On this episode of The Fresh Start Family Show, Wendy sits down with Jackie Leonard, founder of Motherscope and host of The Motherscope Podcast to talk about the Life Changing Magic of Creative Writing in motherhood. Jackie’s early experiences of motherhood acted as a catalyst for the birth of Motherscope – a community of moms who inspire and uplift one another by writing and sharing their own stories.
When we look back at the legacy we are leaving behind for our children and generations to come, we can start to see how using writing to tell our stories is a beautiful form of connection and way to honor all the ups and downs of this wild parenting journey we’re on.
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Episode Highlights
- Writing our stories helps preserve our family’s history and legacy after we and family members are no longer here
- Recording our stories can be so connecting for our kids to go back and read when they’re older
- Recording our memories are cherished reflection points for us to see later when we’re out of the thick of it how much we do and how much we’ve grown
- Writing helps us “get out of our heads” by actually writing down what we’re thinking about and connecting with ourselves
- Writing a little bit every day – especially by hand – is good for our brains and helps us remember that we are significant and our lives matter
- Find a method that works for you, there’s no right or wrong!
Resources Mentioned
Motherscope Writers’ Club – ongoing writing support and community for moms. SIGN UP for Writers’ Club using the code FRESHSTART to access Motherscope’s Write Your Birth Story Masterclass
IG: @motherscope
FB: @motherscope
Website: www.motherscope.com
Wendy’s Episode on Motherscope
The Motherscope Podcast Mother Writer
Grab Your Quick Start Learning Bundle Raising Strong Willed Kids with Integrity
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Here is the episode transcript!
This episode of the Fresh Start Family Show is brought to you by our Quick Start Learning bundle to raise strong-willed kids with integrity. This two pack learning bundle comes with a downloadable learning guide and also a free online workshop with me all about what to do when your kids say, ‘no, I won’t, and you can’t make me’ in one way or another. Cuz we all know our beautiful, strong-willed kiddos resist in lots of different ways. Head to freshstartfamilyonline.com/free to grab your quick start bundle and get started learning with me today. Well, hey there listeners, I’m so happy that you’re back for a new episode.
Wendy:
I’m your host, Wendy Snyder, positive parenting educator and family life coach. And today on the show you are going to get to meet Miss Jackie Leonard, who came on the show to talk to me about the life-changing magic of creative writing for mothers. And this conversation was just really rich. I know you guys are gonna enjoy it. So let me just take a moment to tell you a bit about Jackie before we get started. Jackie Leonard is the founder of Motherscope and host of the Motherscope Podcast. And she is a lifelong writer in Southern California native, now based in Oregon, whose early experiences of motherhood acted as a catalyst for the birth of Motherscope, a community of moms who inspire and uplift one another by writing and sharing their own stories.
It was the birth of her first child in 2017 and her experiences in those early days of motherhood that inspired what would eventually become Motherscope. The things that make Jackie feel most powerful are the community of women who surround her writing and her children. Her garden cooking and husband bring her peace. So you guys, you’re gonna love this episode. She and I just talked about so much about, you know, when it comes to writing, I met Jackie years ago. She’s always been someone who inspires me. Her spirit is just very sweet and soft and, and just, she’s just a delight to be around. So without further ado, you guys help me welcome Jackie to the show and enjoy this episode.
Stella:
Well, hey there, I’m Stella. Welcome to my mom and dad’s podcast, the Fresh Start Family Show. We’re so happy you’re here. We’re inspired by the ocean, Jesus, and rock and roll and believe deeply in the true power of love and kindness. Together we hope to inspire you to expand your heart, learn new tools, and strengthen your family. Enjoy the show
Wendy:
Well hey, there families and welcome back to a new episode of the Fresh Start Family Show. Welcome to the show Jackie. I’m so happy to have you.
Jackie:
Hi Wendy. I know I’ve been looking forward to this. It’s been a long time coming because of just illnesses and all kinds of stuff, but you said a while ago that it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen and I, I feel excited about our talk today and it feels like it did come at a good time.
Wendy:
I agree. It always comes at the right time. Right. And families. Today we are just going to be having a beautiful conversation with Jackie about the life-changing magic of creating creative writing for mothers. And Jackie, I shared a little bit about who you are and what you do and all that good stuff before we started recording, so listeners could learn a little bit more about you. But I always love to start off by just hearing your story. Like how did you like, become so passionate about writing and your work is so beautiful and the curation of stories that you have put together over the last few years. And the way you inspire ss moms to write is just really beautiful and unique. So tell listeners how you got here.
What’s, what, what is your story that led you to this place to be so passionate about it?
Jackie:
I don’t, I don’t know. It feels a little silly starting from when I was so little. But I, I really do call myself a lifelong writer for a reason. And more than that, I would say I’ve, even, before I learned how to write, I’ve been a storyteller. So I remember being so young that I knew I couldn’t read or read like, and write. So probably before first grade or kindergarten and still making up stories for the younger kids in my family and telling them, pretending that I could read a book even. And just like making up stories from the pictures on the pages. And so that it’s just something that’s innate or just a part of who I am from an early age. But then as, as I learned to write and became better at it, I just found myself again, naturally turning to it to express myself and also to process.
And I, I mean, I just recently for a project I’m working on, went back and read over some of my old journals from when I was in high school, which I have not wanted to do for a really long time.
Wendy:
No, right.
Jackie:
Really, I mean I was, I was just doing it to have a conversation with myself. It, it, it was, it’s been, it was a way for me to process what was going on in my life, ponder things. I mean, it’s, it’s been a companion and a tool that I’ve used throughout my life. And so I mean that’s, yeah, that’s why I’m, I do it and I continue to do it today. And I mean maybe we’ll get into this a little bit more deeply in a bit, but after I mom, you know, I’d spent all of my academic career studying writing and feeling like I didn’t know how to really do do it professionally beyond school.
