In this heartfelt year-end wrap-up episode, hosts Wendy and Terry Snyder reflect on the profound moments and life lessons that shaped their 2024. Through stories of personal growth, family experiences, and transformative journeys, they explore themes of self-acceptance, embracing individuality, and shedding societal expectations. With humor and vulnerability, Wendy and Terry share how navigating career shifts, evolving spiritual paths, and being present for their family have led to greater freedom, joy, and fulfillment.
Their reflections serve as a gentle invitation for listeners to pause and recognize their own growth over the past year. Wendyโs insights on self-trust and Terryโs commitment to showing up as the best version of himself as a father remind us all of the beauty in embracing change and leaning into lifeโs challenges. As they close the conversation, the Snyders encourage us to celebrate the lessons learned and approach the new year with intention, authenticity, and a renewed sense of purpose.
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Episode Highlights:
- Embracing personal growth involves recognizing and celebrating unique individual paths, especially when unconventional.
- Presence and choice in parenting can significantly impact family dynamics and relationships.
- Self-trust and acceptance are vital in moving past societal and self-imposed expectations.
- Encountering and overcoming rejection can lead to strengthened personal beliefs and mission clarity.
- Reflecting on personal growth and experiences each year can offer valuable insights and set the stage for future improvements.
Resources Mentioned:
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Catch up on previous inspiring episodes of The Fresh Start Family Show!
Unable to listen, or prefer to read along? Here’s the transcript!
0:00:03 – (Wendy): Hello, families, and welcome to a new episode. I’m so happy you’re here today. I am with my better half. He’s here. Ladies and gentlemen, Terry Snyder’s in the house. And today I thought it would be fun to talk about our biggest takeaways or learnings from 2024 as we wrap this year. What do you say, babe? Be down.
0:00:24 – (Terry): This episode is sponsored by Hawaiian Sun. Not really, but manifesting.
0:00:29 – (Wendy): Yeah, I just. I brought those home from the hotel, put them in my bag from Hawaii for you guys. I’m glad you like that one because the kids say they don’t like that. That flavor, but way to bring the fun to the podcast. Terry Snyder, you always bring so much fun to the podcast. You haven’t been on in a while, and we needed. We needed some Terry Snyder energy. So I feel like I did kind of pressure you to record this with me today, but you’re like, so have.
0:00:57 – (Terry): You thought of your takeaway? What are your takeaways?
0:01:00 – (Wendy): Was it this morning on the way to church?
0:01:02 – (Terry): It started yesterday, and then it was this morning. You got your takeaway.
0:01:06 – (Wendy): I was like, babe, I want to record an episode. Your biggest takeaway from 2024. And he’s like, I don’t know. I don’t know. I have a lot. And I’m like, there’s gotta be one. And you found your one. Yes.
0:01:18 – (Terry): Yeah, yeah.
0:01:19 – (Wendy): That rose to the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But 2024 has been incredible for the Snyders. So much has happened. We’ve traveled so, so much. Thought it would be kind of fun to look at the travel that we’ve done this year. And as we kind of revisit all that’s happened, then look back and ask ourselves, what was it that really stood out?
0:01:43 – (Terry): What happened?
0:01:44 – (Wendy): Yeah, what happened? But what was God kind of stewing in our hearts, so to speak? Stewing in our hearts?
0:01:51 – (Terry): No, stewing is a little negative. I feel like stewing is like, okay.
0:01:54 – (Wendy): Nuts doing, like, brewing. Brewing. I don’t know. What was he calling us towards?
0:02:00 – (Terry): Harvesting.
0:02:00 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:02:01 – (Terry): What is he growing?
0:02:02 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:02:02 – (Terry): Well, harvesting is like, you’re done. But I guess.
0:02:04 – (Wendy): True, true. Who knows? Gosh, man, we probably should have prepared more for this podcast.
0:02:09 – (Terry): No, I think this is good.
0:02:11 – (Wendy): But what did he bring forward in our lives that felt like, now that we’re headed into the new year, we really want to solidify and take away and celebrate and bring light to. So love it. Thought it’d be fun to just start off with some. Some of our travel recap terr Snyder. Okay, so we. With. With Stella. So our daughter is actively pursuing a D1 beach volleyball. Would you call that a career in college? No, it’s like, spot. It’s a D1 beach volleyball spot. Right?
0:02:41 – (Terry): Yeah.
0:02:42 – (Wendy): In college, which, holy smokes, is quite, Quite the journey. But we have been to Long Beach, Arizona, Hawaii a few times.
0:02:50 – (Terry): 2.
0:02:50 – (Wendy): Yep. San Luis Obispo a few times. Manhattan beach and Santa Monica, like 40. I feel like we live.
0:02:59 – (Terry): I know my order at all these places.
0:03:01 – (Wendy): Yes. Those little beach towns, man, we love them so much. Huntington beach, too. Snowboarding in Big Bear, California. Mammoth, California. Shooting coach prime at University of Colorado. What other work trips have you done this year where you got to travel someplace cool? What was Colorado, the big one this year?
0:03:20 – (Terry): That was kind of the big one. I think most everything else was local.
0:03:23 – (Wendy): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes you have multiple. And this year it was pretty much because I think you went to Colorado a few times. Yeah.
0:03:30 – (Terry): Not in 2024. I went once in 23 and once in 24.
0:03:35 – (Wendy): Got it.
0:03:36 – (Terry): Yep.
0:03:37 – (Wendy): We were in Maryland, of course, visiting my folks. You went surfing up the coast to Ventura with Taryn. We had Carlsbad, California. All of our students come in from all over the nation for our freedom to be weekend retreat. I was in Utah a few times. I was in Miam. And you also were in Florida. We were in Florida a few times. Right.
0:04:02 – (Terry): And.
0:04:02 – (Wendy): And concerts. Let’s talk concerts. I mean, how many concerts did you and Stella go to this year?
0:04:07 – (Terry): Yeah, we went to quite a few. I mean, we went to Las Vegas for a. Oh, yeah, Like a music festival. Yeah, that was a big one.
