In this insightful episode, Wendy Snyder tackles the vulnerable topic of financial well-being within families, addressing the imperative need to break harmful generational cycles related to money management. The conversation unveils the subconscious patterns that influence our financial behaviors and how they potentially impose lasting effects on future generations.
Wendy opens up about her own financial healing journey, revealing how it has significantly impacted not only her professional success but also her family life and personal growth. The episode delves into the deep-seated beliefs and emotions tied to money, and Wendy shares her revelations on how generational patterns have shaped her own experiences with finances. Addressing the prevalent yet seldom-discussed issues around money management, she provides listeners with strategies to cultivate financial health and create a positive legacy for their children.
Episode Highlights:
- The necessity of financial healing and the profound impact it can have on personal well-being and family dynamics.
- Understanding the patterns of generational financial behaviors and how they are subconsciously passed down.
- The correlation between nervous system regulation and financial behaviors, highlighting the importance of addressing internal narratives around money.
- Five generational cycles related to finances that Wendy Snyder is committed to breaking, providing a blueprint for listeners to forge their own paths to financial health.
- Encouragement to seek knowledge and tools that foster financial clarity, abundance, and generational prosperity
Resources Mentioned:
Fresh Start Family Online: freshstartfamilyonline.com/relax
Wendy’s Instagram: @freshstartwendy
Not able to listen or prefer to read along? Here’s the transcript!
0:00:02 – (Wendy): Well, hey there, families, and welcome to a new episode of the Fresh Start Family show. I’m your host, Wendy Snyder, positive parenting educator and family life coach. And I’m so happy that you are here. Today we are going to be chatting about five financial painful generational cycles to break the chain and not hand down to your kids. And man, am I excited to talk to you about this. This subject definitely feels vulnerable. This podcast episode, it’s one of those ones that this morning, I was like, God, are you sure?
0:00:40 – (Wendy): Are you sure? We need to record this and tell everyone my business and all about the junk in my trunk, so to speak. And I definitely heard a yes. And he was like, you know, this is going to be fun. This is going to really help some people, Wendy. And that’s really all I need to hear. Right? I am in the business of helping people, even if that means telling really vulnerable stories and helping you all feel like you are not alone. And I know that if I have experienced suffering or hardship or stress in this area, I know that so many of you have also experienced or are currently experiencing stress or suffering in this area.
0:01:29 – (Wendy): So that’s all I need to go ahead and pull the trigger on following what I believe God’s calling me into encouraging you with. And so that’s what we’re here to do today. And when it comes to financial healing, it’s been so interesting to. To really just watch God use this form of healing in my own life to unlock so many other things, especially when it comes to nervous system regulation and healing work. And I just really would have never guessed that this would have been what would have unlocked so much for me, uh, being. Being financial healing. I was actually just chatting with a friend a few days ago as we were on a walk, and she’s actually healing, still healing after decades from an eating disorder.
0:02:20 – (Wendy): And she was talking about how she’s reading a book, a new book, and she’s just like, wow. I could just tell. She was so excited. She could not wait to tell me. She probably. I just let her go on and on and on for the first half hour of a walk about how excited she was to be learning about so many different ways to see what was actually happening in her mind as she’s struggled with this and just was so excited to be unlocking new levels of understanding.
0:02:56 – (Wendy): And specifically, I think she was really motivated lately because she’s watching her eight year old little girl start to have some of the same symptoms that she knows represents an eating disordered or a disordered relationship with food. And so it’s breaking her heart on even a higher level. And I know, as an educator, that what we don’t heal will usually, 99% of the time, get passed down to our children.
0:03:26 – (Wendy): And it’s just the weirdest, trippiest thing because it’s not like we’re sitting there trying. It’s not like we’re teaching our children this stuff, right? Like, we don’t wake up and say, gosh, that would be really fun if we pass down this generational cycle of believing that something’s wrong with our body, if we’re not perfectly skinny or thin the way we want to. And so we’re going to have a disordered relationship with food for the rest of her life. And I’d like to teach you how to do that. Child, of course not.
0:03:57 – (Wendy): That’s not what we’re doing. And our children learn so much through what is caught, not taught. And so it was just so clear as I was listening to my girlfriend talk that, and listening to some of the things that she’s watching her little girl do now, that it was something that was caught by her little girl, not taught. And now all of a sudden, my friend has unlocked this incredible, gosh, just new level of learning, and it’s really clicking. I can just tell. She just had so emotion. And for me, it’s a good sign when I see people having a lot of emotion and letting themself feel it. Because healing is feeling.
0:04:42 – (Wendy): Suppression is what keeps us in suffering. Feeling like we can’t talk about something or that we have to hide something or that we’re the only one struggling with something, which usually equates to shame. That’s what keeps us stuck in doing the same behavior every single day and continuing to create the life that we don’t want. But I could just tell this new book, right, this $15 book that my friend got is really unlocking so much. And at one point, she was just saying, again, she’s just got so many levels of shame, like most of us do. But at one point, she said, I just can’t believe that it’s taken me this long and that I feel like I should have done your course. Wendy Moore, freedom to be, or I should have done this. And it’s been decades, and I’m still struggling with this. And now my little girl is now struggling.
0:05:36 – (Wendy): And she said, I just wish I would have read this book so long ago. And I was encouraging her with the. With the truth that oftentimes we are ready for the healing when we’re ready. And when we experience something like this book for my friend or for me, this financial healing program that unlocked so much, it doesn’t discount everything that we’ve done in the past. Everything that we’ve done in the past for me, I’ve been on a journey of like, personal liberation.
0:06:05 – (Wendy): That’s what I call self. Self development or healing together with God. I’ve been on a 14 year journey. And so for her, all the work and therapies and, you know, things that she did to try to heal herself or get healing were not wasted time or she’s not an idiot for not having it really click until now. It’s just something about this season of her life. She just left a career. You know, she was somewhere for 20 years.
0:06:34 – (Wendy): There’s something about this season of life that all of a sudden the healing is happening. It’s clicking. And yes, it came through a book, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter how it came through. The fact is, just all of the pieces of the puzzle are really starting to be put together and I’m just really excited for her. So that’s kind of how it’s been for me with the financial healing piece is just all of a sudden it’s created an awareness and an understanding of my nervous system that is on a whole new level.
0:07:12 – (Wendy): And hopefully you listened to last week’s podcast episode about five signs that your child’s misbehavior is not the problem. What I taught you about last week was how. How really a lot of times we’ll spend like sometimes decades trying to fix our kid or focus on what’s wrong with them when they have really annoying misbehaviors. Especially if you have a strong willed kid and they’re just like professionals, it seems, at pushing your buttons.
