On this episode of The Fresh Start Family Show, Wendy chats with Danielle Binns – Certified Nutritionist, Picky Eating Expert, and mom of three. After having a daughter born with a heart defect and was labeled “failure to thrive”, Danielle found her passion in helping families make meal planning more joyful, especially for parents of picky eaters.
This conversation helps us understand the correlation between our beautifully strong-willed kids who often end up being picky eaters too. It’s not us against them that gets results. Making a plan and getting support helps everyone win.
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Episode Highlights:
- Often times, picky eating & strong-willed personalities go hand in hand
- We focus so much on the what to serve, when it’s really about the how approach we use
- 85% of parents try to control meal time in different ways out of desperation & fear
- We can get our kids to try new foods without threats or bribes
- Parents worry their kids aren’t getting the nutrition they need
- Kids’ low-blood sugar melt downs can lead to parents’ poor nutritional compromises
- Eating is the most complicated thing humans do (it’s the only task that utilizes every sense & organ in our body)
- Hyper & hypo sensitivities complicate eating even further
- When we celebrate the progress (not the results) kids make with food, they are more confident the next time
- We can give kids control over what & how much goes on their plate, & we can give them control over the music or where they sit, etc
Resources Mentioned:
Find Danielle on Instagram & Facebook
Curious Cookie Kids on Instagram
Learn more at www.freshstartfamilyonline.com/pickyeating!
10 Questions to Ask Your Child At Meals (Free PDF download)
Not able to listen or want to read along with us?
Here is the episode transcript!
Wendy:
This episode of the Fresh Start Family Show is brought to you by our Quick Start Learning Bundle to raise strong-willed kids with integrity. This two pack learning bundle comes with a downloadable learning guide and also a free online workshop with me all about what to do when your kids say, no, I won’t and you can’t make me in one way or another. Cuz we all know our beautiful, strong-willed kiddos resist in lots of different ways. Head to freshstartfamilyonline.com/free to grab your quick start bundle and get started learning with me today. Hello listeners. I’m so happy you are here for a new episode. I’m your host, Wendy Snyder, positive parenting educator and family life coach.
And today I’m excited to bring you Danielle Binns on our show who is a certified nutritionist and picky eating expert who is talking to us about when strong wills and picky eating collide. I met Danielle a few months ago and just kind of instantly fell in love with what she teaches her spirit and her story. And I’m just so excited for you guys to learn more from her. We tell you a little bit more about Danielle. Danielle Binns is a certified nutritionist, picky eating expert, and more importantly, a mom of three who gets it. Danielle experienced the struggles around trying to feed her family firsthand.
Her first daughter was an extremely picky eater, labeled failure to thrive and mealtimes were beyond stressful. After endless research acquiring certifications in picky eating as well as trial and error, Danielle transformed her daughter into one of the most adventurous kids at the table. She made all the mistakes at meals and is now on a mission to show other parents that there’s a better way to raise healthy eaters. Over the past decade, Danielle has helped thousands of parents around the world achieve stress free meals via her step-by-step online programs, raising adventurer eaters, picky eating protocol, and private coaching, which is called her Thrive program. She also makes food exploration fun with her revolutionary mealtime tools, curious cookie placement.
Danielle educates and inspires families while speaking at global pediatric conventions, consulting Montessori schools, and running eye-opening workshops for parenting communities. So I know that you really are gonna love Danielle. We just had a great conversation. I got to share a little bit about my story when Stella was born. My kids have never been picky eaters, but it was really scary in the beginning after I gave birth to my first born Stella, when I also kind of had doctors tell me that Stella wasn’t eating enough or I wasn’t making enough milk and there was just a lot of stress from the beginning when it came for providing for my child in the realm of nutrition and all that kind of stuff.
So I really love to hear Danielle’s story also because it’s very moving and again, the way she has used nutrition and empowerment and really coming beside her kids, especially her daughter who was labeled Failure to Thrive, is nothing short of like awe inspiring. So I’m really excited for you guys to listen. As always, please make sure that you share this. If you know someone that has a picky eater or a strong-willed kid that just has trouble with some foods, maybe they’re not like necessarily completely considered a picky eater with their their mom and dad, but you know from stories from your friends or your sister or your in-laws or whatever it may be that they really struggle with food and mealtime with their kids.
Like make sure you reach out to your friends or whoever you think may benefit from this episode and just shoot ’em a text and let ’em know that you really enjoyed listening or take a screenshot and share on social. Making sure that you tag me. I’m @FreshStartWendy and Danielle is @DanielleBinnsNutrition and we would love to hear from you. I’d love to connect with you guys in dms over on Instagram, especially if you’re listening to an episode and you really enjoy it. And then as always, if you have an extra three minutes, please leave us a review over on iTunes. We would be so, so grateful and just know that we appreciate every single one of you who listens to our show and is just a loyal listener. So without further ado, you guys enjoy this episode.
Please help me give Danielle a warm welcome to the Fresh Start Family Show. And oh my goodness, you guys, I almost forgot to tell you, Danielle is hosting a free workshop soon and I want you to go check it out. It is her popular free training with 10 proven strategies to help your child eat better and she’s a fantastic teacher. And so if you have any type of picky eating or drama around mealtimes going on in your home, you’re gonna love this episode. But I also want you to go check out her free training that she’s hosting soon. Okay, freshstartfamilyonline.com/pickyeating is where you can learn more and save your seat. Now we can get to the episode.
Enjoy.
Stella:
Well, hey there, I’m Stella. Welcome to my mom and dad’s podcast, the Fresh Start Family Show. We’re so happy you’re here. We’re inspired by the ocean, Jesus, and rock and roll and believe deeply in the true power of love and kindness. Together we hope to inspire you to expand your heart, learn new tools, and strengthen your family. Enjoy the show
Wendy:
Well hey their families and welcome to a new episode of the Fresh Shark Family Show. I’m excited to be here today with Ms. Danielle Benz and we are going to talk about when strong wills and picking picky eating collide. Welcome to the show, Danielle. I’m so happy you’re here.
Danielle:
Oh, this is gonna be so fun. And thank you Wendy for having me.
Wendy:
Heck yes. All right. Well before we get into this, this subject matter, I want you just to tell us a little bit more about your story. You are incredibly wise when it comes to picky eating and all the things, but tell us how you got here. I know you have a story that’s very personal about when your daughter was born, right? And so I’d love to know a little bit about how you became so passionate about this and then also where you live and how old your kids are.
Danielle:
Okay, well I will start with the latter part cause that’s the easy part. So I’m actually based outta Toronto, Canada. Did I say Toronto? Toronto. Toronto. People always know you’re from Toronto. When you say Toronto anyway. Oh, how funny.
Wendy:
Or a boot, right? You’re
Danielle:
Canadian a boot. It’s so funny. Anyone I work with in the US they’re like, you must be from Canada. Cause I heard the aboot. I never hear that. But anyways, yeah, so I’m a mom of three girls, always thought I was gonna have boys, but life surprise me. And so they are currently 10, seven and five and yeah, I feel like we’re in a sweet spot right now. I have to be honest with with their ages. Nice. It is chaotic, but as you know, parenting is whether you have one or 10 kids, it, but yeah, so my, my first daughter, so I actually worked in the corporate space. I was working for a large company at the time I was in nutrition school.
