In this episode, Wendy sits down with the incredible Danika Bryshaโentrepreneur, plus-size model, mother, and founder of the Self Care Societyโfor a powerful conversation about reclaiming energy, even on the hardest days. With raw honesty and deep wisdom, Danika shares her journey from battling body image struggles and disordered eating to embracing self-worth as the foundation for true wellness. She challenges the traditional view of self-care, showing how itโs not about elaborate rituals or perfection, but about small, intentional choices that build resilience, confidence, and a life that feels good from the inside out.
Together, Wendy and Danika explore what it means to manage energy holisticallyโhonoring natural rhythms, redefining productivity, and celebrating small wins with gratitude. Danikaโs story is a testament to the power of rest, reflection, and community in preventing burnout and cultivating a more vibrant, fulfilling life. She also introduces the Self Care Society, a movement that helps people show up for themselves with grace and consistency. If youโve ever felt exhausted, overwhelmed, or stuck in cycles of self-doubt, this episode is a must-listenโbecause energy isnโt just about doing more, itโs about choosing what truly matters.
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Episode Highlights:
- Redefining Energy: Understand the holistic nature of energy; itโs more than just physical well-being.
- Gratitude in Action: Celebrate small wins to foster empowerment and maintain energy.
- Energy Cycles: Identify your peak energy periods within the day and align tasks accordingly.
- The Art of Rest: Learn to give yourself permission to rest proactively, before reaching burnout.
- Community and Accountability: Utilize supportive communities, like Self Care Society, to maintain consistency in self-care practices.
Resources Mentioned:
Follow Danika on Instagram
Self Care Society on Instagram
Danika’s website
Self Care Society on YouTube
Book mention – โDo Lessโ by Kate Northrup
Catch Wendy & Danika’s IG Live about this episode
Watch the full episode on YouTube!
Unable to listen, or prefer to read along? Here’s the transcript!
0:00:02 Wendy: Hello families. Welcome back to a new episode. Iโm so happy to be here today with Danika Brysha. Welcome to the show, Danika.
0:00:11 Danika: Thank you so much for having me.
0:00:13 Wendy: Yes. Today we have such a good conversation planned around how we can energize our day even when we have low energy. And Danika, I am so excited to have you here and to be talking about this subject because as we chatted about before, we pushed record, we have been just in communications trying to set this up. And you have been someone that I respect for years and years since I found you and the work that youโre doing through your self care, society and all the things. So I know that you are just going to drop so much great knowledge on our community today when it comes to this topic.
0:00:47 Wendy: But would you start us off by just telling us a little bit about your story? And, and I mean you have such a cool, diversified story. You do so many cool things and youโre a mama too, little little one. So I know youโre so you got a lot going on, but you have chose support and spread light in the world in this capacity and I want to know where that passion came from and how you got here.
0:01:13 Danika: Thank you. Iโm so honored to be here. Yeah, I mean I feel like Iโm in this totally different life season and itโs funny, when I kind of tell my story, itโs like, oh man, you know, when you become a parent it just throws you like in a whole different direction. So I am certainly, as you mentioned, I have two little ones. So currently I have an 8 month old daughter and a 12 and a half year old daughter. So theyโre very little.
0:01:37 Danika: I work from home. Itโs just, itโs a lot. So energy is like top of mind as itโs always like Iโm always searching for more while itโs simultaneously trying to not be in that like hustle sort of burnout energy that I was in for so long. So just kind of going backwards. Yeah, I mean I have been an entrepreneur I guess for quite some time. I started, I was a plus size model actually for a little like maybe 15 years I worked professionally as a plus size model for brands like Target and you know, Forever 21 and and Iโm like blanking out benefit and bare minerals like all these different brands and that was really an interesting part, a journey of my career, kind of the beginning of my career because I spent most of my life really struggling with my food and body and dieting and disordered eating and sort of all of that.
0:02:28 Wendy: Yeah, you were a game changer for the world. You know, letโs not sugarcoat that like that was your career was a big upgrade for our society in very important ways. So I know thatโs a past chapter, but holy smokes, the contribution to the legacy of humanity is really beautiful.
0:02:49 Danika: Thank you. I mean itโs pretty shocking actually to see how the industry has changed since I got into it. When I got into it, plus size models were like just on the up and up. It was kind of a new thing. There was like maybe 20 of us that were in every advertising, you know, it was very small and we werenโt seeing it and now weโre seeing itโs so Iโve got, I was, I really got to be in it and watch the diversity, everything change. It was, itโs really beautiful and it really did a number for my confidence and helping me to love myself exactly as I am. Iโm, you know, Iโm over 200 pounds, Iโm 5 10, I wear a size 14, you know, Iโm an the average American woman. But in the media thatโs not what we saw for so long. So it was really a beautiful chapter and it actually led me to develop a lot more self worth for myself exactly as I was. And I think as I developed more self worth, I developed more self care and I sort of like fell into the self care space because when you start feeling worthy, when you start valuing yourself more, you realize that you deserve more, right? You deserve to feel vibrant, you deserve great energy, you deserve to feel supported.
0:03:51 Danika: And it sort of pushed me into the self care space. Now I just skipped over like a big part of my journey which was I actually had a meal delivery business for 10 years called Model Meals that I started out of my apart while I was modeling because food changed my life so much the way I, you know, I started with the whole 30, but kind of just navigated into eating less processed stuff, more whole real food.
0:04:11 Danika: And it transformed my life in massive ways. My energy of course, which I know is a big part of what weโre talking about today. But just like my mental, my mental clarity, my self understanding, just everything about me and I really wanted to make it easy for people to eat that way. So I grew my company Model Meals for about, I think it was nine years. We grew, we were acquired by a public company back in 2021. I stayed on for a little bit and then exited. And the company is no longer operating.
0:04:38 Danika: But it was an important chapter that Led me into sort of where I am today with Self care Society. So to to jump there. I currently have a company as you mentioned called Self Care Society. It was born from a lot of different places but really just realizing that you know, the same way people might get up and do physical fitness each day as part of their routine, we also need to do our like nurture our mindset, we need to do our mental fitness, we need to check in with ourselves.
0:05:06 Danika: And I had developed this kind of self care checklist as I was really struggling. I was really struggling with binge eating at the time and I was living in my parents garage and I was like in debt and I was struggling and I was trying to figure out ways to help myself. And I created this really simple checklist of like a few self care things, you know, like journaling, gratitude, whatever it was. And I found that just the simple act of checking them off each day had held me accountable. And when I built up enough great days, I was creating this great life for myself and that I could just focus on like how do I create a great day and how do I create another great day? How do I create another great day instead of being overwhelmed by the, you know what life looks like to great create a great life.
