On this episode of the Fresh Start Family Show, Wendy chats with the incredible Destini Ann Davis. Destini is a working mom and parenting coach, author, TedX speaker and host of B*tch, You Doing a Good Job podcast. She advocates for peaceful parenting and positive discipline techniques that encourage both the parent and child to connect and communicate.
Wendy and Destini dig into the intriguing topic of seeing boundaries as building fences (which help kids develop intrinsic control and cultivates the child to practice making decisions) vs using leashes with our kids (which are designed to control our kids and always backfires in the end).
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Episode Highlights:
- The boundary is something we as the parents are in control of. We can’t enforce an expectation without being punitive and using control, which isn’t gentle parenting
- As parents, we have the responsibility to set them up in an environment where we can cultivate a behavior without using force.
- If our kids don’t respect the boundary, then it’s probably not a good boundary
- Our kids’ behavior is trying to show us a need / desire that we need to explore so they don’t just find another outlet.
- Our kids need some autonomy to practice making decisions for themselves. We can give them freedom within a boundary to figure out who they are while teaching them to respect their future self.
- Sometimes boundaries are proactive and sometimes they are in response to what we learned from an experience
- Kids make good decision when they feel good about themselves, when they trust themselves and believe that we trust them and give them developmental appropriate empowerment & control
- We have to have life skills so we can model them to our kids as they develop them within the fence
- Your kids are going to show you all the areas you either need to grow, heal or accept
- Fences are there to help them have more peace and joy and empowerment in their lives
Resources Mentioned:
Where to find Destini:
Podcast (Spotify)
Her Book Very Intentional Parenting: Awakening the Empowered Parent Within
Her TEDx Talk No Bad Kids
IG Post about Adults Holding Kids to a Different Standard than We are Held to
IG Post on Fences & Boundaries
IG Post on How Can I Support You in Getting This Done