0:07:41 – (Wendy): But a lot of people miss the memo that those are actually just signs that oftentimes we need deeper healing than what we were aware of before we had children, especially strong little kids. So that’s a really good episode. Make sure you go listen to that if you haven’t yet. I also, in the beginning, start to just kind of reveal a little bit more about my own financial healing journey and what that’s looked like, and start to teach you a little bit more about the nervous system and how it affects your parenting, how it affects your finances. And also talk about my mentor, Kate Northrub, who is actually having a free workshop in a few days. It’s April 23 through 25th and you can learn more by heading to freshstartfamilyonline.com/relax
0:08:30 – (Wendy): if you want to jump in on that. But back to about eight months ago, when I first started to step in to this financial healing land, was when I had stumbled upon another really challenging season where as a business owner, we had just come off another push. You can call them a push if you’re not in the entrepreneurial world. We call them launches. But basically we do a big marketing push where we focus all of our efforts on spreading the message, inviting people into a free resource that we offer. And then we, at the end, invite people into our program because we know that’s how we actually are going to get to help people in the greatest capacity.
0:09:21 – (Wendy): Um, as I mentioned with my friend’s story, there’s all like, there are so many different things that will unlock people’s healing. So some of you listen to this podcast or will read my book that will come out in 2025 and really just have massive healing unlocked. And most people, when it comes to really transforming their, their, you know, their legacy, when it comes to their own life and their family, for most people, that’s going to come through extended mentorship and an actual program. And so we know by getting families into our actual programs, where we are, we have time to actually spend more than a 1 minute clip on Instagram or even a 60 minutes podcast episode. We know that when we get people into our programs, that’s where we can really get to work changing and saving lives.
0:10:13 – (Wendy): And so it was after one of our launches and I had just gotten a message that I got really triggered by. And it’s incredible how unkind people can be. And this is nothing new to me. I’m. I’m, you know, feel like I’m a pro at this point with getting some daggers thrown at me. I talked about this in last week’s episode, and it’s just sometimes it just kind of feels like the straw that breaks the camel’s back. Especially when you are someone who has poured your life savings into creating an organization to help again change and save lives. When I say save lives, I’m not exaggerating. We really get messages quite often of people deciding not to end their lives or kids who, you know, end up, you know, parents find out they’ve been abused by the neighbor for years, and the parents say if it wasn’t for this work, we would have been disciplining our kids in a much different way. That would have shut them down and never opened up the conversation to have them reveal that they were getting abused, leading to severe depression and anxiety. Down the road. Like, just the stuff we do behind the scenes is pretty freaking rad.
0:11:30 – (Wendy): And so when I say changing and saving lives, I really mean it, right? But sometimes it can just get really exhausting because it just takes a lot to build a business. It takes a lot to build a profitable business. And sometimes when you get those daggers thrown at you that are just really ridiculous, like, I know at this point it’s just a suffering person that does not know what they’re doing. Like, please God, forgive them for they know not what they do type of thing. But this one comment came at me and it just really hit me. And I ended up just having a few days of, like, a deep depression and just thinking, like, what am I doing?
0:12:10 – (Wendy): Maybe I should just go be a normal person and get a job where I don’t think about my work. 27 just take a paycheck, right? And that did not happen because that’s not who I am. Like, I literally, this is my life’s mission. I will never give up on this. And things are just feeling so much better than they were eight months ago. But when I was in that little seas, that little pit of depression for a few days, I had actually, one of my team members reach out to me and she had said that she had gotten a vision from God. And she actually didn’t know much about this little mini depression that I was in.
0:12:56 – (Wendy): And she reached out and she said, wendy, I know this may sound weird, but I had this vision. She’s like, I forget what it’s called when you’re really. She’s at a. I think she calls it a charismatic church where her church just sounds incredible, but she’s like, we just do a lot of visioning. And I forget how she explains it, but it just. All I can say is that it sounds like they’re doing amazing things at her church.
0:13:28 – (Wendy): And she said to me, wendy, I’ve really been praying for you. And I’ve just felt this, like, very big need all of a sudden to pray really deeply for you and for fresh start family. And she said, I got to tell you, God gave me this image, and I hope it doesn’t sound weird to share this with you, but it was this image of a lotus flower. I don’t know if she said a lotus flower. No, she said one of the flowers on a lily pond. So I guess it was a lily flower.
0:13:59 – (Wendy): And she said, this is going to bring up some beautiful emotion as I share this story because it was so awesome. She said, you’re like a flower on a pond, one of those lily flowers that it’s waterproof. And even when it gets dunked, like, in a heavy rainstorm, it just pops back up and it keeps going and it keeps growing. And she said, that’s this image I have of you. And again, I’m going to tell you that I had not shared with this team member. She’s actually a newer team member, is actually interning firm for us. She’s a beautiful graduate of a past become a parenting coach cohort. And she had said to me, hey, Wendy, I just want to work with you in any capacity, and I’d love to, like, be on your internship team and start coaching so I can just be immersed in your world. And so I really don’t chat with her that much. My team members manage her, and she’s incredible. Like, what an honor it is to have her on our team. So she did not know anything about what was happening, and she said, so, God, give me this image that this is what you are. And as I was listening, I was bawling.
0:15:15 – (Wendy): She had left me this voice memo on this communication app we use called Slack. And I was thinking, like, I love this, and I don’t want to be the freaking lily flower. I don’t want to keep getting dunked and have to come up and be this resilient, never give up type. I just want to thrive, right? Like, I just want to. And so as I’m bawling, she says, and with that image, he also gave me this image of, like, this is where it gets kind of sad, of a deep disease or root, like, root sickness.
0:15:53 – (Wendy): And she’s like, all I can say is that this was, like, a very clear image of something, of some type of sickness or corruption. I guess corruption was not the word she used. It was like, infection at the root of. She says, I don’t know if it’s fresh start family, but it’s, like, at the root of the plant. And that’s the image she kept getting, is, like, some type of sickness at the. At the root that needed healing or something like that. And again, I’m bawling because I had just found Kate’s financial healing program. I had just attended her free workshop and really signed up to be mentored by her. And again, I’m just bawling because I had realized that when it came to my organization and not feeling like I was thriving as a human being doing what I do, because, again, in the parenting world, I’m, like, thriving, right? Like, in my family, in my marriage, I just, oh, my gosh, I can’t tell you how good it feels to be at the place where I just.
0:17:03 – (Wendy): I just feel so confident. I feel so connected to my kids. I feel like, you know, you guys know, you probably have heard me speak a million times of just how I feel. Like I sit at the summit of just thriving, the top of the mountain, so to speak, when it comes to parenting. But when it comes to entrepreneurship, it just still feels like it’s a. It’s a hard thing. And. And on one hand, I love my work so much, and I cannot wait.
0:17:29 – (Wendy): Like, right now, I’m recording at, like, 06:00 a.m.? Right, on a Monday morning, because I just. I sit down. I can’t wait to get to my work. I have coaching today at 09:00 a.m. I can’t wait to see my students. I cannot wait to see them flourish. Like, that side of my work just lights me up. It’s the best thing ever. And then when you get to the financials and investing and being able to, like, really feel calm and, like you are doing and building something that is going to make you healthy and benefit your family, like, that’s where I get hung up.
0:18:08 – (Wendy): Because, like Kayla mentioned, it felt like there was a sickness, like something felt like it was not working, and that something was finances. And this is where it gets vulnerable, because, again, I just want you guys to know, like, it’s not that big of a deal. We don’t need to hide what we’re suffering with. And the more we actually just be real humans together, the more we feel connected, the more we feel safe with one another, and the more we feel like we’re not alone.