And after I became a mom, it was like writing is who I, what I’ve done since I was a little kid. It’s the thing that lights me up. I need to go back to that. And so that’s in a nutshell, kind of my identity as a writer and a person. Yeah.
Wendy:
I love it. And then when did you create or or found Motherscope? Because we met at an awesome, awesome women’s entrepreneurial retreat, let’s call it in the most beautiful winery. That was such a fun weekend. You remember that weekend? I feel like, wow. I made, I probably, we had met before, but we really got to spend time together that weekend when we were at that event. I mean, Temecula, California, it was a gorgeous weekend. We had the best wine. But I remember like was that when you were just forming Motherscope? Cuz that was probably a few years ago or has it been longer than that because you became a mom five years ago, right?
Jackie:
Yes. So it’s, it was about like, that was in, its like first year of in like incubating coming out. Like I, I think about that retreat fondly. It was a really special, special experience and I met some really great people including you at that and had some amazing conversations. But what I really remember about that weekend, or was, I don’t know, that few days that we were away was, it was my first big time away from home as a mom too at the time, one and a half, two year olds now. He was like two. So I that I spent like two to three days away from home focusing on something that I was trying to grow and passionate about.
And it was really special. What really happened was I, I was working as a paralegal before I had my son. I was pregnant and up until the day before I gave birth, I was working and I had planned to return in six weeks and I worked for a small law firm and my boss said, you can bring your baby with you and you can work in the back office. And I thought, sure, I’ll do that. Like, you know, and I was, I was working so much and I, I remember feeling like I, I wore it like a badge of honor, how much I could work and all the way to the end of my pregnancy. And my son was born a little bit earlier than expected. I was gonna take a few weeks off before I had him.
And he came at 37 and a half weeks, no time for you. You hate that. You’re like absolutely no rest, no time, nothing. And he was a low birth weight. So we needed a lot of supports to be fed. We were pumping and doing tube feedings and
Wendy:
Straight into fear mode. Did you have, did you have any pediatricians who were like, you need to do something. Like I swear the pediatricians would talk to us like our baby was dying and I’m like, is this common? Like, and then the milk, the milkmaids would come in, I’d call ’em and they’d be like, you’re fine, just keep nursing. Everything will work out. And then the doctors would look at you like, no, something is a problem. And I’m like, what the fudge is happening here? Like, it was straight into fear mode. It was Did you have that experience at all or –
Jackie:
So I mean, I do. I mean I, if I had to think back there, I’m sure that I had some things being said to me that were fearful. Most of it actually came from me and I was, what I will say was I was really fortunate in my entrance to being a parent. Everything was like kind of crazy. But I did have a midwife, I had planned to have a home birth with my first, I had a midwife. I picked her because she just, she had been around for a long time. She was very knowledgeable. I felt like I trusted her a hundred percent. And so when I had him, my son was born, it was a precipitous birth. She didn’t even make it home. He was born, this is a whole new story, but he was born as she was on the way the doula called and was like, you need to get over here.
It’s happening a lot quicker than we, I thought she’s in the car driving on the phone with her and my son is born. So he was
Wendy:
In the car?
Jackie:
No, in, in our home in our
Wendy:
That’s why no one was there with you.
Jackie:
Yes, son. So my husband’s standing there that doula’s staying there and nobody anyway. Yeah. But with the midwife and her experience and her connections in the, the area that we were living at San Diego County, she knew a pediatrician. She’s like, do you have a pediatrician yet? Oh, I was like, no, not yet. I was gonna call the one, you know, you told me, but I hadn’t yet. And so she gets her on the phone, demands to speak with her, the like, nurses are kind of like, oh no, no. I was like, no, I need to talk to her. They go over like the vitals and everything of my son, they talk, have a plan. And she said, okay, you’re gonna see the pediatrician tomorrow. Everything’s looking good here. She set me up with donor milk and all this stuff, a lactation. She just sent me up with everything, put me at ease that he was good.
Everything else looked good except for him being very small. We were gonna like feed him a ton in the first week, get his weight up and they came and visited me every day. I went and saw the pediatrician, they like worked together. So I was very cared for in that regard. And yet it was still like a shock to my system.
Wendy:
So Yeah.
Jackie:
Yeah. So I can only imagine, you know, but yeah, you know, fast forward five or so weeks into parenting and I was like, my boss text me and is like, let’s have a meeting to, you know, make a plan for you coming back. And I was just like, I just had gotten my son in a feeding schedule where he was, he was breastfeeding finally after five weeks of pumping and all that. And I was terrified that I was gonna, we were gonna go backwards cause of, you know, the transition to work. I, I was not sleeping. I was, I was like barely lucid. And I just remember thinking to myself like, there’s no way I can go back to that. Like, there’s no way I can take my son to work.
There’s no way that I can go back into that world. It’s way too much for me right now. And I made a, a decision at the time to leave, to step away from my job. It wasn’t a pla a job that I was like passionate about that I saw
Wendy:
Yeah.
Jackie:
A long-term future in. So I, I’m not saying that I maybe would’ve done that same, made that same decision if it was something that I, I really wanted to, you know, continue. But in that time it just felt like the right decision. And I told myself because I’m such a working person, like I can’t slow down
Wendy:
Yeah.
Jackie:
That I was gonna take that year off with my son, but all for, for
Wendy:
Him, right, right
Jackie:
For him. But also to figure out what it was that I really wanted to do. Because at that point I had kind of bounced around in a few different careers. I had taught at a high as a high school teacher, I had done other things and I still didn’t really know what I wanted to do. And I was kind of used looking at this time as like a place to find clarity and I just started doing what I knew, which was writing stories and collecting stories. And because I was a new mom, I was really interested in, in stories that I didn’t normally hear. I felt like my experience as a parent and giving birth were very different than what I had expected.
Jackie:
And so I just was naturally like gravitating to putting that out in the world.
