Tip #2 – Sibling Rivalry & Conflict – 5 Minute Motivation

by | August 6, 2018 | Uncategorized | 2 comments

Tip #2 – Sibling Rivalry & Conflict – 5 Minute Motivation

by | August 6, 2018 | Uncategorized | 2 comments

https://www.facebook.com/freshstartfamily/videos/2044705695553011/

Ok, we're moving on to tip #2 in our sibling rivalry & conflict series where we're expanding on these 5 strategies:

1.) Avoid using comparison & competition between kids

2.) Let them have negative feelings about each other.

3.) Teach them how to take turns & trade (vs. forcing them to share).

4.) Have a mission to empower & mentor vs. fix / rescue.

5.) Teach win/win & repair

Let's talk about when brothers & sisters say nasty things about each other.

Yikes....it's a trigger for many of us...that sends us into rescue, correction & lecture mode! It can be so hard to hear our kids say unkind things about one another, so we often try to make the feelings go away, instead of stopping to listen, connect and empathize with them and how they are feeling in that moment of severe frustration, anger, disappointment, sadness or hurt. Underneath the misbehavior, there are real feelings that cause our kids to say nasty things when they're upset with one another.

Taking a break from making them wrong in that moment & instead harnessing positive parenting tools like:

  • listening
  • empathy
  • connection
  • teaching in a calm time

....can do wonders to let the fire between siblings die down so to speak & the storms pass with ease.

So the next time you have a kiddo that comes running to you and says "Mikey is the WORST brother on the planet, I hate him!"....take a moment to:

  • slow down & resist the urge to react with words - silence leaves room for you to listen instead of correct
  • put your hand on your heart & practice your pause button / heart connector - take a few deep breaths (click HERE to grab your free HEART CONNECTOR)

  • think of a healthy intention - to teach, mentor, solidfy trust with your kiddo, etc.
  • find empathy for them - did you ever fight with your brothers or sisters? remember back to when you were young (or even now) when you just were NOT happy with a sibling
  • make a statement of connection - "No wonder you're so mad, it's hard when people won't share with you" or "I can see why you got so hurt, that's a really hard situation to handle"
  • form a plan to teach later in a calm time - take a walk around the block before bedtime or have a talk with them while you're scratching their back at bed time.
    • Coach them on what they were feeling earlier when they said "i hate my brother".
    • Give them new verbiage to use next time like "I feel so mad at Stella right now, she never asks me before she uses my markers"...then ask your kids if they'd be willing to try that out next time.

Click BELOW to watch the full 5 min. motivation video!

https://www.facebook.com/freshstartfamily/videos/2044705695553011/

We'll be back next week to talk all about sharing! (oh boy that struggle is real in many of our homes!)


 

DO YOU STRUGGLE TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN YOUR PARENTING APPROACH, WORRYING “AM I DOING THE RIGHT THING?”

DO YOU DEEPLY WISH YOUR CHILDREN WOULD LISTEN, COOPERATE & RESPECT YOU MORE?

ARE THERE TIMES WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR TEMPER AND JUST CAN’T FIND THE PATIENCE TO REMAIN CALM WITH YOUR KIDS?


Looking to learn more about Positive Parenting but have trouble finding time? Would you love a class you can do at home, on your own schedule?

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Learn New Tools, Expand Your Heart & Strengthen your Family from the comfort of your own home with The Fresh Start Family Foundations Course

www.FreshStartFamilyOnline.com

 

 

 

2 Comments

  1. Hi Wendy, I love this! One thing that came to mind that could get in the way is usually when I’m intervening between two of my kids the other one is getting into something or hitting someone in response to the negative feelings so I usually feel that I can never focus on the situation at hand and that often things get passed by or let slide unintentionally. There isn’t many quiet, calm moments in my house that I could reflect with my kids one on one (which this fact is very upsetting to me)

    Reply
  2. Wendy Snyder

    You’re right Sarah, it’s SO tough to teach when emotions are so high & physical chaos is happening. It’s literally nearly impossible to be a teacher in those moments (or for our kids to be great students of our lessons). So, you’ve gotta find time to teach in the calm times. At bedtime is my favorite momma & teaching through books is a great way to do it. Or toys too. Lots of books on the shop section of my website that you could grab : )

    Reply

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