0:05:46 Danika: And I had gone on tour and my partner and I went on tour. We did an event with 66 event womenโs tour all over the country for 10 dang girl lived in an RV and I, I took a lot away from that, meeting so many women and just seeing how they were struggling with caring for themselves. And so of course so many parents there as well and finding, finding you know, fulfillment and finding self care and finding self worth. And what I noticed during that tour working with so many people and in my other programs was that I could give people all this like information but if they didnโt have a system to integrate it, I felt like oftentimes we end up with more shame and guilt because we know better and we donโt do better. And so self care society was built as sort of a solution. True that problem problem which was like itโs their guided community journaling classes essentially theyโre 30 minutes long. You just show up with a journal and you get to check in with yourself for the day.
0:06:41 Danika: And for me that practice has been so pivotal in I mean everything but in cultivating more energy which I know is something weโre going to touch on a little bit more today.
0:06:51 Wendy: So oh so cool. And where and you said so youโve had self care Society for How many years now?
0:06:59 Danika: Well, itโs been my brainchild for many, many years, but it has been in the world since 2020.
0:07:05 Wendy: Since 2020. Okay, so four years. And. And babies came two and a half years ago, right?
0:07:12 Danika: Yeah.
0:07:13 Wendy: Right.
0:07:14 Danika: And so launched in 2020. Baby in 2022 and in 2023. But yeah, one in January 2022 and one in December 2023.
0:07:24 Wendy: Amazing. And you said Self Care Society is really, you know, itโs around journaling, but itโs also around morning routines too. Is that accurate? Yes.
0:07:34 Danika: Correct. Well, yes, we have. They can be done anytime. But yes, essentially the idea is that you come to us, we help you set up your mindset for that day.
0:07:42 Wendy: Oh, so rad. And so what was that transition for you, like when you, you were, you had this brainchild on that supported you so much in order to feel more empowered and peaceful in your life, and then you set up Self Care Society and then kids came. How. How have you been able to walk the walk through the kids part of it? Right? Because we all know I just look at people without kids and Iโm like, oh, that is so nice. I bet. I mean, we love our kids. Kids are amazing. But itโs just a different game, right? Like, once you have these little human souls.
0:08:17 Wendy: So how have you stayed true to yourself? And maybe itโs just when this is career and this is what you do, maybe for you, because you had already set it up, it was easy, like to just keep the rhythm going. But how did that transition look? What did that look like for you?
0:08:32 Danika: Yeah, I think, I think there were some habits that were natural. Right. But for the most part, it was shocking and crazy and I think I threw most things out the window. And because the concept of. And listen, I had. I worked with so many parents, right. Like, I felt like I was going to be really well equipped. And you just. I think itโs hard to prepare for going from, like, I find I found the transition from no kids to one kid so much harder than one kid to two kids.
0:09:00 Danika: And I know itโs not the case for everyone, but for me it was like, just very shocking as to. To go from having so much personal time, so much, like to be able to choose how you spend the hours of your day to being essentially like having very little personal time. So it was really shocking for me and I had to like, really rewrite that. And fortunately, I worked with a lot of parents, so I think I had a little bit of insight into how they navigated things. But more than anything, I just had to be okay with dropping some stuff.
0:09:33 Danika: I had to learn to be gentle with myself and, and be that it wasnโt going to be perfect. And I think that was the biggest lesson was just that, like, itโs, itโs going to look different. I need to totally rewrite this to make it work, and thatโs okay. And Iโm going to find other ways to weave self care. And so itโs not perfect and it, but it changed in a big way. But think every month that passes as your kids get a little bit older and they little. Get a little more independence, youโre like, oh, okay, can add on a little thing, right?
0:10:04 Danika: Add on like one more little thing. And thatโs really helped.
0:10:07 Wendy: Oh, I love it. Yeah. Okay. Beautiful. Well, I know that weโre going to learn just so much more about what you do and teach and coach on in Self Self Care Society as we get into our topic for the day, which, I mean, we could talk to you about so many things. Danika, youโre such, just such a wealth of information and light, but we chose Energy Today day. And so weโre gonna, weโre gonna talk about four tips to energize our days, even when we feel like we have low energy.
0:10:34 Wendy: And so, as you mentioned before, every parent on the planet is pretty much looking for more energy throughout the day. Especially I feel like during those like 2 and 6pm hours, I swear something happens where for me. So Iโm 47 now. Am I 47? I think Iโm 47. Yeah, 47. You know, healing Hashimotoโs naturally. You know, hopefully itโs not horrible, but weโre just trying to get ahead. And so part of you is like, oh, is it low energy from that? Or is it low energy from being an entrepreneur and a mother and doing 10 million things a day when our bodies just werenโt set up to do that. Right? Like the lives we live in 2024 versus like 1910.
0:11:16 Wendy: We have so much to be grateful for, right? So many places where now we have safety and medical and all these things. But man, we have really created these lives that are so busy and yeah, itโs just a lot, right? So itโs like, where does the low energy come from? How does it hit? Why does it hit? What can we do about it? So talk to us. Just this first point. Redefining energy. Learn how energy comes from various sources beyond just physical health. Riff on that for a minute for us, please.
0:11:44 Danika: Yeah, Iโm smiling as you share all that Because I think obviously we can all, all relate. The other day, a couple nights ago, I told my partner, I was like, I donโt know why. I just get to the end of the day and Iโm so depleted. And he goes, you donโt know why. You have no idea. Look at your plate, you know, and, and hereโs the thing. I certainly am not involved in the hustle like I once was. Right? Like I just. You just, I canโt be. I guess Iโm hustling in a different way because parenting is such a full time job and then some.
0:12:16 Danika: But I really value at this point in my life spaciousness, simple, spacious, secure. Those have been my kind of like solid words for a while because thereโs just a lot of ease and simplicity. My calendar used to be so packed and itโs like so open now. And I really try and keep things simple. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. And maybe my simple is very different than someone elseโs, but at least coming from where I was when at one point I was running three businesses at the same time, it feels a lot better. Iโve got a ways to go, but it feels a lot better. So I love this concept of redefining energy because we do think of energy, specifically we think of our physical health first. And itโs obviously incredibly important. I am a huge advocate for self care and so much of self care is physical. Right. So I will touch on that because it is important for me.
0:13:05 Danika: Physical is my sleep. Right. I go to bed, I co sleep with my kids, I go to bed when they go to bed. Itโs so important. Itโs like I think sleep is the most important thing. Food is really important to me. Iโm sober. Iโve been sober for I guess four years now.
0:13:19 Wendy: Me too. Not four years, but okay. But a year and a half and.
0:13:23 Danika: ItโS like the best thing. Congratulations. Thank you.
0:13:25 Wendy: You too.
0:13:26 Danika: It really is. My partnerโs sober too.
0:13:29 Wendy: Mine too. Yeah.
0:13:30 Danika: Really a gift. Itโs really a gift. So, you know, for me, Iโve always struggled with some like sugar addiction. So Iโve actually, and I toy with this a lot, but Iโve removed sugar completely about four months ago. And from an energy perspective, that is massive. Massive for me really. Now not everyone needs a black and white thing like that. I really do identify as a sugar addict and someone who really uses as a drug. Looking at some past compulsive behaviors and all of that.
