This episode features an engaging conversation with Wendy & her financial healing mentor Kate Northrup where Kate interviews Wendy about her journey discovering “relaxed money” practices and how they have revolutionized her approach to both personal and business finances. Wendy shares her struggles and breakthroughs, from considering a career change to embracing a new mindset around money and business operations.
Wendy’s experience with “relaxed money” began during a low season where exhaustion & worry seems to be driving the ship, no matter how hard she tried to ‘stay positive’. Seeking a breakthrough, she stumbled upon financial abundance techniques & nervous system regulation strategies (taught by Kate) that not only improved her entrepreneurial financial health but also mirrored strategies she teaches in her parenting coaching programs. Wendy’s story is one of transformation, grappling with limiting beliefs & scarcity based habits around personal and business finances, and eventually finding deep empowerment and high levels of growth.
Key insights from this interview that are sure to inspire you to invest in your own financial healing journey include the interconnectedness of emotional well-being, effective communication, and sound financial practices. Enjoy & be sure to share with a friend if this episode blesses you!
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Episode Highlights:
- Empowerment prompting techniques for handling children’s requests in stores can teach delayed gratification and affirm children’s desires while setting boundaries.
- Wendy’s implementation of “relaxed money” strategies resulted in significant personal bank account growth and business savings from reduced advertisement costs, amongst many other wins.
- Incorporating regular money conversations and transparency with her family & spouse has shifted Wendy’s financial dynamics, promoting empowerment, clarity and conscious decision-making.
- Trusting in one’s creativity and intuition while tending to a frazzled nervous system needing to be healed can lead to huge shifts in our inner & outer peace on so many levels.
Resources Mentioned:
Kate’s 3 Day Wide Receiver Challenge
Kate Northrup’s Plenty Podcast
Not able to listen or prefer to read along? Here’s the transcript!
0:00:00 – (Kate): Thanks for being here.
0:00:02 (Wendy): Thank you so much for having me. I’m so happy to be here.
0:00:04 – (Kate): I’m so happy you made the trip. So we were talking before we got started a little bit about your business, a little about your experience and relax money. And I would love to know, how did you first hear about relaxed money and what was happening for you in that moment in your life or in your business that made it feel like, hmm, this could be useful.
0:00:34 – (Wendy): Yeah. Oh, my goodness. It’s so funny to think back to that time. Okay, so this is a good story read. So I had probably had. I call them, like, mini nervous breakdowns. As a business owner, it was probably, like my fourth or fifth one. I’ve had my business for six years, and I had done a big launch for an affiliate in. In. This person really helps people heal from religious trauma. Does a lot of work with marriages in just beauiful, beautiful work, healing work, but it’s an intense crew. So I had done a launch for them, and it actually had some really great conversions. It was a wonderful workshop on compassionate discipline. And I had had, like, two people, you know, the weird people that are like, have.
0:01:24 – (Wendy): They’ll say things to you after you teach a free workshop that you’re just like, oh, my gosh, why is the world so mean? So a woman had said to me something about like, oh, you sound like a used card salesman, and, how dare you go long on your presentation? And she just ripped me. And I just remember it just really. It just shook me. But yet, we had a great launch, but I was very concerned, like, do other people think this? And it was like, nothing new. And I have a team that monitors my inbox, but I had seen it.
0:01:54 – (Wendy): So. So after that, I just was like, what am I doing? Do I even want to do this anymore? And I had been on the beach, and I decided, maybe I’ll become a lifeguard. And I literally talked to the lifeguards on the San Diego beach, and I was like, look, what does it take 46 year old, like, but I’m fit as hell. They were like, yeah, you can do this. Did all the research, almost registered for the workshop or the weekend thing to do the training. It was actually going be like, two months.
0:02:21 – (Wendy): And then I was like, okay, fine. I’m not gonna give up. I’m not gonna become a lifeguard. I have to, like, give up to summers. And even though it would, I always joke that it would be, like, a great career in another life for me, but I was like, no, this is what I meant to do. I’m gonna do this right? Like. So I took a deep breath, and that week or next few weeks, I found a few new mentors, and you were one of them. And so I actually learned from you about youth through Natasha Willis over at the school of Bots program.
0:02:57 – (Kate): I love Natasha. She’s been a guest on the podcast. So for you listening, if you wanna go back and listen to the Natasha Willis episode, we will put that in the show notes.
0:03:06 – (Wendy): Gosh, yeah. I love Natasha and her team. And that program is, you know, they.
0:03:11 – (Kate): Live just like right here.
0:03:12 – (Wendy): Oh, that’s right.
0:03:12 – (Kate): They’re right here in south Florida.
0:03:13 – (Wendy): There so many people in Miami now. It’s amazing. But that program really changed a lot for me in my business. But one of the biggest things is. Cause I found you. So you were one of the examples, right as we were learning how to do this intense tech builds that it takes. And, man, do I feel accomplished after building five of those funnels.
