Episode 41: Why I Yell – How to identify “protection” behaviors

by | February 21, 2020

Episode 41: Why I Yell – How to identify “protection” behaviors

by | February 21, 2020

Episode 41: Why I Yell – How to identify “protection” behaviors

00:00 / 36:31

On today’s show, Wendy interviews Christy Deniston, a cherished Fresh Start Family staff member who is trained as school counselor & certified positive parenting educator.

Along with her role as co-coach inside of Fresh Start Family’s Bonfire Membership community, she is also deeply passionate about personal development and is currently working with Your Infinite Life Coaching Company to become a certified life coach & course instructor candidate.

While Fresh Start Family is primarily a positive parenting company, we deeply believe in the power of layering life coaching along with parenting tools. This is how parents blossom into the best versions of themselves & can finally parent from a place of their true magnificence.

On today’s episode, Wendy & Christy discuss the impact that choosing to bravely step into emotional processing learning has had on their lives and the trajectory of their careers. They specifically discuss the difference between protection behaviors vs. being in learning, and how to move away from protection and into learning without shame or guilt.

When operating from a place of protection we are often giving power to our limiting beliefs. These beliefs tend to be set in childhood, are usually untrue, and do not serve us. When we are in protection mode we are not operating from our true self.

Protection Behavior Examples:


silent treatment/withholding

scattered thoughts

being busy/distracted

feeling attacked

anger/being a bully


using a negative tone

avoiding conflict/situations

pushing people away

always saying yes/being a people pleaser


A list of protection behaviors that came up in the last Freedom to Be Course Room. Everyone has different ones & they look different for each person.

Becoming aware of when we are in protection & what some of our limiting beliefs are is the first step. Then, ask yourself “If I didn’t have to protect myself from the behavior(s) I’ve identified, what would learning look like? How would I like to respond instead?”

Christy & Wendy take us through this process as they beautifully share what their protection behavior of being angry looks like in parenting, and also, what it looks like to operate from a place of choice & learning in parenting.

A vital take-away from this episode is that as self-awareness increases & areas of desired change are brought to the surface, our self-acceptance & self-love must also increase.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Would you love to yell, threaten & bribe your kids less, & connect more? Interested in learning tools that will make your kids listen better & cooperate more? Would it feel fantastic to spend your days connecting more & correcting less? 

Click HERE to grab a FREE guide will help you reach that middle ground of Firm AND Kind that will bring you the cooperation & connection in your home you deserve & desire! 

If you have a question, comment or a suggestion about today’s episode, or the podcast in general, send me an email at wendy@freshstartfamilyonline.com or connect with me over on Facebook @freshstartfamily & Instagram @freshstartwendy.



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