0:14:00 Danika: And Iโve been in overuse, Anonymous and kind of, Iโve done a Lot of, you know, been in the kind of food in that for a while.
0:14:06 Wendy: Yeah.
0:14:07 Danika: And so I will say sugar to me is like the ultimate energy suck. And itโs also the avoiding it has been really a giver of energy to me. And then, you know, fitness. None of these are profound, yโall. We all know about this, but Iโm just letting you guys know in a. Because I really love.
0:14:24 Wendy: Yeah.
0:14:24 Danika: Being practical. I want to give people practical tips. And then, you know, I work out walking. I have a desk treadmill. I use a standing desk. Try and get outside. Iโm a big organic gardener. Iโm outside in the nature as much as I can. And then, like, other things in physical health. Right. Nature getting out in nature is huge. As I just mentioned, Iโm a big, like, advocate of getting morning sun. I try and get my girls out there, set our circadian rhythms. Because all of this has to do with our energy. Right.
0:14:54 Danika: So putting our feet in the grass, taking walks, putting my hands in the dirt, in the soil, harvesting things from my garden that we eat. You know, that to me is huge. And you know, just like the. The mental mindset piece of energy. And this is a big one. And I think really important and a process that I do that I really think has helped a lot is I have this thing that Iโve dubbed the life sheet. And it. I love a spreadsheet. And itโs just a spreadsheet that has, like, I check in with every day. So Iโve got a column where I rate how Iโm feeling from one to five. And then I have a column where I say just. I just kind of like brain dump how Iโm feeling. Itโs usually maybe like, I donโt know, seven to ten sentences. Iโm feeling this way. Xyz. Itโs a beautiful way to just kind of get my energy, my emotions out onto paper and understand them.
0:15:47 Danika: And then I do my gratitude, which is, you know, really helps me with my energy. So thereโs a lot of these things that, I mean, I could go on and on in terms of like these practical energy kind of tips, but I think thereโs. I do all these things that really help with my mindset around energy. And I think weโre going to talk about, as we talk about different tips, like the other elements of it. Right. So I. So, so, so from what we actually think about energy and then all these different ways that we can manage it and actually implement these things into our day. So, yeah, I hope that answers the question itโs kind of like, itโs hard to kind of categorize, right? Because energy is such a holistic thing.
0:16:32 Danika: But all these little pieces add up, right? And like I said earlier, this idea that a great life is just a series of great days and a great day is just a series of great moments. And so of the work that we do in self care society that I guide people through are understanding, like, what does it look like to identify your peak energy? And how do we integrate that in really easy, empowering ways throughout our days?
0:16:55 Wendy: I love that. Yeah. And what Iโm learning every year that I get older. And itโs so great to hear you say all that. I have a tendency to beat myself up about self care because, like, all the itโs. As I hear you talk, learn so much doing, being a certified life coach and parenting coach, coach and healer of some sorts. For now, I think, what is it, like 14 years or something? Right? Like, that journey is so wonderful, how much you learn when youโre building a business to help others with that. Right. And the whole time youโre working on yourself.
0:17:26 Wendy: And so as I hear you talk about that, I check off so many of those ones, right? Iโm like, oh, my gosh, Yay, Iโm doing that. Iโm doing that, Iโm doing that. But then I do mentally how I feel like thereโs a lot still. Thereโs still, thereโs like the, the amount on my mind is so much like itโs a little hamster wheel that, like, never stops. And I have the. A tendency to put way too much on one small salad plate. Like, Iโm like, well, we could pack that thing full and then we could stack it very, very high.
0:17:59 Wendy: And then you go to eat the salad and itโs like, Elaine, I donโt know if you remember that Seinfeld episode where sheโs so pissed that sheโs like, why donโt you just give me a bigger bowl? Thatโs kind of what it feels like in my life. Iโ God, canโt I just have a bigger bowl? Can I have more hours in the day? So anyways, I have a tendency to pack a lot over, commit all these types of things. So itโs so mindset wise when it comes to energy. What would you say? Because I feel like many of us have these very busy minds where weโre.
0:18:29 Wendy: I really have enjoyed Sam Kellyโs work, learning more. She teaches about the invisible load on mothers and how much we carry in addition to our businesses. But what have you done to help with like your mindset piece? It does the morning and journaling just really calm it and bring it down. I mean I do, I teach a ton of nervous system work and still Iโm just like a little hamster wheel.
0:18:53 Danika: Yeah.
0:18:53 Wendy: Yeah.
0:18:54 Danika: If that question makes sense 100%. The, the biggest thing for me is, is how I use. I use tech. I delegate to technology a lot because so I get the thought thoughts and the to dos and the tasks out of my head and onto somewhere like I onto paper or into a system so that I can sort of exhale that I donโt need to remember the thing and that itโll get taken care of in the timeline it needs to get taken care of. So what does that look like? Practically?
0:19:22 Danika: I use a company, a software called Asana. Itโs just a project manager like any other project manager, you know. And I really use it quite simply actually itโs they. Itโs not the way I use it is not complicated. As long as you can set repeating events and tasks and projects and stuff, itโs easy. And I have a course kind of that I wrote that kind of shows, that shows all this. But essentially the way that I do that is I put all of the things like I would say I use my calendar as sort of my big picture of my day, right? The larger time blocks of how I want to spend my day.
0:19:55 Danika: And then I use my Asana to manage the kind of minutia of my day. And I find, and not everyoneโs like this, but for me, having many wins all day, where itโs like I did it, I did it, I did it really empowers me to get more done. And thatโs, I donโt want that to be the root of this conversation is get more done because thatโs not what either of us are talking about, right? Like a lot of times we do need to just delegate, take things off our plate.
0:20:20 Danika: However, I believe that lasting change comes from empowerment, not shame. And so however we can figure out how to set ourselves up to feel empowered, that is when we keep coming back to it. So I use a sauna for literally everything. So for example, in my Asana today it might say, you know, take my breakfast, some supplements. Itโll say my good do the morning reminder time life check in with my life sheet, write my gratitude.
0:20:46 Danika: This podcast interview will be on it. You know, putting my like reflecting after a meeting will be on it, doing letโs see, my girls naps will be on it. And then all the Sort of like random stuff, right? Your friend sends you a book or a podcast that you want to listen to, but you donโt have time for. I throw that in there on a project called like expansion and Personal Growth. Right. Or, you know, any, just any sorts of tasks, anything. And then in the morning, and I use it throughout my day and in the morning I, I actually have a task that says set myself up to feel empowered. So I go through it in the day. Iโd move anything to the future thatโs not realistic. And I look at my priorities and I share all this because this, this process has literally helped me implement anything I can dream of. If I can simply have a goal or a dream or an intention and I can figure out how to break it into something that is an actionable step towards that, a small step, then I can do it. And so I, I really like in the work I do around kind of like goal setting and planning with people, thatโs a big foundation. Itโs like, okay, how do we take this, this, this dream, this vision you have and how do we put it into this, this sort of way that is empowering and not, not overwhelming. So for me, use, using this, delegating to technology is such a gift because I really can just like take it off my plate.