My husband’s like, you should really go to, you know, go into this or do this for fun. Like after, after work and study in nutrition, I had PCOS at the time. So I was like, okay. And I was told I couldn’t have children, so I was like, I’m gonna work on myself. And, and so I went into nutrition school, studied there, and I learned so much and I was like, okay, I’m gonna start a bus. I wanna start helping people with fertility or just taking care of themselves. And, and then I ended up getting pregnant when I was in school. So I like, you know, when the doctors told me, you probably won’t be able to get pregnant, I wanna be like, knock, knock, knock. Guess what? Hello? So I, you know, and I tell people that because it’s a, it’s, you know, we often think that genetics dictate our future, dictate our story.
And that is not necessarily the case. Like we can actually flip the switch, right, with our epi epigenetics. But that’s a whole other conversation. So what happened was, I am sort writing a blog, got pregnant, had the most blissful pregnancy, and then around like 37 weeks we noticed that she wasn’t growing. So went into get to ultrasounds, sizing ultrasounds. And in that one of our ultrasounds, which inconveniently happened to be on my birthday, they handed us a piece of paper in the sono sono sonographer room and it said congenital heart defect. And so that was when our world just did like a 180 and we ended up finding out she had a large hole in her heart, would need surgery at four months of age.
So that from the moment she was born, it was a rocky ride. She was born at four pounds and just nursing her was such a struggle. And you know, I know people tell you nursing’s hard, but it is harder than hard, especially a four pound baby. Right?
Wendy:
It was for me too.
Danielle:
Yeah. And it’s, you have these conversations with, you know, moms now, and you’re like, oh my god, nursing, I don’t know why I had three kids. You know, if I remembered vividly those situations, I probably wouldn’t have had three kids. It’s like mother nature something to us, make us like forget all of those memories. But anyway, so nursing her was hard. And I thought, okay, when we, she starts getting to solids and when she has her heart surgery, it’s gonna get better. It’s gonna get better. So she started solids, had her heart surgery, we had some complications with the heart surgery, which a whole other story, she has a pacemaker now. But we, she started solids and did not accept new fuse. Like it was such a challenge to get her to eat. We were constantly getting her weight. They kept telling me she’s not gaining, she’s likely gonna need a feeding tube because she was just, she was considered failure to thrive.
And that is the worst terminology that a parent ever wants to hear because we, we connect with our, our, the way our kids eat, we personally take upon us in terms of like, this is a reflection of my parenthood. And so when you hear failure to thrive, I, my initial thought was, okay, well that clearly means I’m failing at this. And I was a nutritionist. I knew what she needed to eat. I knew was like the, yeah, you know, the chicken livers and the avocados and all the things, but she just, if she wasn’t eating anything, it was such small amounts or she just had a limited repertoire. So anyways, this, this story continued and I was like, okay, I cannot let this determine our fate.
I, with the feeding tube hanging over us. I was like, there’s gotta be a better way. So I started studying children’s eating, started taking tons of courses, talking to experts in feeding, talking to experts in picky eating. And then I started putting, I put her on a plan and we tested these strategies with her. And I remember the day, the first day she told us she was hungry. My husband and I, I remember we were standing by the top of the, at the top of the stairs and she looked at us and said she was hungry. We’re like, what just happened? Because we’d never heard her say those words previously. And so it was little wins like that. Then she would try something. Then she started gaining weight. And I remember we went to the doctor’s office, Wendy, to the pediatricians and we had a dietician working with us at the time. So we were all in the room and they said, wait a second, she’s actually gaining weight and what she’s eating all these foods now.
Like, what are you doing differently? And the dietician in the room started taking notes. And I was like, this is interesting. You know, I’m clearly doing something different here. And so that then became this new turned, you know, we did another 180 and now she’s probably, she’s 10 and, and one of you know, the more adventurous eaters out there.
Wendy:
Oh my gosh, what an incredible story, Danielle.
Danielle:
It was,
Wendy:
I didn’t know that all of that. I knew that she was a little baby, but I didn’t know all of that. And how interesting, you’re my second interview today who someone who had PCOS and struggled with infertility or thought like the person earlier struggled with infertility for like five years and then just got pregnant one day. And then to hear that doctors told you infertility is gonna be, be a thing. And then here you are, three babies later, like, oh my gosh. Like there’s probably someone out there that is really gonna be blessed to hear that that amount of hope, you know, today, the A and then B, you’re the third person I know who has a kiddo who’s had the same heart thing and is now thriving. So how beautiful. Just, yeah,
Danielle:
You really learn through this experience. We spent a, we spent a month in sick kids hospital and when you see what kids are dealing with, oh, like missing a half a heart, you know
Wendy:
Yeah.
Danielle:
Organs full, you know, fully detached and like the, the fact that these kids are living and coming outta the hospital, like they kids are really re resilient what they need. And what I’ve learned is that they just need a plan. They just need the support they need. We need to help carve a kind of a path for them to make things a little easier in ways. And food and eating is a big struggle for families. And so, you know, Sienna was a, you know, highly sensitive as I might say, stubborn child, you know, strong-willed. So picky eating and behavior or personality tend to go hand in hand. When I consult families.
They, I’ll say, you know, what is your child’s disposition? Like what? And usually the strong-willed or highly sensitive kind of comes up in the conversation.
Wendy:
That is so interesting. And yeah, it’s like, as the hard subject mattered, like our sub topic or our title of the day’s episode is when those, those collide, right. The strong will and the picky eating. Like our first point to discuss is just how like, listeners need to know that you’re not crazy. You’re not taking crazy pills. Like when you feel like you’re gonna freak out because it’s so freaking hard. Again, I, I love that you can speak to this personally, I can’t, but I can only imagine, right? Like what that’s, I do remember, and I think before I go into that like it, it’s so hard for so many reasons and one of ’em is, is just the messages you get, right?
Like the failure to thrive. Like what doctor came up with that and thought that that was a good message, like a title to give a kid when you have a newborn mother, I remember the doctor coming in after I had had an emergency C-section with Stella torn placenta, absent birth. It was a miracle that she’s alive. I do think often that like Sienna, is it Sienna your oldest?
Danielle:
Yeah. That’s right.
Wendy:
Sienna and Stella. I often do think like, God, I wonder if like that strong will helped save their life. Like they were so persistent and determined to be on this earth that they made it here. They still made it here, right? Like, even though there were so many challenges, but like thank God we survived that awful traumatic birth. But I just remember the doctor coming in and her being Leah was like, no compassion. And it was like day three and she was like, well, she’s not gaining enough weight or she’s losing weight, right? Like they often do. And she was like, she needs the bottle failure to thrive. Like, you don’t want that to happen. Just give her the bottle. What’s the big deal? And you know, you have all these notions as a mom that you’re like, no, I’m gonna nurse like A, I was like, I’m not, I’m gonna have this beautiful birth and it’s gonna be amazing.