0:04:17 – (Wendy): Sacramento. So Vegas, Sacramento.
0:04:20 – (Terry): Sacramento. This year.
0:04:21 – (Wendy): That wasn’t this year.
0:04:22 – (Terry): I bought tickets. I sold them.
0:04:23 – (Wendy): Oh, okay.
0:04:24 – (Terry): That’s the other thing. How many tickets did I buy and sell this year because there were too many things to do? Couple. Yeah, couple.
0:04:32 – (Wendy): So LA and Vegas.
0:04:35 – (Terry): Yeah, so.
0:04:36 – (Wendy): Yeah. And Florida for concerts.
0:04:38 – (Terry): I don’t think we did Florida concert. Yes, we did.
0:04:40 – (Wendy): We did Rockville, honey. This year we did it. Am I crazy?
0:04:45 – (Terry): Oh, my.
0:04:45 – (Wendy): Are you sure we didn’t go to Rockville in May?
0:04:48 – (Terry): Not this year.
0:04:49 – (Wendy): Oh, wow. Time flies, man, when you’re having fun. Okay, any place else besides Sacramento? In Vegas? Not Sacramento.
0:04:55 – (Terry): Any. Any place besides Vegas, Louisiana. San Diego. Yeah, a few things in San Diego. Yeah. Yeah.
0:05:04 – (Wendy): Cool.
0:05:05 – (Terry): That was amazing.
0:05:07 – (Wendy): That is. I signed a book deal that was.
0:05:10 – (Terry): Pretty awesome about it.
0:05:11 – (Wendy): Come on. Just so many great things that happened this year. So many great places we got to see. We feel so blessed. We feel so lucky. Anything I miss that’s like major highs of trav. Travel or life.
0:05:24 – (Terry): I mean, gosh. I mean, we’ve. Yeah, we’ve been able to do all of that. Amusement parks.
0:05:29 – (Wendy): We were in Mexico. Mexico. Your mom’s birthday this year. Or was that last year, honey? It wasn’t.
0:05:33 – (Terry): It wasn’t this year, honey. Hey, everybody out there. If. If the years blend together, you’re not alone.
0:05:43 – (Wendy): Oh, man.
0:05:43 – (Terry): But no, that wasn’t this year. That was last year.
0:05:46 – (Wendy): That is crazy.
0:05:47 – (Terry): Amusement parks. You did. You did Disneyland a couple of times.
0:05:51 – (Wendy): Oh, yes, I did that. Yeah.
0:05:53 – (Terry): Yeah, you did. Hershey Park, Pennsylvania.
0:05:56 – (Wendy): Yeah, we did.
0:05:56 – (Terry): It’s another state that was a lot of trouble. Probably had some plane layover somewhere. I don’t know if we count those. Yes, true. Yeah.
0:06:05 – (Wendy): So good. But we both had ups and downs in life as we kind of continued to build and nurture our careers and my company, our company, Fresh Start Family. Alongside our marriage, of course, and being the best parents that we can be for our kids. So through it all, you know, just. I thought it’d be so good to kind of do this recap and talk about our biggest takeaway of the year of 2024. When we really ask ourselves, what was the biggest thing that God taught us this year? What was the standout thing that when we look back at 12 months, made this year memorable that we want to solidify and remember forever. Right? I think if you don’t slow down and do this, it can be just so easy to be like, okay, onto the next. Right. But, like, there’s something so magical about the end of the year that wrap up, where you just get to really celebrate if you choose. So I encourage you all to do this with your partner, whether it’s a date night or just after you get the kids down to bed and you grab a glass of wine or a cup of tea or something.
0:07:07 – (Wendy): But just ask your partner, what. What was the biggest takeaway? And chat about it, too. So. Drum roll. What? Should we get to the drum roll? Yeah. Should we do it? Should we go in?
0:07:20 – (Terry): Sure. Are you going first? I just hope you choose something that was actually in this year. I’m a little. I’m a little worried you’re going to choose something from another year. I’m just kidding.
0:07:29 – (Wendy): I know. Okay, I. Do you want to go first, or do you want me to go first?
0:07:34 – (Terry): I want you to go first.
0:07:35 – (Wendy): You want me to go first?
0:07:36 – (Terry): You want me to go first?
0:07:38 – (Wendy): Yeah, I want you to go first.
0:07:39 – (Terry): So who’s the boss here?
0:07:40 – (Wendy): I know.
0:07:40 – (Terry): I think you Guys, if this was live, we could take a, like a little poll or something like that, but.
0:07:45 – (Wendy): I guess it’s not.
0:07:46 – (Terry): It’s not. Your face is on the whole thing. I. You’re the CEO and founder. I’ll go first.
0:07:53 – (Wendy): Okay, you have to go first. I’m going to. Yeah, I’m going to listen. I’m going to take this in.
0:07:57 – (Terry): Okay. So drum roll.
0:07:59 – (Wendy): Okay.
0:08:01 – (Terry): Okay. Well, I found that like, you know, there’s so many things that are out of our control, so to speak, in life, you know, you can try your best to be the best employee you are. You can go places, you can, you know, be like, that really worked really well or that was successful air quotes or, you know, this opportunity really provided me to do this or do that. But for me, it was actually in the realm of parenthood. You know, I found it seemed like at the beginning of the year with a 16 year old that turned 17 this year, like, life seemed like it was going really quick.
0:08:47 – (Terry): Like I was like, oh my gosh, like, you know, this is, you know, she’s going to be up and out before we know it type of thing. And so my biggest takeaway was like, you know, I’ve always wanted to prioritize family first, but specifically just to be like the dad that I want to be. It’s a choice that you can make. It’s not like, it’s not like other things where I feel like with career there needs to be some, like, hey, this, I’m waiting for this to happen or once this happens, I can do this. But like every day I was able to just choose like, I’m gonna be the best dad I can be and I’m going to support or go enjoy this or lean into this. And it was one of those things where it was like, you know, like just treating life as if it was like, not that like every day’s your last. Because that’s really morbid. It wasn’t more a morbid, Hey, I like, it wasn’t a morbid like that, but it was just kind of like, let’s, let’s just go for it. It’s like, oh, you want to do that? Cool, let’s. I’ll support you in that. Let’s go. Let’s do it.