Wendy:
Yeah, it is amazing, right? Like that draw to like, it, you know, it’s, it’s just so fascinating. I don’t know if it’s, I dunno how to say it. You, you said it really well, but like the, the, like you, it’s, we joke that we can’t sit still or whatever, but it’s also just a draw to have like purpose and meaning like outside of motherhood, right? Like it’s a beautiful thing and we love it, but there’s also just so much joy that comes from doing other things that compliment it. So yeah, it comes, it comes back fast, right? You in your head often you’re like, I’m just gonna soak this up and, and be with my child for the first year. And then there’s this little inner bit that’s like, oh, what are we get? What else are we gonna do? What, what could we do now? What’s next? And yes, it sounds like that just blossomed for you at that, that time of your life.
That’s so cool. And yeah, and, and I, I love the way that you described it earlier that it’s companion. What did you say? You said writing has been a, a companion and a tool. So I love that. It’s like, to me that just speaks like, it brings comfort, but it also is a way to like express and use your voice. And I’m sure you know, for so many it’s processing emotions and moving through stuff because it’s like when you, whether you’re, and I’m really interested to learn all about your work, but especially like the creative side because I feel like I can, I’m more likely to be able to write and I’ve always been more likely to read when it’s like nonfiction and it kind of just flows and it feels like it’s, you know, you can process things and then once you write it down you’re like, oh, I see what’s happening here.
I’m learning from this. But then there’s the creative side that like, I’ve never really explored that much and like to think about like creative writing. I actually watched my dad over the last like, probably 15 years, try to become a creative writer and it was really fascinating. And then sitting down with this conversation with you today just started to think about that. I’m like, oh my gosh, that’s so interesting. He was really going down that route and, and you know it now, he just used it as a hobby, but there’s just so many sides of it that is, is really fascinating. So, so cool.
Jackie:
When you said that your, you said your grandfather?
Wendy:
My dad. My dad.
Jackie:
Your Dad.
Wendy:
Yeah. Dad.
Jackie:
When your dad was writing to you mean that he was like writing stories more like, or poetry or, I’m curious to hear what
Wendy:
What he was saying. Yeah, it was stories. It was stories. But he was trying to publish some, I remember this was probably like seven to 10 years ago. He was taking like writing classes and it’s so sweet. I feel like as, as time goes on, like I feel like I’ve done more and more discovery of my parents, right? Like I spent my teen years just like wanting to get the hell out of there and then like, I don’t know, just it’s taken me a while and as they get older and I’m like, oh, I go home and I’m like, you know, you get older and you become fascinated in this stuff. But he’s like, he’s he’s taking painting classes now and he is like this really quiet Quaker man from the south and he is just a really interesting guy. But yeah, I’m just seeing now that he has this like huge creative side to him.
Jackie:
Yeah.
Wendy:
And it’s just so cool. But yet he’s somehow ended up in like, as like a computer in like the computer processing world ev which makes no sense cuz my dad like literally can’t even like, can function like a cell phone or a computer. He like loses his mind. I’m like, what in the world? Like somehow you were sent down the wrong path and he was like basically miserable in his career his whole life. But then to see that there’s this side of him that just like really loved creative writing and art and all the things. So, and yeah, and I, I love, like I said, I love to write, I do a ton of like, when I’m writing emails and like speaking to people in my community or if I’m writing blog posts, it seems to just flow.
Wendy:
But I do, I do wonder, you know, what would like creative, the creative side look. But I think we’re gonna get there. But let’s, let’s just talk a little bit about why creative writing is such magic, right? So I think of all of our listeners and I think, you know, we have so many moms who are just in the heavy season of motherhood, right? Where there just seems to be not enough time to do anything. You barely shower some days it’s like between making lunches and taking the kids to and from school and sports and your work schedule and marriage and just all the things like, I’m sure for some it might be laughable to think like I’m gonna create a a writing habit, but at the same time, like, let’s just talk a little bit about why it is so magical.
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And the first thing that we were gonna chat about Jackie, is how we can really preserve our legacy by writing it down and how our story is important and will be important to our children’s origin story and, and like our children and their grandchildren and all the things.
So let’s talk a little bit about the a, the act of preserving, because this is, we talk about legacy a lot here at Fresh Start family and it reminds me actually of positive parenting in general because a lot of times, like what you do today will make such a difference in 15, 20, 30 years from now, right? Like, but it’s so easy to like wait, wait, wait, not do things, not do things. And then like in positive parenting work, you’re like, oh shit, your kids become teenagers and you’re like fully, like you’re disconnected, they’re lying, cheating, stealing, you’re fighting, you’re grounding them all the time. And you’re like, how do we get here? It’s because you, you know, you didn’t spend the last 10 years like doing something that was gonna preserve the relationship, blah, blah, blah.
Basically. I don’t know, that’s how I, but the, but when people lean into this work and they start practicing slowly but surely and they prioritize it and they find joy in it, like all of a sudden once they have teenagers, they’re just so set up for success and joy and connection and actually like enjoying being a parent to teenagers and then as they become young adults, it all just goes from there. So, but talk to us about this idea of legacy through writing and recording your story.
Jackie:
Yeah, well part of the reason why I asked you about your father and, and you know, just a little bit more details there is cuz as you were talking, I, I thought about my grand, my grandpa who passed away about a year and a few months ago, and I didn’t know this about him until I was an adult. He was an engineer. So also somebody who was not, you know, characterized as being a creative person, but he was somebody for who for as long as I knew and much longer was writing his own memoirs. And I don’t know why he, I mean he never fully explained like his goal with it, but he did it to I think help.
I think it helped his memory over time and it also allowed him to record the life that he had lived. And I think about that a lot of times when I think about legacy, I think about the fact that, that my maternal grandmother suffered from dementia, you know, and, and so I think there’s been a part of me because of what I’ve seen in my family and other people’s families that’s been really invested in the idea of preserving stories. Because I see what happens when, you know, like you said, 10 years, 20 years go by and we haven’t done it. Or when a family member is gone and we can never, can’t ask them anymore what happened.