0:22:08 Danika: And if I canโt handle it in that very moment, Iโm still get to take it energetically off my plate. I know itโs not going to get forgotten. I throw it in there and then I do it when it needs to get done. And I think thatโs so much of parenting, right? Of course thereโs the wor. The things that canโt fit on a list, right? And not everythingโs going to. Most of the time itโs like, did I do this? Oh, I need to remember to do this. I have to order new dishwashing detergent. I have to. You know, itโs like all these little things, right?
0:22:34 Danika: And itโs just like we can, we can get support in that not only from asking a partner or a loved one or friend to support us, but from these things out there that really help. Like donโt get me started on ChatGPT. I think ChatGPT can be the, like an amazing source of self care. Like Iโm really obsessed right now with how you can do that for self care. Every time I buy. I donโt.
0:22:56 Wendy: I want to hear about that.
0:22:57 Danika: Oh my God. Well, I mean itโs just as simple as like itโs really anything, right? Itโs Just time, right? Because at the end of the day when we say we want more energy, weโre also, itโs also we just want more time. Right? Because yeah. And, and so if I can save myself time doing something using chat GPT like oh my gosh, like what a gift. Because not only did I just buy myself three more hours of time where I get to spend with my daughters or I get to help someone do this or that, I also now have more time to give my gifts to the world, my unique gifts to the world. So I feel like itโs like Iโm just really.
0:23:34 Danika: I donโt know, I think technology can be such a gift. And then of course thereโs the process of just kind of like journaling and getting things out and getting things on the paper and making sense of whatโs going on in our mind. Because thatโs a big piece of it too, right? Itโs like a lot of times our brain is racing but weโre, itโs so much that we actually donโt, we canโt really articulate it. You know what I mean? Itโs just like chatter and itโs just jam packed with all of these sort of racing thoughts and ideas.
0:24:00 Danika: So if we donโt take that time to check in with ourselves and whether itโs journaling or you know, like thatโs why we have self care society is to give ourselves prompts every day. You know, you come and you get about five different prompts that you do in community and youโre really just checking in with yourself. I believe that we are our own greatest experts, teachers, guides, sources of wisdom. I always say seek inspiration outside, but seek answers within.
0:24:23 Danika: And so itโs this place to come and seek our answers and say how am I feeling? What do I need today? How might I improve from last week? You know, all of that. So I have a lot of kind of systems and practices that, that take. Create the, the mental energy I guess is, is what weโre referring to.
0:24:41 Wendy: Thatโs so amazing. The, the piece you said about the empowerment. Because so much of what we do at First Start Family is teaching parents about the power of empowerment with children. Like itโs so amazing how much it inspires a human and moves us to action and, and teamwork and peace and joy and unity and all the things. I was on an airplane coming home from Utah. I was at a aromatherapy conference and oh my gosh, this little two year old next to me was just so upset. She did not want to sit in her Seat upon landing, right? She was just crying. Or her young dad and mom are trying to help her and theyโre just like, itโs okay, but you have to get in your seat. Youโre going to be okay. You have to buckle. I know you donโt want to and you have to.
0:25:22 Wendy: And she looked at me in the aisle and I just was like, like, you know, hi. And then I. And basically, long story short, I empowered her. I was like, oh my gosh, do you have your own seatbelt? Do you know how to buckle that seat? Belt it like. And I started clipping mine loud, you know, so she could hear it. And Iโm like, I. Look at me. I was like, I can buckle mine all on my own. Can you do that? Can you buckle yours all on your own? Like, do you know how to do it? Can you show me?
0:25:45 Wendy: And it was instant. It was instant. It was like the faucet turned to like a smile. She hopped in that middle seat and she started with her chubby little two year, almost two year old hands trying to buckle it. And it took her like six minutes. And you know, I think her mom ended up coming at the end and rescuing her. And I was like, no, just let her keep going. Weโre trying to buy time here. But it was so sweet how she.
0:26:10 Wendy: Empowerment is underneath so much of parenting to gain cooperation from children without fear, force, intimidation, threats, bribery, external controls. So humanity thrives on empowerment, right? And so that really resonated with me because I am so freaking resistant to these lists. And I, we have. And then as far as a team of four, we have multiple. We have, you know, our, we have trello for our team. And I, our website manager, he uses asana. So then my brain goes a little like, oh no, what am I? Thereโs too many, thereโs too many systems. What do I choose?
0:26:46 Danika: Right?
0:26:46 Wendy: But that clicked when you said the empowerment. And thatโs really our second point too is gratitude in action. Discovering the power of celebrating small wins and honoring the energy that you already have. So I could see how that could really be important for me to check it off. But celebrate because I am so good. Like, I know a lot of parents probably are a lot of listeners, viewers now weโre on YouTube are of like, we will finish something. And then right away itโs like, on to the next.
0:27:17 Wendy: Now we got to get everyone fed. And whether itโs parenting or business, right now we got to get everyone fed. Thereโs probably going to be a meltdown because the three year old wants to skip his nap now. And we just forget that we had the most incredible morning of X, Y and Z. Or that the toddler is finally going into gymnastics class by herself when sheโs been having separation anxiety forever. Itโs like weโre just so quick to move on to the next thing again and whether itโs business, career, or parenting.
0:27:44 Wendy: So speak to us just for a minute on that gratitude and action part. And I think you said so much about celebrating the small wins but honoring the energy you already have and that you are doing.
0:27:54 Danika: Yeah, I think. And before I go into that, I think you just touched on something really important, which is the reflection process. Because, man, we, I think as parents, but as humans in general struggle so much with. We. We donโt take the time to reflect. We just donโt. We just, we think we do, but we. Itโs so rare that we actually do. I teach a monthly workshop where we kind of like reflect on the month thatโs coming to a close before we plan for the one that went ahead. And thereโs an exercise that I always kind of start with and itโs just less asking people to kind of look back at their, their photo reel, their calendar, their journal, whatever they use to, and make a list of what happened that month.
0:28:35 Danika: And I tell you this, every single time I do this, I think not much happened this month. And then Iโm kind of like down on myself. I didnโt do much, whatever. And always. And then I go back and I do the exercise, I take five minutes to go through and be like, hey, we did this. Iโm like, every time, Iโm like, wow, a lot happened this month. Month, you know, every time. Right. And we can take that into your example of the morning as well. Right. Itโs like, what if we went back and realized just how much happens in a morning with children?
0:29:05 Danika: And for, and granted, I donโt want to place value on productivity too highly either. Right. Because thatโs not the goal either. The goal is not like. But, but, but the reality is that we do need to be productive and we do have a lot to do. So I want to speak to that because itโs practical. Right. And so if youโre someone who is. For me, I can say as, as an entrepreneur that sometimes if, you know, even if I donโt have support with child care, Iโm very fortunate. My mother in law is incredibly involved and helps us out when my partnerโs working and we have flexible schedules.