And then that went to crap. And then it’s like, no, no, no, I’m gonna, I don’t wanna give her the bottle. And they’re just a like, they’re just like, there’s not, for my case, and I hear this a lot, there wasn’t a lot of like compassion until the, what I, we called the milkmaids came in, okay. And then they were like the lactation consultants who were like these hippie women. And they were like, no, it’s okay. Everything’s fine. Your body’s working just as it should. But the doctors were not giving me that message. Like the milk maids were like, you’re gonna be okay, just keep going. And I’m like, but my nipples are literally like, feel like they’re infected and they’re gonna fall off. Are you sure? They’re like, yes, everything’s fine. You’re doing great. You have to trust us. And then the doctor was like, she’s losing weight and it’s just so d it feels so difficult.
So I can only imagine then if you have a child that’s underweight or has a health condition, it’s just a lot, right? Like it makes sense why you’re so stressed out.
Danielle:
Oh my gosh, I swear that experience shaved your off my life. I like,
Wendy:
Yeah,
Danielle:
I remember sending pictures. She used to vomit a lot. She used to like, you’d work so hard to get her to eat. And then she was, say –
Wendy:
Same with Stella.
Danielle:
Okay. And so then there was that, you know, and so there’s something called delayed gut motility, which is she people with the girl kids with her condition, they food just takes a long time to digest. So if you cross that threshold, it is coming back up. So I would, my husband went to work after two weeks I was doing this on my own. He’d come home, be like, it’s okay, it’s fine. I’m like, no, it’s not fine. And I’m like, and then I’d be sending him pictures of her vomit on me like day after day. I’m like this, there we go here again. Like this is what’s happening. I swear he was terrified to walk in the door every day. And I dreaded like as a, I’m a huge foodie. I’m Italian love food. And I had these dreams of, you know, going my daughter to restaurants and traveling with her and being able to bake with her and all these things. And we had Sienna. I was like, oh my gosh, my dreams are like, there’s no way this will become a reality for me.
And so it just really sucked the joy out of food. It was, it was, it ended becoming like I was dreading meals before they started. I was in it and like pulling my hair out, often running to the bathroom to like sheds some tears. She didn’t see me come back. And then the meal would end horribly. One of us would be in tears and then, you know, dread the next meal. So it was just like this constant dark cloud hanging over you, which is, we’ve got enough stress in our lives. I always tell families it doesn’t need to be this hard and feeding our families should actually be joyful. Like it doesn’t have to be blissful all the time. There should be moments of joy because ultimately what we’re doing right now with our kids, they are going to remember that I just, you know, put this quote out on my Instagram feed about, you know, your kids are not gonna remember what you say.
They’re not gonna remember what you did. They’re not gonna remember what you fed them or what they ate, but they’re going to remember how they felt at meals. They’re gonna remember how food made them feel, how we made them feel. And so it gives parents some relief knowing that it’s actually not about all the minutia, it’s about the overall energy that we’re putting out there. And it’s really hard for parents cause they just wanna go to like, what food can I give them? How do I serve it? You know, what’s a muffin? Gimme a re muffin recipe, or I need a meal plan. I’m like, it’s not about the food. It is, but it’s not. It’s about, yeah, yeah. You know, we, we focus so much on what to feed our kids, but it’s actually about the how and the approach that we use.
Wendy:
Hey listeners, quick pause to ask you if you have grabbed our free quick start learning bundle yet. If you haven’t, I wanna make sure you know why this is a great thing to get your hands on. Summer is officially here, you guys, which probably means most of you have your kids around maybe a lot more than usual. Those of you who homeschool have your kids around all the time. But those of you who have your kids in school of some sort are in a season where you have the kids around a lot. Maybe you’re pulling your hair out a little bit, maybe the siblings are fighting a little bit more. Maybe the routine has been upended and there’s not that like consistency factor.
And there may be more pushback, there may be more power struggles going on right now. And I want to support you with those power struggles so you know how to navigate them with integrity. I wanna help you really enjoy your summer, especially with your strong-willed kids who have a tendency to push back so, so often. So if you haven’t grabbed our free quick Start learning bundle, how to raise strong-willed kids with integrity so you don’t lose your mind, head on over to freshstartfamilyonline.com/free. You’ll get our beautiful extensive learning guide that just has so many helpful takeaways, mindset shifts, strategies that are going to help you face these moments of pushback with dignity, grace and firm kindness.
And then I’ll also give you an invite to a free workshop with me where we will take a deep dive in a classroom setting to help you understand how you can respond to power struggles without relying on fear, force threats, yelling, bribery rewards, external controls, all that kind of stuff. So again, head on over now, freshstartfamilyonline.com/free. Grab your free quick start learning bundle today. Yeah. And, and like so much of what you’re talking about is like it’s, there’s a lot of fears and like just emotion processing and like it’s, I can just imagine how tough that is.
But would you say a lot of your clients, the picky eaters, are a lot of them underweight, like the doctors have called them underweight? Is that like the majority or is that just some of your families just because with people I know a lot of them they, they’re always like, they’ve been described as their kids are underweight and they’re, they’re fearful, they’re scared that they’re gonna be the underweight kid or low on the percentile. Is that common?
Danielle:
For kids to be on the low, on the percentile and
Wendy:
And be picky eaters? Like the picky eaters that come to you? So the families you help, are a lot of them super stressed out because their kids are underweight? Or do you have like a lot that aren’t?
Danielle:
No, there’s a lot that are not, I do get the, like at the end of the day, right, we’re the only 10% or five to 10% of families have an underweight child. And yes, I do get get those, those families for sure because they resonate with my story. Like Sienna just went to the endocrinologist this week and she’s now the 20th percentile and from, from below, like you think about the growth chart, she was, there’s 0%, which means a hundred percent of kids are bigger than you. She was like negative 10%, which meant every,
Wendy:
How do they even have that?
Danielle:
Oh my gosh. I know, I know. She was like, it wasn’t even on her, her dots were always below the zero percentile. So the growth chart is a whole other thing that I have a problem with, but nonetheless, yeah, it’s, yeah. So, but yes, to your point, parents do tend to worry, kinda think of worrying on a spectrum and stress on a spectrum. It’s higher for parents to have underweight kids cuz they’ve got that extra pressure of needing to get their kids more food and more calories. Yeah.
Wendy:
And, and two more things we’ll touch on just in, in this idea of like why it’s so hard is number two on the list. I have that often because we’re talking about strong-willed kids too. And I, and it’s so fascinating that you’ve said that so many of the families, you help have kids obviously who are picky eaters, but also have sensory differences and also have the stubborn, beautiful, strong will. Right? But yeah, I think probably what’s happening, tell me if you agree, is that, I always joke that it, you know, the apple doesn’t fall far often with strong will. So if you are someone who has a disposition where you are like, you have that tenacity and that perseverance and that persistence and like you are strong-willed, then your kid, like one of your kids probably is gonna get it.
So the battle of the wills becomes a thing, right? Where you’re like, yeah, they’re like, no, and you’re like, yes you will. And they’re like, no I won’t. And yes you will. And then on top of that, like the hand me down parenting tactics that have trained us to make us believe that if we don’t have control then we’re doing something wrong, right? So like the cultural norm is like this focus on like if you’re, if you have a lot of control of your kids, you’re doing a great job versus collaboration. And which can lend us to feel so powerless if we’re like in this state where we’re like, whoa, we don’t know what to do right now. We probably need to reach out for some support. But that strong will that you may have like kicks in and then all of a sudden there’s like a battle of the wills.