0:18:36 – (Wendy): So at that point, it had been, I think, five and a half years since I founded this organization, and it was yet another year where I hadn’t hit my goals financially, where I wasn’t, like, ending the year. Like, yes, we’re killing it. Yes, I paid my employees. Yes, we are. Air quotes, fine. But we weren’t financially abundant. And one of the massive signs of not being financially abundant again, last week’s episode, five signs your child’s misbehavior is not the problem.
0:19:10 – (Wendy): It’s like, what’s actually the problem is you need to heal on a deeper level. But one of the signs for me that we, we. I needed deeper healing was that I still was not taking a paycheck. This feels really embarrassing, and you may think it’s crazy if you’re not an entrepreneur, you’re probably like, how could you do what you do, Wendy, and not take a paycheck. Yeah, I guess it’s really common. There’s a book called profit first that God put in my life at this time.
0:19:41 – (Wendy): And the author just so beautifully normalizes this behavior in the first chapter right out the gate. And the stat is pretty darn high, especially when it comes to mission driven entrepreneurs, that they don’t take a paycheck, and then they run themselves into the ground, they burn out, and their company burns down. Like, you give up, you end up throwing in the towel, filing for bankruptcy, and you’re just like, I can’t do this. Right? Like, I.
0:20:06 – (Wendy): My health can no longer be sacrificed for this business. So he normalizes this. But it was just, like, at the time, very embarrassing. It was something I kind of hid. Even when I had an accounting meeting at the end of the month, I would always just prioritize everybody else over myself, and it was leading to massive suffering, because when you’re not taking a paycheck, it just. It’s a lot of work. It’s a lot of work, especially when you’re working 50, 60 hours weeks, and you just keep thinking, okay, next month, next quarter, the revenue is going to skyrocket, and then I can take a paycheck, and it’s coming, it’s coming, it’s coming.
0:20:49 – (Wendy): And then another quarter goes by, and it doesn’t happen. Right. So that was, like, the biggest symptom that was happening. Even though we were, like, you know, making ends meet, so to speak, I was not thriving, and I was actually really sick. About five years ago, when I started this organization, I hit a season where all of a sudden, I was like, oh, I’m starting to get really tired. And I just started to feel like I was having a lot of health stuff happen.
0:21:28 – (Wendy): Turns out in that season, I’m pretty sure that’s when I started to get hashimoto’s, which often is a thyroid condition known for, like, as being a stress response. So. And a lot of people with. With a lot of entrepreneurs end up getting a autoimmune disease because we just are really good at running ourselves into the ground. And so five years into this, I’m like, wow, I am really kind of unhealthy, even though I try so hard to be healthy. And this last year has been, again, massive. Like, quit drinking alcohol. That’s one of the things that they really recommend for people with autoimmune diseases, is the nutrition side of things is just phenomenal. What you can do to heal yourself.
0:22:16 – (Wendy): And so I’ve been like, twelve weeks now. Gluten, dairy, soy free. I’ve been alcohol free for a year. But all the nutrition in the world can’t change what’s inside. And so when I stepped into Kate’s world, I had this knowing of, like, something is deep down that is, like, really sick inside of me. And I’m pretty sure it has to do with finances. And I told Terry, even before I found Kate’s program, I’m pretty sure it’s me.
0:22:47 – (Wendy): Like, because we would have these conversations, like, why is the parenting industry such a tough nut to crack? You know, I hang out in a lot of places that there are high level business people, high level mentors, and, you know, I have a lot of colleagues that are in business to business markets, right, where they’re selling programs that help you make money or they’re selling things that, you know, like, Terry sells sunglasses, right? Like, he’s the VP of creative at a sunglass brand called blenders. And I know I’m over here selling, like, life changing, transformative courses and telling people, hey, come on in. It’s going to be really fun to heal your most inner, like, darkness, and, like, come on, it’ll be fun, I promise you. And, you know, for a long time, I was just like, this is just a tougher industry.
0:23:42 – (Wendy): This is just, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then I look at people like Tony Robbins, and I’m like, actually, that’s probably not true because Tony Robbins is killing it. He’s a gajillionaire. It’s not the industry. I’m pretty sure it’s me. And for a while, Terry was like, honey, don’t do that to yourself. It’s not. It’s not you. It’s just that it’s a lot harder to convince parents to step into learning than it is to help people step into a program that’s going to make them money. And I was like, yes, you’re right. And something is up the deep. Like, something is there.
0:24:13 – (Wendy): And so anyways, I hopped into Kate’s free workshop and joined her program. And then it was just a few days later that I got this message from my team member that just, again, I was bawling because I knew it was true. And so that is what, uh, happened before I embarked on this eight month journey. And I just knew every step of the way that there was something deep down inside of me, whether you call it a sickness or a rot. I think that might have been a word that my team member used, like, in her vision from God.
0:24:48 – (Wendy): There was some type of, like, deep rot, which I was like, lovely, lovely. But, hey, once I’m aware of something, I want it freaking gone, right? Like, we just opened up our ceiling in our house to make sure we had a small leak, and we just did everything under the sun to make sure we did not have mold, because we were just like, no, we cannot live day to day thinking that there might be mold from an old leak that we didn’t check. So we paid a few grand, opened up the roofs, finally just got it closed up this last weekend. Because if we are even thinking there might be something that is rotting house from the inside out, we have to get rid of it, right? And so that’s kind of how I feel about anything in our own lives, whether it comes to parenting, finances, marriage, whatever.
0:25:35 – (Wendy): If there is suffering, there’s probably a deep rooted us that would be very smart for all of us to find out what it is. So as I stepped into Kate’s program after her free workshop, um, it all just started to make sense, and I started to become really aware of some things that helped me have compassion for myself about how I had gotten to this place where I was just making ends meet. Like, that was the pattern for me.
0:26:08 – (Wendy): And back when I first got out of college, I was actually, like, really abundant financially for quite some time. I had gone to school for marketing and fashion merchandising and was in a. In a job where I was an event planner. Had, like, loved my career. I loved my career, and I was making really, really good money. Terry and I were doing great before we had kids. Like, you know, just felt like there was an abundance, right? Like, it was a season of life where we were buying boats and traveling the world and staying in nice hotels and, yeah, it just.
0:26:43 – (Wendy): It felt like we were abundant. And at the same time, I can even see back then how instead of saving more, I was getting really good at spending it. And. And then once I had kids and I stopped working, there was some behaviors, now that I can look back at that, I’m like, oh, that was dysregulated management of finances. And especially, like, after I started to hit a rocky season of parenting and I was actually on disability, I had, like, a really bad surfing industry and had surfing, uh, injury and had to have multiple surgeries on my shoulder. And I just remember, like, shopping, like, spending the money, because I feel like I. It was. It felt like extra money at the time.
