it came to feeling inadequate, feeling like I didn’t belong. And it just reminded me a lot of my own childhood. And I think those were the, the topmost behaviors.
0:11:09 Chandni: I think the classic. Okay, we gotta get in the car now. Well, no, I’m not going anywhere. Okay. Oh, yes, you are. You’re gonna get in the car. Yeah. And yeah, I’d say those are kind of the big buckets that we started that I started noticing.
0:11:23 Wendy: Yes, yes. Okay. And as you started learning new strategies. Strategies, Chandni. So as you started to get into the Fresher experience program, you’re learning new strategies, you’re figuring out new ways of doing things. What felt like some of the biggest shifts for you over all those years that we had worked together, and especially once you got into the full mastery program, where you started to really dive deeper.
0:11:49 Wendy: And I think that’s where many of us experience that, like, expedited growth. Because when you have that deeper level of accountability and community and consistency, right. Like something unlocks, that’s usually pretty beautiful. But what were some of the bigger shifts for you over the years that you were like, wow, this is different than how I was raised. And it’s, it’s working and I see it like, and it takes a lot of effort. And some days I Fail. And some days I.
0:12:16 Wendy: But over time, you started to see, oh, wow, things are shifting.
0:12:21 Chandni: Yeah. And I love this question because there’s so much and so much on my heart that I want to share, because I’ve seen so many changes. But I’d say the. The first big change that I saw was I stopped seeing my children as out to get me. And I still remember when it was just me, you know, before my youngest was born, Christian was not even one. I remember standing over his crib in the middle of the night, just crying as he’s crying at me, asking, why are you doing this to me? Why can’t you just go to sleep? I have to go to work, go to bed.
0:12:50 Chandni: And looking at it now, I’m like, oh, my gosh. He wasn’t trying to. To hurt me or trying to cost me any sleep. He was just a baby who needed to be comforted in that moment. And I was in my own way thinking, well, it’s his fault. I feel so miserable. So I think that was a big piece where I stopped looking at him as he is out to get me. He is making my life miserable and really just shifting that. That mindset around him. And then. Which inadvertently went on to my youngest, Brayden, I think has been just godsend, Honestly, for lack of better word, just seeing them in a truer light is the better, is the phrase that I want to use there. I see them for who they are and what they’re asking for.
0:13:33 Chandni: The other piece I’ve seen is. And this one’s taken a lot of time, but viewing myself as being capable, I think, you know, when I began my parenting journey, I. I didn’t really know what I was doing. And I still remember one night, my husband works overnight. So when I had the two little ones at the time, and he was going to work and I was on maternity leave, I’d go and spend the night at her house with her and my dad to help.
0:13:56 Chandni: To have help at night. And I was actually doing one of your free workshops at the time, and my mom walked in, and she’s like, is this how you’re learning to be a mom? Because nobody taught me. I just knew how to do it. I was like, well, yeah, this is how I. How I’m going to learn, because I want to tell her any of this. But in my head, I was like, because I want to learn to do things differently. I don’t love the way I was showing up. I was blaming my son for things, and I was like, oh. Then I was like, what am I doing wrong? Maybe this isn’t the right thing to be doing. I don’t know. But sticking with knowing, sticking with, with my goal, My goal of wanting to be connected to my children.
0:14:30 Chandni: My goal of seeing us as a family that’s connected and God’s love and knowing that we can always be a safe space for each other, that mistakes are okay to make and my kids can come and talk to me about anything. I think staying firm in vision of what I wanted and really I had to keep reminding myself I am capable. I am capable is what. It was a huge shift over the last three years for me. And I think more so when I did the become a parenting coach program. It really solidified for me that, hey, I can do this, because I did graduate from the seven month intensive program and I am certified to be a coach and I am still in progress. And that is okay.
0:15:08 Chandni: I am continuing to grow every day. I’d say one of the other big shifts that I never thought about, I think is like a positive side effect, as you will, because, you know, I’m a pharmacist, so I think of things in a technical, medicinal, scientific term of like a positive side effect.