Would you agree that that might be going on in a lot of homes?
Danielle:
For sure. The power struggle is like, yeah, I was just chatting with a, a family before this and it’s, it’s like, it, it really is like, well she said this and then I said that and then they did this and then I did that. And it’s like just all constantly one upping each other. I’m like, that’s exhausting. And the more we push against a strong-willed child, the more they wanna push back.
Wendy:
Yeah.
Danielle:
They’re equally trying to win over the conversation and, but when we relent, we take a step back and we, we don’t try to engage in this. I win when they try the carrot, right? I win to eat something on their plate, I win. It’s, it’s not about that. You actually wanna find a way to help your child leave the table feeling successful, but not like there’s any winning of a, this power struggle happening. Because then it just becomes this unhealthy relationship and this expectation every time they come to the table it’s like, okay, I gotta get my, my, you know, I gotta get my gun loaded here to like figure out what I’m gonna say next. When they retaliate,
Wendy:
My husband and I do a role play inside of our like foundational course, it’s called the Foundations Course, where we show what a power struggle looks like and you know, you’re pushing up against each other, like to represent what happens. And we always ask the students like who’s winning? And so fascinating to see, especially when I teach in a life format, but a lot of parents will say, oh, oh, the parents winning. And then sometimes they’ll say the kid, they’ll say the kid’s winning. You know, and it’s like, really no one’s freaking winning. You’re just stuck in a little bit of a stable, a lot of a stable misery cycle where you’re exhausted, they’re exhausting and, and you’re both getting p you’re both feeling powerful in this very unhealthy way versus learning to feel powerful in different healthy ways.
But it is, it’s, it is a trip. Like how I always thought, how fascinating. No I didn’t look at it this way when my kids were young, but now I look at it this way, how fascinating it was that I could handle big time stressors like, you know, did really well in high school, college marriage, finding a career, chasing a career, climbing the corporate ladder before I decided to do what I do now. I just felt like I was a boss at handling stuff. I was good with kids and then with my own strong-willed kid getting, if she would not put on a shoe, all of a sudden I was flipping my lid. Right? So I can’t imagine if I would’ve had a picky eater, I would’ve been the parent who was like, no, you’re going to eat the freaking carrot before I found this work.
Right? And even years into it, cuz it takes so long to become fluent in this stuff. But yeah, I can just see it how that happens. It’s like you’re just like, what is the big deal? Just eat, just eat some vegetables, you know? And they’re like, no, I want yogurt, I want pancakes, I want chicken fingers. And you’re like, it’s just so I can imagine how intense that gets in homes.
Danielle:
Well it’s interesting cuz so I do a training a couple times a year for my, one of my programs called the Picky Eater Protocol. It’s like a six week course for PA families. And one of the things I talk about is what parents don’t see is that we try to control mealtimes and meal time. The stat is 85% of parents are trying to control what their kids eat, right? And so whether it’s the form of just take one bite, eat this and then you can have dessert. If you don’t have that, then there’s no TV tonight. You know, all these different things. And in many, in 95% of cases actually maybe all it’s really out of like, they’re just trying to, they wanna help their kid.
They’re trying to do it in a positive, it’s an innocent response to the concern that they have, but they’re just desperate and they’re just grasping at any trick or tip that they find on blog posts or what they hear from friends to try and get their kids to eat. And so it’s in the form of bribing, it’s in the form of like rewards. It’s associating What’s that?
Wendy:
Threats,
Danielle:
Yeah, yeah, threats.
Wendy:
So it’s like if you don’t eat this then you’re not gonna get this. Totally,
Danielle:
Totally. And then now the child is eating just to avoid the threat, not because they want to eat the broccoli, right? Yeah. So even though we get them to eat it, we feel like we’re winning, you’re winning in that second, but beyond that, now the child’s like, hey, well next time they offer me broccoli, I’ll be expecting that reward, right?
Wendy:
Yeah. Yeah.
Danielle:
So we’re avoiding that threat. So there’s all these tools and I I just try to explain to parents that you can absolutely get your child to try new foods without it being this, you know, battle at the table and without you having to sweat on every meal, right? Yeah.
Wendy:
Yeah. And I love, I love that you pointed out like on at the root of it, it always is you do wanna help. Like there usually is this like, and again tell me if this is accurate, but like, so we talked about five to 10% have kids that are underweight, they’re worried that they’re the small kids, they’re not gonna develop well, like my little nephew is like that. I know that they’re just always concerned about him and they want him to be bigger, right? Like his dad’s a sheriff. Like he, I can just tell he like wants little Mike, you know, I am imagine he wants, you know, he doesn’t want Michael to be the smallest kid in the class. Yeah. Right? Like there’s that. But for the other 90% who just have the picky eaters, the intention behind like really trying to get your kid to eat better is, I think you’re saying is there’s just a lot of fear around they won’t be healthy, they won’t grow muscles in the right way.
They won’t, maybe they’ll be picked on if they’re the smallest kid. Like, and then on the other side of that, and then the other thing is control, right? Because that’s what’s we’ve been conditioned to believe. So that’s is at that the root of what most families are, the reason why they’re, it troubles them so much for not the under eight, not the underweight kids.
Danielle:
Yeah, no, it, it comes down to nutrition, right?
Wendy:
Nutrition, okay.
Danielle:
Yeah. It’s like my kid’s not getting enough protein, veggies, nutrients to grow to feed their brain, to like, they just, they worry that because when you look at what most kids are eating, it’s so very heavy on package food. It’s very heavy on processed food. It’s very heavy on like mostly processed carbs. And we’re starting to, to see ramifications of that, even in like dental structure, we’re seeing shifts in kids and more cavities and all these things, more braces need for braces because their, their jaws are not being utilized in the way that our ancestors would’ve with the different types of foods we’d be eating. Right? Raw. That chewing a raw vegetable is very different than chewing a chip. So there’s, so parents are feeling that that pain and that worry of wh how this is going to impact them.
And then they also see the low blood sugar tantrums, right?
Wendy:
Yes. The meltdown. That’s another reason.
Danielle:
Huge, right? It’s like, okay, they go to bed and they’re having a meltdown because they didn’t eat anything for dinner and now I gotta give them a snack. And they just feel like bad parents when they let their kids go without eating. So now we’re making accommodations to ensure we get that nutrition into them, we get that those calories into them so we can avoid the behavioral, you know, repercussions of that. Yes. Oh
Wendy:
That makes so much sense. I think just sort of, you know, for everyone listening like where you’re like, okay, I’m aware that I’m in this pattern. Obviously power struggles every day. Like so many of you listening are probably like in the pattern where you’re just appeasing, right? Like you’re, you’re doing the chicken nuggets, you’re doing the, the dry pasta, like whatever, just please eat. And you, so you’re like, you have this awareness around like, oh yeah, I’m doing all the things and I’m also bribing and rewarding. But that compassion piece of like, and no wonder like I, my intention deep down is like really because I care so much about this kid and like I’m willing to get help. So brings us to the next point Danielle. So talk to us about this point number one of how things can change if we empower them and give these kiddos a sense of control.