0:10:04 – (Terry): And just knowing that no matter what, I would never regret the memories made the time that we have, because time, you know, is fleeting. It’s. It, you know, it’s the one thing that we can’t. We can’t like stop or pause, you know, but every day I could, I could choose be a great dad, be a great husband. So I, you know, I just leaned into that and I thought that, that, like, recapping this year, I mean, I thought it was interesting that you started off with so many of those trips because so many of those trips were pouring into our now 17 year old and of course our 14 year old too. I mean, he’s.
0:10:48 – (Terry): Don’t worry, he’s. He’s not forgotten.
0:10:51 – (Wendy): He’s gonna have years of us alone once Stella’s off in her.
0:10:55 – (Terry): Yeah, no, he.
0:10:56 – (Wendy): Very expensive college.
0:10:58 – (Terry): He lives the dream. I, you know, when I describe his life to people, he’s great. But, but yeah, and, and ultimately, I mean, that gave right back to me. I think it provided a lot of epic opportunities for us, especially at the end of the year. Like, I love the way that the year is coming together, you know, because, you know, some of these things can be an emotional roller coaster and we’re talking about, like, what’s your future and what’s, you know, and, but I love the way it’s wrapping up and I love the trip that you just got to go on. An experience with Stella.
0:11:36 – (Terry): And I loved our Cal Poly experience. And I just. I don’t know, I just loved it all. It was great.
0:11:42 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:11:42 – (Terry): Yeah. So saying yes to just being the best dad I could be, that was, that was a good decision.
0:11:48 – (Wendy): And was there something that, like, when you look back, you can feel like God was just really like pressing into you or giving you confidence or just aligning you? I mean, like, obviously it’s in this realm, I would have to imagine, but was there like something that you’re like, wow, really was guided in that? Like, did you feel that presence or was there like that, that lesson? You know, Would you just sum it up as, like, I know you were talking earlier about like the choice, like it just.
0:12:21 – (Wendy): Or empowerment. Maybe it was like a feeling of empowerment. Was. Was that there for you at all?
0:12:27 – (Terry): Yeah, but. And I think, you know, he was working on me in the prior year to step into this year too. I mean, you know, as we talk about so much on the podcast and through Fresh Start Family, I mean, being a great parent is often also modeling too. So it’s like coming into the year, like, you know, haven’t had a drink at this point, at the air at the time of us like recording this, it’s been almost two years.
0:12:58 – (Terry): So being like, so clear minded of like zero anything, like anything to do that, that is great. So I think that prepared me. I think also I Think with Stella’s journey, I was really inspired and sparked to, like, learn something new. So I was like, oh, how does this whole thing work? You know? And I remember, like, top of the year, like, reading some books and leaning into that, like, years past, I might have, like, wanted to learn something new where it came to, like, you know, photography or something through my work or something like that. This year it was more like, I want to learn more about beach volleyball.
0:13:42 – (Terry): Getting recruited, how do colleges work? How does it, like, just like, I’m just going to learn alongside of her and you, like, how does this whole thing go? And finding some joy in that also just using some of the things that I’d been prepared with. Oh, somebody. Oh, they need video edits. I’ll be a video editor and just enjoying being that and having that. That role. And. Yeah, I don’t know, I just.
0:14:14 – (Terry): I just feel like I was being prepared for that over time. And so, yeah, when it came time for it, it was like, well, of course, this is your chapter of fatherhood.
0:14:26 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:14:27 – (Terry): And I don’t know what it’ll look like next year. It might not look the same at all. That might have. That might just be, like, a one year. That was. That was that one unique, special year.
0:14:36 – (Wendy): Yeah. You know, and I think for you, too, it’s just like being guided by the fun and the joy of it, too, and, like, you know, being called into this season of, like, just insane, amazing fatherhood that I’ve watched you step into this year. You’ve always been a great dad, but this year was like, oh, my gosh, this is crazy, but, like, stepping. I just saw you have so much fun this year as you were, like, supporting Stella with a thousand percent of your energy and your heart, and you’re learning all the new things and the relationships. I mean, all the work partnerships and relationships you form there that you combine with beach volleyball and all the things. But it seems like fun was, like, guiding you, too, a little bit. Like, I don’t know if you felt.
0:15:21 – (Terry): Yeah, no, it was definitely fun and fun was guiding me. And I think the fact that, like, some of the stuff I already had, like, a foothold in, it wasn’t like, it was like, dude, this isn’t. This isn’t your thing. I was like, oh, no, I know a little bit about this. I know just enough about this to be like, oh, this is my role. This is my time to step up, you know, like, oh, here’s a relationship. Or like a someone you could call or someone you can, you know, Try to help this process move forward or get better at video editing of her. And when I say video editing is because, you know, after every event Stella would play in, I would shoot video of it all, create a video edit. We’d have to go through the highlights and everything like this. And so, like, I felt like it was just something just. I was called to just step into because I already knew a little bit about it.
0:16:14 – (Terry): And then I had fun getting better and learning more. And it just felt like it was like, yeah, there’s your role right now as a dad.
0:16:20 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:16:21 – (Terry): And.
0:16:21 – (Wendy): And it was so fun. Like, every single match, every single weekend, every single travel, I gotta give. There was never.
0:16:27 – (Terry): I gotta give Wendy props here, because I know. And she has pointed out, is like, we. When the kids were so young, we were like, what’s the sport? What’s the sport? And we’re like, beach volleyball. Sounds cool. Because no matter what, it takes you to the beach. And so here we are. Is like, you know, Wendy started her on this path at wave beach volleyball in Del Mar knowing that, like, if she stuck with it, well, then here we would be going to tournaments at beaches. And so, like, I just felt like I was like some Anthony Bourdain of Beaches, you know, like, totally, like, oh, yeah, this beach.
0:17:08 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:17:08 – (Terry): You know, they’re all amazing. They’re great. And so, yeah, I love it.