0:15:22 Wendy: I think of you every time I pick up prescriptions. Every time I think to myself, I wonder how Chandni is. I wish I could give her a hug. Like, I just every single time pharmacist is like, makes me think of you.
0:15:35 Chandni: Okay, go on. I think the, the other things that, you know, the positive side effects of me being in this program and doing all this work was the changes I saw within my marriage and with my relationship with my parents. I know Wendy, you know, some of it because I’ve shared a lot of it with you. Actually, I think you know the most that anybody else here knows that I don’t have the best relationship with my mom and through Joey, become a parenting coach.
0:15:59 Chandni: Honest to God, that resentment I felt is just. It’s vanished. I can now see her with a lens of compassion that was never there before. And it’s just remarkable because I think, of course I had my fresh start journey for the three years or two years before I did become a parenting coach. But I think that seven month intensive study really helped me to feel my feelings and not be ashamed of them, which was such a big thing I was doing that I didn’t even realize.
0:16:26 Chandni: I always thought I was this vulnerable person. I talk about my feelings and issues with all my friends, but when it came down to it, I didn’t really talk about it at home, like, you know, with my husband or my children or my parents even. And I learned that I was shaming myself for the way that I felt. And so that was. It just blows my mind that even now, I could be with her and not have those resentful thoughts and actions towards her.
0:16:50 Chandni: And then, of course, with my marriage, too. I mean, I. My husband’s my best friend, and I thought, hey, he knows me. I’m so good with him all the time. But as you know, there were certain conversations I was too embarrassed to have with him. And I’m like, what is wrong with me? I. And there it was, you know, the. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I do it? And then get to grow from that? I’m glad I’m not alone.
0:17:12 Wendy: Yeah.
0:17:13 Chandni: Oh. But, yes, Lots, lots of different places that I grew. I think that’s just a big. A highlight of the different areas of my life that I’ve seen. Changes.
0:17:22 Wendy: So beautiful. Yeah. I just remember specific either coaching calls, especially in the full mastery program, or one on ones you and I had where you would bring a situation with your mom or your, you know, your husband, and then you would just go apply it. You would apply the coaching, you would apply the learning. And to hear you come back with successes of like, wow, this felt better, right? When I visited or I had this conversation, they responded so well. I feel so much more settled. I feel so much more confident.
0:17:52 Wendy: Has just been so, so beautiful. And. And yeah, God bless the past generations, right? Like, they know what they know, they don’t know what they don’t know. And yeah, it’s just so normal to have thought because it’s the way they were. The water that they swam in growing up is like, nobody needs to be taught how to be a parent, right? Like, you should just know this. You should just naturally be this, you know, everything that you’re ever going to be as a parent. So it is so new to them, the concept of actually having a mentor that helps you reach your dreams when it comes to raising your human souls that you’ve been gifted with.
0:18:32 Wendy: And. And then it’s just culturally conditioned. Not even from past generations, but. But still to this day, it’s still conditioned that, like, people in business have mentors, sports people have coaches, right? Like, the highest NBA players have multiple coaches. NFL teams have, like, seven different strings of coaches. But parenting, the one thing that, like, the grand majority of humans on this planet will do, it has been conditioned in our culture. We have been conditioned to believe that it is weak to want and desire a parenting mentor.
0:19:06 Wendy: And it’s just wild. And people like you who have the courage to step up and break that generational cycle and say, God bless you, mom and dad, but that’s just silly. Of course I’m going to get a mentor. And you are someone, Chandni, who really genuinely does have that desire. And I relate so much to it and I admire it so much because it is something I admire in myself too, is that desire to keep learning and growing and evolving and healing and becoming an expanded version of ourself. Because when we do that, we know that that is the greatest way to gift our children with that same ability.
0:19:43 Wendy: Right? Like, it is the way we can try to fix our kids and make their problems. Like, right now we got this thing with Stella with. With overwhelm with her AP classes and recruiting season, and it’s like, there’s always that knee jerk to like, like, fix it or make her. And I just keep coming back to, like, how can I help myself through this? What am I still needing to heal and learn and grow through? Because that is the way to affect.