0:29:35 Danika: But I do work from home and I Do work a lot. And the times when I have my girls on my own and like you said, I get to midday, itโs like weโre trying to get to nap time and Iโm like, what do we do all morning? If I were to list out what I actually did that morning or had maybe those things. Especially if youโre a stay at home parent or just full time, you know, child care, listing out the things that actually happen can make you honor yourself more and realize, wow, I actually did a lot this morning. Like I have on my asana, Billy and Sunny, my daughterโs Billy and Sunnyโs breakfast. Right?
0:30:11 Danika: Because thatโs a 30 minute chunk of my day. Right. Like thatโs not insignificant. Or maybe longer. Right. But by the time you clean them up, whatever. So these sort of things are wins and we can empower ourselves in that way. Now the gratitude in action, this is just about, especially on these days when we feel low energy is itโs so easy to be. To get up and being like, I donโt have the energy to work out. I donโt have the energy to go journal this meeting. I donโt have the energy to journal.
0:30:40 Danika: Right. Is to take this quick to have a quick practice of honoring the gratitude, the energy you did have. Thank you for the energy to get out of bed this morning. Thank you for the energy to drink some water. Maybe youโre feeling like that right now listening to this episode or watching this episode. Thank you for the energy to push play on this episode. Right?
0:31:01 Wendy: Heck yeah.
0:31:02 Danika: Whatever it is. Thank you for the energy to acknowledge the lack of energy. Right. Like to. To reflect right now and to use gratitude to really honor whatโs like whatโs ahead of you. Right. And I have a practice that I think is really helpful understanding and I know, I think weโre going to talk a little bit more about energy cycles. Right? But understanding how you want to feel and creating your action items your to dos from based on how you want to feel.
0:31:36 Danika: And Daniel laporteโs an author who, who, who sort of spoke to us a while ago and it just stuck with me so deeply. She said that when every time we set a goal or a desire or a dream, itโs not based. Itโs not that that we want. Itโs the feeling that we think comes with that thing. And so instead of saying I want to have a bestselling book, instead you have to think about what is a bestselling book going to give me. Okay. For me itโs going to make Me feel impactful, right? Itโs going to make me feel successful, right? So the goal is actually that I want to feel impactful and successful and then I get to re ask myself the question of how can I feel impactful and successful today?
0:32:10 Danika: And when I ask myself that question, I can come up with such easier wins to do that, right? Impactful. Well, I could send out a. I could put a post on Instagram of a resource that really helped me and help can help someone else, right? And thatโs all these ways that I can feel impactful today, right? So gratitude. I mean I have a gratitude every single morning. I practice gratitude. I think itโs so important it changes the way you look at life. So if nothing else to just stop and think or write down what youโre grateful for and listen, thatโs not profound. Weโve all know that gratitude helps, right? But are you actually doing it? Is my question.
0:32:45 Danika: Because we need to bridge the gap between knowing what to do and actually doing it. And thatโs why I always talk about these systems and stuff, right? So what can, what can help you actually take the action? Can you have it stack that action on making your morning coffee or, or when youโre packing your kids lunch or whatever it is? Like, where does that gratitude go along with the things that youโre already doing? What would help? Right?
0:33:06 Danika: And, and for me, that gratitude practice and I say thank you for things that havenโt come yet too. So I sort of use gratitude sometimes as a manifestation practice as well. But Iโve just found it to be so beautiful because I. Itโs an automatic flip the switch to what is working in life right now, what is good? Itโs so easy to be like, oh, thereโs so much to do and Iโve got a late start to the day because XYZ happened and blah blah, blah, instead of just saying like whatโs right in front of me, what do I have to be grateful for? And from that point on, I look at life with a different lens. So I think gratitude like, like can help us create or I guess sort of understand all that is good in front of us instead of all that is left undone. And one of my favorite things is saying thank you for the contrast.
0:33:54 Danika: So especially on those days when youโre feeling down in the dumps, maybe youโre sick, maybe you slammed your finger in the car door and itโs still numb a week later, Iโm for those listening, I did that. I have no fingernail now, so I have a band Aid. But whatever it is, thank you for the contrast that is showing me that man, itโs really important for me to not have like lingering pain in my life. Right. Or thank you for the contrast that Iโm sick today. Thank you so much for reminding me why my health is something I value so much or I ate a bunch of sugar. Thank you so much for. For the reminder that I feel so much more clear minded when I donโt have it. Right. So even if thatโs what you can find, thatโs good.
0:34:33 Wendy: Danika, the contrast. Thank you for the contrast. Yeah, thereโs a song. Oh, gosh, Iโm gonna forget. Maybe itโs Train. Let me see if I can sing the lyrics. Only you only know that youโre high when youโve been feeling low.
0:34:55 Danika: I think thatโs the lyrics.
0:34:56 Wendy: But every time I listen to that.
0:34:57 Danika: Song, Iโm like, when youโre feeling low.
0:34:59 Wendy: Yes. There you go.
0:35:02 Danika: Iโm not such a beautiful song. Turn off your podcast if they hear my singing voice. But that song.
0:35:08 Wendy: But itโs so true, right? So thank gratitude for the contrast. What a great way to say it. And in self care society, do you guys have a journal or a book or printouts that you use or is it guided? You know, itโs.
0:35:22 Danika: Itโs guided. So we do it. We do live and then we record. All our classes are recorded and then we have like an on demand library. So we do live classes. And whatโs really beautiful is how people engage in the chat. So thereโs a ton of. Youโre not visible or audible if you come to class unless you volunteer and want to come on camera, which we sometimes will do. But for the most part people just engage in the chat. Or some people just want to be a fly on the wall, which is fine, but you bring your own journal. And essentially the way that it works is we start with like an opening quote kind of around the theme.
0:35:50 Danika: Their classes are taught by a variety of different, like expert guides. So itโs really cool because get a variety of perspectives, but essentially youโre getting like, like four to five different prompts and then you get examples and then you get the time to actually do it in class. And I didnโt. I wanted to make sure that I did something that was not like, hereโs more education for you, but now go find the mysterious time to implement it that doesnโt actually happen. Right. So the idea is that if you show up for 30 minutes, youโre actually doing all the work in class and thatโs how I built most of my courses and products. Because I just want to be like, I donโt. I feel like I got tired of, you know, feel just being overwhelmed by all that I wanted to integrate. And so we do that in class for self care, societyโs classes because itโs, it changes all the time. We donโt have a journal but we do have like workbooks. I just launched a really amazing confidence course and we have a really cool.
0:36:43 Danika: And itโs seven dollars, so itโs very cheap. Itโs seven dollar talent, seven dollar, seven day confidence challenge. And it has a really good workbook with all the prompts and all that sort of stuff on it.
0:36:54 Wendy: Dang. Oh, that sounds so good. Okay, awesome. Letโs move into understanding. Understanding energy cycles. Talk to us about how we can identify when weโre most energized throughout the day and align our tasks to match those high energy moments for maximum productivity. Again. I feel like this has been something Iโve been trying for years and Iโm just, yeah, I just kind of like roll by the seat of my pants and then I push off things that I donโt necessarily want to do. And itโs like I, I always go to the business side of things. Thatโs where my pain points are at this point in my life. But Iโm thinking about parents too and like it feels, I can think, it feels so out of control with kids because you like.