Danielle:
Yeah. So when you think about eating, it’s, most parents will say, well they have to eat like they need to eat to survive. But eating is actually the most complicated thing we do as humans, right? It’s the only task that we, that uses every organ in our body. It’s the only human task that uses all of the sensory systems. Okay.
Wendy:
Wow.
Danielle:
And there’s, yes, you think about like smell, taste, touch, sound, right? Eating is and there’s vestibular and propreceptive. So there’s a couple other senses that we don’t typically hear about. So they engage all of them and if any of those is off, either they’re hypo-sensitive or hypersensitive, then it makes eating more difficult. So sensory systems, it’s actually eating is more difficult than learning how to walk or talk. And two of my kids have since had speech issues and you know, and they didn’t learn to walk until they were like 13 months. So think about eating is actually complicated and your child wants to be a good eater. They just don’t have the tools or know the steps to take.
So we can, if we can, you know, see progress by giving our kids the opportunity to explore foods using their sensory system, give them the opportunity, don’t think about, okay, I put the carrot on their plate, they shouldn’t eat the carrot cause it’s just a carrot. Think about how can I make that carrot friendly for them? And I know parents have, even when I work with them one-on-one, they, they get it. They’re like, Hey, I love that. I understand. And they try to put it into practice and they get stacked cause they’re like, oh, what do I say? And they’re, I’m too tired to get creative. And so that’s why I ended up creating the curious cookie products, which I think we talked about.
Wendy:
I love those products. Yes. They’re so good. The little mats, right?
Danielle:
Well I don’t if we’re doing how much is video, but I’ll just show this in case this is a, but yeah, it’s, it’s a mat that takes your kids on a sensory journey through all of these different sensory towns. And so they get kids love checking stuff off, so they check it off on this reusable map so they can wipe it off after they fill in the, what I call the like-o meter. So it’s like, I really like the way this food looks today or I might like it tomorrow. I really like the way this food feels today. I might like it tomorrow. So it’s all positive language. It’s not a thumbs up, thumbs down and
Wendy:
Oh, that’s brilliant Danielle.
Danielle:
Well what what’s great about it is, is, is it, you know, we talk about strong-willed kids and we want them to get to the end of the mat. We want them to get to the end of that path in Tasteville, but they need to take the baby steps along the way. And so if we celebrate the progress, not the results, the progress that our kids are making with engaging with foods, they are more confident the next time around like, okay, mommy was actually okay. They, she was actually happy that I was, you know, feeling, touching the food and talking about how it felt or I, you know, I, I looked at it and it’s like then okay I can do the next step. She didn’t expect me to eat it. Right. Often it’s like we, they feel like they need to eat it. Yeah. But when you use something like the mat, it’s not till the last step that that food actually goes on their mouth.
So they have control over the experience versus mom and dad saying try it or else there’s no dessert.
Wendy:
Oh that’s so amazing. Yeah. And strong-willed kids, if it is their idea and if they are in charge of the process, they become so much more cooperative and willing and, and courageous. Right? Like, but as soon as they feel that pressure and the lack of control, they just dig their feet in the mud. Which is by the way exactly how I operate. Someone like pressures me or handles me like in a disrespectful way. I’m like, oh I’m gonna push back even more now. You know? It’s like,
Danielle:
Well this is what, and it’s, it’s a bit counterintuitive cause when I was saying no, you actually get to control how you’re gonna explore this food and yeah they love, they become an explorer, right. Or food scientist and they love playing that character of yeah, just looking at food through a different lens and a playful lens versus a, oh god, it’s on my plate, I gotta eat it. It’s like, no, it’s, there’s food can be fun. And the reason why I called it Curious Cookie is because we want our kids to be curious about foods. Yeah. They need to be curious, to be excited, to want to try it. If they’re eating it just because they’re trying to avoid the threat or get a bribe or a reward, then they’re not eating for the right reasons.
They’re not eating for the intrinsic reason of the desire to wanna try the food. They’re eating it just to get you off your back and that’s not what we want.
Wendy:
Yep. It’s so beautiful. And we’ll make sure we link all of this, you guys in the show notes so you can check out this awesome map that you can get of Danielle’s. And then I’ve heard that when it comes to empowerment for picky eaters and strong-willed kids that be letting them serve themselves can often be a great tactic or strategy. Is that something you recommend Danielle? Whereas like you have a few things on the table that you know they’re gonna love and then some things that you might be encouraging them to try but they can like serve themselves. Is that –
Danielle:
Yes, absolutely. So with the serving of themselves, so what happens is when we put food on our kids’ plate, we’re essentially telling them, okay honey, this is what I expect you to eat and how much I expect you to eat of it. So now that’s contr that control where that is a, we, we are exerting control and into their realm of their space of where, where they want to feel that sense of independence. But if you start with an empty plate and you let them choose what goes on their plate now it’s like, oh, I get to decide. Well, often I hear parents telling me that their kids are putting food on their plate, that they’ve had to pressure them to do so before they wouldn’t allow because it’s their decision. So there are so many ways that you can give your child a sense of control and it’s actually one of the first things that we address in when I work with them, when I work with families, whether it’s in my online programs or in in in private coaching.
And it’s, let’s, here’s what you are responsible for as a parent and here’s where to give your child a sense of control. So an example would be let them choose, you know, the, the music that you’re gonna listen to tonight, right? Let them choose where they’re gonna sit at the table or you know, so it it’s these little,
Wendy:
Oh it’s brilliant.
Danielle:
moments. So, so now even though you get, you are deciding what’s going on the table and they get to choose from the food that they put on their plate, they get little other opportunities to feel that sense of independence.
Wendy:
I love that. And I’ve also heard, and then we’ll get into point number two about creating boundaries and structure. But I’ve heard this and I’ve also like this has really empowered me as a parent is to remember that I’m responsible for what I buy. Yeah. And what I cook and they’re responsible for what they eat. But if I, and I know picky eating get gets complex because you get so many parents get into the pattern where they’re just, they’re just dying for their kid to eat. So they end up buying the things that they’re really not okay with their kids eating all day, like granola bars or whatever. So I get it, I can’t, I have so much empathy I can’t even imagine how tough it is. And for me it’s helped to just realize if I don’t want them eating so much candy, I am responsible for stopping to buy the candy.
Cuz they’re not buying the candy with their own, they’re not buying their granola bars, they’re not buying the goldfish. I’m buying it and I’m bringing it into the house. So that’s helped me over the years to remember how much power I have in that area, but not in the forcing and the pressuring them to eat, which I don’t have picky eaters, but at this point I still catch myself where I’m like, come on, eat your salad, you’re gonna, you know, blah blah blah. I’m like, huh. But, and then knowing that I had this interview the past few weeks, I’m like, huh, look at that. I’m a bit pressury at the table So this is gonna help me, even though I don’t have picky eaters.
