Episode 9: Understanding the Four Categories of Misbehavior

by | March 28, 2019

Episode 9: Understanding the Four Categories of Misbehavior

by | March 28, 2019

The Fresh Start Family Show
The Fresh Start Family Show
Episode 9: Understanding the Four Categories of Misbehavior


On today’s episode, Wendy & Terry discuss the four categories of misbehavior that parents will experience from their children. Most children will use every type of misbehavior, but it’s also quite common for children to use one type more often than the others. When we, as parents, can begin to better understand these categories of misbehavior and how each one makes us feel, we will begin to better understand our children and how to effectively respond to them.

The four categories of misbehavior mentioned in today’s episode are listed below. Remember, in order to figure out what type of misbehavior the child is displaying, the parent must first identify how the action makes him/her feel. It’s not about what the child is doing, but how the parent is feeling!

  1. Attention Misbehavior:
    • Parent feels irritated & annoyed by their child
    • Child’s mistaken belief: “The more attention I get from my parent, the more loved I am.”
  2. Power Misbehavior:
    • Parent feels provoked & challenged by their child
    • Child’s mistaken belief: “In order to feel powerful, I must overpower.”
  3. Revenge Misbehavior:
    • Parent feels hurt, angry & sometimes even rage towards their child
    • Child’s mistaken belief: “When I feel hurt, I need to hurt others.”
  4. Avoidance/Inadequacy Misbehavior:
    • Parent feels pity for & the need to rescue their child
    • Child’s mistaken belief: “I am incapable, incompetent & can’t do things on my own.”

In This Episode Wendy & Terry Chat About:

  • The idea that respect, compassion, kindness & grace are more effective parenting tools than fear, force, bribery & rewards
  • What it looks like to get curious about our child’s misbehavior by examining how it makes us as the parent feel
  • The key to lasting change in our child’s behavior is finding the true root of the problem and then teaching the child how to communicate his needs in a healthy way
  • All children have a need for attention & the need to feel powerful, and parents can meet these needs in healthy and proactive ways
  • Encouragement for parents of strong-willed children
  • The beauty of beginning to model to our children the behavior we’d like to see from them even in the midst of their misbehavior

Mentioned in this Episode:


5 Positive Parenting Tips to Help Gain Cooperation & Dissolve Power Struggles with Integrity

Topics covered will include:  

  • How to gently guide your kids towards action, even when they don’t want to move or do what’s asked of them
  • Ways to see kids who push back a lot as incredible blessings & future leaders 
  • The importance of paradigm shifting with thoughts & beliefs about power seeking misbehavior 
  • How to implement a Pause Button or Heart Connector to ignite creativity & model self-control 

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If you have a question, comment or a suggestion about today’s episode, or the podcast in general, send me an email at [email protected] or connect with me over on Facebook @freshstartfamily & Instagram @freshstartwendy.


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