0:27:33 – (Wendy): And now I look back to that season and realize that I never felt safe receiving money and stacking money. And so I would get rid of it really fast. And so that’s kind of when I became really good at shopping and thinking that by, you know, and I would justify it all over the place. Like, I’m expressing myself through fashion. I was a fashion major, right? Like, of course, it makes sense for me to spend my money and have a significant shopping habit because that brings me joy and blah, blah, blah.
0:28:06 – (Wendy): But as I look back, I’m like, oh, okay. That was. There were some symptoms there. And then. And then once I became an entrepreneur, that’s really when it started to become highlighted where it was in plain sight. The pattern was it was always just enough with a really strong fear that there was not going to be enough. And every single month, for the most part, we would get to a place where we were fine. We were never, like, you know, in the red so much that we were filing for bankruptcy or anything. It was, like, always just enough. Which, surprise, surprise, mimics my childhood upbringing.
0:28:46 – (Wendy): So what I learned in this financial healing world is that a lot of times, our nervous system will mimic what we grew up with. And so we grew up in homes where we absorb the energy and the feeling around things in our home. So, in our parenting world, what I teach and help my students understand is that a lot of times, we’re gonna. Our nervous system is gonna absorb the feeling around mistakes and the feeling around conflict, and we absorb that. And then as we become older and have our own children, it then gets exhibited in plain sight that we’re.
0:29:34 – (Wendy): Things are a shit show. When our kids spill their milk, our nervous system freaks out. It feels like it’s a four alarm fire. Right? Because we’ll get into that more later. I’m not going to riff so much on parenting today, but it’s just so clear how in our home for 18 years, our nervous system gets really conditioned in certain ways. And then as we become adults, it then plays out that kind of. That same thing.
0:30:05 – (Wendy): And a lot of people don’t have awareness around this, and so they keep creating the reality that they don’t want. And instead of getting to the root cause of it and changing, they end up blaming their kids or their spouse or their circumstances or themselves, which is shame, and keeps them stuck. So, fast forward back to money and being in a place where I started to see that my financial reality was this, just enoughness.
0:30:38 – (Wendy): And as I started to look back to my childhood, I started to have some really beautiful, clear memories. And I say beautiful because, you know, my parents are human, right? Like, we’re all human. We’re doing our best. My parents did a great job raising me, and of course, they had some things that they passed down to me because they didn’t have the opportunity to heal from this right now. I do. So you better believe that I’m not going to pass these things down to my kids.
0:31:11 – (Wendy): And, you know, I’ll highlight in a minute here these five things that I encourage you not to pass down either. And yours may be different than mine, and you’ll learn that in Kate’s, in Kate’s workshop. Like, you know, you’ll start to have your eyes open to what your patterns are or your family lineage’s patterns are. But for me, you know, it was like thinking back and starting to see, okay, I remember there was this memory that came up early on in the program of me sitting with my dad. So I was full adult by this point. My dad was probably 78 or so, and backtrack for a second.
0:31:49 – (Wendy): So my story is, I. I grew up in Maryland, and it was like, I’d call it like a. I guess it’d be like a lower middle class home or middle class home. We actually did fine. We always had enough. We had enough for groceries. We had enough for, for the most part, things we all wanted. We. We traveled. We went skiing every year. Um, we went to the beach every summer. My dad had a job with the government that he hated, but he did for whatever, 40 years or something.
0:32:20 – (Wendy): Um, my mom had the blessing of being able to stay home and. And be a air quote, stay at home mom and take care of us. And so we were this middle class family. And again, I will tell you that it. The feeling of just enough, or the fear of not having enough or, like, scrinching on money, always, like, buying the store brands, feeling like there wasn’t enough. I mean, I could just tell my little nervous system absorbed that from such a young age.
0:32:50 – (Wendy): And I’ve done a lot of work around money over the years, but it just always felt like there was a sadness, like a deep sadness and worry and fear around money. And so, you know, the more I spent time thinking back, the more I could think of all these situations where it was just so clear that this was the energy that was carried in my house was this, like, sadness and fear. And so I remember, even as an adult, sitting there. I came home one year and sitting in the kitchen around the wooden stove, same house I grew up in that I was born in.
0:33:25 – (Wendy): And my dad’s sitting there writing a check at this point. He’s 78 years old. And he looks down at his checkbook and he’s this southern man. It’s really funny. My mom is like me. She talks a mile a minute, very, like, talkative. And then my dad, like, barely speaks. He is. And when he does speak, he gets going, but he is from the south, was born in Raleigh, North Carolina, and he talks really low, and you have to, like, lean in to hear him.
0:33:52 – (Wendy): And he looks at his checkbook and he goes, wow, that’s crazy. There’s just enough to get by. There’s just. Just enough. And he might have even said, like, there’s $2 left in the bank account after I pay the heat this month. And I just remember being like, holy shit, I can’t believe you just said that to your adult daughter. And there was, like, a panic that went off in me. This was way before I started.
0:34:23 – (Wendy): I actually. This was, like, probably when I started my first financial healing program, like, three years ago, I did one that was amazing, but it didn’t click like Kate’s did. And so I just remember looking at him thinking, my God, that’s so sad. And like, oh, my God, I have to take care of my parents in ten years. And is money this tight? Like, I just remember feeling this constriction in my body and thinking, oh, my God, this is not good. Right? Like, and just how sad.
0:34:52 – (Wendy): And why are you telling, like, this is, like, why are you putting this on me? What do you want me to do? What am I supposed to do? I don’t know. And so that’s one memory that came up. I also have, like, so many memories of just feeling from a very young age, very bad, when my parents would spend money. So there’s like this. If any of you are of my age, in your fourth decade of life, maybe in your forties, I’m 47 now, but we had this store called Benetton, and it was like, the coolest store in the Columbia mall.
0:35:26 – (Wendy): And I remember my mom would, like, one time she wanted to buy me this green wool coat. And I just remember walking away from it because it just felt like it was going to be too much to allow my parents to spend on me. And I probably was like, twelve at the time. And at that point, at that point, I already had this deep feeling of feeling bad taking their money, even though it was like it was a jacket that was going to keep me warm.
0:35:56 – (Wendy): I had already, by that young age, absorbed the energy of sadness and fear that there was not enough. And I just remember walking away thinking, it’ll be fine, I’ll just wear another jacket. Like a cheaper jacket. But like holding that stance as a kid, I just feel like is really intense already at the age of eleven or twelve. And I also have a memory of like being in 10th grade and I was so excited to make the varsity cheerleading squad and we were going to nationals in Florida and we were all supposed to buy these sweatshirts that had like the big ah on the front.
0:36:33 – (Wendy): And I just remember like not even asking my parents because I felt too bad knowing that they were going to have to buy this like $80 sweatshirt. And so I just told the squad, hey, my parents like, I can’t do this, it’s too much. And all the squad chipped in to get me the sweatshirt, which then again made me feel bad. Not made me feel bad, I felt bad about. And just remember, I just remember feeling like a failure all around. Like ugh.
0:37:04 – (Wendy): Like my parents, I can’t ask them because I know that they don’t have the money and even if they do say they do, I’m going to feel bad taking it. And this was like, I don’t remember thinking these thoughts, but now I remember this is how it played out and that just felt like crap. I remember watching my mom never have her hands on the finances. It was always something that seemed to be given to my dad, not given to my dad, but my dad managed the finances. And my mom would always make this joke about, oh, you just put it on the little plastic card and the big man above pays it. That’s not how she said it.
