On today’s episode, Wendy & Terry discuss the why & the how behind taking a break from using threats in our households. When it comes to being strong, effective leaders in our homes, threats are not necessary, and they can put a toxic strain on our relationships. Threats often lead to blame & confrontation, while empathy allows us to see the situation from a calm & clear perspective. This episode focuses on how to shift away from threats and use strategies that bring about connection & positive results instead.
Specifically, Wendy & Terry touch on four elements of this idea that will offer practical tools & encouragement when it comes to breaking the habit of threatening our kids:
- Always assume the integrity in our kids
- Misbehavior = communication
- Every human being has needs & when kids are misbehaving they’re trying to get one of their needs met
- Resist the urge to label our kids as “sassy” or “manipulative” or “needy” etc. & instead see them for who they truly are
- Have confidence that our role is to be a guide for our kids (not their correctional officer)
- Other roles include being a “minister of integrity” or a “facilitator of safety” instead of just the person who makes all the rules and forces our kids to comply “no matter what”
- Focus on intrinsic motivation/teaching vs. pointing out mistakes/cracking down on misbehavior
- Make agreements with our kids
- Think about patterns that often give way to pushback & power struggles & commit to making agreements with your kids around these situations
- Agreements are not compliance statements
- Create new language to replace old threat habits
- Discuss logical consequences ahead of time: “Should you forget the agreement, what do you think should happen? What would be a good way to learn from this mistake?”
- It will take time & practice to become fluent in this, but it is possible & it will feel better than threatening our kids
Mentioned in this Episode:
- Fresh Start Family Online
- Fresh Start Experience – parenting education & support program
- Your Infinite Life Training & Coaching Program
- On Instagram: @yourinfinitelife
- On Facebook: Your Infinite Life Training & Coaching Program
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