0:17:12 – (Wendy): It really wasn’t a bad one.
0:17:14 – (Terry): No, it was fun. And I was very thankful.
0:17:17 – (Wendy): Yeah. We became like, the connoisseurs of, like, you know, which bathroom is going to be the best, which isn’t. Which one’s gonna run out of toilet paper by 3pm Maybe that’s not a dude thing. That’s like a chick thing. But. Yeah. Well, I love that, Terri. And I think, you know, just being your best friend and knowing you so well and just being human, it’s like, I just find that it’s so easy. And we talk about this all the time, but.
0:17:45 – (Wendy): And we’ll see how far I can get today without crying.
0:17:48 – (Terry): Okay, let’s bring it.
0:17:49 – (Wendy): Yeah, it can. It’s just so freaking. I don’t want to. I don’t want to say easy. I want to say. I guess we’re just so conditioned to look at maybe, like, what’s not going well or what’s hard or what feels like it’s not perfectly in line, whether it’s career, life, marriage, kids, whatever. I think most people would agree that it just. The brain goes there really fast. And it can be something that can consume you. And we all have our highs and lows. But, Ted, to hear you really just, like, slow down and be like, yeah, that’s the thing.
0:18:32 – (Wendy): Like, it was. I really just shined in this light. And I know you said it differently, but, like, it was a choice to show up as a great dad, but, like, to really hear you just pour into, like, acknowledging yourself for showing up for Stella and knocking fatherhood out the park. Because it’s like, in life, I feel like we always try to have everything be, you know, we want everything to be this, like, level 10, right? And I feel like at church day, we had a great sermon around how, you know, there’s always going to be hardship or suffering or some level of pain that you’re working through or something’s not perfectly where you want it to be. And, like, as humans, it can be tempting to focus on that and to really slap, stop and slow down and be like, wow, I really take. Made the choice to be the father that I always wanted to be for my children.
0:19:29 – (Wendy): And I’ve really shown up and I’ve really, like, poured my heart into these kids and my family, and it’s felt so good. And just to acknowledge that that’s like, this level 10 or level 100 in your life and bring attention to that, I think is really, really beautiful because it can be easy to gloss over those things, especially when you’re talking about yourself or this isn’t necessarily an accomplishment.
0:19:54 – (Wendy): But I love. I love your teeing it up as, like, it’s a choice, and you have consistently made that choice. And I know a lot of people don’t, you know, and it’s like, when it comes to parenting, life, marriage, like, we teach so much here at Fresh Start Family about taking that, like, radical acceptance for your life and with compassion, of course, not shame. But, like, I think there’s just a lot of people who haven’t gotten the memo that it’s.
0:20:28 – (Wendy): It is really a choice to show up in fatherhood. The way that’s going to, like, really build your kids up form the relationships that you want, have your kids, like, just missing you so bad after two days that they’re like, where are you? You know, if you’re on a trip or you’re separated, but, like, have you be the person that they trust to talk to and that you’re the person, especially, you know, as a father that they come to for advice about not just sports but everything in life. But it’s. It really is a choice.
0:21:02 – (Wendy): And you have always shown up in that capacity. And this year, I Think you just did turn up the dial in a tremendous way, even to the level where I had to do my own therapy, work around, like, am I. Am I not as good as. Am I not as. Am I worthy? And that was my whole, whole journey. But when you have someone as amazing as you in a family, it’s like. Like, wow. Like, to really just be able to look at your own insecurities and be like, wow, I’m just going to celebrate the heck out of this because I’m the luckiest mom on the planet to have this type of partnership and the type of dad that shows up for their kids in that way.
0:21:43 – (Terry): So I know I can lay it on a little thick sometimes.
0:21:47 – (Wendy): No, no. You’re, like, the most humble dude.
0:21:51 – (Terry): Well, I think it’s interesting. Some of the things that you said towards the beginning of your thought there of coming up with this takeaway wasn’t. I didn’t come right onto that. I actually went on to all of the more negative kind of. I had to take a long detour before I got to. Before I got to the positive takeaway, which really is the thing that, if you were to ask me, is head and shoulders way more important than any of the things that I’m going to list of? Like, you know, my mind went to, like, taking inventory. Like, was this an incredible career year for you?
0:22:33 – (Terry): I’d be like, that’s not number one for me. No, was. Do you feel like from a. I’m going to use the word physicality standpoint, I don’t think it was a huge leap forward. If anything, if you look at my. If you look at my stats and numbers, I’m down this year. I’m not. I’m not. I’m not out.
0:22:53 – (Wendy): You are still super hot.
0:22:55 – (Terry): I’m not out, but my. I’m a little down right now there. Lost my peloton instructor.
0:23:02 – (Wendy): Oh.
0:23:02 – (Terry): I mean, she’s not gone from this earth, but she’s gone from peloton.
0:23:05 – (Wendy): That was really sad for you.
0:23:08 – (Terry): Oh, I haven’t been in the water nearly as much as I want to.
0:23:13 – (Wendy): Yes.
0:23:13 – (Terry): Personal art projects, like, everywhere. I kind of looked a bunch of places. I was like, what about.
0:23:19 – (Wendy): That’s what I’m talking about.
0:23:20 – (Terry): Like, is that. Is that. Is that the takeaway? Is that. And I know the word is takeaway, not highlight, but I guess I was also. Also looking for, like, are these highlights? And. And then I went all the way around all that, and I was actually feeling a little like, like, why does.
0:23:36 – (Wendy): My wife have to bring me These questions, these life questions, and they asked.
0:23:39 – (Terry): Me to show up on a public podcast, taking inventory. I don’t know. Like, I don’t want to say I’m not a fan of it, but, like, I’m. I’m not the first person to be, like, in the new year, be like, here’s my resolutions, and here’s this, and here’s what I didn’t do great last year. And, like, I do it a little bit in work, but I don’t. I don’t really, like, do it. Like, overall, I’m just like, I shouldn’t have to wait to the new year to do something. Like, anyways, I was a little down about, like, so many things, and then when I came onto the choosing to be a great dad and just the fatherhood part of it, and I took inventory there, and I’m like, not only is it a 10, I feel like it’s 11.