0:37:40 – (Wendy): I don’t know exactly how she said it, but it was like still this running joke that she says like, oh, you just put it on the little plastic card and then George just pays it or someone just pays it. Right? And I came from a family that we never had debt. Like, I now call them invoices for blessings received. We never carried invoices for blessings already received. But that was the joke. And now I realize it was just kind of a way of my mom saying, you know, I’ll just, I’m really great at buying the groceries and doing the things, but I’m not managing the money. He is right. And so again, that became something that I replicated in my adult life.
0:38:22 – (Wendy): And then here’s the big one that is really just so clear now that I, I look back and understand how my nervous system was conditioned is that my, I come from a family that really, really admired the struggling working man, the blue collar worker, which, come on, I do too. I love the good old american blue collar worker. But holy smokes, my parents, like, feel like they idolized the blue collar worker because they were blue collar workers, right? Like, yes, my dad wore a suit and tie and worked for the government, but he just was like a southern boy at his heart.
0:39:03 – (Wendy): I think my dad probably would have been happiest, like, with a farming career on tractors, like, with his hands in the dirt. But he was. Probably had his own financial hang ups and thought, this is what you have to do, right, to make money in life, and you have to go sit at a desk doing something you hate. And so he ended up miserable in his career. But he, you know, it’s like both him and my mom, they just really idolized the blue collar worker. And so I come from, on my mom’s side, a family lineage of irish people who came to America with nothing, right? Like, worked their way up from nothing and still, like, you know, just live the lifestyle of not abundance, right? So all the stories of my family lineage is, like, just getting by, like, you know, doing what you need to do to make it, make it work. The most famous story in my family lineage is my third great grandfather or second great grandfather.
0:40:12 – (Wendy): His mom and dad both died. So he had, like, a stepmom sneak him on to a livestock boat somehow. This is a story. And he was 13 years old. He came to America from Ireland and met his cousins here. Or his older brothers, maybe. I think it was his older brothers in New York, ended up in Boston, ended up migrating out to Kansas. And he made it right? Like, he made his life here. And thank God, because now Wendy Snyder is here.
0:40:45 – (Wendy): And again, all the stories are, like, the suffering that he had to endure to get here and the, you know, just story after story of, like, the working man being this, like, amazing person, which again, they are, like, the person that lives that life is amazing. And it was combined with a disgust for people with money. And so in my town where I grew up, it’s like, you know, you have, like, my little farmhouse and, like, this beautiful, huge plot of land, and then you have, like, mansions.
0:41:24 – (Wendy): Like, we live right outside of Washington, DC and Baltimore. And so it’s like, I do, like, I look at these houses and I’m like, holy smokes. These neighborhoods where I would guess they’re like twelve to 15 bedroom houses. And they’re beautiful. I mean, they’re absolutely beautiful. But I do look inside thinking, wow. Like, I love to know, like, how they are actually using that space. Like, do they have ten kids in there or do they just have, like, a crazy big house and just the normal, you know, family of four or six or whatever.
0:41:55 – (Wendy): Not normal, but you know what I mean. And so my whole life, as we drove by these, these mansions, still to this day, still to this day, my parents are driving me back to the airport. My mom will almost throw up in her mouth when she sees these mansions. And, or she’s watching her news, she’ll just be like, ew. Oh, like, how dare these people? They think they can do anything they want because they have money.
0:42:20 – (Wendy): And when we drive by these mansions, I’ll say, oh, my God, the trees are coming in. Like they planted trees there. They look beautiful. And she’ll just go, ugh, it looks God awful. I can’t imagine. Just, like, the waste of money. And my mom is so funny and fun. One of the most caring people on the planet. And she’s so cynical. So cynical. She’s just really good at, like, calling out people’s flaws, especially when it comes to air quotes, rich people.
0:42:51 – (Wendy): And so I realized that over the years, like, you, you know, any human being, when they’re in the presence of that, you can’t help but absorb that. And so once I was in this financial healing program, I realized that as much as in my logical brain, that’s not how I saw the, saw the world. I spent so many years, right? And especially when I was in my corporate career. I mean, we were at fancy dinners.
0:43:18 – (Wendy): We would stay at the penthouses of hotels. I was just, like, comfortable with around money, especially when it comes to spending other people’s money. Like, when I was an event planner, I was spending these, planning these lavish parties for our corporation, whining and dining, like, our highest levels customers. But in my, like, it didn’t matter if rationally I saw the world like that. When it came to creating my own organization and then getting really good at receiving money, what I realized is that I definitely had a blockage around that. And it was subconscious because my nervous system did not feel safe accepting money and becoming a wealthy woman.
0:44:03 – (Wendy): Because if I did, that probably was going to be judged by my mom and dad. Like, there was already, like, fear of judgment around my parents. I was always, like, kind of the black sheep or the rainbow unicorn of my family. I was always felt very different from a very young age. Moved to California when I was 18 years old. And, you know, over the years, I’ve always been very health conscious and always felt like my parents kind of looked at me like I was an alien. Like, what is the big deal? Just eat the pork and beans.
0:44:34 – (Wendy): But now you’re a vegetarian. Or, wendy, just, you know, can’t you just eat the cheese? And I’m like, no, I’ll have salad because now I’m dairy free. Right? Like, there was this level of, like, feeling like I didn’t fit in with my family very young. And then add on top of that, if I were. Again, this is on a subconscious level because rationally it’s not. This is not how it works. Like, you don’t think about things rationally. You behave often from this subconscious place.
0:45:01 – (Wendy): But if I want started to become very wealthy and make a lot of money, again, the more money you make, the more you can give away, the more wonderful things you can do in the world. Money is not bad. A lot of us were taught money is the root of all evil. It’s such not truth. Yes, if you do bad things with money, but if you do good things with money, money is wonderful. It’s just a resource. That’s all it is.
0:45:27 – (Wendy): But in my little paved nervous system, I really can see now how I was not comfortable receiving it. So I would spend it fast. And, you know, because as much as. As we grow older, if we don’t heal, what is causing suffering, we will just keep repeating the cycle, so to speak. And so, and I think deep down within all of us, especially for those of us who were raised in homes where we were basically trained to please and try to make other people happy over making ourselves happy, we will.
0:46:06 – (Wendy): Our knee jerk reaction will to be just to be. To behave in a way that will make other people happy. And so when it comes to my finances and the way I was running my organization, I can see now that that’s what was happening. I was subconsciously, basically, like, every time we would make more, I would increase our expenses. So it’s like, you know, we started to get on a profitable route back in, I think it was 2022, and then in 2023, I was like, let’s redo the entire website.