0:20:08 Wendy: To affect the next generation the most. So beautiful. Beautiful. And I’m just so happy that in your family lineage, you are someone who bravely had the courage to step forward and say, not only am I going to join a program where I’m going to have a mentor, but I’m going to join an experience, expanded version of the program where I’m going to have a really intensive study with one mentor who’s going to just pour into me with a small group for seven months.
0:20:35 Wendy: So let’s get to your kids for a minute. So we talked about some of the changes that happen in you. Your marriage, your relationship with your. Your mom, how you felt as a parent. Like, your confidence, your. More. I just feel like more peace that you had in your soul from day one to the end of full mastery. Become a parenting coach program. But what about the kids? Like, what have you seen change a little bit?
0:21:00 Wendy: And I meant to pull a few of your success stories and I forgot before I came to our recording today, but I know you. You have shared so many over the years that have just been like, wow, profound, where you are seeing your little boy say something or do something. That just feels like all this time that you’ve been teaching, right? I think a lot of times we’re like, are they even listening? Like, we tell them something, we teach something, we model something, we heal something. And we’re like, are they even noticing? And then something happens and you’re like, dang, they’re noticing, and they’re. They’re doing. They’re becoming what I always wanted for them. Like, has there been some things, whether it’s apologizing on their own or saying something that’s, like, profound to you, that you realize they’re starting to see themselves differently or maybe power struggles aren’t as intense. Has there been anything with the kids that you’ve seen in them change?
0:21:54 Chandni: Yeah, absolutely. And there have been so many, but just a couple examples kind of related back to the misbehaviors I saw before I started this. So I know inadequacy was a big one for my oldest, and I think one of the biggest changes that I’ve seen within him over the last couple years is he’s getting a lot more comfortable with being who he is and making the decisions for himself and really sticky with it.
0:22:16 Chandni: And it just makes me beam with pride because I was like, I. I didn’t do this as a kid, you know, and here I am making these changes in this point of my life, and he could see it, and he mirrors it, and he’s okay with the choices he makes for himself. And I know that that is a direct impact of, one, me backing off. Honestly, you know, hey, if you want to wear that shirt with those pants, that’s fantastic.
0:22:39 Wendy: It.
0:22:40 Chandni: That’s what you do. You. I’m totally fine with that. But I’ve learned that those little things, what, it’ll avoid a power struggle. And two, it just builds and empowers him because that’s what he chose, that he got to do. I think the other big thing. My kid was having a conversation with one of his friends recently. I don’t even know the scenario, but his friend was like, well, Christian’s mom. He’s gonna get in trouble for doing that, isn’t he?
0:23:03 Chandni: And I was like, actually, no, because he talked to me about it already, and we had a conversation, and he learned what he could do differently next time. And I kid you not, Wendy, this kid’ jaw just dropped. And Christian looks over at him, and, you know, kid looks at me. He’s like, wait, so he’s not going to get in trouble? I was like, no, we already discussed it, and everything’s fine. And Christian looks at him. He says, dude, my mom is just the nicest. Like, the nicest.
0:23:26 Chandni: I wasn’t gonna get in trouble. And I know he didn’t use these words, but if he had the words to use, I think he would have said, well, it’s because she taught me, and she was okay with the fact that I made a mistake. But I think in his little head, it was just, oh, yeah, she’s the nicest, because I’m not going to get in trouble for making a mistake. And he’s had a couple times where he’s made a mistake, and he is beating himself up because, again, that’s how I raised him for a couple of years, you know, until I started doing things differently.
0:23:52 Chandni: And I know he’s beating himself up, and we’ve had a couple instances where I’ve able to just hold him. And we cut. We rock with the. I rock with him. I let him just talk, cry, pour his heart out, and I just remind him, you know, just tell me what you need to say. It’s okay. You’re safe, and I love you no matter what. And as soon as I tell him those words, I love you no matter what, I can physically feel his body just relax and melt into my arms.