0:37:34 Wendy: But then I think about grocery shopping. You can do grocery shopping at a different time, you know. So talk to us about this.
0:37:40 Danika: Yeah, and thatโs a great example. You just had one exercise that I think is incredibly helpful that anyone can do. So listen up is make a list of the thing, the tasks that you typically have to do, right. In a day, in a week, whatever, just make a list. And this is great twofold, right? Because if you want to start using a project management technology or something like that, you can use that to inspire that list as well.
0:37:59 Danika: But for the sake of this, you just want you to think about, okay, these are all the things I do in a day. So maybe I make breakfast, maybe I do the laundry, maybe I have my weekly team call, maybe I write my gratitude, maybe I pay off our credit card, you know, whatever, like the millions of things that we hold and handle. And I want you to make that list and then I want you to go back to the list and label each of those things as high, medium or low energy tab tasks.
0:38:26 Danika: So what you then make is youโve Kind of three columns, right? Youโre like okay, this task takes me a lot of energy, right? So writing email copy maybe it takes you a lot of creative energy to do that. And youโre like thatโs a high energy task. Folding laundry, low energy task for me, right? Like itโs meant, you know, I could turn on a podcast, I could watch something. Itโs, you know, it takes time but it doesnโt require a lot of mental energy.
0:38:48 Danika: So you can go through and just identify these tasks and then you can do two things with it. One, understand how to structure your days, right? So I know for me and I think most people are like this but weโll speak for everyone is Iโm I creative energy like mornings are, I have the most energy so I really have to figure out what do I want to do then at the same time as knowing that yes, if I wake up and go straight to my computer, Iโm and write emails, okay, I probably will be most productive. But, but I donโt want to wake up and go straight to my computer. That doesnโt really align with the way I want to live my life. I like spending the mornings with my daughters like getting sun in her eyes, whatever.
0:39:26 Danika: And so you have to kind of weigh those things, right? Itโs like okay, what matters to me and what energy space do I need for me, my morning routine prior to getting to my computer and working is me creating more energy for myself. I always say self care doesnโt take time, it makes time time. So whatever time that I take to practice self care, to work out, to clean my space, to organize my, my to dos for the day, whatever it is, whatever time I take for self care I earn back exponentially always.
0:39:58 Danika: Whether itโs as simple as just not making a mistake that I would have to go back and clean up later because I was clear minded, I slowed down. I took the time to plan like all of that stuff. So self care doesnโt take time, it makes time. So now you have this list and you can schedule yourself accordingly and know that like okay, for me, focus, work, block at this time right now with kids and the complexities of life, thatโs thatโs not always going to happen. And I think thatโs where we have to have graciousness and, and, and jessness with ourselves. Iโll tell you, Iโm still I. Every day Iโm trying to figure it out, right? Itโs like okay, well my partner leaves for work around 9:30 and then so I need to wake up at this time. Then I need to go to bed at this time and. But then the kids always, always need me in the more, you know, you just have. Itโs like thereโs a. Thereโs an acceptance we have to find, especially when weโre trying to, like, schedule and use tools for the stuff. Itโs like there has to be an underlying tone of sort of gentleness and gracefulness and flexibility so that you donโt. So this doesnโt all work against you, you know, and one thing that I also like to do, another kind of exercise that is an easy one to do is to. You list out as you envision.
0:41:07 Danika: This is the exercise for my U year program. But list, List. List out your. As you think about your. Your ideal life and how, you know the ideal year ahead of you can go. List out what you want to do at what freak. Like things you want to do at what frequency. So what do I mean by that? So youโre gonna list out, like, daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, annually. Right. So you have these five different time frames, and I want you to just put under each of those elements things that you want to do. So, for example, daily I know that daily I want to take a walk.
0:41:39 Danika: I know that taking a walk helps. Right. Daily I want to spend some time in the garden. Okay. So these are things that I know I want to do every day. What do I want to do weekly? Well, weekly I would love to go on a hike once a week. That would be awesome. You know, and so I make a list of those things. Right. Monthly, I would like to take a weekend getaway. Right. So you just make this list annually. I know that annually I want to do, you know. Know, I donโt know, take an international trip once. Once a year.
0:42:03 Wendy: Yeah.
0:42:04 Danika: So you can do this. And thatโs another way to schedule. Not just scheduling your day or your week, but thatโs a way to schedule your year. Right. Is looking at. Okay. Because the more that we can plan and the more that we take the time to pause and get intentional and say, okay, this is what I desire. This is what I want. And here is the way that it practically fits into my life. And then when we have that and all those placeholders, before we let someone else tell us how to spend our time. Time. And we take the time to say, this is what I want, we put it in. And then we can take that and schedule it kind of accordingly back into the day, like backing up from a yearly vision up into the day. Kate Northrup is someone that I Absolutely love. And she has a concept that she speaks about.
0:42:42 Danika: She talked about this in her book Do Less and she talks about it kind of in general, but it really spoke to me. And she uses the menstrual cycle if youโre not, if youโre not cycling. She uses the moon cycles to track the different phases of your energy. And, and it really resonated with me. And I think more than anything, what resonated was the sort of, in the menstrual energy, this, the permission to rest.
0:43:06 Danika: There was something about it because. So Iโm not perfect about it. But she has certain parts of your cycle where you want to, you can do your best at focused work. Right. And thereโs certain parts, your ovulatory, you say, whether itโs the moon or your cycle is for visibility and getting out there and whatever. And then thereโs certain parts that are more for creative, you know, so like thereโs different things that can be done in each cycle.
0:43:31 Danika: And then the menstrual cycle is all about this kind of rest and reflection. And so it really resonated with me, this sort of process, especially as women who donโt have this sort of same 24 hour time clock that men do are weโre a little bit more in a monthly cycle. Right. It really resonated with me because it gave me permission to honor my energy in these different phases of the month and the different phases of my cycle. Now I postpartum, I donโt have a cycle, you know, so itโs, itโs a little different. Right. So I use my kind of like life sheet and just personal checkout check in. So thereโs just, I just say that to say thereโs so many ways to do this.
0:44:09 Danika: Thereโs so many ways. But what it comes down to is are you taking the time to ask yourself what you need? Are you taking the time to reflect? Are you taking the time to pause and plan? Because thatโs how you buy yourself more energy in the long term. Yes.
0:44:23 Wendy: I love that Kateโs been monumental in my life to help me heal my nervous system and enter, you know, know, understand all of that. And yeah, I love that you brought up the compassion and the gentleness too because again, I being, you know, you just like I want to do it all and I just know that Iโm just not like Iโve been learning about that cycle stuff and planning energy and all the things for years now and I still just donโt do it. And itโs so I, Iโm realizing as I listen, itโs like I think my job is right now what Iโm feeling is like more compassion because I can feel the like beat up around myself even when I just think about. Itโs so interesting.