Yeah. When I think about stories and writing, I think if that story is written down then it, it, it’s preserved, it’s there. And if we just rely on a person to tell us something we don’t know, I mean my life happens, right? Things happen, somebody can be gone and we’ll never have a chance to have that story. Obviously we can’t control what happens out there. But for me as a person who’s now a mom, I think about my sort of right, my sort of responsibility to sit down and write what I’m witnessing about my children, what I’m going through, so that they will be able to look back on that and read it possibly in the future and know, you know, who their mom was more than they, they will as like the the role that I played in their lives.
Yeah. And also know their own histories. Cuz I’m seeing, I’m living right now with them during times that they may, they are not gonna be able to remember when they’re older or remember as clearly maybe. And I can record that part of their life for them. And so I know that with social media now and pictures and videos, there’s this, people are preserving in a way. But just having lost people in my life, I just feel like pictures and videos are special, but they’re, you know, they say pictures to say a thousand words, but they really don’t, you know, you look at a picture, you see the smiley faces, I look at a picture of like, you know, our family pictures that we took a few a couple years ago.
And I’m like, yeah, I remember all the chaos that went into it. You don’t see that in a picture
Wendy:
I remember that it was picture, it was hell, it was hell that family photo shoot. That’s, that’s what’s not written on that. But we were never write about that. We would never, never course never preserve that. Yeah. You know, but really like riffing on that though, Jackie, like the reality, right? Like of motherhood to share it in a way that like, you know, I can just, I can just, what a gift it would be to your kids if you, you know, like those, you sh you shared somehow about those rocky moments, right? Or like the, the families that are in my work, like the rocky moments always there’s a beau there’s always a beautiful ending because we learn and we teach how to make amends. We learn how to use mistakes as opportunities to learn. But like all those moments can become beautiful to record even if they were crap.
And every single photo shoot known man has been a crap. I think I’ve done like six of them. And every single one was stressful except for one, we let the kids wear whatever they want. Stella had like a wedding veil on as like a four-year-old. She had like, like plastic, like Irish like jewelry and like old like tat – tattoos on and they were so happy. Like, but that was the only photo shoot that’s been, that’s not been stressful.
Jackie:
I love that.
Wendy:
I lo – okay, so I love all this Jackie. So as I was thinking as I was listening to like, I love the responsibility part, right? And I think sometimes, you know, we can just get so buried in the task that I, I think that it can be so joyful too, right? Like, and I know, I know you do too, but like when you read back your stories or your memories or your experiences or your thoughts, it’s so emotional, right? Like, it, it’s like an example of how to create your own joy. So this month in our private membership community at the time of this recording, we, we do like a 14 day gratitude challenge where every day we document 10 things that went great that we’re grateful for that the ki the kids are learning, we are changing.
Like anything you can see, you write it down and it’s just, it’s pivotal, right? Like once you get it down and you read it and also when you read other people’s, it just affects you, right? And you’ve realized like even if you had a crap day or if you’re in a really tough season with a toddler or a sickness everywhere, whatever it may be, that there is so much joy to be found. And I think that’s what can come from recording like legacy type of stories too, right? Whether it’s it’s birth or postpartum or you know, the season, this or that, whatever it may be. I actually shared something on social the other day that I can see like this being beautiful in writing too.
Even more beautiful in writing, right? Cuz it’s, but I shared Stella turned 15 and so we’ve been in this work now for about 12 over 12 years or almost 13 now. And I was just sha like, it hit me like a ton of bricks. How freaking the Halloween week here is crazy. It’s always been crazy. Both my kids have birthdays, we have Halloween in the middle and it’s just like, feels like chaos. So everyone goes back to school finally. And I just like exhale and then it just hits me like, oh my gosh. Like I look at this little girl and like how, how much we’ve been through and like how far we’ve come. We had a crazy birth. I was, I was an absent birth, like unconscious. She’s a miracle. She survived. It’s a miracle I survived torn placenta emergency c-section, just awfulness the first few months and then the toddler years is just when I almost lost my mind.
And then I found positive parenting and then fast forward with this 13 years and it’s like, oh my gosh, there’s this little girl that’s not just thriving, she’s like her story and who she is and this like beautiful strong will that she was blessed with is like literally helping thousands of parents have compassion with their children. And it was just like, whoa. I just kind of recorded it in a, a oral format, but the, it was just a, and I like watched it back and I was like crying. I’m like, this is so beautiful. So that’s an example of something that really should be in writing. Like those moments when you’re inspired right, to record like how grateful you are or, or the realizations of how much you’ve been through.
Like I can imagine Stella of picking up a story like that in 20 years and just being like, oh my gosh, like my mom and I were intensely connected and there’s so much purpose in my life and all the things. It’s pretty cool.
Jackie:
Well I was just thinking about, you know, how much more powerful watching that video is gonna be in 10 years or 20 years for you, like you said for your daughter. And you know, I wanna like go back to what you said earlier about creative, like how you li love to write about your, you know, exploring creative writing is something you haven’t yet. And I think the a I mean I believe the act of writing is creative unless you’re like doing writing technically for like a scientific report. If you’re writing about expressively, if you’re writing about an experience, you’ve been through some bringing emotion. I mean I feel like anything you probably write for even, you know, for for your families and for the blog posts and things like that, I think you bring in your insight and your ex your emotions and your feelings on certain matters.
So that is expressive writing that is creative to me. And I think when we say the word legacy, it has like some kind of like pressure to it sometimes. But I love, love that you talked about like preserving memories, just recording memories, writing them down because that’s what it’s about. When I, when I thought about like my responsibility and preserving memories, it was more like, I don’t wanna forget this moment and I know that time is gonna go by fast. Everybody tells me your kids grow up fast. But I know that in the day-to-day things are crazy. I’m in crisis mode all the time and I’m experiencing things right now that I know are gonna look different in a month, in a year and five years and I’m not gonna remember some of these details.