0:24:18 – (Terry): And I’m like, okay, so if I were to choose any of those things, would it. Would I have traded? Heck, no.
0:24:25 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:24:25 – (Terry): So I’m like. I felt. I feel really good now about my takeaway. Whereas, like, in the middle of the process of looking at everything, I was just like, am I bummed about the year, or am I bummed about, like, my mental health or where I’m at? I was just like, I mean, of course there’s always, you know, places to things to work on. And. Yeah, but I was like, no, I’m not. I’m good.
0:24:54 – (Wendy): Absolutely.
0:24:55 – (Terry): It’s really good.
0:24:56 – (Wendy): And sometimes it really does take. Does take slowing down and being forced to talk about it by your podcasting wife. But, no, but, like, most of us don’t slow down. We will. We will avoid it. And, like, you know that idea that if you miss out on so much, if you’re not willing to, like, go there and feel that, like, ooh, that temptation to go and focus on the negative or feel like, you know, the. Like. Essentially what you were describing is, like, the feeling or scared that I’m not enough, you know, like, not enough in this. And, you know, but it’s basically a little bit of that feeling of scared of, like, failing and, like, to go there and then actually, like, allow yourself to look at it and then get into this. Like, oh, but here’s what.
0:25:39 – (Wendy): Here’s what I really want to celebrate is actually, I think, a beautiful process and one that if you. If you do avoid it, you probably wouldn’t have, like, solidified so deeply the immense way you showed up in, like, your own fatherhood. Journey this year because it will. I think it will go down in time as like, a highlight year for sure.
0:26:01 – (Terry): I. Yeah, I’ve. I feel it. And, yeah, I just think there was a. I was very, like, inspired and there was just this natural drive to want to do all of these things. Whereas, like, some of the other things I mentioned, I just didn’t have the same drive, you know, but when. When something came to, like, with one of the kids, it was like, oh, heck, yeah.
0:26:29 – (Wendy): And that is like one of your most natural gifts is like, you just care so much about your family and are such an inspiration to the world in that capacity. And it’s like when you listen to that, like, oh, this lights me up. I’m going to go towards that and just be confident in it. And I think then you naturally stop thinking that you’re not good enough in other areas, perhaps. So. Yeah, I love it.
0:26:54 – (Terry): Are you ready?
0:26:55 – (Wendy): Oh, my gosh. I’m a little nervous, but, yeah. Nervous, Nervous. Yeah. So thank you.
0:27:04 – (Terry): Yeah. That was just the half a drum roll.
0:27:06 – (Wendy): Give me. I want a full run. I want a full run. That was like. That was like the metal. Thank you. That was like.
0:27:19 – (Terry): You have to turn into YouTube to see the visual on that one.
0:27:23 – (Wendy): Okay, so good. All right, so biggest takeaway. Because learning, I would say, I think there’s two way to. Two ways to, like, say it. There’s like the PG version and the nod. So if you’re listening with kids, you can just, you know, mute the. Or pause this or put in your AirPods or something. But, you know, just not in the mood to. In the. In the spirit of my share, I’m just not gonna. Whatever. What is it called? Not Mute yourself.
0:27:57 – (Terry): Sensor.
0:27:57 – (Wendy): Sensor. Thank you, honey.
0:27:59 – (Terry): Welcome.
0:28:01 – (Wendy): So I guess the, like, PG version would be, like, learning to. This year for me was a huge step forward. Like, it felt like a million steps forward in learning to trust myself and also, like, really love, like, my black sheepness. And that’s kind of the PG version. And then the non PG version is like, I remember maybe it was like 10 years ago you got me a book for Valentine’s Day and it was a spoof off of Marie Kondo’s how.
0:28:41 – (Terry): To Tidying up or whatever it was.
0:28:43 – (Wendy): Tidying Up. But what was the title?
0:28:44 – (Terry): Subtle Art of Not Tidying Up.
0:28:47 – (Wendy): No, no, you can’t say that yet. The. The Marie Kondo one was the Subtle Art of Tidying Up.
0:28:54 – (Terry): Something like that.
0:28:55 – (Wendy): Something like that. You guys know, I mean, she was so famous.
0:28:58 – (Terry): It’s a big deal.
0:28:59 – (Wendy): And then Marie Kondo actually came out years later and was like, she kind of gave up as her kids got older.
0:29:04 – (Terry): Did you know she’s kind of a hot mess?
0:29:06 – (Wendy): She’s not hot mess. I mean.
0:29:10 – (Terry): Pretty clean and tidy.
0:29:12 – (Wendy): I saw an article that she was just like, yeah, I’ve, you know, definitely loosened the grip on having such a tight hitter.
0:29:17 – (Terry): She stopped showering as much.
0:29:19 – (Wendy): Yeah. But then you got me this spoof of her book. I actually loved Marie Kondo’s book. It was amazing. Never implemented anything. I think I rolled my clothes like twice or something in the drawers. And then I never did.
0:29:30 – (Terry): You touched a few things and you said, does it bring me joy?
0:29:34 – (Wendy): Does it spark? Joy was her like big thing. So I did that with a book.
0:29:38 – (Terry): With my T shirt pile. I remember doing that.
0:29:41 – (Wendy): And now you’re sharing your T shirts with Taryn. I mean, what, the 14 year old is now asking for dad’s clothes? Hand me down clothes. I mean that if that’s not winning in the fatherhood department and cool dad world, I don’t know what is. My daughter is not asking me for to borrow my clothes. Okay. So anyways, you got me this book for Valentine’s Day and it was instead of the subtle art of tidying up or something, it was the subtle art of giving less fucking.
0:30:08 – (Wendy): And I just remember it was not giving an F. I think it was giving less fuck.
0:30:13 – (Terry): How to give less.
