~Written by Fresh Start Family Team Member, Sarah Quail – Bonfire Community Manager, Military Wife & Momma to 3

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It doesn’t matter who you are, parenting is HARD, beautiful and hard. We all have our own unique circumstances and challenges in our homes that humble us and bring us to our knees at any given moment.

Military families surely can attest to this as they face some truly unique challenges in their parenting journey.

They endure:

• stressful and hazardous work environments
• frequent relocations (relocating 10 times more often than civilian families and often far away from family & support systems)
• both spouses and service members sacrificing employment & career opportunities
• deployments and long & frequent separations
• and so many other challenges.

Nevertheless, military families seek to thrive under great pressure, and we need all the support we can get!

As a military spouse and mom of three, I am intimately familiar with all of these challenges (and the countless others that come with living this lifestyle).

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I’ve spent more time parenting our three kids without my husband than I have with him.

We work hard to make the big decisions together, but typically the detailed “dirty” work is left in my hands.

I look back to several years ago before I found this beautiful awakening of positive parenting and I see how lost I was as a parent, frequently relying on fear and force as my only tools to make it through the day.

I thankfully realized that as parents we don’t have to just “make it through the day”, we can choose to thrive and day after day be gifted with a fresh start to create peaceful, respectful and loving relationships with our kids.

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This work has empowered me to never give up on striving to be the family we are meant to be, despite the challenges we face.

I’ve learned to set firm limits with my kids while being kind and not permissive.

I’ve learned how to discipline them in a way that teaches them to use intrinsic control and unites us as family, without fear of punishment for their mistakes. 

While living amongst an organization that doesn’t necessarily promote emotional literacy skills, I am learning to encourage myself and my family to process feelings rather than hiding from them.

This has been especially challenging for my husband and incredibly inspiring to see his transformation. Having been raised by parents also in the military and serving for over a decade himself, making the shift to positive parenting has not been easy (as is the case for most of us).

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It has been such a challenge for him to work in a rigid and authoritarian organization, most days until he reaches mental and physical exhaustion,  and then come home and “switch it off” to be empathetic, kind (while still being firm), compassionate and gentle.

As his spouse, striving so hard to become fluent in this work, there have been moments (sometimes longer than moments) of incredible frustration!

The beauty of this journey though, is that its not only taught me compassion & empathy for my kids, but for my husband as well.

What we’ve learned through positive parenting & The Foundations Course has without question also strengthened our marriage, which is invaluable when it seems your spouse’s career is determined to undermine it.

Every day I listen to parents in my military community struggle with the same challenges that all parents do:

• power struggles
• tantrums
• revenge behavior
• sibling rivalry
• ending painful generational cycles of corporal punishment
• listening

… and they do it ALL with an extra weight of stress on their backs. Military parents are remarkably strong, and they also are often weary. 

This is why we are excited to have created the Fresh Start Family Gives program, a program that is so close to my heart, because I know how much military families need this work and our support! 

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This program donates a Foundations Course curriculum to a military family when you purchase the course for your own family. A one for one giving program.

Here at Fresh Start Family, we want to give back to these families that give so very much for the rest of us. 

Imagine the possibility for our beautiful country if the people supporting and defending it leave and come home to a peaceful, respectful and loving home where conflict is handled in respectful, healthy ways & the family unit is rooted in powerful unbreakable connection.

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More than 25 % of service members come from a home where they were parented by a service member.

Imagine the impact on our world if those service members came from homes built with positive parenting principles!

So remember when you are creating positive change by investing in your own family with the Foundations Course curriculum, you are also creating change in this world by investing in a military family!  

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To learn more about the FSF Gives program & share with your friends, family & community, click HERE.

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Would you love to learn more about positive parenting curriculum & strategies to help your kids listen better & cooperate more, with OUT relying on fear, force, bribery & rewards?

If yes, click below to learn more about how The Foundations Course can positively transform your life as a parent! 

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