0:03:32 – (Kate): I mean, deep bow to you. I’ve never built one of those funnels myself. And I can see on the back end with the chat bots how intricate it is. And so deep out, by the way, just so you can see how this all works, if you send me a DM on Instagram that says chat, you can explore the entire world of chat bot automated marketing, which is such a great technology and strategy that both Wendy and I use, which is not the point of this episode, but I’m just sharing.
0:04:04 – (Wendy): Bubbles is your bot rightbles? Bubbles?
0:04:06 – (Kate): My bot will respond to you if you send her a DM that only says the word chat. Do not put anything else the DM, just the word chates.
0:04:16 – (Wendy): Fantastic. That’s so cool. Know that you found me through Natasha. Thank you.
0:04:19 – (Kate): Natasha.
0:04:20 – (Wendy): You were an example, and I was like, huh, that’s interesting.
0:04:24 – (Kate): I just, this is. I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I just have to say also, this is meta. Okay, here’s why.
0:04:30 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:04:31 – (Kate): Because I was an example in Natasha’s program, and now you are being an example in my program. This, what is happening right now is a brilliant strategy for getting more visibility is to become a star student and then a testimonial in other people’s programs. Okay, so just’s true. Listen up. There’s like a few layers happening right now.
0:04:55 – (Wendy): It’s so true. And yeah, I will tell you that one of the, that I found your work. I signed up, I was like, man, I just felt like an instant draw in connection to you and safety, I’d say, because that’s what you radiate. And then I will tell you that one of the pivotal things was, I’ll never forget. I was, like, getting ready, buzzing around like I normally do. And that bubbles bott girl, she was like, hey, we’re meeting in 15 minutes in my DM’s. And I was like, oh, crap, I need to do that.
0:05:21 – (Wendy): Bubbles the bot is the reason why I’m here. Oh, so bubbles about reminded me. Bubble. And then. Cause without that reminder, you wouldn’t have gotten. And then I was like, I don’t know. I missed an hour already. I’m not sure if I’ll watch it. So I tuned in, and I was like, oh, my gosh.
0:05:36 – (Kate): And this was this to the plenty workshop. This was the plenty workshopshop, yeah.
0:05:40 – (Wendy): And I was like, oh, my gosh. Instantly it was like, I think it was after one workshop or the second day of the workshop, I was like, oh, my gosh. I feel so much different and better. And it was very instant because I remember I got this DM from a woman who said, she’s one of our podcast listeners. And she said, hey, I just thought you might want to check this out. This is someone with a different perspective.
0:06:05 – (Wendy): And I clicked on it real quick, and it was like a video of someone wanting to argue about whether gentle parenting is biblical or not. And this has been a path that I’ve gone down to, like, represent the work in the past. And then I was like, what? This is just. It just wrecks me. Like, it just so unenjoyable for me. And I have friends that specialize in that space, but it’s just not my thing. Even though I help so many families who are escaping from that world.
0:06:29 – (Wendy): And it was like the most instant, calmest thing I’ve ever felt when I was like, I saw it and I saw the text go over the thing, and I was like, oh, no, I have no interest in this. So I responded in the calmest. Normally, my heart will be a little fast, and I’m like, oh, no, here we go again. And I was like, hey, thank you. I have no interest in engaging in this type of content with anybody who wants to argue about whether or not conscious parenting is biblical.
0:06:59 – (Wendy): I wish you so well. And I have no interest in engaging with this content. And it just was so interesting. Cause it hit me. And afterwards, I was like, that was weird. Normally, I get, like, a little fluffed up. And so that was the first time after the first or second webinar that I was like, something’s happening here that I want more of. And so then after then I was like, hell, yes. And I was, like, overly, probably zealous about everything. I was like, full pay. I wanna be there in person, like, all the things, because I just knew I could tell that everything you had taught me in this, those three days was gonna change my life.
0:07:36 – (Kate): Okay. I love that story so much, because what it shows is that when we know how to feel safe in our bodies, we set really good boundaries. A sign of dysregulation is not being able to set boundaries. And boundaries are one of the healthiest, most important ways that we can be relaxed in our lives, be powerful in our lives, be purposeful in our lives, and be prosperous. So I love that. I love it so much. That’s incredible. Okay, we’re gonna bounce around topics a little bit. We’re coming back to relax money. But I’m curious, where, as a parenting coach, where do you see this work?
0:08:23 – (Kate): Showing up for you in your parenting and also for your clients, where does regulating your nervous system apply as a gentle parent or, I don’t know, what you would call your people.
0:08:38 – (Wendy): My world is powerful positive. Pos.
0:08:40 – (Kate): Power positive. But it’sing. I love it.