0:30:15 – (Wendy): But it was a subtle art of giving less fucks or caring. It was definitely less. But anyways, I remember being hilarious. I loved it. But something about that really stuck with me. And over the years I’ve just been like, I’d love to give less fucks. But really inside I. It’s been quite the journey for me to release and I think this is everybody to some extent. But for me especially to really care more about what I think and what I believe and what I feel called to share, help the world with, believe in whatever it may be like and what God believes versus what other people believe.
0:31:00 – (Wendy): And stepping into creating this organization and running this organization, organization seven years later, like, whoa, there’s been so many seasons of okay, you know, you’re going to step into this black sheep world of positive parenting where still to this day, 2024, 8 out of 10 parents are still using the classic cammie down parenting model. Fear and force threats, groundings, spankings, threatening. Threatening of spankings are just totally not in positive parenting game. So right away, like from the beginning it was like, hey, you’re going to step in where, like, most people are going to say, no, they don’t want to learn with you. Right. And that was, like, a journey.
0:31:45 – (Wendy): And then, like, stepping into teaching in the church world and really bringing that work into the world where more than 8 out of it almost felt like 9.5 out of 10 people really had just been taught that hitting, harming, intimidating children was godly, and that that was the way to be a godly parent and to, like, be able to courageously step into that space and teach at our church for. I mean, it feels like it was like, what, six, seven years or something that I tell it at our big church we were part of.
0:32:25 – (Wendy): And along the way in the realm, I gained comfort every year. But it still was just this very uncomfortable feeling of trying to please people and not go too crazy. Everything was like. And there’s an art to it. There’s an art, too, of course, of helping people slowly and courageously and confidently step into that work. Um, but there was always this, like, dichotomy of, like, trying to fit in, especially in the church world, when I always felt like I was like, a bit of a black sheep. Like, there always felt like there was a bit of masking happening. And I never quite understood fully what it was. I just really thought, like, okay.
0:33:12 – (Wendy): And then this year, entering this year, I just feel like my eyes were really opened to some of. Some circles, many circles of evangelical spaces, and how much sadness is happening for certain people. And as I started to have more courageous conversations, whether it was about compassionate discipline and parenting or being an affirming Christian and getting the backlash of that in ways that, like, didn’t kill me.
0:33:50 – (Terry): Yeah.
0:33:51 – (Wendy): But, like, hurt so bad that it was. It was like what I was always avoiding. When I, like, masked myself and. And, like, in a room, I always felt like. I don’t know. I just felt like I was never, like, fully me, because I was like. I’d be, like, a level seven, you know? And it was always like, this idea that, okay, you gotta make sure that you’re, like, fitting in, if that makes sense. And then this year came along and ended up being asked to step down from our church that we just loved so much in our town here. And because they had decided that me as an us as an affirming Christian, me as an affirming Christian, was just, like, not going to work for any type of leadership.
0:34:38 – (Wendy): It was, like, the most heartbreaking experience of my life. And it was also, I think, the most strengthening, because once that happened to me, I realized. And once we Left, I realized that, like, there was an entire world of people and churches that were, like, so on the same page as us, that cared just as much about justice, joy, inclusion, like, looking and helping the oppressed first and like, that were taking.
0:35:13 – (Wendy): That really had a heart for Christianity that was more about the widows and the orphans and the oppressed and, like, anti violence and all this stuff that we, I feel like, just radiate from our family. And all of a sudden I was like, oh, my gosh. Not. Not only did I not die, but I. And after it was a lot of grief and sadness and hurt and anger. I just feel like I sit now in a place where I’m just a lot stronger and giving less fucks.
0:35:43 – (Wendy): And it just feels really freaking good. And to have really, like, every month that goes by and I have, like, interview more and more guests and, like, meet more and more people that are just, like, raising their hands and saying, no. We fully live as Christians in this capacity. And here’s our circle. Like, welcome, let me introduce you to this person and this person, and here’s this author who just wrote this most beautiful Bible for children and this, you know, children’s minister and who’s like, justice, joy, and inclusion. And this person is standing up and saying, I’m not down with Christian nationalism or like, whatever it is. And you just start to realize that you’re not alone, that you don’t need to mask and that you really can just be who you are called to be and, like, fully step into helping the people or shining a light on where there is hurt and harm in the world that oftentime is, like, brushed under a rug or just allowed to continue on, that I’m realizing that with my, like, my black sheepness that I love so much now, I’m learning to love it more.
0:36:49 – (Wendy): I cannot function if I’m pressing down or, like, you know, hiding or not really tending to any part of me that is, like, freaked out by someone being harmed. Like, I just. I can’t. I can’t live in, like, a fully thriving way.
0:37:07 – (Terry): Yeah.
0:37:08 – (Wendy): So I do feel like that was like, the big takeaway this year was like, hey, God. Was like, look, I’ve. This is what I, you know, felt like was being whispered into my heart. I’ve put this. This drive and this courage in you to do stuff different and to lead movements and courageously and compassionately help people. Really just. I think our work here at Fresh Start Family is for families of all faith. Right. But, like, especially this year, it just. I felt like there was this courage being spoken into me that you get to help people who love Jesus just as much as you do, but are feeling like they don’t belong in these other circles. And the more you suppress your voice, the more they still feel like they don’t belong and that they are in the dark.
0:38:10 – (Wendy): And there are so many families out there who are just like, what is happening in my faith world. I don’t want to raise my children in a faith that they’re going to have to heal from. And that was just this big message that it’s like, I’ve given you this voice and this drive and this passion and this courage for a reason. And I need you to listen to yourself and trust yourself and you’re going to be okay. Like, it’s not going to kill you to be rejected, so to speak.
0:38:43 – (Wendy): So that’s my big takeaway. And it’s been so cool to learn kind of a little bit. There’s all these different assessments of like your personality type. Right. Like we’ve had someone on the show talk about the Enneagram, which I thought was just so fascinating and cool and learning more about my type of a two wing, three. And then recently started to learn about human design, which I think is so fascinating. Like when I look at God’s creation of the world, I’m like, wow, I cannot even imagine the systems that he had to have in place.