0:46:42 – (Wendy): Combine all of our programs into one, which I still think is the best investment if you are inside of the freshwater experience now, you know that that program is tight. It is literally a one stop shop for ending painful generational cycles in, you know, upgrading your legacy, changing your entire life, like healing on a magnificent level, learning strategies like all the things. But we spent a lot of money in 2023 through team and technology and all the things, like rebuilding the structure of our organization, so to speak. And so by the end of the year, we did not have much left we didn’t. We, you know, like, we were negative, to be honest with you. We took a loss in 2023.
0:47:24 – (Wendy): And on top of that, for the most part, I had not been paying myself right. That changed once I entered into financial healing. And God just started, like, to put so much in my life where I was like, boom, that makes sense. Boom, that makes sense. Now I’ve been paying myself for eight months, and my goodness, does it feel good to have a paycheck. But back then, I can just see that my nervous system, my default, was, let’s get rid of this, because this is not safe, because you’re going to get judged or you’re going to be that one of those awful people that has money.
0:47:58 – (Wendy): And so breaking that pattern was really important for me. And so, as time has gone on, there’s just been so much that has come to fruition that has really changed the landscape. And now, eight months into this financial healing world, holy smokes, I am so much healthier. I can’t wait to get my blood test again because I really think that my numbers are going to show a huge improvement next week. You’re actually going to hear me speak. I was a guest on my mentor Kate’s podcast. I actually flew to Miami twice within one month to record with Kate because that’s how passionate I am about being a partner with her programming. Because I just know that if it’s changed my life this much, it’s going to change so many of my students lives. And I really just wanted to do everything I could to support her and preach this message from the mountaintop, so to speak. Like, how do we understand what’s happening for us financially?
0:49:04 – (Wendy): How do we get to a healthier place where we’re thriving, where we do have abundant stacks of cash? Because, again, that is not selfish. That is not greedy. Having safety in the form of, like, six months of money stacked in the bank, that if you were to lose your job or get into a car accident and not be able to work, you can still pay your bills, you can still pay your team, like, all the things, right?
0:49:31 – (Wendy): Like, that is smart. That is not selfish. And to get six months of savings, you’re going to need to, like, if you’re not doing that already, like, I wasn’t. You’re going to need to change some behaviors. You’re going to need to see that stacking cash is not selfish or greedy. It’s actually really, really smart. But now that we are eight months into this, there’s just so many things that have changed, and you’re going to hear me talk about a lot of those things on Kate’s podcast that I will be airing next week on the Fresh Start Family show.
0:50:09 – (Wendy): She was kind enough to share the audio file with me so you guys can all get in on that. As I was listening to it today, I was like, oh, my gosh, this is embarrassing because I feel like I was really nervous and so just talking too fast and I probably shouldn’t have had coffee that morning. But you know what? I don’t care. I’d rather be embarrassed about being a little too chatty than withhold something from and have you guys not hear it. So that’s going to air next week. It is such a good episode, and you’re going to hear me get into, like, more of the actual results that I’ve gotten and what it’s looked like in my own life. And so that’s going to be really fun. But today, this conversation is all kind of leading up to these five painful financial generational cycles that I’m encouraging you to look at and not pass down to your children.
0:51:02 – (Wendy): These are things that I have declared that I am breaking the chain on and not handing down to my kids. And what’s important to understand is that the way you do that is you start by healing yourself, and then, and only then, can you teach your children these life skills. You can never, never, ever, ever teach your children something that you have not mastered yet. It will not work, especially if you have a strong willed child, because strong willed child.
0:51:39 – (Wendy): Strong willed children do not tolerate hypocrisy. If you are living your life a certain way and then expect them to live it in a different way, they just usually call B’s on it and it just doesn’t work. So if you really want to help your children thrive, you have to thrive first. And that is across the board. Whether it’s an eating disorder, like I talked about with my friend in the beginning of this episode, whether it’s anxiety that you’re looking at your kid and you’re like, holy smokes, they are struggling most of the time.
0:52:15 – (Wendy): It often is indicative that you are struggling and you deserve to get the help that you need, first and foremost. And then you can help your child, right? Or if your child is aggressive, if your child is hitting, if your child is being disrespectful or, you know, pushy out in the world or a people pleaser, blah, blah, blah, goes on and on. It just most of the time. You will get the best results. If you start with yourself all right. So here are the five financial painful generational cycles to break the chain and not hand down to your kids. Number one, avoidance or non clarity around your finances.
0:52:59 – (Wendy): This is definitely something that, you know, when it comes to the symptoms, symptoms that you need healing. This was one of them that once I started learning and was knee deep in Kate’s programming, I was like, dang, all right. I see it, like, every single month. When it came to our accounting meeting, I would often not prepare, like, and I would just come almost automatically, like, thinking, this is going to be bad news.
0:53:28 – (Wendy): And then oftentimes I would get surprised. I’d be like, oh, it’s not the end of the world. We’re actually, we’re break even. We’re not negative, or it’s not as bad as I thought it was going to be. But the anxiety that I would have up to the accounting meeting or the tax meeting, it would just wreck me. It was like a little rot. It was like a little poison inside of me. And it was happening. One of the reasons is because I didn’t clearly understand the numbers.
0:54:00 – (Wendy): I would outsource the numbers. I would act like, um, I didn’t. Like, they just scared me. I think they just scared me so I wouldn’t be in them, so I would avoid it. I didn’t really have a clear system where I was sitting down every week and looking at my own finances. I wasn’t opening up my bank account often. Um, I wasn’t, like, I would notoriously, like, just pay bills late. Not because I didn’t have the money, um, credit cards especially not because I didn’t have the money. Just because I’d, like, forget I, like, didn’t have a clear system.
0:54:32 – (Wendy): And then I would get, like, a $10 late fee and it would just drive me nuts. And then I would feel guilty and shameful. But what I learned is that avoidance and not having clarity and being, like, very specific with your hands and your money, knowing exactly how much you spend on groceries, exactly how much your payroll was. Like, that is a sign of health. That is a sign that is going to. That is a practice that’s going to bring you more abundance. Because what I’ve learned is that money loves clarity.
0:55:03 – (Wendy): When you’re confused, when your wallet’s a wreck, like, there, I would lose credit cards. But when your wallet’s a wreck and disorganized, like, money is not attracted to that. And so that’s one symptom or, you know, a cycle that, again, like, my kids will inherit that if I don’t change and heal myself and then teach them a new way. So the goal is to be very clear and to be very in with your money. Just like a relationship, right?
0:55:37 – (Wendy): A healthy relationship. You spend time with that person, you give it love, you pour into it, right? Like, you make sure that that person knows how much you see them and admire them. And it’s the same with money. If you are avoiding it. It does not lead to good things. Okay. Number two, a painful generational cycle that I will not hand down to my children is emotional spending. So as I talk about in next week episode, next week’s episode that you’ll hear me talk about with Kate is I often would go to target and I would just purposely go through the magnolia section and knowing that I was going to grab a blanket or a pillow that was going to air quotes and make me feel better because it had been a long day, or a candle or a new lotion, right? Or I live right next to a really awesome mall that has free people and an anthropology and lululemon and now freaking viori. Yes. My favorite stores all together in one place. And for years, I would just pop on over and grab a new shirt because I was exhausted and it had been a long day, and I thought that was going to make me happy.