I wanna write it down. And to be able to look back on it like you shared and see like, oh I remember that was a really hard time and read what I wrote and I was like, oh, I had forgotten about that. That’s actually really sweet. Or that was so hard for me and just a month later like things got better. I remember that. I feel like being able to reflect on that, even if you’re the only person that gets to read that is a preservation, is you preserving a legacy of your life experiences. I think we don’t encourage people enough to do that, to honor their lives, to not just have gratitude but to, to see how much we do, how much we do on a day-to-day, how much we grow without even realizing it.
And I think writing has done that for I know it’s done that for me. And so many other people.
Wendy:
Yeah, and, and we’re gonna talk next about just how little goes a long way. Even just five minutes a day can really connect you to yourself, your thoughts preserve a memory in an impactful way and, and how there’s been a study of how three consecutive days has the power to heal when you write just 20 minutes a day. And I, I love that it talks about healing there because it is, it is interesting how much writing can create healing. So it’s like oftentimes if you write about a challenging situation and then you can like, so I’m, I’m just thinking about what I see in my group and that’s so interesting that you say all writing is creative because I’m just so realizing how much writing is such a tool in our community that is so beautiful.
Oh my gosh. Like all it’s all clicking. For me, I just thought as like, this is just what we do. We ask questions and then we share success stories and that’s the way you do it. That’s the way you get support and that’s the way we’ve organized our programs. But when I, when you look at our success stories, we have like a Google doc now of 800 pages of success stories from our students and our, our our our Bonfire private community. And it’s like beautiful. And the reason why I thought of that it’s healing is because when, when they write like, oh my gosh, I wanna come in and share what happened. Like, you know, last week or a month ago I got support on this. I was feeling really stressed out and we were having this challenge and then like this last week we had this conversation or this happened or I responded in this way.
And, and when they pour out their words, it’s like it’s, they’re realizing how much they’ve grown, how much like joy they have, how much courage it took to do things a different way instead of just like snapping and threatening their kids. And I’m realizing now like what an act of creative creative writing and, and questions actually are too in some, cuz you’re, you’re, you’re putting your emotions out there, you’re vulnerable. Like our group is very like very vulnerable where people are like, you know, you can like sign up to be in our positive parenting programs and come in tomorrow and be like, I smacked my kid. And we’re like, oh, I’ll sit down. You’re welcome here. Like every, you know, like we’re gonna help you.
Like there’s no shame, there’s no like, it’s just so open and honest and like, hey let’s just help you get to higher grounds. But I can see just how much courage comes out in just the act of asking a question and admitting like, Hey I’m in a really troublesome state here or this keeps happening and my spouse and I are so disconnected. So anyways, I just think I’m gonna have you riff on this for a little bit of just how a little goes a long way. But it is so beautiful how writing really does have the power to heal. So, but talk to us about this Jackie, because we are all freaking busy and it’s like, I’ve done this a million times, I actually, no, I’m not gonna even go there.
Yeah. When I wanna do something, I make it happen. So talk to us about, talk to us about five minutes a day.
Jackie:
Yeah, well so what I’ve been doing for, oh gosh, I guess the past couple years now, is trying to help encourage moms to like, I, like you said, take five, just just five minutes a day to sit down and write. And I as a mom, I know that anything that takes a little extra mental energy will make it harder for you to do. So it’s like I don’t wanna have to think. So I, I’ve, you know, on social media I’ve shared one word prompts every month as like a little structure to help get the journaling going.
It’s really just journaling and having one word, I don’t know one of the words pumpkin, I’m thinking of like Halloween word. So like pumpkin, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word pumpkin? Oh, I’m thinking about how my kids just threw the pumpkin off the, the, the deck because it’s not Halloween anymore and we said let’s feed the deers. So they got to, yeah. And so
Wendy:
That’s awesome.
Jackie:
I’m gonna write about that. And so you just sit down and write and you set the timer for five minutes and whatever came to mind with that word. You sit and write and a lot of times you end up spending more than five minutes cuz you wanna like finish your thought and all that. But you tell yourself if you really, you know, don’t have a lot of time, five minutes is enough to just sit there and write down a memory, write down a thought. And that is creative in itself. Or you’re like, oh I don’t a bluebird, when would I last? See what comes to mind? Oh and then you think of whatever and then you write it down. So that is creative. You’re stretching your mind a little bit to, to write something around that. And I’ve done it myself. I’ve put out these prompts before and I’ve forced myself to do it, you know, know for consistently sometimes.
And I go back a year later and read it. I’m like, wow, like I wrote about this thing that happened that I never would’ve remembered unless I sat down and write it. So it’s, it is really powerful. It seems really simple but that’s all it takes and I tell everybody, I mean no matter who you are, you have five minutes, you have five minutes to be able, and what I call it rather than creative writing or journaling is five minutes to connect with yourself.
Wendy:
Mm. Yeah.
Jackie:
Because you know, we’re so, I mean I’m speaking about myself but I spend so much time in my head how many times do I allow myself to write down what I’m thinking so I can actually look at it and make it real? You know what I mean? Yeah. And so just giving yourself a few minutes a day to be able to like look at your thoughts and then do something about them. So if my thoughts are very like worrying and anxious, I look at them and I say, oh wow, I’m really worried about that. What am I gonna do about it? Or how am I gonna get some support for this? Or I’m writing down all the great things that are going on in my life and I’m like, oh wow, things aren’t as bad as I thought they were. Or I’m asking the same question. You know what I mean? So like you start to see patterns when you sit there and are able to do it consistently.