0:39:12 – (Wendy): And everything perfectly works in order, right? Like, it’s amazing. So when I look at like the human design, you know, system, so to speak, of understanding human beings, it. It’s not beyond me to think that the day, the day you were born and the time you were born and the place you were born has like a special way that like feeds into like how you were designed, you know, and just learning so much about that has been so cool. And learning more about how failure is actually like part of the way I operate.
0:39:47 – (Wendy): And that being someone who like operates in a pretty brave capacity in the world that like failure or even like rejection can be seen as failure when it’s not, you know, like, it’s just been so much fun. And I know that there’s like people in the Christian world who are so freaked out by anyone who talks about like science backed meditation that like heals people who have PTSD or are depressed and suicidal. Like we had someone leave a review I was telling you about a few weeks or a few months ago on the podcast that they’re like, this chick presents herself as a Christian, but yet she advocates for meditation and New Age Practices like manifestation. And I just feel like I’m to the point where it’s like, like, thanks for the one star review, but I literally could not give a flying F anymore.
0:40:38 – (Wendy): Like, I’m so done with pleasing people. And anybody that thinks that, like, science backed, like, great ways to heal and understand yourself and calm your mind and your body and your nervous system that wants to label me and any of my belief systems as like a non Christian, I just release them with so much compassion and I’m just done trying to please. Yeah. And that goes with, like, parenting. It goes with faith. It goes with.
0:41:10 – (Wendy): It just feels so good the more and more you step into, like, just fully being you and trusting that what your intuition is telling you is, like, actually spot on if you follow it. Because it’s often like that in Designed by God.
0:41:27 – (Terry): Yeah.
0:41:27 – (Wendy): It just feels really good and at the same time as scary as hell.
0:41:31 – (Terry): Well, I mean, you were beautifully designed to step into all of these things. And it’s taken chapters and times of being maybe scared and not doing something and then being scared and doing it and seeing how it feels and stepping into this and thinking it’s one thing and then finding out it’s another. It’s like, it’s all been this, I think, beautiful journey for you. So for you to have that big of a learning takeaway this year, I think is huge. And it’s very freeing.
0:42:05 – (Terry): And it doesn’t surprise me because very early in this whole kind of process. I remember when we first started looking for parenting kind of resources or help and taking classes. It was very parent centric. And then it kind of got flipped on its head a little bit of it being like, you know, the kid actually. The child actually has a seat at this table.
0:42:33 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:42:33 – (Terry): And so then there was this, like, moment to empathize with the child. And then it was like, whoa, okay, there’s that. And then there was also this like, hey, what about working on yourself, not just trying to control the child? And so there are all these things, I think, that had to be, like, looked at, but from a very, like, early time. You know, you’ve described yourself as a child advocate.
0:43:02 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:43:02 – (Terry): And so you’ve always been looking at, I think, the. The person that’s kind of like the. The one that has a lesser voice or is on the fringes or what about that person? How do they feel about that? So, like, to go from that being a child at first to then it being like, well, what about this part of society or this person that’s they’re they’re just wired or they just, they don’t fit the mold.
0:43:35 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:43:36 – (Terry): That this, like, majority of people maybe fit or what, want them to fit. And you have a heart for, for, for that. And you’re like, yeah, something seems off here. I’m gonna love them and I’m gonna lean into it and there’s gonna make a lot of people uncomfortable.
0:43:53 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:43:53 – (Terry): And then it’s like, yeah, I think you can only go on so long without. If that’s part of who God has called you to be. You can only go on for so long before you have to make a choice. Being like, I’m not fully being myself now.
0:44:08 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:44:09 – (Terry): And I have a voice and I could lean into this or I could please these people just, just to kind of fall in line. And you’re like, that’s not me. Yeah, it’s not me. And so, you know, I, I’d say, you know, and I don’t think, I mean, yeah, a lot of people probably tune in just to hear what they want or hear what they expect, nod their head, whatever. But if we’re going to really, like, try to be called to make our families in this world a brighter place, a more connected place, a place that values relationships, that sets aside, you know, skin color or gender identity or, you know, just what you’re into in general, it’s like, it, you, you have to, like, I think, be okay being a little uncomfortable and then keep leaning in. Otherwise there’s. And you’re just gonna tune into things that just make you feel the way you’ve always felt. Maybe that’s just been kind of handed down to you.
0:45:22 – (Terry): And then you end up loving those things, not understanding and a lot of times hating other things. And so then you’re, you know, you’re, you’re kind of just falling into the ways of the world, which is filled with a lot of hate, a lot of non. Acceptance, a lot of non. I shouldn’t even say acceptance. It’s like, not non empathy. Not, not. And not like, loving and celebrating everybody’s unique design and not understand. Understanding that everybody is their own individual person. So, yeah, I applaud you for just like, like, just saying, like, hey, that, that voice of fear, like, sit it down.
0:46:08 – (Terry): Run, keep going, you know? Yeah, run and keep going. Because, yeah, I mean, fear, I, I, I don’t, I don’t think anybody should succumb to fear. It’s just, you know, I think you have your, I think you have the type of fear that keeps you from, like, running into traffic, but this is a different type of fear. This is a fear that keeps you in a nice, convenient box by everyone. Nice convenient box for everybody. Doesn’t rock the boat and just says, you know what? We’re here and everybody else can be over there.
0:46:50 – (Terry): And I think you’re called to bring people together. I think you’re called to heal people, to mend relationships, to get into the messy places and bring things together. So I think that fear is, like, the thing that’ll cripple you from doing the thing that you were actually called to do.
0:47:10 – (Wendy): Yeah. And fear. Fear is so interesting. And it’s like, I’ve decided that my. My word of the year for 2025, which I’m probably going to rope you into another episode around that. So, babe, start thinking about your word now you think of a word for 2025. But I have already decided mine. It is brave. And the thing about brave is, you know, we only get to feel brave and courageous after we feel scared.
0:47:36 – (Wendy): Right? So it’s like I just realized, like, so much of what I do is, like, very. You’re. I’m just. I’m just gonna have always an element of, like, non. Non acceptance of some point. I mean, we’re living in a nation now where, you know, we just came out of a big election. It’s like half and half, right? Like, if you’re like, hey, I voted. I know I voted this way, like, half the people are, like, gonna reject you. Right? Like, so it’s like becoming more.