Danielle:
Well, you know, it’s, kids really thrive when there’s structure structure in their day, right? And this is why you see circle time and when you, they go to daycare, it’s like they know their routine because it’s when, when kids know what’s expected of them, they can behave in a way that we want them to. But if we’re like, surprise, there’s no food right now, or surprise now we’re doing this and it’s having some type of repetition is really helpful for you and for them. So they, they know how to respond and they know what’s expected. So if you say and and the these boundaries are not just with str with the scheduling, it’s also in the interaction. So if you say, this is what we’re having for dinner tonight and there’s nothing else, then they have a meltdown.
You’re like, okay, let’s just make the peanut butter sandwich. Now we’re setting precedent that, okay, well if you complain enough you can just go get the sandwich and, and you know, dinners Yeah. Basically it doesn’t really matter what’s on the table. Cause you can get, I get it, there’s an option B. So setting boundaries on if, if you say something or don’t like that, be consistent with whatever angle you decide or whatever approach you decide. Because with time with consistency it becomes easier, right?
Wendy:
Yeah.
Danielle:
Yes. They may push back, but that’s how we identify boundaries. They are testing what, okay, what is gonna, what is mommy gonna say yes to her daddy? What is that, that threshold? And they then they start to bump up against it like, hey, well they’ve said no lots of times and I, you know, and then they’re pretty consistent there. What’s the point in and, and fighting on it, right?
Wendy:
Yep. I’ve always heard that kids learn by the tender age of like three, whether you’re gonna stick to limits or not. Sometimes two, like, and that precedence gets set so early, not that you can’t undo it and unteach that, but the limit setting and, and sticking to it is so important. We have like a four step strategy we teach here about like making the agreements, letting them know ahead of time why this is a great boundary rule, which you could totally do with meal times of like, Hey, this is why I’m serving this tonight, this is why I love it. This is why I felt whatever. This is why we sit down and eat dinner as a family. And then you move right into like empathy, then you like restate an agreement and then you give choices. So I wonder if that could work with picky eaters too, but, but the, the, the long, like the point is you, you stick to the limit, right?
Because the constant caving I know just sure seems like it creates way more problems than just sticking with it and enduring those uncomfortable moments where your kid’s really unhappy about it. But I think for me, knowing that I can still have something on the table that they’re gonna like, would bring me a little bit of peace, whether it’s fruit or like, even if it’s like a small bowl of goldfish, I don’t know if that’s allowed Danielle, but like, even like just a little bit.
Danielle:
Yeah, well I always say, you know, always have you kind of have something there that, that they can eat this way if they decide not to, you’re like, okay, well it wasn’t because of what was offered. I know that they were capable of eating this food and, and for some kids, especially if they have a limited repertoire and it is goldfish, right? Or it is a Ritz cracker or a cereal or it’s something that doesn’t feel appropriate at a mealtime. But I always say there’s no rules. Like right now I’m working with a family, I’m building a meal plan and her daughter has a very limited repertoire. So we are building the plan and, and some days there is, you know, it’s strawberries with dinner or it’s, or yogurt like it, it’s when you’re, you work with what you have, but there’s also a way to expand their food list.
And so I make sure that we’re leveraging, we’re not just protecting the foods that kids have because we often see what’s called, it’s called the food jag. And this is where kids essentially they eat the same things over and over again. Which we often see with families now whether it’s same snacks, the same type of fruit or whatnot, and then they get sick of it and then it falls off. So now their food list is shrinking and we want the opposite to happen. We want their food list to grow. And you do that by protecting the list they currently have and by expanding the, the expanding their list based on what we know they already like.
Wendy:
Hmm. So awesome. Okay, talk to us about our last point. Set expectations for how meals will go. So this sounds like, you know, agreements ahead of time letting, like, especially for strong-willed kids, like they hate to be surprised. Yeah. They like, they love to know what to expect against. There’s a sense of control for all of us, like if we know what’s ahead of us and what we can expect. But talk to us a little bit about how we do that when it comes to meals and eating.
Danielle:
Yeah, absolutely. It’s funny cause I always say to families, kids only like surprises on their birthday when it comes to food. They don’t wanna be surprised. So when you let your child know, so instead of, you know, at the, in the middle of the meal or at the end of the meal when your child says, I’m not hungry anymore but I wanna snack. And you say, well, and you’ve always given them a snack right after dinner you say, no, actually there’s no snack tonight. That’s not gonna go over well. But before the meal you say, this is what we’re having, this is why we’re having it. And you know, the kinda the agreements that you had mentioned earlier, Wendy, but then also let them know and this is, this is it. So the kitchen’s closed after dinner and here’s why. Right? So now you’ve set the expectation, they might not like it, they may come against you and, and and, and you know, and try to try to fight that after dinner.
But they’ve had this expectation set and then when you are consistent with it, then that expectation becomes more firm and understood and sets that boundary. So yeah, letting your child know this is what is expected of you, this is what we’re gonna do. So, you know, we’re gonna put the food out there. You can decide how much goes on your plate. And also if you really want to be held consistent, tell your child what the plan is. So for example, I’m not going to ask you to eat, I’m not gonna get you to take a bite of this. So now your child can call you out because there will be moments when you want to pull your hair out and you’re like, ah, I’m just gonna do the thing that feels, you know, right, right now, even though it’s gonna make me feel icky later, I’m just gonna do it cuz I, I’m just desperate and I want them to eat.
But now your child’s gonna keep you in line and so you kind of create an agreement together, right? So I, I wanna actually have fun with you at the table and it’s not fun when I’m telling you, you can only eat this or eat that. So you get to decide what you eat. But I get to decide what goes on the table. And so setting that expectation with them at the get-go can really help because their child doesn’t feel, to your point, surprised or blindsided by like, what is happening here? This is how meals have always gone. Why is it changing now?
Wendy:
Oh, I love that because it’s a great way to like let your child feel powerful, right? Strong-willed kids love to feel powerful. They have this huge need to feel powerful. And we’re always like, people are always asking me like, well how do you actually do that? Right? It’s like, well that’s a great example. You put them in charge of like holding you accountable and like being the boss essential at the table essentially at the table and like helping mom remember like what our agreements are. Like strong-willed kids will love that, right? Yeah. Like, hey, let just, if you hear me pressuring you, then just let me know and it’ll help me remember like, oh yeah, that’s not what we’re doing anymore. We’re working with Ms. Danielle and you’re learning to get curious on your own and take care of your own body.
And I’m learning to trust that every, you know, blah blah blah. But I can just see kids loving that. Like anytime they get to be the boss, they’re like, yes, sign me up. Totally, right. Hey listeners, quick pause because I wanna make sure that you know the benefits of grabbing our Fresh Start Family Quick Start Learning bundle, all about how to raise strong-willed kids with integrity, which you can do over at freshstartfamilyonline.com/free. But we’ve had so many incredible families from all over the world get access to this free resource. And I wanted to just share some of their words with you so you understand how impactful accessing and downloading this free bundle is.