0:56:48 – (Wendy): What I’ve learned is that it’s not the desire for fashion that is bad. It’s the way that I was meeting the core need that was actually creating more suffering in my life than the joy that I would get from that new shirt. And so I’ve learned to change that. And now it’s like I told Kate after, like, a few months of the program, it was like, I don’t even have the sensation anymore. Like. And when I do, it’s just like, eh, you know what? I’m going to choose to stack cash instead. Because that I’ve developed a desire for that versus, like, grabbing new things. And it’s just all across the board. I can see it so clearly that that’s that, like, desire to emotionally spend and to fill a need with that, which always goes away, like, three weeks after you buy the new shirt, it’s like, well, it’s like, now I’ve got that core need that’s coming back up again because I didn’t actually address it. It’s kind of been the same with my drinking journey for years and years and years and years. I would have the glass of wine to relax or to numb the, like, gosh, life is hard, or working is stressful, whatever it may be.
0:58:08 – (Wendy): And now, after a year, I realize that, thank God, I’ve now developed the ability to actually take care of myself in the moment that I’m tired or it’s been a long day or I have a headache. Instead of putting, like, essentially a poison inside of my body to numb myself, I now know that I just really need to take a walk, or I really need to lay down or I really need to pray or actually take a nap and meditate. Right? So, again, emotional spending is something I have broke the chain on and will not be handing down to my children.
0:58:44 – (Wendy): Debt shaming. This is the next one. Number three. So I have learned to look at debt, especially the debt that I’ve incurred to grow this beautiful organization and create this, like, mega house or community center, which is the fresh start experience, which is fresh start family. I know 99% of our work is online, but when you look at what we’ve built, I see it as a community center. I see it as a place of healing and holy smokes. Most people will never have any idea what it takes to create a online presence like this. Like, it’s pricey. It is pricey. And there are also ways to do it that are not as pricey. Right? So now I’ve realized that looking back, there were definitely things that I didn’t need that I thought we had to have, right? Whether it was the fancy microphone or the filming equipment or, like, extra technology platforms that we would use. Like, it’s just now very, very clear to me how I could have built the organization with less expenses. And at the same time, it was a big investment.
0:59:59 – (Wendy): I remember when I first become a parenting coach, and I had taught in my town for a few years, but then I decided, you know what? I really want to preach this mountain, this message from the mountaintop, so to speak. I want to reach families across the world. And I came to terry, and I was like, hey, honey, I think this is what I want to do. And he just didn’t even blink an eye. He was like, cool, honey, what do you need?
1:00:23 – (Wendy): I believe in this, too. We took a second mortgage out on our home, and we invested right, which turned into debt, which I now call blessings for invoices already received. And for a long time, I held so much shame about that. Like, I did it wrong. I shouldn’t have spent so much money. We’re still paying off this debt that it took to build this organization. And it, like, creates feeling in me because it’s like the.
1:00:50 – (Wendy): This is, like, where inner child work comes in, and it’s just the, like, no, you actually did a really great job, Wendy. It took so much courage, right? It took so much courage to invest this money into this organization. And what a beautiful heart you have. Like, this is my inner child work that I do that I’ve learned to do. This program of, like, you did great. It’s just invoices for blessings already received, and we’re going to get that paid when the right is. The time is right, which is already happening, which is so exciting. Eight months into this. This work, you know, I was carrying a level, high level of invoices for blessings always already received for, like, a solid four or five years. And now just eight months into this work, there’s a good chance that 80% of it will be gone, maybe even 90% by the end of this year. It’s pretty remarkable, right? So, anyways, I will not be handing down debt shame to my children and my daughter. Recently, she’s trying to get a beach volleyball scholarship, and she decided that she really wants to make a go at Pepperdine university.
1:02:04 – (Wendy): And we don’t know yet how much money they give out for scholarships. And we don’t know if she would actually land one. And just letting her know that, like, I’m going to educate her about what it looks like to incur debt and student loans. And in the end, she gets to decide, and there will not be a passing of shame down. If she does decide to go to a really nice ass college like Pepperdine where she will have some student loans. Right? Like, sure.
1:02:34 – (Wendy): There are. Like, am I going to encourage her? Like, I’m going to. We’re going to do what feels right for her. And if that, like, feels like it’s a good fit for her to create some invoices for the blessings already received that she will receive over the matter of four years, then great. And if not great, but, like, I’m looking at it, and I’m going to be operating with her so much differently than I would have before this program.
1:03:01 – (Wendy): Okay, the next one, number four, is a lack, mindset, or fear of not enough. Man, I see this show up in so many of my students lives, and it was definitely so abundant in mine. And it makes sense. It makes sense because we grew up in homes where this really was the feeling inside of our house. Right. What I’ve learned is that it’s not that much around. It’s not so much how much money you had growing up. It’s the feeling around money that paves your nervous system.
1:03:33 – (Wendy): And so there’s a lot of people who had a lot of money growing up and they still have a lack mindset. They still are very, you know, what is that word? It’s not cringey, it’s not grinchy. But they like hoard their money or they’re not generous with their money, right? Like they don’t give it away. I was just at a fundraiser a few nights ago for an organization called boys to men here in San Diego that are doing phenomenal work with young men. Holy smokes.
1:04:07 – (Wendy): If you are looking for a place to donate your money to a nonprofit, please look into boys to men. I love the work that they’re doing to teach young boys, especially young boys without father figures in their lives, to be vulnerable and be connected with other men. All these things. But I sat there in a room for 2 hours and watched a live auction and I watched $100,000 be raised for this beautiful organization through the compilation of very rich people giving out their money and just generously raising what they called the paddle to bid on these items that had been donated with the most fun auctioneer I’ve ever seen in my life.
1:04:51 – (Wendy): And it was just such a clear example of the idea that money is not bad. People that have money are not bad. People that have money are actually awesome. Of course, there are some people who have a lot of money who are bad. They are corrupt, right? Like, of course, just like there are people without money that are corrupt. But to sit in this room and to witness how there is plenty of money to fund these beautiful organizations like boys to men, there is plenty of money to fund fresh start family.
1:05:25 – (Wendy): Like, I no longer have to believe in the lie that there are not enough people who value positive parenting education. And so we’re never going to make it as an organization because people just won’t pay for positive parenting education. Like, no, there is an abundance of people who are willing and ready to invest in their family legacy and heal themselves and stop hurting and harming their children.
1:05:50 – (Wendy): There is unlimited amount of people in this world. And so that’s like an example of reframing this. Like, there’s not enough. There’s not going to be enough. Like, it’s going to run out. Um, and you’ll learn more about that in Kate’s workshop. Um, again, April 20, 3rd through 25th, you can register by going to freshstartfamilyonline.com/relax. I am a proud affiliate partner. Obviously, you can tell by this episode, my heart is in this. I want you guys to get supported like I have.
1:06:24 – (Wendy): But that lack mindset is something that I just didn’t quite realize was so prevalent inside my body until I did this program. And you know what? One of my favorite things about this healing and learning journey has been for me when it comes to lack mindset or fear of not enough that I will not pass down to my children is how it relates to time. So another place where I’ve realized there is suffering in my life is just the feeling that there’s never enough time.