0:08:42 – (Wendy): It’s all the same. It’s all the same. It’s firm and kind connection based parenting strategies. Yeah. So that’s a good question. It’s been, and that’s why, another reason why I was so drawn to this work is because it really mimics a lot of the struggles that are happening in the parenting world. When I say, like, our financial struggles, that we don’t really quite understand what’s happening, but yet the outward symbol or signal is, like, something’s going on here. This feels stressful. This isn’t adding up the numbers. Like, all the things that happen with finances, a lot of times, we’re just not aware of what’s actually happening under the surface. Right. So, with the families I work with and myself in my early years, with my own journey. Cause my clients mimic 99% of the time, my journey, which was like, I really hit rock bottom as a mom and then learned this whole new world that changed my entire life and strengthened the relationship with my strong willed daughter. And it’s just beautiful. But the first thing was just becoming aware what actually was happening. And so when I think about what this work shares with our families that we support is there’s just so much unsafety with making mistakes and being wrong.
0:09:55 – (Wendy): And. And in my opinion, that’s because of the standard model of parenting, whether, like, again, a lot of clients that I work with come from where they had what I really call religious trauma growing up, where their parents thought that they were disciplining them in a godly way. But there was lots of physical harm. There was emotional harm, humiliation. There was shame. Like, it’s like, where we get.
0:10:20 – (Wendy): And really in the standard world, too, like, you don’t have to be religious to see that the standard protocol is, like, if a kid messes up from the majority of the world, like, you put them in their place, like, they need to. Like, it’s like, where do we get the idea that in order to make children, or in order to make children behave better, we must first make them feel worse? And it’s like, what the heck? Where did this come from?
0:10:42 – (Kate): And then we just keep doing that for our entire lives.
0:10:45 – (Wendy): I mean, I just.
0:10:46 – (Kate): Just recorded an episode about shame and self blame around debt because we’ve been conditioned to think that beating ourselves up enough is going to change our behavior, which it does not, right? Yeah.
0:11:01 – (Wendy): Brene Brown’s, like, proven it right through all of her social research. It does nothing. It actually stalls growth, any type of shame or beating yourself up. But again, we’ve been conditioned to do that. So then when you grow up and you have your own children and you learn this new way, it’s just the nervous system that I learned through you. And this is where I, like, really tied in with my work so beautifully.
0:11:23 – (Wendy): So not only was healing me, but it was also like, wow, this is gonna be where I can be a conduit of light to my own students and pass this on to them. But it’s so clear that our nervous systems are very paved, and our neural pathways and our nervous systems are just’re conditioned. And so then you go into parenthood, and you’re like, huh. Logically, it makes sense to show compassion and use firm, kind boundaries instead of fear and intimidation and overpowering but holy smokes to carry through on that is the challenge. And then culture is just so, like, in your. That’s like, an extra layer of, I’ll.
0:11:59 – (Kate): Say, fudgery of culture.
0:12:01 – (Wendy): There’s, like, all this. Is it that the right way? Is it not the right way? There’s, like, this idea that there’s this right way. But really, like, when I come beside people and help them follow their hearts and their intuition and help them understand that you can teach children with firm kindness and strong boundaries. You don’t have to hurt and harm them and intimidate them. But again, most of us have a knee jerk reaction.
0:12:22 – (Wendy): The students I help, at least they mimic my journey, where there’s a knee jerk reaction to overpower, especially when you’re met with a strong willed kid. So with all that to say, when I started learning from you, I was like, oh, wow. This same exact thing is happening in my financial world. So as a business leader, it’s just like, man, it’s intense, right? Like, entrepreneurship, it’s not. As raising kids is like, I think the hardest job in the world, 100% entrepreneurs.
0:12:50 – (Kate): Entrepreneurship is second kicked my ass.
0:12:52 – (Wendy): And art, so much self doubt and, like, believing in yourself and going for things and, like, dropping sometimes 20k on ads and then the launch doesn’t come in perfectly. And just believing in your messaging and then you got the social game. It’s just so intense. And so what I realized was happening for me was mirroring what was happening for so many parents in the parenting world. And something happens and maybe doesn’t go as planned or it doesn’t give you the exact results that you want, and you become terrified of making a mistake, or what if I’m wrong or shame on me, I shouldn’t have made that call.
0:13:30 – (Wendy): So that, for me, is what I’ve kind of realized was created such a stressful environment around finances. And then as we went forward, I had every symptom in the book that you teach us in the program. Avoidance or, like, we’ll get into all that probably, but, but so for me, just understanding, like, oh, I have a reaction here. And most of the time when I look beneath, I’m worried and I feel scared that I’ve done something wrong. Y’s right, I’m gonna get in trouble.
0:14:05 – (Kate): Yes.
0:14:05 – (Wendy): Like, just happened last week with the taxes. I had a tax appointment. I was like, but now I’m like, oh, this is interesting. I was triggered, but my husband was with me and I was like, this is what’s happening.