One mama wrote in and said, my husband told me he really noticed I have had a much better attitude and have been so much happier and calmer. It is amazing what happens to my overall mood when I’m not freaking out at the kids constantly and seeing their behavior as communication instead of an attack. That’s kind of a subject that we teach you about in the learning guide and also inside of the Power Struggles workshop that you’ll be invited to when you download and get access to this quick start learning bundle. Another mama wrote in and said, holy smokes, today’s workshop has changed everything for me. Once I realized I could identify what my kids were needing based on how their behavior was making me feel, it helps me so much to be able to detach and see the behavior as a signal rather than taking it personally.
And then one last mama wrote in, she said, when my five-year-old daughter always has a fit about eating dinner, she never wants what I fix even before she knows what it is. So tonight when she started to fuss, I told her that we had to try all the foods I fixed, but would she like to make her own plate? So she did and added way more food than I usually do. Cleaned her entire plate, no fuss, no fight. We also had to clean up the living room. So I told them the jobs that needed to get done, she wanted to dust and went above and beyond dusting. We had the best evening. That was after this Sweet Mama had attended our Power Struggles workshop with me.
Pretty incredible, right? And really honestly, the praise goes on and on. Another mama wrote in and then said, I have been trying all your techniques and it’s been working. My mind is blown. Wendy, choices in showing empathy has completely changed my five-year-old son who is a major power kid, God bless you, I’m so grateful to have found your work. Another parent says, well, remembering to slow down enough to pause is something I still struggle with. I am noticing myself getting more curious and asking myself what my child’s behavior might be telling me. And as a result, coming up with answers I have never had before without asking. It’s so easy to misread what’s on the surface.
So these are just some examples you guys, I don’t want you to miss out. So make sure you head on over freshstartfamilyonline.com/free to get immediate access to your Quick Start Learning bundle right now. And then also you’ll get invited to that Free Power Struggles Workshop with me. I just can’t wait to get you in a classroom setting so we can really do a deep dive on the strategies that I teach here at Fresh Start Family. All right, well head on over now freshstartfamilyonline.com/free or when this episode is done and enjoy
Danielle:
And even giving them a sense of control over you know, let’s say like the food exploration. So in, in my Raising Adventurous Eaters club, which is a membership for parents, every month we focus on a different food. And so let’s say it’s Rowan lettuce, which surprisingly is a really great vegetable leafy green for kid.
Wendy:
Ooh.
Danielle:
Cause it’s crunchy. Great one. Yeah. So anyways, I digress. But let’s say, yeah. So then they know this month is Roan lettuce. I gotta come up with, you know, let’s find out the grocery store. Let’s find different activities we can do with it. So now you put the ball in their court, or they, you they can pick from, we’ve got 45 different kits that we’ve done with different foods. They can say, oh, this, this week I wanna, let’s do the carrot kit, let’s do the rice kit, or let’s do the oatmeal kit. And so now they get to be part of that, the planning as opposed to it being on your page. So there’s so many resources out there, just bringing your, your child, depending on their age, of course, into the equation so that they can start to pick. So whether it’s like, okay, we’re gonna use, you know, rice as the food for the week that we’re gonna explore.
We’re gonna be food scientists, let’s, which of these rice recipes do you think we should try out? Or which of these food exploration games should we try with rice? Right. And so they can now pick and, and choose and feel that sense of control over the experience.
Wendy:
Oh, so beautiful. I love it. Okay. Well we have just a few minutes left. Danielle, if you wouldn’t mind hitting, what are some of the most common mistakes, even the most well-meaning parents make when it comes to picky eating that are actually probably making things worse, but we don’t realize until an amazing educator like you helps us understand, like, we’re not gonna get into all the reasons or like the reasons why they’re not working, but what are some of the most common mistakes? Like for sure it’s bribery and rewards, right? Like, eat this and you’ll get candy.
Danielle:
It is, it’s a desperate, like, acting out of desperation, which I totally get. And hey, sometimes even my kids or my husband will call me out. Like, is that part of the protocol? Is that part of the P&P? I’m like, oh, you’re right. No, it’s not. And actually just on that note, acknowledging when you make a mistake. Right? So you know what, you’re right. I, I’m, I take responsibility for, for saying that. I shouldn’t have said that because then your kids can learn when they can take responsibility for making their own mistakes at meals. Right? Okay. Yeah. So some of the mistakes, so definitely the pressuring, right? Again, 85% of parents are in that space, and that is just exhausting. Another is just waiting for it to pass. We hear it from our pediatrician, we hear it elsewhere.
Like this is just a phase. It is, but not for everybody. So picky eating typically surfaces between the ages of one and three. But for many kids, for actually one and four kids will continue to be selective eaters enter their adulthood. And now we’re actually seeing one and two, we’re seeing that number grow. And so picky eating is becoming more of an issue, I think. I don’t think the pandemic really helped with it. So understanding that, yes, for some kids they can out of it, but we often see is the behaviorals are spiraling, right? So as you were mentioning earlier, Wendy, we sometimes just take, we, we, we just need ease in our lives.
Like everything is so complicated, we’re busy, we’re tired after work. So it’s like, oh, just have the cookie, right? Oh yeah, let’s just make you a peanut butter sandwich. Oh, let’s just get the banana before bed. But now we’re giving our kids the path of least resistance, and they’re gonna take that. They’re never gonna say, you know what, mom, I feel like trying some asparagus tonight. I’ve never had asparagus, but let’s give it a go. It’s not gonna happen. Your child’s going to take what’s easier. So the, the mistake there is one is making things too easy for our kids, and two is ex just waiting for it to end. Because yeah, usually what’s happening is we don’t, if you don’t have a plan and we don’t have a structure to follow, we’re just throwing darts at the board or spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks.
And it’s like, one day I’m gonna try this. So that didn’t really work. Oh, let’s try this now. Our kids are getting confused, we feel exhausted, and we don’t have clarity in conference in how to approach a mealtime.
Wendy:
Yeah. And, and I can see how, you know, it’s like the idea of just waiting for it to pass it sure seems like from my eyes, I see the picky eaters that I do know. I can see how it affects their self-confidence. Like, so you, a program like yours, education like yours, like it comes beside the kiddo to help them understand like, hey, nothing’s wrong with you. You’re not broken. Like, you know, like, here, here’s what’s going on inside your body. Here’s some sensory preferences you have. Here’s, I’m here to support you. Like you’re, you’re going, you’re doing great, and we’re here as a team. We’re going to, but like the picky eaters that don’t get that support with the parents who might think like, oh, we’re just gonna let this pass.
Like, I can see how it would just affect their self-confidence. And then that, I’m sure, correct me if I’m wrong, Danielle, you’re the expert with your community, but that turns into shame, which is like deep down, like something’s wrong with me. And then it’s like relationship drama of like, my mom’s always upset because, or she’s pressuring me or like, I can see like, you know, that I’m in this uncomfortable family situation at Thanksgiving and my mom’s looking like it just affects so much with their Yeah. Self-confidence, right? Like, we don’t wanna let that, we don’t wanna let that happen. Like that’s, we don’t want that. So
Danielle:
No eating there is such an emotional attachment to food that when our kids don’t eat well, like we, we, we make it about ourselves. There’s a lot of projection on this is what I expect my ch you know, how my child to eat. And I see, you know, other people see them eating poorly or just snacking on the granola bar constantly, or they won’t have something at their friend’s house. So now it’s just feels like all this judgment is coming in. Yeah. And always it makes us second guess our parenting, but it’s, you know, you’re doing the best that you can with the information you have, right? Yeah. And so there’s, there is a better way and it’s, it really is about I just identifying this is what we’re gonna, this is how we’re gonna handle mealtimes and we’re gonna, we’re gonna stick with this, we’re gonna stick to our guns, we’re gonna make sure we’re consistent because it will help my child, even though it’s gonna be painful to me, ripping off the bandaid in the beginning, but you’ll benefit from it.
