Ready for a new series? Let’s talk about Sibling Rivalry and Conflict….anyone else have QUITE a bit of this going on in their home? If yes, you are SO not alone!

When it comes to addressing this challenging situation, it’s important to have a solid game plan in place, so you can feel grounded in your intention and purpose as a parent.

Over the next 5 weeks, we’ll cover these 5 strategies that will help you minimize sibling rivalry and empower your kids to solve sibling conflict peacefully and effectively.

1.) Avoid using comparison & competition between kids

2.) Let them have negative feelings about each other.

3.) Teach them how to take turns & trade (vs. forcing them to share).

4.) Have a mission to empower & mentor vs. fix / rescue.

5.) Teach win/win & repair

When it comes to comparisons & competition, it can be so tempting to use these things to motivate our kids towards action. Often we might say “first one in the bath gets extra books” or “whoever brushes their teeth first gets to pick out the tv show”, but unfortunately, this can backfire on us & create strong feelings of resentment between kiddos, which adds to the likely hood of conflict.

Instead of competition between one another, try saying “let’s try to beat our time from yesterday, I’ll start the stopwatch now!” or “today, we’re on cheetah time kiddos, we have to run as fast as we can to the truck, so we get to camp on time, together as a team….we got this….ready, go!.”

Comparisons like “Look how good your brother sits at the table” or “Your sister never gets sent to the principle’s office” also can create spite between siblings which is the opposite of what we want in our homes.

If you find yourself saying these kind of phrases, switch them up by simply asking for what you want “Please sit with us at the table so we can have fun & talk about how polar bears eat salmon like we have on our plates” or “Please keep your hands to yourself today, so you can stay with your friends in your classroom….I know you are kind, capable & considerate, you’ve got this.” Leave the discussions about their siblings out of the motivational talks as they are aware of what’s going on already…they don’t need us to double down on the fact that their sibling is behaving and they are having a hard time. Focusing on what they can do differently tomorrow and how they are strong and capable will get better results AND maintain a healthy relationship with their sibling.

We’ll be back next week to talk about how to handle it when siblings talk negatively about each other & why it’s important that we let our kids vent (instead of always telling them to stop or that they are wrong).

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