0:24:16 Chandni: And after 20, 30 minutes, whatever it is, then he’s kind of back online, if you will, where his head is working again. And he’s not just full of these emotions. And he’s like, just, thank you. He’s like, okay, here’s what I did, and here’s what I think I could do next time. I’m like, okay. And he just gets to it himself because I just held space and reminded him that I love him even when he’s making these mistakes. And. And I think just even bringing that up, just, I could feel so many emotions in me as well, because I know those are all examples with my oldest, but I think he was the one who inspired me to start this work because I didn’t like the way I was showing up for him.
0:24:50 Chandni: And just the changes I’ve seen have just been absolutely incredible. Even my little guy now. We do so many redos in our house whenever they make a mistake with each other. And it’s a, okay, let’s redo that. Practice doing that differently. How can you handle that? He’ll come up to me and say, mommy, can we redo that, please? I’m like, oh, I can’t believe that you. You want to redo that? Let’s do it. That’s fantastic.
0:25:14 Wendy: He’s five years old.
0:25:16 Chandni: He just turned five. He’s been doing this since he was three and four. And I’m like, oh, my gosh. This is fantastic.
0:25:22 Wendy: It’s amazing. Yeah. And I would add that if he had the words right, when he said that to his buddy, when mom Mom’s just. My mom’s just the nicest. He would also say, my mom’s safe. Like, I’m safe to be a normal, imperfect human. Like, welcome to my home. We have safety here, right? Like, what a gift. What a gift to have these kiddos growing up with not perfect parents, but truly consistently safe environments where their nervous system is not on edge all the time and fearing, you know, just getting hurt, either emotionally or physically. It’s just something that was so normalized for us growing up. And of course, we never talked about that, but now we all realize, like, we were really on edge. Like, if you were imperfect, there was a good chance you were going to get harmed either emotionally or physically.
0:26:14 Wendy: And now our kids just get to grow up in an environment where, yes, they’re going to be held responsible. Yes, they’re going to teach. Right? Like, I know our kids get so sick of us teaching, but they don’t. They just get to grow up without the fear and the shame. And it’s just so beautiful to hear about little boys that get to get to do life differently in that regard. So thank you for sharing that, Chandni. That’s so beautiful.
0:26:41 Wendy: And. And yeah, five years old, already practicing redos and understanding that if you make a mistake, you learn from that mistake. And then it’ll take practice and you might not get it perfectly tomorrow, but if you keep practicing and believing in yourself that you have the ability to walk away or peacefully solve a conflict or speak up with respect and dignity when someone’s not doing what you want or whatever it may be like, gosh, how cool. How cool. So, okay, let’s see. Here’s my next question for you.
0:27:15 Wendy: What made you say yes to the full mastery program? What were your desires and dreams that you wanted to come true? And we’ve talked a little bit about that. But when you were thinking about this and you were like, I don’t know, I mean, you’re a full time pharmacist, you’ve got a busy life going on, you got two little boys, you do a lot. And what caused you to be like, ah, I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna hop in to a intensive study program where I’ve got Wendy in my back pocket, and I’m going to come together with this small community of parents, and I’m going to do this. I can do this. Like, what was it? Do you remember that kind of made you think, okay, I’m a yes.
0:27:57 Chandni: Yes, I. I do. And I’ll be honest. When I first joined the fresh Start Experience. And I learned about the Becoming Parenting Coach program. It very much intimidated me. I was like, there’s no way I could ever become a coach. I’m still learning. And then last. Last year, what really got me to say yes was I think it was one of the testimonials either that I read or a video I watched or something that you shared in one of our weekly calls about how you, as parents, go through it just to gain full mastery in their own home.
0:28:24 Chandni: And that was my calling. I have a handful of moments in my life where I just know God is speaking to me. My body gets full goosebumps, my heart starts pounding, and I know it’s meant to be. And that was one of those moments when I heard that you can do this program to gain full mastery and fluency for yourself, for your own home. You don’t even have to go out and do something in the world until you feel ready to.
0:28:45 Chandni: And that was my moment of, that’s exactly what I want. You know, I’ve been committed to this work, and there’s so much more that I want to continue to learn and grow within. And that’s what decided. That’s why I decided to say yes, because I knew it was something that I could apply just for myself and kind of use that to coach myself through some more difficult situations, too.