0:14:15 – (Kate): Slow it down and bring consciousness and love and your adults and I just want you to know that comes up so much with Texas. The IR’s freaking is such a stand in for, like, toxic authoritys. The number of clients I have had and myself included over the years.
0:14:36 – (Wendy): Yah.
0:14:37 – (Kate): Where we project all of our issues with authority figures and all of our stuff about being in trouble and all of our fear and shame and guilt and I’ve been bad and we really bring our, like, I’m a child and I’m in trouble self to our taxes. Yeah, it’s like fully insane, but it’s so unconscious. And I’m so glad you were able to interrupt the patterning and just be like, oh, I’m triggered right now. Like, the IR’s is not my angry father.
0:15:15 – (Kate): Yeah, right. Like, it feels like it is, but it’s not. The IR’s is not a human. It is a bunch of humans who just, like, have regular jobs, and they literally don’t give a shit about you and your money. Like, and how you’re behaving. Like they are not having some sort of a moral story about you and your. Like, they’re just like, are they paying? Are they not? They’re just human beings. I’m sure most of them are. Lovely.
0:15:43 – (Wendy): Yes. You know what I mean?
0:15:45 – (Kate): Like, they’re just doing their job like.
0:15:47 – (Wendy): Everyone else, and it’s always okay. And, like, I.
0:15:49 – (Kate): You always okay.
0:15:51 – (Wendy): And even if it wasn’t, even if you got audited, like, to, it’s not.
0:15:54 – (Kate): Like you’re gonna go to jail for not paying your taxes. No one’s coming after you. Like, you just gotta call them. And I did a whole coaching session with a woman about this, and we were just like, you know, really? I know there’s somebody listening who needs this. It’s like, be. Just come into a place of safety, which, of course, is what we teach and relax money. How to do that, like, find safety in your body. Find wholeness in your body.
0:16:18 – (Kate): Work with the part of you that feels scared. Work with the part of you that’s afraid of getting in trouble. You know, go back and be with that part through its internal family systems therapy or practices. I’m not a therapist, but I guide people in being their own facilitator for that. And then you can just make a call and come up with a proactive plan from your wholeness as an adult, grown ass woman.
0:16:45 – (Kate): Okay, so you were just saying that that was happening.
0:16:48 – (Wendy): And even the part of that was so interesting to have it with. The lens of what I’ve learned from you is that it wasn’t even about me making it was sure. It was a fear about the call I made. So I let go of an agency and hired a new agency, and it was like, right away I could feel like, uh oh, catastrophizing. Like, again, that’s what a lot of us grow up with, right?
0:17:08 – (Kate): Catastrophizing.
0:17:09 – (Wendy): You come in and the milk is. The parent sees you spilled your milk, and it’s like the end of the frickaking world. And it’s like, whoa. As a kid, you’re just like, this sucks. And that’how it was in my home. Everything was just like, oh, my gosh. Chill out. But it didn’t matter if you were, like, fighting with your brother or you rolled your eyes or there was just always a price to pay. It’s like, as I’ve gotten older and I’m an educator, it’s. It’s just a mistake.
0:17:33 – (Wendy): Mistakes are opportunities to learn. We don’t need to make them fore alarm fires. But growing up, it was like that. So in the tax situation, I was like, uh oh, what have I done wrong? I hired this agency. They probably blew it. Cause they had made a mistake that we had let them go with, but we fixed the mistake, ended up getting a lot more money because we found the mistake great. But there was still like, yeah, it was all this, like, uh oh. But that was like a five, six minute thing inside of me that I was like, oh, no.
0:18:00 – (Wendy): Crying. On the verge of crying. And Terry was there. He’s watched the stuff with me. And so he understands what’s happening for me now, so now he can support me. So just the level of visibility is so much higher now. And so then I’m able to bring in safety quicker. I’m still working on doing, like, the practices in the moment. I’m very resistant. I’m a stubborn, stubborn little one. That’s where my amazing, strong will daughter gets it.
0:18:25 – (Wendy): But it’s just happening faster. And I m. The understanding is so impactful, and I know that that is changing the landscape of everything for me.
0:18:32 – (Kate): Yeah.
0:18:33 – (Wendy): And it does.
0:18:34 – (Kate): It takes time, because if we think about the patterning from childhood, I mean, this is literally what you do for work. I mean, you and I sort of do the same thing sortly different way. But when we think about the length of time of the imprinting and doing it one way, which is fear and shame based, guilt based, right around any kind of behavior, financial or otherwise, when we think about how long that was embedded in our system, in our lived experience, not to mention how long that’s been part of culture and how many generations back, that goes in our ancestral line, it’s deep.
0:19:17 – (Kate): So, like, yeah, it’s not gonna be a complete overhaul in a month. However, it’s remarkable the change that you can see relatively quickly because you shared, you even encountered a trigger, which was that dm that you got with the person saying, hey, here’s somebody who’s arguing that gentle parenting isn’t biblical, whatever. And in the past, you would have gotten hooked by that. And that hook is a nervous system imprint, because what your body would have recognized in the past was, oh, this is familiar.