0:48:05 – (Wendy): Building that skill set. The jokey way, of course, is saying less Fs, but, like, really being able to just. Just look at, you know, feel through that feeling of. Scared of not being accepted, which we all know that we. We all have a basic need to belong and finding your, like, really trusting that it’s scary to be rejected. And that’s for so many people listening. I mean, they may be stepping into just stopping spanking their kids and leaning into compassionate discipline and their families. Like, you’re crazy. You’re being permissive. You’re being weak. I’m going to judge you when you come to Christmas dinner or Easter, whatever it may be, if your K gets out of hand and they’re learning to, like, step into.
0:48:47 – (Wendy): I’m okay being judged and still, like, doing what I feel called to. Like, listening to my heart, listening to my intuition that I don’t feel right hitting my kids anymore. I don’t feel right leading their entire childhood with threats and, like, it just doesn’t feel right in my body. Right? Like, it Just takes so much courage to know that there’s going to be rejection. There’s going to be people that are not down with you and that don’t accept you, that leave the bad reviews, that judge you and label you as a fake Christian, whatever it may be.
0:49:21 – (Wendy): And. But feeling scared is just, like a part of the human experience. And so I realized that in 2025, in order to, like, keep doing my work, to write the book, to trust that God’s going to give me the exact words to put on those pages. And. And because I’ve heard that writing a book is like, like crazy when it comes to, like, once it’s out there. Oh, yeah.
0:49:46 – (Terry): Like censoring yourself or like.
0:49:48 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:49:48 – (Terry): And just the editor even gonna say.
0:49:50 – (Wendy): Dude, the Amazon reviews. I’m like, all right, God, thank you for strengthening this, me and this in me this year. Because, you know, how are you gonna. How are you gonna do that? Like, there’s gonna be some people who just don’t. Don’t like it or don’t approve or maybe there won’t. Maybe we just thank God ahead of time for no bad reviews, but maybe. There’s probably not an author out there that’s never getting a bad review. But, you know, every time I get an email back from, like, a really just kind of nasty person that eats me up for something that I said or did or believe or labels me, it just builds it in a little bit more.
0:50:27 – (Wendy): And. And if you. And that does feel really, really good. So to be.
0:50:30 – (Terry): Welcome to the world of being an artist.
0:50:32 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:50:32 – (Terry): Opinion.
0:50:33 – (Wendy): We. We should record a whole episode on being an artist and how you guys deal with the opinions of others, because that is quite the journey. I can imagine.
0:50:43 – (Terry): I still remember Jordan had this sign on above his kitchen.
0:50:47 – (Wendy): His best friend, Jordan.
0:50:48 – (Terry): Thanks.
0:50:49 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:50:50 – (Terry): Said you’re entitled to your wrong opinion. Always loved that one. Yeah.
0:50:56 – (Wendy): And remember, too, spirit of. If we’re talking.
0:50:58 – (Terry): If we’re talking about, like, music, you were like, ah, punk rock, whatever. Just remember, 90% of people probably don’t listen to punk rock or metal. And they would leave a really weird review because they’re just not. They’re not tuned in.
0:51:09 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:51:10 – (Terry): And that’s okay. Assume the role that God gave you and be true to yourself and. Yeah. And I don’t know. I stopped cursing some years back.
0:51:21 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:51:22 – (Terry): But maybe. I mean, with my word 2025. And maybe it needs to be the F word. I don’t know.
0:51:29 – (Wendy): Okay.
0:51:29 – (Terry): It seems like a lot of fun, right? I don’t know.
0:51:31 – (Wendy): Yeah.
0:51:32 – (Terry): Yeah. Try it. Out again. Just kidding. I don’t know.
0:51:36 – (Wendy): Think on that for a little bit, babe. Let’s go hike. We’re gonna go for a sunset hike.
0:51:42 – (Terry): Just kidding. Mom, if you’re tuning in. No, I’m not gonna go backwards into that, but yeah, we’ll see. Okay. Just kicking it around.
0:51:50 – (Wendy): Ponder it.
0:51:51 – (Terry): I don’t know.
0:51:51 – (Wendy): Ponder it.
0:51:52 – (Terry): You guys let me know. Should the F word be Terry’s 2025 Word of the year?
0:51:57 – (Wendy): Okay, I’m down with it. It does seem a little fun, but we’re gonna think about that. Just, we’re gonna come back and record that soon. Word of the year. Hopefully we’ll be able to get that out.
0:52:07 – (Terry): You gotta really meander around a lot of words until you land on the word, you know? But yeah.
0:52:13 – (Wendy): Terry Snyder, I love you so much.
0:52:15 – (Terry): I love you.
0:52:15 – (Wendy): Thank you for being here. You’re the best.
0:52:18 – (Terry): Maybe you need to do like, a walk and talk, like a hike podcast sometime.
0:52:22 – (Wendy): It’d be too windy and like the dogs.
0:52:26 – (Terry): That’s the fear voice talking. They got good mics nowadays, dude. I see people do walk and talks.
0:52:31 – (Wendy): True. That’s true.
0:52:32 – (Terry): Well, maybe we could just have somebody, like, walk along next to us with, like, a boom mic like this. Like.
0:52:36 – (Wendy): Yeah, pay our kids, like, the hundred dollars an hour they would probably demand. Okay. Terri, I love you. Thank you for being here. As we chatted about this topic of our biggest takeaways from 2024. I hope that you guys find the courage to have this conversation with your partner. And if you’re single, do it alone, do some journaling and just ask yourself, was there a takeaway that you kind of want to solidify and just celebrate about yourself or the guidance, the teaching, the message that you received?
0:53:08 – (Wendy): And let me know. Shoot me an Instagram DM if this episode has blessed you at all. If you’ve enjoyed our conversation today, I’m rtwendy on Instagram or shoot me an email. But I would love to hear from you. Thanks for being here, families, and we will see you in the new year in 2025.
0:53:26 – (Terry): Thank you for showing up.
