Episode 10: Using make-ups & re-dos to discipline with kind firmness

by | April 4, 2019

Episode 10: Using make-ups & re-dos to discipline with kind firmness

by | April 4, 2019

The Fresh Start Family Show
The Fresh Start Family Show
Episode 10: Using make-ups & re-dos to discipline with kind firmness


In this episode, Wendy and Terry explain what make-ups and re-dos are and how they can replace traditional forms of discipline that many of us are familiar with in our culture – including fear, force, punishment, and bribery. Discipline can actually bring about unity when parents use it to teach their children that they can do things differently the next time and they can repair relationships with others. Parents must begin seeing discipline as a time to mentor their child instead of as a time to punish or force an insincere apology. If we can embrace mistakes with compassion and grace, they become opportunities for growth.

On today’s episode you will learn:

  1. What make-ups and re-dos are & why they’re more effective than traditional discipline
    • Make-up: A way to repair a relationship that has been damaged. This leads to the child taking responsibility for his actions, greater empathy, and more awareness.
    • Re-do: A way to practice what the child can do the next time to avoid misbehaving. This leads to a new, positive emotion getting imprinted on the child’s brain after making a mistake.
  2. Focusing on connection over correction during times of discipline
    • The kiddo begins to see her parent as a mentor instead of a policeman
    • The parent can ask the child for what he wants in a positive, respectful way instead of telling the child what not to do
  3. How to implement make-ups and re-dos in your home with your kids

Terrin’s “makeup” to his teacher after a note was sent home about his misbehavior the week before. The next week, his teacher said his behavior had completely changed for the better & they were back to having peaceful, productive days packed with learning & smiles.

“I promise that I will: Listen, Behave & Not Talk” Love, Terrin

More about what Wendy & Terry chat about in this episode:

  • Logical steps to follow for both a re-do and a make-up when misbehavior occurs and discipline is needed
  • The concept that behavior change starts with the parent getting curious and seeking to understand what emotional needs aren’t currently being met in their child’s life
  • How a parent can help the child get her needs met in a respectful way, like a teacher would do
  • The important balance of having the child feel heard and understood while also being held accountable by their parent
  • Seeing mistakes and misbehavior as an opportunity to teach our children instead of seeing it as something bad that needs to be immediately corrected

Mentioned in this Episode:

Raising A Strong Willed, Intense or Sensitive Child? If yes, I have a FREE guide for you!

This free planning worksheet will give you ways to build connection & ideas on how to work WITH them instead of trying to change them. Click HERE to get your free worksheet now.

If you have a question, comment or a suggestion about today’s episode, or the podcast in general, send me an email at [email protected] or connect with me over on Facebook @freshstartfamily & Instagram @freshstartwendy.


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