0:19:55 – (Kate): Let me go there. Right? Like conflict, drama. You know, I’m projecting. I don’t know what.
0:20:00 – (Wendy): Overwork, working.
0:20:00 – (Kate): Overworking. Right. Like, I need to convince this person. I need to let me prove that I’m not a bad girl. Yeah. And so that was all like a hook. But even just from coming to two days of a free workshop, you already were able to access a sense of wholeness and safety, to set a boundary and not be hooked in an old way. So that’s dramatic, and it’s a testament to your availability to the work because that’s only, like, not even 2 hours of engaging.
0:20:37 – (Kate): Yeah, I mean, that’s amazing.
0:20:39 – (Wendy): Well, and it’s that, like, goes into the health side of this too, is it was such a big deal for me because I feel like becoming an entrepreneur has made me sick. It didn’t make me sick, but again, it came back to, like, what have I done wrong? I would feel like for a few years, I gave myself Hashimoto’s. So right now I’m trying to heal from Hashimoto’s. And it’s intense, but you can do.
0:21:04 – (Kate): It through nutrition and vi and all the things.
0:21:06 – (Wendy): And I’m doing it. But it started after I became entrepreneureah.
0:21:11 – (Kate): The stress is so real.
0:21:12 – (Wendy): It’s so real. Right. And so just like in that moment of that setting, that boundary and it feeling so natural and easy, for me, it really represented a lot because the overworking and I scan, it’s gonna take me a while to, like, continue to unlearn that. But in the business, there was a pattern of just overworking, over giving.
0:21:35 – (Kate): Yes.
0:21:36 – (Wendy): And again, I can see how that was modeled to me growing up and just struggling to follow through the boundaries. I mean, it was just like a joke for me. My whole team for 2023, one of the things that we had done is, like, we’re gonna set stronger boundaries, and we’re not gonna work outside of work hours and check slack in boxer and all these things. And, like, all the girls pretty much did it. I was just like, yeah, right.
0:22:01 – (Wendy): You know, like, still checking things at 09:00 p.m. Or engaging in stupid conversations that just, like stuff like that. So it was even bigger to me because it represented the start of, and I had tried before, but this time it has felt like boundaries have become easier and more relaxed, and I’m not where I wanna be yet. But that really signaled to me something really huge. Cause there’s the financial side of this on both the personal and the business that I felt such a shift. But then the health side is really like, almost the most important, because it’s.
0:22:32 – (Kate): For sure the most important.
0:22:34 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:22:34 – (Kate): So being able to set boundaries more clearly, kindly, powerfully. Powerfully, yes, absolutely. One of the most invisible. I’m sorry, one of the most important invisible inputs for creating long term financial growth. I have never seen somebody thrive financially. And when I say thrive financially, I mean making great money, but I also mean feeling abundant, because I know plenty of people who’ve made great money and don’t feel abundant. So that is not thriving financially.
0:23:10 – (Kate): So both financially well off and also joy. Right. So together, having good boundaries is essential for that. I have never met anybody financially thriving who doesn’t have awesome boundaries. And it’s interesting that you mentioned hashimoto’s, because that really has to do with thyroid fifth chakra using our voice. So I just love that the example you brought in was setting a boundary. It wasn’t verbal. I know it was a DM. But it’s the same thing, right? Like, it’s still using your voice. And so you really are exhibiting such incredible healing energetically, which of course, obviously, diet matters, all of the supplement, all of that stuff matters.
0:23:53 – (Wendy): And.
0:23:54 – (Kate): And that metaphorical piece of using your voice and fifth chakra power and energy to set those boundaries is so beautiful. And we have to feel safe and worthy enough to do that. And that comes from working with our nervous system. So I love that so much. Okay, so we talked about boundaries. So powerful. Is there anything else that you would wanna share about how relaxed money has helped you in your personal life? You mentioned with your health, but then also maybe possibly with your.
0:24:29 – (Kate): In your financials, but also maybe with your business. Like anything else, that has been an impact that you would want people to know about. Yeah.
0:24:37 – (Wendy): So there’s actually a lot. And know it’s tough to just choose one. So I’ll just kind of mention some kate and then you can dig in deeper if you want to. So personal bank account has grown significantly. It’s the first one that I’m seeing, like, oh, financial lift is happening. Right?
0:24:59 – (Kate): Financial lift.
0:24:59 – (Wendy): Financial lift. I love that pricerase. That’s great.
0:25:02 – (Kate): We’re gonna use that in our ads somewhere.