0:29:05 Wendy: I love that. Yeah. And just even in. And I. I think the way you went into this program and used it, which so many of our students, we had 16 in the program in 2024. So many of you guys were just there for full mastery. That’s all you wanted, right? Like, you were like, I’m not even sure I’ll coach one day. Maybe I will. But I always look at you guys and think of you. You are coaches. You are teachers.
0:29:32 Wendy: And it doesn’t matter if you create a coaching business or not or start, you know, whatever. You know, we had therapists in their program now that are now, like, incorporating this into their therapy or counseling business. So that’s great. But for those of you who are just being coaches and teachers in the world, the way you interact with your kids, classmates, when you’re at a school party, right? Like, or at an end of your banquet or your son’s karate class, as you’re watching from the edge and someone starts to share how, like, they’re really, really struggling as, like. Like, the kids start to become tweens and they’re having to punish or their little one, they’re starting to spank. Like, you’re just Going to have these natural opportunities to just be a light in your community, because now you are more confident.
0:30:19 Wendy: We have a good friend who has. He’s a missionary in the Philippines, and he. He calls Tear all the kids. He has so many kids. He has the most beautiful missionary mission down there. It’s called Awakening Philippine Islands. Actually, everyone who’s part of the franchise, frustrated experience, contributes a little bit to their ministry every month. But he and all the kids, they call Terry, our. My Terry, Pastor Terry.
0:30:43 Wendy: And Terry’s not a pastor. It’s not like he’s pastoring a church. But George knows. Our good friend George who runs this. He knows that Terry. The way Terry shows up in the world is like, essentially spreading the light of Christ, even though he’s not a trained theologian or pastor, right? Like, he just travels through the world in a way where he spreads light. He helps people. He is so magnetically attractive to people because they just feel safe and like, he is a conduit of light, right? And so it’s. I just laugh every time because they’re like Pastor Terry in their Philippine accent, and it’s like he’s like, you know, he’s just Pastor Terry to them. And so you are Coach Chandni. You are Teacher Chandni. And it does. It just doesn’t matter what you do with this. And I think this program is cool because it lights a fire, right? The way I teach this program is, especially when I. When I invite people in, is when you add this extra little piece of, like, now I’m going to become trained, so I could actually help explain the concepts to someone, whether it is a neighbor or a coaching client.
0:31:51 Wendy: It ups the game and it lights a little bit of a fire and gives you an extra piece of accountability that I think helps helps you digest the concepts in an expanded way. Because when you add just a little purpose to, like, why you’re doing things like, yes, you’re doing it for your children, your husband, your marriage, your extended family, all the things. But when you start to be also do it for your community, for the greater world, for your school system, for your church, whatever it may be, it just helps you really have an extra little layer of the. Why Would you. Would you agree?
0:32:27 Chandni: Oh, 100%. Yes. And I think that was the other piece I wanted to add about the coaching program to become a parenting coach. Program was, you know, I had been learning for two years before I signed up for it. And when I signed up for it, it was the intensive, like, the, you know, it was every week we had different topics. And then we had a group call where we got to discuss the topics and such. And then in addition, I got to teach it every week on my own too, you know, through like my video post or my audio post, whatever it was, the video. I did videos.
0:32:55 Chandni: But being able to teach that, I think just challenged my brain in such a different way versus just being a backseat learner, if you will, which, I mean, I know I was an active learner because I applied things and I went back and I pushed play, I relearned. And I think doing this and having to vocalize it, that was the other piece I discovered about myself over the past seven months in this program is I process so much better when I can talk things out.
0:33:20 Chandni: And that’s really what solidified that learning for me. And I think really expedited my healing, was being able to process that in a smaller community. Because I thrive in smaller groups than, you know, more than I do in large groups. I feel safer to use my voice and, you know, explore things. And being able to talk it out was just, oh, such a blessing. I loved it so much.