But I say everybody has five minutes, take five minutes off the amount of time you spend on your phone. Take five minutes off. Yeah. You know, add five minutes to your nighttime face washing routine and add five minutes to your morning, you know, drinking a cup of coffee or tea before you get out the door. Yeah. Whatever it is. What I did as a mom of young kids was as soon as I put down my son at the time when I only had one, as soon as I put him down for his nap, I knew he’ll at least sleep for five minutes. Yeah. So I’m gonna sit down before I do anything else. I have the impulse to like clean or do work or sit down and watch something. I’m gonna make myself for five minutes. Right. And then I’ll do the next thing.
Jackie:
And that really helped me be consistent cuz I knew that that was something that more often than not was not gonna get compromised and I could get my writing done.
Wendy:
That is so cool. And even just those two prompts you just said, like they sound so silly at first and then it’s like, you know, when you say pumpkin, like instantly like my son’s first birthday and like it would’ve been my daughter’s fourth, we, we had their birthday parties at the same pumpkin patch for like two or three years and it was just like memories like flush, like flood in and like joy like makes me just wanna cry. Or like the bluebird one I think of like growing up in Maryland, right? And like through my work I, you know, I talk a lot about like things that family legacies that I don’t wanna pass on or not family legacies, like generational cycles or chains that I wanna break. I don’t, but it’s like I don’t spend as much time talking about so many of the joyful things of like where I grew up and being in this amazing family, living in the country and growing up, blah blah blah.
So I’m just like, oh my gosh, I could riff on that for five minutes for sure. And like that is so fascinating. It’s just like, I can imagine how cool that would be. Okay. I have a silly question but, and this is coming from someone, so I’m like 45 years old so I can’t even imagine the kids now who are only on the devices typing. But I swear when I write I’m like, I’m like, my gosh, my hand gets tired. Like I want it to go faster. And so like I only wanna, like, I, I have a tendency to wanna write on the computer, but I wanna be off electronics. I don’t think there’s so much of like a thing to do there with it except for just like slow down and just write, right?
But like, does that make sense? I don’t know. What are the kids gonna do now that like no one’s learning how to write?
Jackie:
Well I’ll say a couple things about that because you, you make a very good point. I saved a few different, like you brought up the science of, of the healing and I can share that a little later too. But neuroscientists have actually found that writing with your hand makes you smarter. So if that’s an I incentive for you, this is a study related to cursive, but they’ve also like expanded it to just taking notes in class and and writing by hand. And what I appreciate about writing, what writing does for me also is helped force me to be present. I mentioned that I’m like very much like an ideas person and in my head and, and I loved work
Wendy:
Me too.
Jackie:
And writing helps me slow down. Writing helps me remember things when my days feel really fast. And so having my, making myself do it by hand is just another part of like physically forcing myself to slow down and process. And that’s why it’s like I don’t, you don’t need to do it for too long by hand. When I feel like I have a story in mind that I wanna write or you know, I know I wanna write something like a blog post like you shared or, or a message to somebody, I will go on my computer and write it. Right. Like, because it’s just easier. It’s big. Yeah. And I’m trying to get my thoughts down quickly before they go. But if I’m just writing a process or I’m just doing this as like a therapeutic thing, I think the writing by hand exercises are brain in a different way and it’s a good thing too.
Yeah, it’s true. Just go back to the page and read it. What I will say is I always encourage, especially moms to write however you can. And the phone, I know we try to avoid screen time, but our phones have an amazing thing called a notes app that I’ve had moms in in my community, moms who’ve published for Motherscope, who have written amazing things on their notes app while breastfeeding at 3:00 AM you know what I mean? And yeah, it was the thing that they could grab because they’re holding a baby, they can’t grab a pen and paper, they can’t get on their computer, but they had an idea or a thought and they wanted to get it down and they used their phone. And I, I I encourage people to write however you can and whenever the inspiration strikes, cuz oftentimes we get an idea and we’re like, oh, I’ll do it later and then obviously we forget.
And so the idea is not to focus on like doing it in a perfect way or a perfect setting or a perfect amount of time, but it’s just about getting your ideas down. I think there’s something about, when I think of something that I feel is important and putting it down on a paper or on my phone, that act over and over again is a way of also telling myself that I am important and my thoughts matter and what I’m living is important. And I think those acts beyond, you know, creative enrichment beyond whatever are intentional acts that help us as parents and people.
Wendy:
It is so true. And yeah, anything that can like help our brains, right? I mean like, ha having sounds like we both have grandparents, grandma, I think you said yours is similar, you said dementia mine actually had Alzheimer’s. And it’s like, I’m always like thinking, okay, brain, like what can we do today to preserve this brain? Like every time I like, I’m always trying to learn new things or exercise my brain in a different way to like, cuz I’ve heard some different doctors just speak about different ways that we can like keep it healthy. That is very in like, in, in
Jackie:
Incentivizing.
Wendy:
Thank you. Yeah, that is, that is really good. Awesome. And so over the years, like I know you guys at Motherscope and in your community, Jackie have so many ways to support this process. So talk, so talk to us a little bit. You, so you mentioned the, the prompts like the word prompts, but talk to us a little bit more about, I know sometimes you have, you actually have like monthly prompts. You have a community where you can, like, I think I’ve seen that you guys get together and you might be on a Zoom, but you might have like a half hour where you’re just like, I’m gonna, I don’t know what it looks like. So talk to us about that. And then I do wanna know about like publishing too, right? Like I know two sides, like your published writings are so beautiful, like the compilations you have put together, whether it’s the birth stories or I know you have a new one coming out soon, postpartum stories and all of those are beautiful.
And then I, so like I wanna listeners to make sure they know where they can get those, but then also how, like what you recommend with publishing your own, because journals are one thing, but also like, it’s kind of fun to think like what if you actually publish something. So anyways, but let’s start with like, what is your community like, what are the resources that you provide to help make this easier?