0:25:04 – (Wendy): I know, right? Financial lift. And I know it’s because there’s been a lot of healing that’taken place with, like, what I was spending my money on was a lot of, like, numbing practices. And so, like, know if I live right next to target, it’s the biggest curse and blessing at the same time. And I would. I remember specifically being like, oh, my gosh, I’m so tired. Like, you know what? I need milk. I’m gonna go to target to get the milk. And I’ll just cruise through Magnolia, the magnolia section and why I’m there.
0:25:36 – (Wendy): I’ll just grab a new pillow and a blanket, and next thing you know, $90, right. It’s like. And I was consistently struggling to stay on top. Like, my spending had gone beyond because I was not paying myself. So five years of not paying myself consistently in the business, and that changed. So once I joined the program, we started implementing profit first system. Yay. And the best. Oh, my gosh. And one my girls and I sit down every two weeks to do the business side of things.
0:26:12 – (Wendy): Started taking a paycheck. It’s not nearly started paying yourself. That’s amazing. October, I think it’s five months. And, wow. You know, before I was embarrassed to say that because I was like, just.
0:26:23 – (Kate): So you know, it’s like, really common.
0:26:24 – (Wendy): It is. And in the book helped me to realize that. But, like, multiple six figure business.
0:26:29 – (Kate): Yeah.
0:26:30 – (Wendy): And the founder is not taking.
0:26:33 – (Kate): I cannot even tell you the number of people I talk to where that’s real. Ye doesn’t mean it has to be so common. I want it to not be so common, but I just. For anyone listening who’s not paying themselves and who has shame or is embarrassed about that, like, let’s just normalize how common it is.
0:26:53 – (Wendy): Ye.
0:26:53 – (Kate): Because we talked about shame, guilt, blame doesn’t make any progress. So you can just release that.
0:26:58 – (Wendy): It doesn’t.
0:26:59 – (Kate): And look at you.
0:27:00 – (Wendy): Yeah. And thank God for supportive spouse. But I also learned so much about how much I had released of, like, responsibility and empowerment just to, like, let spouse handle everything. And again, he is one of the reasons why this company is where it is now. And, I mean, we’re thousands and thousands of lives changed. And I saved. I mean, we get notes about people who decided not to end their life. I mean, it was intense work that we’re doing, but he’s a huge reason of that, just for many reasons. But he’s really involved in the business, too. But he financially has back to this company and supported it for me not to take a paycheck, but I also realized that I was just so disempowered in the financial area because I just let him handle. And then he fell into, like, that’s just one of the ways I take care of my girl. And it’s like, well, honey, let’s change that.
0:27:49 – (Wendy): Yeah, so we’ve changed that. And now we are consistently, we have, like, hot sex and money dates on Friday morning. Love that. Yeah, great. 23 years marriage, 28 years together, 23 married. And so I’m just all about the morning, so. And then you taught us. Right. Like, if you can create that consistency. But then I think somewhere in the program we talked about, if you can couple, like, if you can bring it together with, like, a joyful thing, then that’s awesome. So st. Oh, my gosh. Look at. At you. Yeah, that’s amazing. And that’s still a lot of work for me.
0:28:23 – (Kate): ##Us do you do the money date first or do you have sex first?
0:28:26 – (Wendy): Which?
0:28:27 – (Kate): Sex first and then the money date?
0:28:28 – (Wendy): Yes.
0:28:29 – (Kate): That is fucking brilliant.
0:28:30 – (Wendy): And, okay. I love it so much. And I will add, it’s still a lot for me. Like, when I sit down, I’m like, I can feel my body still. Like, 28 years together, and we’ve never done this. Like, not the sex part, obviously. We have two kids who.
0:28:47 – (Kate): But not money dates.
0:28:48 – (Wendy): It always just happened. Like, we just worked it out. Like, we would sit down with a financial planner every few years or something. But this consistency, I’m like, wow, we’ve never done this. So I’m all up in his numbers, he’s all up in mine. We’ve always had separate bank accounts, and I just always feel triggered and scared, and I’m just. Every time we do it, I’m like, I’m okay.
0:29:08 – (Kate): We’re okay.
0:29:09 – (Wendy): And it’s the same thing that happens in the business. I’ll often sit down to an accounting call and I’m like, oh, great, let’s see. Are we negative again? And it’s like, no, we’re fine. It’s okay. And even if we are negative, my planner, she’s like, hey, we plan this, remember, this is us, a business that goes up and down. We’re okay. And so just the.
0:29:28 – (Kate): How entrepreneurship is. Some months are big, some months aren’t. That’s like, totally. Again, it’s normal.
0:29:36 – (Wendy): Yeah, yeah. And just, yeah. The consistency of looking at the numbers and being empowered in them is a big change for me. Cause I was an avoider and I was sc, I was just scared, so I would put it off. I would let my credit cards go late for no reason. I would get fees. Like, there was just a lot of weird, unhealthy stuff going on. Terry and I have turned back on retirement savings after three years of a break.