0:45:03 Wendy: So how do I build in more compassion of like, oh, it makes sense. Like, you know, just that remothering aspect of like, you know, youโre doing all of this and you will get there, you will get there. And again, the empowerment thing helped me feel more empowered. But itโs so interesting how it still feels like very big. Feels very big to like become a planner, become a journaling and like I have one member of my team, she is a planner to her core. Like, that is her job. At First Shirt Family, we call her our data queen. She does data numbers, budgets, spreadsheets, like planning. Right. And I am just, Iโve always thought of myself as so different, but yet every time someone speaks about the empowerment of planning out depending on your, you know, like what we just talked about, I get lit up. I open instead of constrict. And so itโs such a fine line between figuring out like who you are is a personality of, you know, Iโve always been like, Iโm just a fly by the seat in my pants person. But itโs like, am I really? Or is that just the neural pathway that Iโve paved over the years because.
0:46:07 Wendy: And thatโs what Iโm used to, right. And so dancing with that uncomfortableness of like, you can do new things and itโs going to feel uncomfortable and it may feel easier just to go grocery shopping after you pick up the kids from preschool. And once you look at it and you realize everyoneโs energy is low, itโs between that two to five hour when I am not my best. Like, what if I just tried a Saturday morning trip if I donโt have the option, but maybe on Saturday morning you could leave the kids at home and yes, you like to sleep in. And yes, you.
0:46:38 Wendy: But I mean, who two of the young kids are sleeping in? No one. But. But like, yes, it might be uncomfortable, but what if you just tried something new and see if it empowered you and see if it felt better. Right. So thatโs kind of where Iโm taking it right now. Just what would it look like if you just tried it, you know, for a little bit? Because yeah, with the new year coming, itโs always like that. You just want to go in strong, you know, and be like, this is the year, itโs. This is going to be the year that weโre gonna really, like, come out the gate strong. So I love that. And.
0:47:09 Danika: And youโre right. And I think Iโm so glad you said this compassion piece, because itโs a huge part. And the truth is, like, this is. This works for me, but it doesnโt. It may not work for everyone, right? And. But youโre right. Itโs like, itโs all it is is. It feels so hard to know sometimes. Itโs like, is this not for me, or is this resistance to something thatโs new or. And at the end of the day, no one can answer that other than us, but we can keep trying it on. And I think thatโs such a fun part about life, as we get older, is this, that we get to know each ourselves so much better every day and understand what works for us and what supports us.
0:47:46 Wendy: Yeah. And to look at the data, right, like, if youโre thriving and youโre feeling super empowered and youโre like, like, I slay all the things, my mindset feels calm and peaceful, and I feel empowered. Itโs like, great, keep doing what youโre doing. But if you are like, this feels.
0:48:00 Danika: Like a lot, you know, then be.
0:48:02 Wendy: Open to trying new things.
0:48:03 Danika: So, you know, what really has been, like, helpful is, as I was saying earlier, this. This, like, I track my energy from 1 to 5 every day, right? And so thereโs something numerically, like, thereโs something about having, like, data points in that way that are measurable, because Iโll look back at my life shift sheet and Iโll be like, wow, the last month or two, I have had fives. Every five is my, like, feeling amazing every day, ever. And. And then I get to pause and say, wow, this is really good data. For me that, yes, whatever Iโm doing right now is really working.
0:48:37 Danika: And it also helps me focus on wow. Like, yes, itโs easy for. Iโll put a five there, and then Iโll still go through my day and say, this, Iโm not doing this enough or that enough or whatever. Itโs also good sort of like, data to say, oh, you know what? No, like, things are really good right now, you know, So I like that process of the kind of numerical, how am I doing? Because it. I think it helps me.
0:49:01 Danika: It just helps me see a lot more clearly, like, how. How Iโm doing in general each day. And itโs very simple. So simple. Yes.
0:49:10 Wendy: I love that. Danika. Okay, weโll finish us off strong with our last point. If we want to energize our day, even if we feel like we have low energy. And that is understanding the art of rest. Giving yourself permission to rest before burnout. Learn the value of pre charging your energy. And again, like Iโm just. I. Itโs so funny how much itโs like this is the episode that I just needed so much today. Always in my life. But. And I have so much resistance to rest. Like itโs what I want more than anything in the world.
0:49:40 Wendy: And I can like feel my nervous system constriction.
0:49:43 Danika: Yeah.
0:49:43 Wendy: When I think about slowing down and like not getting everything done, like it feels impossible.
0:49:49 Danika: Yeah. Yeah.
0:49:50 Wendy: Speak to us about the art of rest.
0:49:52 Danika: Yeah. I mean itโs. Listen, itโs so. Itโs hard for me too. Itโs. I mean itโs, itโs. Itโs not my skill set and I have to work every day to like do it. I will say I think Iโve come so I used to think that I could skimp on sleep to be more productive, to buy more hours that I know for sure does not not work.
0:50:12 Wendy: Me too. Me too. Thatโs a non negotiable these days.
0:50:15 Danika: Iโm so glad that like I, unless I need an Iโm. I feel like for the most I donโt have a long clock. I have young children, but. So I donโt need one. But your own roosters, right? I have. Thank you. Exactly. My cute little roosters. So. So, you know, like sleep is critical and I think it actually took me a long time to even realize the value of sleep. So I can celebrate that. Right. I can celebrate the. That Thatโs. Thatโs important for me.
0:50:41 Danika: Thereโs something Iโve. Iโve always said that I try to do which is this idea of pre charging so you donโt have to recharge. Now of course, recharging is not bad. We. We want to recharge. But imagine if you were to.
0:50:53 Wendy: And.
0:50:53 Danika: And this episode has really turned into a big conversation about planning ahead. And that was not the intention. But I think Iโm realizing through this conversation that if we really want to have the best energy, we need to take the time to plan. We need. And we need to check in with ourselves and we need to be our own wisest coach and say, how do I approach my days, my weeks, my. My life in a way that supports all that I desire and supports my energy and, and whatever it is. So to me, pre charging so you donโt have to recharge. Is the idea that what if I built out, what if I figured out how to build my life in a way day that I never got completely depleted, that I never got totally exhausted, that I never allowed myself to burn out.
0:51:38 Danika: Oh yes, of course itโs going to happen, right? Like Iโm not trying to be this idealistic whatever, but it is actually quite possible to figure out what it takes for you to feel energized all day. When I donโt eat sugar, when Iโm working out, when I do these self care things that are now really like habits in my life and happen every day I get to the end of the day and like Iโm physically tired because I work out and I lift heavy weights and Iโm lifting kids or whatever. Like my bodyโs physically tired, but Iโm energized, you know.
0:52:11 Danika: And to me that means I. Itโs very rare that I actually have to have this like crash and burn like, like day where I just check out of life, you know. And so thatโs really a concept I think is really important is like are you eating enough rest and spaciousness into your days so that you donโt have to get to this place where you really burn out? I think so many of us are, of us are recovering from hustle culture. I think so many of us are empowered to go after our dreams, but also believe that we and believe we can do it all. And I do believe we can do it all.