1:07:08 – (Wendy): And I would often describe it in the past, again, always related to entrepreneurship. Entrepreneurship is like the most beautiful catalyst for growth for me. But I’ve heard, I’ve heard someone say in the past, like, if you really want to step into healing, become an entrepreneur, or if you really want to lose your mind, become an entrepreneur. But I see it as if you really want to step into healing, become an entrepreneur.
1:07:35 – (Wendy): But, um, I really had to look at this idea of there’s not enough. And in the past, I’ve described it as a feeling of, like, um, feeling like I’m drowning, like I’m trying to tread water and stay up with, like, all there is to do. And I definitely have a pattern of taking on too many things. Like, I’ll take on too many projects, all definitely, you know, overwork. I have a tendency to overwork or over give.
1:08:07 – (Wendy): So, you know, I might check my DM’s at night, and if someone is, like, really in need and struggling, like, sometimes I’ll shoot a voicemail, some memo back or something. But the pattern is that there’s never enough. So I end up clawing at time. And it actually just happened this morning with the laundry, the laundry that sits at the base, my bed. I have the funniest habit of dumping out laundry onto my bed and saying, okay, if it’s here, I’m going to fold it and put it away.
1:08:40 – (Wendy): Doing well, extra laundry is not the problem for me. It’s actually folding it and putting away that is the problem. And, um, but then I’m like, okay, I’ll do it later. And so then I pop downstairs and hop on a meeting or, you know, scoot off to church. So we’re on time, and then I come home and I’m like, I’ll do this later. I’ll do this later. And then I end up going to bed at night feeling like a failure, putting the laundry back into the laundry bucket. Terry laughs at me and just says, honey, don’t worry about it. Put it in the closet.
1:09:09 – (Wendy): I’m like, I don’t want to put it in the closet. I want it here. So I know it’s done, but I literally just said last night to him, I just feel like there’s never enough time. And as I said it out loud, I just also simultaneously said to myself, huh, isn’t that interesting? Isn’t that interesting? And then it followed up with a little bit of like, inner talk of like, it’s okay, you’re still healing from that. You’re still trying to figure this one out, and that’s okay.
1:09:36 – (Wendy): And as you continue on with your financial healing journey, your time healing journey will happen also. Because what I’ve learned from Kate is that they are so interconnected. If you have a lack, mindset or fear that there’s not enough around finances, you probably have it around time too. And I have both. But healing it means I’m not going to hand it down to my kids, which makes me so happy. So we’re working on that one and then last one. When it comes to financial painful generational cycles, to break the chain on and not hand down to your kids, it’s nervous system dysregulation, or I have next to it, ignorance. And ignorance may sound like a mean word, but it’s really not. It just means the lack of knowledge, right? It just means that you don’t understand yet. You haven’t learned about it yet. So for me, it’s really important to teach my children about their bodies and how their bodies were perfectly designed to keep them safe.
1:10:41 – (Wendy): I kind of riffed and did a little bit of a deeper dive on nervous system regulation and healing in the last episode. Around five signs that your child’s misbehavior is not the problem. But also just know that in Kate’s workshop, that’s really what she does. The deepest dive on is nervous system regulation work. So again, April 23 through 25th, head to freshstartfamilyonline.com/relax to attend that free workshop.
1:11:08 – (Wendy): But nervous system dysregulation is something that I just want my children to be aware of so they understand how to signal safety to their body and then get themselves back in their rational brain, right? Not in their survival or lizard brain, you could call it. That often causes us to behave in ways that then end up creating the reality that we don’t want, right? And so when it comes to my kids and also to myself and my own legacy, I want to create what I want to create. I want to co create with God what I want to create and where I see myself thriving, my family thriving, my kids thriving.
1:11:51 – (Wendy): And when we are in a state of nervous system regulation. That is what causes us to be creative and to not panic and not catastrophize. But instead, just remember that we are safe and that we are capable and we are able to move through this right. This comes along with emotional literacy and all these wonderful things that we do here at fresh start family. But Kate’s way of teaching about emotional or nervous system regulation and healing is just so, so beautiful. So I will not be passing on nervous system dysregulation or ignorance to my kids, and I encourage you to do the same thing.
1:12:29 – (Wendy): And that, of course, starts with learning yourself. So that’s what I have for you guys today. Five financial generational painful cycles to break the chain on and not hand down to your kids. I hope that you have enjoyed this conversation and that you will join me for Kate’s workshop April 23 through 25th. Again, I am a proud affiliate partner of her programs because I just, I can’t tell you how much I adore her teaching and her work and her style is one that really resonates with me. And I know because you are listeners in this community and or students inside of the fresh start experience that you’re going to resonate with her so much, too, and that you’re just going to get so much benefit from her free workshop. So.
1:13:18 – (Wendy): All right, families, well, that’s a wrap. We will be back next week to air my episode in Miami, Florida, with Kate, where again, you’re going to get to hear Kate interview me about some of the actual results that I’ve gotten. And we talk a lot about boundaries that you can enjoy tuning into next week to learn about. That’s been a big one for me when it comes to healing and just getting to a place where I feel like my nervous system is more regulated. It has been around creating stronger boundaries and sticking to them. So you’ll hear a lot more about that next week. But for now, just make sure you go get registered.
1:14:01 – (Wendy): Freshstartfamilyonline.com/relax. Or you can just shoot me a DM on instagram with the word relax, and I will help you get registered that way. All right, families, well, thanks for listening, as always. If you’ve enjoyed this episode, who will you share it with? Will you share it with a sister, a cousin? A friend from Bible study who has shared with you that they just feel like things are tough financially or with the kids right now.
1:14:30 – (Wendy): Maybe it is a friend from college that you just had a great conversation with last week, but she told you that maybe her husband just lost his job and they’re worried about how they’re going to make ends meet. Like, anything. Who can you think of that has, you know, shared with you that money has felt a little stressful? And, and maybe it’s. Maybe it’s no one, right? Because this is an area that we often keep hidden.
1:14:56 – (Wendy): It’s like, oh, don’t tell anybody that money is stressful. Act like everything’s hunky dory, everything’s good, when in reality, come on, let’s just be real. Most of us were not taught how to have an abundant, empowered mindset around financial wealth and management from a very young age. Yes, we did finance classes and high level math in high school and college. And if you’re anything like me, maybe you got straight a’s, but then afterwards you’re like, that didn’t really teach me anything about money management.
1:15:31 – (Wendy): That’s often what I find is the norm. So maybe you don’t have anyone who has said anything to you, but you can just feel in your heart that this is something that you would love to help spread the message with. Please share. Screenshot this if you’re listening and tag me on social media. I’m reshartwendy on Instagram. I love to connect with listeners over there. Tell me what you gained from this episode and what you liked about it, and if you will be joining me for Kate’s workshop.
1:15:58 – (Wendy): All right, families, well, thank you again for listening and for being such a loyal listener of the fresh start Family show. I see you, I admire you, and I’m over here cheering you on always.