0:30:06 – (Wendy): And then lastly, I speaking about, like, on a little bit different of a level, but trusting myself and my intuition and my gut as a leader of this organization is just a lot and so I had been feeling like ads was just kind of like, after years of like, so knee deep in learning and probably had like seven agencies and it just wasn’t feeling super in line. And it felt just like it was draining the bottom, the business financially.
0:30:35 – (Wendy): So I made the call to stop the ads in 2024 and just go the organic route with Natasha’s program, which is still also vulnerable because it’s a lot of creation and just putting yourself out there. And within like a week of doing that for our launch that happened in January, we had a real go r and we got like 1.4 million views. This was two months after the program that I started with you. And just again, the trusting of myself was the success here.
0:31:03 – (Wendy): And then after that, the next week, we had another one go viral. It was a half million views. And so we funded our entire lo. Yeah, almost 2000 registrations for our January challenge with no ads. So that’s a savings. We were thinking of like six 7000 doge. That’s a lift on the business, too. But it was just presented in a different way.
0:31:22 – (Kate): And trusting yourself and do you know what trusting yourself does? I know you know this, but I’m just highlighting it. Trusting ourselves is like a massive expander on the conduit of financial resources. So the activator of trusting yourself and believing in yourself opens up the creative channel because there’s not all the static of, oh, I don’t know what I’m doing. Oh, I’m not good enough. Oh, my ideas are dumb.
0:31:58 – (Wendy): Right’s tr true.
0:31:59 – (Kate): That clogs up the whole thing. And then the ideas that are meant for you. You know, if anybody’s read Elizabeth Gilbert’s big magic, right, the ideas don’t come to you because the channel is clogged. You unclogged the channel. These brilliant ideas came through for these viral reels that you got to fill your challenge for free because your creativity is a form of prosperity and it’s unlimited.
0:32:28 – (Wendy): It is free. Yeah.
0:32:30 – (Kate): Do you see how you turned your creativity and life force energy into money through trusting yourself and opening the channel.
0:32:38 – (Wendy): Like, that is so cool.
0:32:40 – (Kate): Yeah, I love it.
0:32:41 – (Wendy): And that’s been a real go check.
0:32:43 – (Kate): Out those reels and we’ll see what you’re doing. Ye get some inspiration.
0:32:47 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:32:48 – (Kate): We’ll link them in the show notes.
0:32:49 – (Wendy): And now I updated them to a new funnel, so they’re still working. That’s the beauty of Natasha Stu at you.
0:32:54 – (Kate): Oh, my God. Back on the chat box. Okay. That’s brilliant. Thank you so much for sharing those things. Now back ono parenting. This will my final question for you. Now that you’re learning what you’re learning, and you have a 14 year old and a 16 year old, so you’re further along than I am in terms of like, prepping your kids to go out in the world and teaching kids about money is something that I think about a lot, especially as my kids get older. And it’s a body of work that I’m still in development around. Yeah, I love it, though. I do think I’m gonna bring a piece on it into the next relaxed money program because people are asking and I think I know what I’m doing, sort of.
0:33:35 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:33:36 – (Kate): But I would mean we have something we’re doing with the kids. It seems to be working. But I’m curious, what are you feeling like is important to pass along to your children around money? And what would you hope and what are you wanting to teach the parents in your programs and in your membership about money so that they can really be passing along positive, powerful money beliefs, actions, realities and imprints for their kids?
0:34:09 – (Wendy): Yeah, it’s so good. And that’s why, again, like, I just felt so called to be here because it’s like your work in my work is so. It’s essential. It, like, it is essential to have this for humanity. And it’s. Money is like the number one thing. Every single person holds it for the most part, you have to make, except for, like, monks and people who live in, who exchange services.
0:34:37 – (Kate): The vast majority. Majority v. Majority. Yeah, we’re doing this.
0:34:40 – (Wendy): And yet there really isn’t a lot of education from an early age about it. I mean, it’s just trippy. Right. So there’s a few things that, I mean, we say a lot. Like, one of the things I teach is to make sure you’re replacing when you’re in the store. I mean, these are just more like tactical stuff. And then I can. I love t. I can talk about what I’m planning with my kids and what I would want to teach. But tactical is like, you know, if you’re in the grocery store, a lot of people would like if your kids.
0:35:07 – (Wendy): The stupid candy and the Legos that are like, right at their eye level. Right.
0:35:11 – (Kate): I can’t even.
0:35:11 – (Wendy): And the kids are like, ey, don’t.
0:35:14 – (Kate): Take my kids to stores.
0:35:15 – (Wendy): Yeah, good for you. That’s a smart strategy.
0:35:19 – (Kate): Oh, we just don’t go there.
0:35:20 – (Wendy): Yes, yes. I always, when I’m coaching, I’m like, you could just leave your kids at home, a grocery shop at 09:00 p.m. That might be the solution.
0:35:25 – (Kate): I just order delivery.
0:35:27 – (Wendy): Me too.