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Jackie:
Well, the monthly prompts are just something that I’ve posted on Instagram every month and oh yeah, like I said, that’s like a little, just like entryway, it’s like a little freebie that I put out there now that I’ve been doing it for a few years. There’s people who follow along who’ve done it now for multiple years and they’ve shared their writing and stuff. So it’s really see amazing and just to see that that impact of something kind of, that I didn’t think was that important, right? But just wanted to put out there for fun. But since May I have, I launched the Motherscope Writers Club, which is a monthly membership and we meet four weeks out of the month every Wednesday. And we have a one hour zoom that is dedicated to just providing the space, the supports, the accountability in the community for people who want to write.
And there’s no parameters around like, are you a writer? Are you working on something specific for your writing? It’s just some, a place for people to come that they’re like, I wanna write more and this is something I wanna prioritize, so I’m gonna come and do this with other people to hold me accountable. So we’ve been doing this since May and, and each week is a little different. So like what the first week of the month is, I call it the mom salon. It’s an opportunity for us to do like an a book club that’s realistic. We read something that, you know, I pick out that I think is thought provoking to share. We read it together or listen to it if it’s like an audio book or a podcast. And then we break out into groups and have a discussion about it. And I say it’s like the one time a month you can have adult conversations with other other moms about something.
And I think a lot of ideas come from just conversation. And so we have talks about whatever was discussed in the reading and there’s always writing time at the end. The second week is a creativity workshop. So we do something creative either related to writing or that can supplement your writing and there’s writing opportunities there. The third week is our writing hour, which is uninterrupted writing time. So we open with a prompt to get everybody warmed up and then I just placed some music and we all write together. It’s via Zoom, but it’s like really powerful. And then at the end we can share. And then on alternating months there’s either a live reading, like open mic style.
So people come and bring what they’ve worked on that month and share however length it is. It’s always so powerful and special because it’s a closed community. People feel like, you know, they can share things that maybe they wouldn’t share on social media or with other people. And then on the other alternating month, I do a hot seat and that’s an opportunity for people to ask me for feedback on their writing or if they’re like stuck on something. I have writer’s block, I’m trying to finish the story of what’s going on and we talk through it and people that are listening and participating get a lot out of it because a lot of times the struggles are similar to other people. So that’s the membership, what we do inside it.
And I’m just blown away seeing what, you know, the moms in our community are able to do. And also the way we all support one another and encourage one another. The way people find time in the pockets of their day to, to show up and, and and write. And our, my philosophy with every event is come, come as you are if there’s kids on your lap or whatever. I mean, there’s mute buttons. Do what you can listen if all that’s all you can do, or use it as an excuse to have like an hour out of your day that’s just for you. Get a babysitter, have somebody watch your kids. Whatever it is that you can and want to do, this is your permission slip to do it.
And so I’ve gotten a lot about out of it and every workshop that we’ve, we’ve hosted, but the ongoing support has been really special. I mean, I’m sure you know that with the communities that you have. And so that’s like the big thing that, that I offer. I also have a podcast and Wendy, you’ve been a guest on the podcast and I am, I’m revamping it a little bit in a few weeks to focus exclusively on writing and
Wendy:
Nice
Jackie:
Mothers who write stories. So I, I’ll spotlight some, some famous authors who are mothers who write publish books. But more importantly it’s just gonna be conversations around writing and the benefits of writing and also how to like, how we, how we write, how we write certain stories. Like one of the episodes I’m gonna put out I think in January is like how to write your birth story so informational, but also just sharing stories. So that’s, that’s cool. That’s gonna be my podcast, that’s on the podcast and at the end of every episode I do leave listeners with a writing prompt at the end based on the conversation as I go away for, you know, if you heard a story about somebody’s postpartum experience as a listener at the end you’re like, oh, I’m thinking about my postpartum experience.
So I kind of challenge my listeners or encourage my listeners at the end like, sit down and, and spend some time processing what you got, what you started thinking about with your own life after listening to this conversation. And so yeah, writing prompts are everywhere, so
Wendy:
I love it.
Jackie:
So that’s the, the writing spot you did ask about the the magazines, if you got a Motherscope.com in our shop are all the past issues. Every one of them, even though, you know, there’s a few that are a couple years old now are relevant stories. There’s stories about birth stories, the motherhood experience, the one that we put out at the beginning of this year was our generations issue. And you talked about generational cycles. There’s a lot of stories that touch on that generational healing, you know, telling the story of our parents, things like that. It’s a really powerful issue that came out this year. And our postpartum issue will hopefully be available for purchase by the end of this year or early next year.
Wendy:
So good. I want all of ’em, but I especially want to get the generational one. That sounds amazing. Awesome Jackie. And then as far as like publishing goes, like do you, I guess it just depends where you choose to write, right? Like, so if you, if if you write on a computer, then you could think about like taking your pa like making each day or just just printing. But I guess there’s no, like it ju it just all depends where you were to write, right? And I guess thinking about publishing might put a little bit too much pressure on you, right? Like, so maybe just getting journals that you like to look up to make sure they always can have a place on your bookshelf maybe?
Jackie:
Yeah. I’m a big advocate for, like you mentioned journals, like trying to force yourself. I, this is something I have to like, continue to, to work on is putting all my writing in the same spot, filling up a journal. Because a lot of times I’m like writing all over the place. I write on the computer, I write on the notepad, I write on my journal and I’m like, I know I wrote this somewhere and I can’t find it. So it’s really like helpful if you can try to have it all in one place. And so if you’re writing for yourself or just, you know, like you said, like without the pressure of publishing and stuff like that, journaling, try to keep it all in the same spot. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about making sure that I separate writing from publishing because there are two separate things.
Wendy:
Yeah.
