Darkness Amidst a Season of Light? Ways to Prepare Well
Darkness Amidst a Season of Light? Ways to Prepare Well
A time when we go from thinking …”We kind of know it all” (let’s be honest) … to being completely humbled by the reality of how hard it is to raise little human souls with true integrity and joy.
>>> Stretching us to grow in humility, patience, compassion, grace and TRUE influencing skills is GOOD for us, GOOD for the world.
Perhaps you’re in this hard dark season right now, where many of your days include feeling:
- from babies who still need you at 2am, to toddlers who just can’t stay in their bed all night to kids who seem to melt down every evening at bedtime
- from begging, pleading, correcting, scolding, or repeating things to your kids … all. day. long. every. day.
- from trying to do it all, fix it all, teach it all, keep it all in order
- from ALL the activities, needs, challenges, and misbehaviors that demand your attention.
- that you have a child that pushes back on everything
- that your kids can’t sit still for a meal
- that every morning is like groundhogs day when bickering & arguing & tears are abundant when trying to get out the door to preschool, work or daycare.
- that your kids may grow up to be total brats if you don’t figure out how to get them to change, soon.
- that maybe you’re not cut out for this, that maybe you just aren’t good at parenting
- that you’re doing it all wrong but you have no idea what to do
>>> ANXIETY RIDDEN
- that others are judging you when you’re kids misbehave at the grocery store or any public space
- that holiday meals & gatherings are going to be embarrassing and awful because the kids will probably tantrum & be wild at some point
- when you want so hard to just smile at their silly, sloth like behavior when you ask them to put their shoes on, but instead you snap & consistently yell “HURRY UP” or “GET YOUR SHOES ON NOW OR ELSE…..”.
- when a challenge arises and you want to slow down and work it out with your kiddo, but instead just habitually jump to reacting, scolding & threatening because it’s just taking TOO long
- when you seem to easily see ALL the things that are wrong with your child, but realize you don’t spend as much time pointing out all the good things
- when you talk to your friends and use words like sassy, disobedient, wild, naughty and insane to decribe your kid who seems to be always butting heads with you.
- when your spouse gives you a hug & asks you after a long day, “How was your day babe?” you laugh and say “Well, I survived, but it was pretty awful.”
- when you realize you’re really good at pointing out every flaw your kids have; the ways they wash their hands wrong, the way they talk to their siblings, the way they ask you for milk, the way they make their bed, or talk to their grandparents.
- of your spouse when they do things a bit different than you & it just seems likes your way is better.
- of yourself & half of the things you do each day with your kids … as you lay your head on your pillow at night, you see all the ways you could be better.
If you said yes to any of these, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I am here to help.
I’ve been through the valley & am on the other side & IT IS BEAUTIFUL … worth every bit of effort it will take for you to get there.
These kind of supercharged feelings are always tricky to navigate, but especially during the holidays when we have giant expectations of flawless family gatherings, joyful kids unwrapping gifts they’re grateful for, children staying present (& off devices) & toddlers sitting still during Christmas services.
Ha! Often NOT the reality of holiday life, would you agree?
Christmas is a BEAUTIFUL time of year, but:
- we STILL get triggered by our littles
- we STILL get angry when they won’t listen
- we STILL get fearful that our relatives will judge us for trying to teach them with kindness instead of smack them
- we STILL get anxiety that we’ll be the ones with the kids melting down at church
- we STILL don’t know what to do when the day seems ruined by misbehavior & it’s only 9am!
- we STILL get scared we won’t be able to be kind to our own children on Christmas day when we WANT to celebrate the Prince of Peace, but are irritated & annoyed at our kids’ behavior.
Fear, anxiety & anger can create darkness that we often don’t talk about to begin with, let alone during the Christmas season when we think everyone ELSE is enjoying peace & connection with their family.
The truth is EVERYONE is having imperfection in their home & just doing their best to enjoy the season & honor Jesus with true respect & love.
As parents we NEED to prepare ourselves for ways to manage these strong emotions. Not control, but manage. When we’re proactively prepared, we have a much better chance of moving through them fully (instead of running from them or denying them) and taking actions to take care of ourselves & the situations at hand … in ways that we will be proud of at the end of the day when we lay our heads on our pillows.
A decade after the time I described above, I am now in a season where I feel FULLY equipped to handle the normal ups & downs of parenting on any day, but especially at Christmas time. Even amidst visitors, family functions, overpacked schedules, tired kiddos, and a bit of stress to make Christmas GREAT … I feel stronger then ever as a parent & more connected than I’ve ever been with my spouse & children. I want the same thing for you families!
Click HERE to read my full Mother.ly article on 9 Phrases to Manage your Fear & Anxiety & Become a More Peaceful Parent.