0:35:27 – (Kate): The extra $10 is worth not fighting with anybody about the candy because now.
0:35:31 – (Wendy): As teenagers, when I bring them to the store, it’s like an extra fiftye. They want all the stuff. So we just help parents understand that instead of saying, no, we can’t afford that. Just to say, oh, I can see why you want that, and I’m not willing to buy that today.
0:35:47 – (Kate): Okay, great.
0:35:48 – (Wendy): But you can put it on your list. You can absolutely put on your wish list, and then you can choose. You can save up for it or you can ask for it for your birthday or, like, there’s all these options of you’re going to get.
0:35:58 – (Kate): So it’s like a yes. Yeah, it’s a no, but it’s a yes.
0:36:03 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:36:04 – (Kate): Which is great. I love that because it also is teaching delayed gratification, which is really important for brain development.
0:36:11 – (Wendy): So that’s a great way to just help kids not feel bad for asking y. So especially if you have a strong willed kid, they are gonna ask for the frickin moon. And, like, the earlier you can get at just being like, no wonder you want that.
0:36:25 – (Kate): Like, Stella used to be the queen ofirming.
0:36:28 – (Wendy): We used to go to Disneyland and we’d leave at 10:00 p.m. When she was like, 04:00 p.m. And she’d be like, why can’t we stay till midnight? Like, you are four? But they just want a lot, and we want to, like, help them understand that. That’s great. Like, there are ways to get that. So that would be a big change. And then I think for me, moving forward with a 13 and a 16 year old, when you’re completely changing your system, it can feel overwhelming. So for me, I’m just starting with knowing that the modeling is gonna be huge.
0:36:59 – (Wendy): So I’m gonna make sure that we just start for, like, maybe the next six months. Cause, I mean, stillla is getting up there. She’s gonna be in college in two years. But just letting them know, like, hey, dad and I had a meeting this morning. Here’s what came up. And then next week, hey, dad and I had our financial meeting. So there’ll just be a lot of likeuse it’s when they’re at school the summer, they actually will see it.
0:37:20 – (Wendy): Stella will be sleeping cause she’s a teenager. So I’ll just make sure that the modeling is happening, and then in six months, I’ll probably incorporate some type of, like, hey, guys, it’s Sunday, remember? We’re gonna do our laundry. Not on Wednesday night at 09:00 p.m. And we’re gonna just like, look at our numbers for the week. What do you guys need? Like, let’s make sure the money you need for school lunches is in there. Whatever you need. And then what are you saving up for? Like, all the things. So that’s the plan. But right now it’s not there yet.
0:37:50 – (Wendy): And I can tell. I can see how the absence of it is a big problem, especially now that my kids have bank accounts and they are spending on their own. And I see Stella having some behavior that I’m like, oh, let’s clean that up. But we’re just not there yet. But I can see how powerful that’s gonna be. Oh my gosh. For the future of humanity.
0:38:11 – (Kate): Yes, it is. And also highlighting that in case there’s any tape running for you or anyone else listening, of like, oh, my kids are now teenagers or my kids are now young adults and I didn’t do this. I just want to say from the perspective of compounding interest, which is the 8th wonder of the world. O yes, that’s according to Einstein. But also me. There is so much time, like, true, it’s great. It’s great. And if you do nothing else but explain to them and pass along the wonder of compounding interest and get them investing now, it is such a gift. So your kids are so freaking young in terms of compounding interest, you’re doing great.
0:38:54 – (Kate): And I love your advice about, like, affirming desire. Affirming desire, saying, yes, you can have that. And here are the ways, not right now, not from me, but here are the ways you could put it on your list. You could save up for it. Like, I’m affirming that you get to want things. And also here’s how we get the things that we want. And here’s how we’re wiring our brain for delayed gratification, which is going to contribute to their long term success in huge ways. So I love that so much.
0:39:26 – (Kate): Wendy, you’re great. I learned so much from you today. I’m just into it. This is a really fun conversation. Of course, if people wanna check out relaxed money, we’ll have all the info on that for them after the episode. But I wanna know if folks wanna learn about you and your parenting coaching and your membership. Where should they connect?
0:39:48 – (Wendy): Thank you for asking. Kate. Yeah. Freshtfamilyonline dot comt family online fresh shirt family. Start family onlineline.com and then also on instagram, freshir Wendy, I’m over there, and I do tons of teaching over there. And then our podcast, the freshert family show that my husband co hosts with me. Oh, my gosh.
0:40:06 – (Kate): How fun. Okay, great. So we’ll put all of the links in the show notes. Thank you so much for being such a glowing, incredible star. Relaxed money students, thank you for coming and sharing your story here today. I know it’s gonna change a lot of lives.
0:40:21 – (Wendy): Thank you.
0:40:21 – (Kate): Really grateful for you.
0:40:23 – (Wendy): So grateful for you too.