Jackie:
And so as somebody who has gone to school for writing, has worked in publishing, has published stuff myself, it’s very easy for me to think of something that I wanna write and be like, oh I wanna, you know, it’s gonna be a book or I’m gonna publish it here and this and that. And I’ve just put so much pressure on what I’m able to put down on the page. And lately I’ve been trying to write more personal stuff, write things that are more vulnerable. And if I keep thinking about who’s gonna read it or where it’s gonna get published, yeah, it, it makes me shut down. That’s like a lot of times where writer’s block comes from. And I know for people on social media and stuff, a big fear that with the writers, a lot of times that I deal with is like, well I’m gonna publish this. Yeah. But like my, you know, family members are gonna read this or friends of mine, I don’t want them to think things.
And so I just encourage people to write for themselves first and just let that sit for a while. I think with social media we have such an impulse when we’re excited about something to share it publicly. And a lot of times then we like have regrets and, you know, things happen and you know, the writing should just be for you first and a lot of times that’s enough. And then if you do feel compelled to share it in a different way, having a little bit of distance from it will help you determine where’s the right space for it. So you might have a blog or decide, feel motivated to publish a blog and share stories there. And, and that way if you have some distance, you can always edit a little bit so that if somebody, you know, that if anybody reads it, you’re not gonna feel like it compromises something that, that is too hard for you.
So I, I always recommend some distance from it. There’s a like old adage, like right from the scar and not the wound that I think is really helpful a lot of times. So if you’re writing about something that’s really, really raw, I think you should still absolutely write from it. But I don’t know if you should publish from that place. You know, you should like let yourself heal a little bit before you make it public. Things like that. Just like protecting yourself, protecting what you can handle of criticism. Cuz once you put it out there, it’s open for everybody. I know that at on some level we shouldn’t worry about what other people think, but you wanna protect yourself as well. So it’s not too, too trauma traumatizing putting it out there.
Wendy:
Yeah. And then this is like a super tat tactical question or like, but say say you ha you write all this journal stuff cuz you know, the first point we talked about like preserving our legacy, right? And like a legacy is just for you but it’s also for your family, right? So like this idea of like just writing for you but then going back and realizing, well maybe some of the stuff I don’t want in the, the legacy. So there’s not like apps or something that you could just take a picture of your journal, your handwritten journal and have it be typed out into something. Is there,
Jackie:
Oh goodness. I mean I, I’m sure there are
Wendy:
Probably people you could hire something to do that.
Jackie:
Yeah, I mean I’m, I’m abs I’m sure that I know. Well actually I do wanna share there is on your iPhone you can actually copy text and I think it does copy it and like transcribe it into text. Like I think you can even do it on your iPhone. It might depend on
Wendy:
Like a handwritten
Jackie:
Journal I think. So
Wendy:
That’s interesting. There’s gotta Be something out there, right?
Jackie:
Yeah. But I’m sure there’s things like that out there. I think there’s becoming more and more capabilities for pictures to be transcribed. Oftentimes though, like if you write in a journal, even if it’s like two pages, if you actually just sat down to type it out. Oh, true. It’s not that much. And it could be helpful with like editing. So it’s like if you wanna, like if you write something, you could write it down. What I was gonna encourage actually, which might be similar to what you were saying is if you write some, like I was thinking about your members and when they share something that’s really vulnerable or special in, in your group. Yeah. I would say like encourage them to print it out and, and stick it in their kid’s box or whatever, you know, memory books or however they, they do, they have stuff. I haven’t been as organized as I wanna be with when it comes to like baby books and stuff like that.
Yeah. But I do have a box for each of my kids and if every once in a while, sometimes I’ll find something that I wrote about one of them and I’m like, oh, that’s actually really sweet. I’m gonna stick it in their box. So at the end of the day I know it’s in there and, and it’ll get to them in some regard. Even if people book as as perfect as I want it to, it’s there. And so, I don’t know if this really answers your question, but I think
Wendy:
That, yeah, no, that’s helpful. I think just, that’s really helpful.
Jackie:
Print writing it down, sticking it in a, a place that you know, that is dedicated to them or wherever you want it to go is like a small step in the right direction.
Wendy:
Yes, absolutely. And you could, yeah, there’s a, there’s a lot of different different ways on that I can get. So like, like real, like realistic with stuff sometimes, but they, I, I’m just trying to like get this middle ground cuz the act of like the right, like I like the idea of like challenging myself to write in cursive. Like I’m gonna like take this challenge this week and just see what happens if I try to really force myself to slow down and write in cursive because I just love the idea of that because I do find myself wanting to like rush through my writing sometimes and it’s like this odd thing. But there’s a lesson there. There’s a lesson there. So I’m gonna kind of just play around with that this week and see, see what it brings.
But Jackie, this has been so beautiful. Oh my gosh, you’re amazing and your work is amazing and I can’t wait for families who are listening to go find and read more about Motherscope. So tell everyone where can they find you, what’s the best place to start? If they are inspired and wanna start writing more, tell everyone where to find you.
Jackie:
Well I am mostly on Instagram when it comes to the, so social media channels, that is often a great place to go to. Just see all the different things that are going on with Motherscope. The website also Motherscope.com has everything. I just like relaunched it earlier this year so
Wendy:
It looks beautiful.
Jackie:
All the different things you can check out. If you wanna read stories, they’re there. If you wanna, you know, listen to the podcast, you can hop there and see that. If you wanna check out the shop for the different issues, it’s all there for you. And I would love if you did listen to the episode and find out about Motherscope to send me a message on Instagram and just let me know so that we can have a conversation there.
Wendy:
Yeah, that would be so good. Oh, I love it. And we’ll make sure we link the podcast where I was on your show, Positive Parenting – I think it’s called – with Wendy Snyder. So we’ll make sure we link that so they can go find your podcast easily and start listening. But Jackie, thank you so much for being here. This has been really fun.
Jackie:
Thank you so much for having me, Wendy.
Wendy:
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Stella:
For more information, go to freshstartfamilyonline.com. Thanks for listening, families, have a great day.