0:33:41 Wendy: I love that. Yeah, I just joined a new, like, YouTube creation program because we’re building out our YouTube channel, which is so exciting in 2025. But there are 17,000 people in the group. And I’m like, okay, A, this entrepreneur is doing very well. Good for him. I mean, he’s a huge.
0:34:02 Chandni: No kidding.
0:34:02 Wendy: I’m like, I get into that group and they’re like, post in the group. People will help you and you can hash things out. And I’m like, I posted something and it’s like, I never, like, I can’t even find the post I cannot even, like, figure out where my original post is to even see if anyone. Right. So there’s the beauty of being in this very tight knit, small group where safety is created really fast. And then there’s just this.
0:34:29 Wendy: All these opportunities to process in whatever way feels good. There’s opportunities to write questions in a written format. There’s opportunities to say it in an audible format where people hold space and listen and then chime in. Right? Like, there’s just all these incredible opportunities and then there’s just listening when we do our teaching and our workshop style sessions every week. But yeah, I love that.
0:34:53 Wendy: I love to hear that. That was. That was so helpful. Okay. And then maybe my next question for you would be, what were the feelings you had when you completed the program? Do you remember? I mean, our graduation call was magical. I remember just. Just sobbing through that and just pinching myself that I get to do this job and that I’ve created this program that gives so many incredible people the opportunity to shine.
0:35:20 Wendy: What a moving session that was. But do you remember some of the feelings you had when you walked away and you were like, wow, I freaking did it. I thought I could. I signed up, I finished. I did it. Like, was there. Can you speak to that for just a minute?
0:35:36 Chandni: Absolutely. So I know it’s not really a feeling, but to describe the way I felt was. I felt like I was on top of the world, literally. I was like, this is fantastic. I think my heart was just so full of joy and I was so thankful to myself for. For saying yes and for signing up and finding the courage to do it. And I think that was. That was my biggest thing of. I felt inspired by myself. And I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever felt inspired by myself. I.
0:36:04 Chandni: Maybe that’s being drastic. This I can remember more deeply feeling like, wow, I did this. And I know I could do other things moving forward in my life too, because this was a big leap of faith for me to be able to jump in and find the time to be able to do that and really dedicate myself and not half ass it, for lack of better words. I showed up. I showed up as my full self every time. And I was very, very proud of myself.
0:36:30 Chandni: Oh, I love it. I love it, I love it.
0:36:32 Wendy: Okay, last question for you. If you were to thank, like, give yourself a thank you or a message or encouragement to, like, your younger self, as you were thinking about, as you were just starting this journey of learning a new way or starting to accept help or. And also, like, as you were thinking about, like, fully jumping in and committing and believing that this was something that you could reach full mastery in, what would you say to yourself, like, back then as a note of encouragement or just a message of, like, believing in your younger self so they hear that from you now.
0:37:13 Chandni: Oh, that’s a good one. If I were to go back and say something to my younger self, it would be to keep faith and keep an eye on the prize, keep the vision, the why, what I see for my family in the future, top of mind. And I think that’s been such a blessing working with you, especially the become a parenting coach program, the visioning and putting myself in that situation, and that’s what I would tell myself, is to hold on to that feeling of when I’m done and what I accomplish and what I see my family being in the next 15, 20 years. How I see us connected and growing in the love of God.
0:37:50 Chandni: Keep that in mind and know that you are capable, capable. You are so courageous and you are so resilient, and you will heal, and you’ll heal through feeling. And that was such a big thing that I learned as well through the program. I know I’m going on a tangent here, but I would say through the become a parent to coach program, it was a. I always thought myself as a vulnerable person, and I didn’t realize how much. I think I talked about a little earlier where I suppressed my feelings or didn’t allow myself to feel fully.
0:38:19 Chandni: And that has just been one of the greatest stepping stones, I think even doing, like, the freedom to be program prior to become a parenting coach. And then again while in the parenting coach program, I was able to release so much of the trauma and the. The negativity that I held in my heart by simply allowing myself to feel those feelings, Cry when I was listening to a song while driving, or cry on one of our calls as I was talking to the group about something that it was okay to not understand, understand why in the moment, but to just let it release, to allow myself to heal. So I would tell my younger self that of it’s okay to feel your feelings. There’s no shame around that because it will help you get to where you want to be in the future.