0:52:47 Danika: But thereโs a very intentional, graceful way that it has to be done right. And itโs. And itโs hard. And so itโs just figuring out and if we never stop, stop to reflect, to check in, to journal, to do these things where we say like how did last week go? What I want this week? What did it. We never do that. Then we just make the same mistakes over and over again. We never stop to say this work, this didnโt.
0:53:11 Danika: So this is how Iโm going to move forward. We never do the analysis, right? And so thatโs why Iโm so passionate about journaling and planning and like the stuff that we do in self care society or our sort of workshop. Like because itโs what allows us to move forward with more intention. If we can move forward more intention, we can live a life that feels better on the inside, right? Like I love this idea of like how do we create a life that feels good on the inside? And I know thatโs what youโre talking about with nervous system and all that, right? Like that feels good and rest is just woven into that. And so thatโs always my goal is like to me and I donโt, donโt get me wrong, I get depleted all the time but my goal is always, how can I, I make sure that if I just got depleted this week, well, why am I depleted? Okay, then Iโm going to schedule myself a little bit different. Iโm going to say yes and no and set boundaries a little bit different for next week.
0:54:01 Danika: And I just. Some people have a higher threshold of the sacrifices theyโre willing to make. Nervous system wise, I guess, or what they want. I feel like Iโve been there, done that and itโs not worth it to me anymore. Itโs. I, I spent, you know, as a model for what, 15 years. I was on a flight every week. I was flying coast to coat. I mean it was crazy. I would fly and go right to a photo shoot and, and I was running multiple businesses at the same time. Like I was just, I just wonโt do it anymore.
0:54:32 Danika: And so I think thatโs part of it as well. Right. Itโs like what is your threshold? What matters to you? And right now with young kids like that, that matters to me. Itโs not my everything because I have work and I have my passions and I have these things I want them to see me following as well. Well but itโs really important and my nervous system and how I feel and that, that is really important. So.
0:54:50 Wendy: Yeah.
0:54:51 Danika: Yeah.
0:54:51 Wendy: So good. It makes me think of blame too. Like learning we do a personal heal a deep healing course twice a year here at first start family called freedom to be. And a lot of it is we learn to like release cycles of blame because weโll feel, I think what happens in a common pattern for many of us will feel, you know, weโll feel depleted and burnt out and weโll blame it on the kids, the marriage, the career, the crazy boss.
0:55:16 Wendy: No time, not having any support. And while those things are present sometimes like stronghold kids are legit intense to raise so much of it. If you can empower yourself and release the blame and realize that maybe you just are over scheduling yourself or taking on too much or you know, having a really inner critic like I was just on a, one of my high level clients other day, she was like, you know, itโs just silly that I feel, I forget if it was like you know, overwhelmed because Iโm not even, itโs not like Iโm even doing that much right now.
0:55:53 Wendy: And as sheโs taking Care of her like 81 year old mother in law whoโs very sick and lives next door raising two young children, healing from toxic religic religious trauma from being raised in like a very strict fundamental evangelical home, nurturing a marriage, becoming a parenting coach. Like Iโm like what are you talking about? Thatโs a lot. But like the inner critic of you should just, you know, suck it up. Youโre, youโre not even doing that much when really, you know, thereโs so much happening. And so that compassion piece and well.
0:56:31 Danika: A lot today, Wendy, a lot of what we talked about was, was actual exercises to list to so we can actually really acknowledge all weโre doing. Right. Because youโre right. So much of the guilt we feel is because we think weโre not doing enough and itโs just not the case. Like 99% of the time, I guarantee you, youโre doing so much and youโre just not realizing how much youโre doing because youโre not equating it to like we just, we donโt identify it that way. So I love that you, I love that reminder.
0:56:59 Wendy: Yep. And, and your, I think what so many people, what happens is we, we go into this, we want to do all this and then without the accountability and community, it falls flat. So the fact that youโre doing that in self, self care society is so exciting. I know. I am really excited to just take the next step and go see how I could maybe become part of that because it just feels like something I could really benefit from. And like in Fresh Start Family we hear it all the time that the reason why people have such massive success with the firm and kind connection based parenting tools when they failed so many times before is the community, is the accountability, is the coming together is feeling like youโre not alone. Consistency.
0:57:41 Wendy: Right. So thatโs just so exciting that youโre doing that. So Danika, what a beautiful conversation today. You are such a light and such an inspiration. So will you finish us off by letting listeners and viewers know where they can come find you, where they can learn more about self care society. All the things.
0:57:58 Danika: Yeah. Thank you for having me Wendy, and thank you for the work you do. I was telling Wendy before we hit record that that I have a ton of her episodes downloaded for a road trip that Iโm going on tomorrow with my little ones and Iโm just like, sheโs, youโre just going to be in my ear while Iโm breastfeeding and while Iโm taking walks and, and itโs just, yeah, youโre the community youโve created and the resources you provide are so valuable. So thank you for that and thank you for having me and letting me share part of my journey. Thank you, Danika.
0:58:27 Danika: Yeah, my pleasure. So Iโm on Instagram, just my name at Danika Brysha. And then we also have at Self Care Society for Self Care Society. And then we have a seven day free trial. So for anyone who is interested in seeing what weโre about at Self Care Society, dropping into a few live classes or on demand classes, checking out our monthly planning workshops, our community, all of that seven days free. Itโs super easy to cancel anytime. And then our membership is just 12amonth after that and you get unlimited access to all that stuff too. So itโs, you know, itโs really important to me that itโs, it is accessible.
0:58:59 Danika: Itโs a beautiful sort of add on to your daily routine. And even if youโre, you donโt have the time to sit down and take 30 minutes to do a journaling class a few times a week, even just popping in your ear, hearing the way people like what people share, you know, thinking through the inspiration, like thinking through a prompt while youโre making food for someone or cleaning dishes or, or carpooling, whatever. Like, like itโs pretty accessible to just kind of jump in and utilize it. So I would love to see anyone in this wonderful community there be such a gift.
0:59:30 Wendy: Amazing. And you said you have lots of parents there.
0:59:33 Danika: Tons, Tons of parents. And itโs so inspiring, like every, I mean, every decade from 20s to 70s. And itโs been really cool, especially people, you know, who are new, empty nesters, anything like that. You just watch them and they come and they share their dreams and then itโs like the next year youโre like, oh my God, I heard you talk about this. I heard you say you wanted to do this. And now you have an Airstream and youโre traveling the world and youโre, you know, itโs just so beautiful.
0:59:57 Danika: Wow. To have community of people who are really supportive and empowering, just like the community that you, youโve created. So, yeah, itโs really a gift. So thank you.
1:00:07 Wendy: So cool. All right, listeners and viewers, go check out everything Danika has to offer. We will make sure that we put that on the show notes. But thanks again for being here, Danika. We just adore you.
1:00:17 Danika: Thank you.