Your child will, because no, being a strong-willed child, they, they want to understand what role they play and making sure that they’ve got a say somewhere they feel like they’ve got a sense of control in the right places of the mealtimes. And one thing I find that helps, and I have a little like freebie for your audience, if, if you think that it would be benefit, benefit from it, I always try the, I find mealtimes can be so focused on just getting into conversation about eat this, try that. So I try to give parents tools or tips, things to say, to keep the conversation positive and inject some joy. And so I put together this handout that has 10 questions to ask your child at mealtimes that will keep them engaged at the table, will keep things light and also nice, get them trying foods, right?
So it’s kind of has double, double whammy. So inject some joy and kind of get to your goal of expanding your child’s food list so that, that freebie is, is theirs. I can give you the link, we’ll put it in the, I guess the show notes. And even if you just use one of them, you’ll probably find a winner in that, that list. And now you can fuel the conversations for meal times.
Wendy:
Oh, I love it. And I, I’m, I’m not positive exactly when this will publish, but I know that you have a lot of free resources and that’s one of ’em. I know you do masterclass often. So guys, we’re actually gonna create a page, freshstartfamilyonline.com/pickyeating. But I’m gonna put just a, a lot of information about Danielle’s programs and you know, when she has a live event happening, I’m gonna make sure you guys have access to that. So freshstartfamilyonline.com/pickyeating. And then we will make sure that all the show notes are updated too with all these incredible links from Danielle. But how, how beautiful Danielle, your work is so important. And I can see how when parents get empowered in this area and they approach this challenge with their children from a teamwork mentality, from a collaboration standpoint with faith and confidence that together things will get better.
That so translates right into the child, which is just amazing to think of how our children learn and grow. And we all want our kids to thrive. We wanna thrive in our own families as parents, as a family unit. And I know that your work just really does wonders to support parents. So thank you for being here today. Danielle, thank you for taking time outta your busy day to support our families and families. Go find Danielle’s work, go check out that webpage that we have with all of her resources and it’s been so fun chatting.
Danielle:
Yeah, thank you so much. And you know, mealtimes can be fun and sometimes it’s just like one little tweak that can make the difference. So I really hope this is helpful for your audience and thanks so much for having me today, Wendy. Yeah,
Wendy:
Danielle, one more thing too that we didn’t mention. I’ll put it in the show notes, but sometimes it’s just easier when you’re listening e I know you’re active on Instagram, so tell everyone your Instagram handle real quick cuz you do some fun stuff over there that’s like bite size easy to, you know, sometimes we have one minute and we’re scrolling and we’re just like, Hey, you know, check out Danielle’s stuff. Well, what is your Instagram handle?
Danielle:
Yeah, it’s DanielleBinnsNutrition, and that’s both Instagram and Facebook. And so we’re posting almost every day. And so you’ll find just simple things to say, simple fun ways to serve your kids foods, things not to give your kids things not to say. So lots of little resources in there if you’re like, you know what, I don’t really need coaching, I just want some bite-sized things that I can, I can try. And I’m all about simplicity. So these are things that you can easily incorporate into your busy day and we’d like to have lots of fun. You can also check out @CuriousCookieKids and that is our Instagram piece, which is highly, which is focused on food exploration and having fun with food. So,
Wendy:
Oh, I love that, mat. I love that mat, and how you do that. And last thing, Danielle, that I do want you to speak to, we’re gonna make sure we, we put that on that information page, freshstartfamilyonline.com/pickyeating. But tell members just a little bit about your membership. And it sounds like a lot like the Fresh Start Experience, but for picky eating where you’re, I mean, tell me if I’m wrong, but you’re just in having families stay consistent. You do a little bit every month, you do it together with your children, you, you do this learning from an empowered standpoint, but tell us a little bit more about that.
Danielle:
Yeah, so the Raising Adventurous Eaters Club, it was actually my, my course was started about eight years ago, but the Adventurous Eaters Club only started about four years ago. And what happened was, after I worked with families, they’re like, I love this, this is great. But now I’m, you know, we focus so much on the how, it’s like, okay, well how, what foods can I introduce and how do I do it in a fun way? I don’t know how to be creative and I just don’t have the brain power to think of like what recipe to make and I’m wasting too much food. So the, the Club was created in a way to solve that issue. So every month we focus on one food. It might be a vegetable, it might be a fruit, it might be a protein, but it’s generally a healthy food and a food that you want your kids to eat. And we’ve been doing this for, yeah, a couple years now. So we’ve got lots of kits and so you, every week we focus on a different thing you can do with that kit or do with that food rather.
So it’s an activity and a way to interact with that food. So again, if it’s, you know, carrots, it’s like what’s something, what’s a way that you can get your child to engage with carrots? How do we get them to have some fun with carrots and use their sensory system to explore it and learn to like it? What are some recipes that you can use as carrots? So now you got one food, you’re not trying to do all the things in one month. It keeps things super simple and now you’ve reduced your food waste as well. So we have lots of fun. There’s a Facebook community as well. I do some coaching throughout the week, so, or throughout the month so you can actually chat with me and you’re not alone through the process. It’s a very supportive community and we have lots of fun in there. So if your goal is to get your child adding more foods and trying more foods and exploring more in a funnily way that you don’t have to get creative with, then definitely check out the Raising Adventurous Eaters Club.
And so we can put a a link in the show notes and we’ll have a little bonus for anyone who joins from your podcast as well.
Wendy:
Oh, I love it. Danielle, dude, I don’t even have picky eaters and I feel like I would’ve Loved to be part of that club just to have that be part of our life as my kids were, were growing up. So that sounds like it would just be eating together and just fun even if you don’t have a picky eater.
Danielle:
So I could have used it too. I could have used it too, you know, 10 years ago, but here we are. Yeah.
Wendy:
All right, well Danielle, thank you again. And listeners, go check out Danielle’s work, check out the show notes page and freshstartfamilyonline.com/pickyeating and we’ll see you in the next episode. Families, I hope that you have loved this episode as much as I have loved recording it for you. Don’t forget to go grab your free Quick Start Learning bundle so you can really step into learning with me. Head on over to freshstartfamilyonline.com/free, and you’ll get your downloadable learning guide about how to raise strong-willed kids with integrity so you don’t lose your mind. And then also an invite to join me for my free Power Struggles Online workshop.
All right, go grab that now. freshstartfamilyonline.com/free. As always, thanks for listening and I’ll see you in the next episode.
For links and more info about everything we talked about in today’s episode, head to freshstartfamilyonline.com/175.
Stella:
For more information, go to freshstartfamilyonline.com. Thanks for listening, families, have a great day.