0:39:01 Wendy: Oh my gosh. Well, when this comes out, I hope you re listen to that again because it’s just so beautiful. And I too love the idea of always looking 15, 20 years out about. I sometimes I’m like, think to myself, I’m so weird because I often will think in terms of, like, decision making as like 90 year old me. I’ll be like, what would 90 year old me want? Right? Like, and the decision I make today is gonna affect how I feel when I’m 90, 100 years old. Because I swear it’s like when I blow out a candle. Every time I blow out a candle, I’m like, Terry and I both love to be 100. Like, so I’m making 100.
0:39:41 Wendy: Oh, come on. God, we got this. But I often, I love thinking. I love thinking 15, 20 years out, but I also love thinking so far out about what my grandkids and my great grandchildren will say about their parents. And I feel like you have a little bit of that joy for that too.
0:39:59 Chandni: Well, honestly, Wendy, I. I learned that from you. Not to cut you off, but I learned that from you. That’s not Something I ever allowed myself to really do or thought that was something I should do or could do. But I think being able to vision and look into the future like that, it just fills me up with so much hope versus feeling the despair of, well, it didn’t work previously and look at what I did and look at how I impacted my children and it just, it lights me up and I think looking at the future. So thank you for teaching me how to do that.
0:40:27 Wendy: It does me too. Because a lot of people, when you think about 90 or 100 and you’re like decrepit and you can barely get out of bed, it’s like depressing. But when you look at, at like sitting in that place and knowing like you’re just basking in the glow of the legacy you created and have passed down of health and connection and dignity and grace and compassion, it just feels so, so good. And then also 15 to 20 years is great because 15, your little guy, so you’re five and eight now. So your little guy will be 20, you’ll be 20 and 25.
0:41:00 Wendy: But like, just I, I know so many people listening have young, younger kids and like thinking about the teenage years in a way where you’re like, I’m, I want to thrive, like, right? And, and being in a position now where I’m there, I’ve got the teenagers where I’m like, this is so fun. It’s a lot right? Like, and even Taryn now is a full blown teen with like attitude. Some days I’m like, who are you? You’re the mellow kid, right? But, but it’s still, it’s, it’s so much fun.
0:41:29 Wendy: It’s so fun. And discipline is like, it’s just not a problem when it comes and you ha. You know, you need to discipline or you need to teach or you need to work with an attitude or figure out how the chores are going to be easier. Like when you just feel so equipped and confident and empowered and connected and know that you don’t have to hurt and harm your kids or force them into submission or punish them to try to make them be better tomorrow, it just feels so good. So I know a lot of people are sinking into that like 15, even if you say 10, 15 year vision out and just be rooted in that, you know, just, you can have that, like, you can have that joy and peace and connection and pure fun throughout the teenage years. It really is just a myth that teenagers suck. They are the most incredible, incredible humans. And that stage of life is so sacred.
0:42:23 Wendy: Watching I mean, both Taryn and Stella. Taryn has, like, his first, like, little girlfriend right now, and Stella, obviously in her beach volleyball recruiting season. It’s like, it is such an honor to support them and to be by their side and to know that we have something that we didn’t necessarily have when we were kids. Like, we, you know, many of us didn’t feel super duper, duper connected to our parents like, we were air quotes, fine.
0:42:51 Wendy: But they weren’t the ones that we were crying on their shoulder, asking them for support or trusting that they weren’t gonna fix or shame us when we shared that something was actually happening or made a mistake. So. What a blessing. Chandni, I love you. I love you so much. And I love you. So grateful. Yes, I am so grateful that. That you did the Full mastery become a parenting coach program with me.
0:43:16 Wendy: And thank you for being here today. Thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing your just a little bit about your journey. Those boys of yours are so lucky to have you as their mama. That best friend of yours is so lucky to have you as his soulmate. And thanks. Thanks for being here.
0:43:33 Chandni: Thank you, Wendy.
